Depressed and blah. :( Why's life hard like this?

[Gutterslut]

everything is worked out! please don't bump this thread any more! or send me messages asking me to move in with you, or talking bad about my boyfriend!
none of those were my intentions for starting this thread, i was just stupid and depressed!
ugh!

 

[PhxPlay4n6]

So, I feel really silly posting about this here - but you are all my friends! [I really do consider yous that] And I don't wanna post this in general - I hope this is fine here, most of you amateur photo people are my only friends here anyways.. and I don't really have anywhere else I can talk about this at, where my bf wouldn't see it, since we know most of the same people.

I'm just so depressed tonight, and trying to keep myself together, but it's so hard.

My boyfriend thinks I'm not financially independent enough, and thinks I should move out on my own to prove I can do it.

Some people are saying he's trying to let me down gently, but he's not. I think he truly believes that [what I said above], but he doesn't understand - I blow all of my money on stupid shit, because I have NO bills. I have no payments to make, the only thing I HAVE to buy are cigarettes, but I don't even have to buy them.

So anyways, now I'm just blah. We talked, and I decided I will move out. But I'm not staying here in Georgia. Fuck that. I'm going to just move to Dayton, Ohio and live near a friend up there, and I guess, live my life.

Part of me is excited - I will have freedom again! I will have my own place. I will be able to get a kitty, and put a canopy over my bed without hearing HIM bitch about it being girly. I can paint my bathroom yellow! And my bedroom too! And so many good things.

But I'm going to miss him. And I'm going to miss sex. And will I stay faithful?

Ugh. now I've wrote too much, but I'm sorry - I just need to get it out there before I go insane.

So... thoughts anyone? Just please be gentle..

kandice

Sometimes you just have a start a new chapter in life...I've done it twice, once as the person who left, and the other as the person who told someone to leave. It's hard, but if it's reached that point, it's time. *hugs*

 

[Gutterslut]

Sometimes you just have a start a new chapter in life...I've done it twice, once as the person who left, and the other as the person who told someone to leave. It's hard, but if it's reached that point, it's time. *hugs*

I just don't want it to be.
It sucks so bad, because we've been together for 3 years now - and I know we jumped the gun, we've never dated.. it's like.. we just pretty much started out by moving in together. but god, i dont fucking know.
this is just driving me crazy.

 

[Shyguy1369]

So, I feel really silly posting about this here - but you are all my friends! [I really do consider yous that] And I don't wanna post this in general - I hope this is fine here, most of you amateur photo people are my only friends here anyways.. and I don't really have anywhere else I can talk about this at, where my bf wouldn't see it, since we know most of the same people.

I'm just so depressed tonight, and trying to keep myself together, but it's so hard.

My boyfriend thinks I'm not financially independent enough, and thinks I should move out on my own to prove I can do it.

Some people are saying he's trying to let me down gently, but he's not. I think he truly believes that [what I said above], but he doesn't understand - I blow all of my money on stupid shit, because I have NO bills. I have no payments to make, the only thing I HAVE to buy are cigarettes, but I don't even have to buy them.

So anyways, now I'm just blah. We talked, and I decided I will move out. But I'm not staying here in Georgia. Fuck that. I'm going to just move to Dayton, Ohio and live near a friend up there, and I guess, live my life.

Part of me is excited - I will have freedom again! I will have my own place. I will be able to get a kitty, and put a canopy over my bed without hearing HIM bitch about it being girly. I can paint my bathroom yellow! And my bedroom too! And so many good things.

But I'm going to miss him. And I'm going to miss sex. And will I stay faithful?

Ugh. now I've wrote too much, but I'm sorry - I just need to get it out there before I go insane.

So... thoughts anyone? Just please be gentle..

kandice

I think life throws everyone a curve now and again. We can usually handle the fastballs but those nasty curves can surely make us strike out.

Ok enough baseball analogy.

You are a wonderful woman, and shouldn't NEED to PROVE anything. You are one of the sweetest and kindest women I have met. We don't always share everything in common, but I do know that sometimes people really want us to do what they think is best. Well to use another saying, what is good for the goose is not always good for the gander. You have to realize that there are people out there who will support your decision to take your leave and try to get a grasp on your life.

Look at me, talking about getting a grasp on life, I seem to be able to share advice but not take my own... but this is about you. If you feel secure in what you are doing, and are sincere with yourself, then I say you must sometimes just follow your instincts... even if it means giving up somethings you have grown accustomed to. I am always here for you to talk to.

Hugs and Kisses sweety
x 13

 

[PhxPlay4n6]

I just don't want it to be.
It sucks so bad, because we've been together for 3 years now - and I know we jumped the gun, we've never dated.. it's like.. we just pretty much started out by moving in together. but god, i dont fucking know.
this is just driving me crazy.

We're all here for you, it's important to lean on others and find what's best for you...being in a loveless situation only hurts both of you.

 

[Samael]

Sounds as though you are ready to move onto a new chapter in life dear. It just seems that he may not be willing to go with. It is very hard to keep a long distance relationship going. Not saying it can't be done, just hard sometimes.

Does he want you to stay in GA? Or is he okay with you moving to Ohio? If he is not bothered by you moving so far away, then maybe it is time to re-evaluate your life and your relationship.

Only my thoughts on it.

 

[Gutterslut]

Sounds as though you are ready to move onto a new chapter in life dear. It just seems that he may not be willing to go with. It is very hard to keep a long distance relationship going. Not saying it can't be done, just hard sometimes.

Does he want you to stay in GA? Or is he okay with you moving to Ohio? If he is not bothered by you moving so far away, then maybe it is time to re-evaluate your life and your relationship.

Only my thoughts on it.

He wants me to stay here, and get an apartment in our town.
But I think thats silly. Why move out, yet be like two minutes up the road? Thats money I could've been saving or something, for a house for us. He doesn't want me going to Ohio at all.

And long distance relationship is how we met. We were apart for about a year and a half, and that made things perfectly. So that's not an issue, the issue is just, why would he say something like that? It just kills me inside. Like I seriously feel as though I'm like slowly dying.

i fuck around a lot, and tell people I'd fuck them if I had the chance, but truth be told, I wouldnt. Im in a serious relationship, and I honor it. I love him, and I know he is the one for me. I just dont see why I'm like, such a horrible girlfriend or whatever the case may be.

siigh.
*hug*

 

[Gutterslut]

We're all here for you, it's important to lean on others and find what's best for you...being in a loveless situation only hurts both of you.

But he does love me. He just wants us to not live together.

Thats like a step backwards in our relationship, even though he may think its three steps forward.

 

[Gutterslut]

I think life throws everyone a curve now and again. We can usually handle the fastballs but those nasty curves can surely make us strike out.

Ok enough baseball analogy.

You are a wonderful woman, and shouldn't NEED to PROVE anything. You are one of the sweetest and kindest women I have met. We don't always share everything in common, but I do know that sometimes people really want us to do what they think is best. Well to use another saying, what is good for the goose is not always good for the gander. You have to realize that there are people out there who will support your decision to take your leave and try to get a grasp on your life.

Look at me, talking about getting a grasp on life, I seem to be able to share advice but not take my own... but this is about you. If you feel secure in what you are doing, and are sincere with yourself, then I say you must sometimes just follow your instincts... even if it means giving up somethings you have grown accustomed to. I am always here for you to talk to.

Hugs and Kisses sweety
x 13

don't wanna seem like I'm ignoring you, so just responding to say, you know we are talking on AIM about this.
<3333 and thank you. for everything.
<3

 

[Samael]

He wants me to stay here, and get an apartment in our town.
But I think thats silly. Why move out, yet be like two minutes up the road? Thats money I could've been saving or something, for a house for us. He doesn't want me going to Ohio at all.

And long distance relationship is how we met. We were apart for about a year and a half, and that made things perfectly. So that's not an issue, the issue is just, why would he say something like that? It just kills me inside. Like I seriously feel as though I'm like slowly dying.

i fuck around a lot, and tell people I'd fuck them if I had the chance, but truth be told, I wouldnt. Im in a serious relationship, and I honor it. I love him, and I know he is the one for me. I just dont see why I'm like, such a horrible girlfriend or whatever the case may be.

siigh.
*hug*

Does he know you are a flirt? If so then he should know that is part of your nature and that you love him first and foremost. If doesn't then there is something more then you just proving your financial independence. And do you "fuck" around or goof around... there is a difference.

 

[Gutterslut]

Does he know you are a flirt? If so then he should know that is part of your nature and that you love him first and foremost. If doesn't then there is something more then you just proving your financial independence. And do you "fuck" around or goof around... there is a difference.

I don't fuck around. What I meant is that I play around with people, and say those things.. but it's all just an... I guess you can say online thing. I dont know. I'm sure I'm going to have people hating me after reading this, and if thats the case, I'm sorry and oh well, but thats why I dont cyber and stuff. I even feel uncomfortable talking on AIm about what turns me on, and etc. Like, I'm a good girlfriend in that aspect.

yes, he knows I flirt. I've been a flirt, or a perv as I call myself, my whole life. haha. That's part of me. He accepts it, as long as I dont cheat. And I don't. I won't.

I truly do believe the financial thing is all of it - I just dont get how he can feel okay telling me that moving out would better things. He wants to date and stuff. he wants to have his own stuff again, without having to share it.

fuck. i can see the truth in my head, but i keep trying to fight it.
i just need to let it all out, and face the facts i guess.

 

[warpdrive1980]

Its tough getting into a serious relationship so young. My last g/f was 19 when we started going out. We were together for four years and lived together for three. I always told her that before we got married i wanted us to finish growing up. By the time we grew up we weren't going to make together, and she moved out. It was the hardest thing i've gone through because we still loved each other, but other things we couldn't work out. I still miss her, but i'm glad we broke up before we got married or had kids. Maybe your b/f wants you finish growing up before you two move on with your life together. Maybe he wants out, i don't know. The best relationships are ones where you stand together hand in hand. If someone has to carry the other it won't last for ever. In a situation like this don't focus on which path is best but make whatever path you choose the best.

 

[Samael]

I don't fuck around. What I meant is that I play around with people, and say those things.. but it's all just an... I guess you can say online thing. I dont know. I'm sure I'm going to have people hating me after reading this, and if thats the case, I'm sorry and oh well, but thats why I dont cyber and stuff. I even feel uncomfortable talking on AIm about what turns me on, and etc. Like, I'm a good girlfriend in that aspect.

yes, he knows I flirt. I've been a flirt, or a perv as I call myself, my whole life. haha. That's part of me. He accepts it, as long as I dont cheat. And I don't. I won't.

I truly do believe the financial thing is all of it - I just dont get how he can feel okay telling me that moving out would better things. He wants to date and stuff. he wants to have his own stuff again, without having to share it.

fuck. i can see the truth in my head, but i keep trying to fight it.
i just need to let it all out, and face the facts i guess.

Sounds like he wanting some freedoms back that he is missing. Like doing what he wants with out having to let someone know what or where. I have gone through that myself a few times, but that is all part of being in a relationship, giving up some of your freedoms.

But if it is the financial issue only, then why not make you responsible for certain bills and make you help out that way. There are so many ways that he could go about this other then kicking you out.

 

[Gutterslut]

Its tough getting into a serious relationship so young. My last g/f was 19 when we started going out. We were together for four years and lived together for three. I always told her that before we got married i wanted us to finish growing up. By the time we grew up we weren't going to make together, and she moved out. It was the hardest thing i've gone through because we still loved each other, but other things we couldn't work out. I still miss her, but i'm glad we broke up before we got married or had kids. Maybe your b/f wants you finish growing up before you two move on with your life together. Maybe he wants out, i don't know. The best relationships are ones where you stand together hand in hand. If someone has to carry the other it won't last for ever. In a situation like this don't focus on which path is best but make whatever path you choose the best.

Well, I grew up when I was about 14 - and fully finished at 19, due to some fucked up shit that happened in my life.

It seems like he is more of the problem, not me. It;s weird little things he wants. :/

I think we do need to just really think about each other, and if we are together, or in front/behind each other.

 

[Gutterslut]

Sounds like he wanting some freedoms back that he is missing. Like doing what he wants with out having to let someone know what or where. I have gone through that myself a few times, but that is all part of being in a relationship, giving up some of your freedoms.

But if it is the financial issue only, then why not make you responsible for certain bills and make you help out that way. There are so many ways that he could go about this other then kicking you out.

Sad thing is, he has no life. he doesn't really leave the house. he has no friends here. and he likes it that way. the things he wants to himself, is his camera, his ipod, and his headphones. oh, and the bedroom, because i was making it too girly, and the bathroom, because my curling irons, perfumes, and blowdryer are on the counter.

:/

and the thing is, neither of us have any bills! thats what im saying is so weird... we have no bills at all! he is going back to college starting this week, but thats his shit. he doesnt have a car. he lost his license. I have a car. I have my license. I drive him to work since he cant. the only difference is that i quit my job/got fired like a month ago, and money has been tight, because we had tons of christmas presents to buy for each other and our families.

its not like bills are behind. we have all the money we need. he just thinks i should save mine instead of going shopping.

its completely fucked up

 

[warpdrive1980]

I hope you work things out with him. Or he works things out with himself and you to are able to move on in life.

 

[Gutterslut]

I hope you work things out with him. Or he works things out with himself and you to are able to move on in life.

I hope so too.
I just can't see that really happening too soon - but I guess everything happens for a reason. I should be thankful I met him in the first place, and hope that moving out helps a lot.

i should probably stop typing before i type another three million paragraphs on bullshit.
olol.

im sorry everyone. i try not to show this side, but it was either talk to someone about it, or go off the deep end.
:/

 

[warpdrive1980]

I'm glad venting helped. keep your head up and good luck

 

[PhxPlay4n6]

I hope so too.
I just can't see that really happening too soon - but I guess everything happens for a reason. I should be thankful I met him in the first place, and hope that moving out helps a lot.

i should probably stop typing before i type another three million paragraphs on bullshit.
olol.

im sorry everyone. i try not to show this side, but it was either talk to someone about it, or go off the deep end.
:/

Typing it out is therapeutic...gives you something to bang on besides a wall.

 

[SpectralDragoon]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I can empathize with both sides of the situation. But it really sounds like it's more than financial independence that he's concerned about. As Dunchad said above, there are more ways to go about it than this. Keep your head up and good luck. :\

 

[mattdchef]

awe, kan baby....big hugs for you...

ever consider nre rngland? j/k you do what is best for you...its easier said than done...go to ohio...explore your new chapter anytime you need to chat look me up...will pm you my screen name

 

[Hocky9377]

I think it just depends on how he feels about you moving out of Georgia and up to Ohio.

Financially independent? You have no bills. How much more independent can you get? I would rather someone be financially independent than financially dependent.

 

[Hocky9377]

I truly do believe the financial thing is all of it - I just dont get how he can feel okay telling me that moving out would better things. He wants to date and stuff. he wants to have his own stuff again, without having to share it.

fuck. i can see the truth in my head, but i keep trying to fight it.
i just need to let it all out, and face the facts i guess.

Im sorry. I know Im going to sound like an asshole, but I think this is how he is feeling. He wants out. From what I have read in the thread already, he has no bills, you have no bills, he is starting school again. . .he wants out. He says he wants to continue dating, but how can that happen when you are going to be in Ohio? Did you tell him that is where you are going to go?

You said he feels you are making things too girly for him in the bedroom and bathroom. What does that really matter? You are living together. Of course there are going to be hair dryers, curlers, and other girly stuff in there. Every guy knows that when the g/f moves in, your bathroom is pretty much gone. That becomes "her" room. And the bedroom, well a canopy can be fun. He could have tied you up to the posts. . . .never mind.

Im sorry about whats going on. You should pick up the pieces and move on. Go up to Ohio and get your life back. You might meet someone who will make you completely forget about him. I'll be thinking of you.

P.S.- Like matt said, have you considered New England. Just kidding.

 

[Samael]

Well I hope that everyone's advice has helped out dear. It is a hard decision to make but all in all it sounds like it is time to move on, with or without him. And if Ohio is where you need to be to do that then head on out baby. From the sounds of it you have survived worse and will survive this as well.

 

[Gutterslut]

Im sorry. I know Im going to sound like an asshole, but I think this is how he is feeling. He wants out. From what I have read in the thread already, he has no bills, you have no bills, he is starting school again. . .he wants out. He says he wants to continue dating, but how can that happen when you are going to be in Ohio? Did you tell him that is where you are going to go?

You said he feels you are making things too girly for him in the bedroom and bathroom. What does that really matter? You are living together. Of course there are going to be hair dryers, curlers, and other girly stuff in there. Every guy knows that when the g/f moves in, your bathroom is pretty much gone. That becomes "her" room. And the bedroom, well a canopy can be fun. He could have tied you up to the posts. . . .never mind.

Im sorry about whats going on. You should pick up the pieces and move on. Go up to Ohio and get your life back. You might meet someone who will make you completely forget about him. I'll be thinking of you.

P.S.- Like matt said, have you considered New England. Just kidding.

I'm going to reply to this one in particular, but in response to everyone.

Yesterday we had a talk, and I told him I would move to either Ohio or Virginia [only VA if I got accepted into this Fine Arts school] and he acted okay with it, but then acted like a baby. he told me he didnt want me moving out of state, or evne out of town. He just wanted me to learn how to spend my money wisely, because when I have $500 to blow, I blow it all. He understands I may not have bills, but he wants us to save up so we can get all these things we want. Because I'm always talking about how I want a range rover, and I dont have the 80,000 to just throw away on one.

So thats what he meant. The thing is with him, he gets pissed about something, and just randomly talks. It sounds horrible, but we are both so spiteful to each other when we are pissed off. But, I dunno. We just... if any of you saw us around each other, you would understand we are SO meant to be.

So everything is better now, he doesn't want me moving out, the way to fix the situation is to save money, and not go shopping so much. So for him, I'm going to do it.

But, if I find some really good shoes on sale, I will be buying them.

I really appreciate everyones replies, the way he was talking and acting, I can completely understand where you all would draw assumptions that he wanted to end it with me.

And about me taking over his stuff, what I think it is, is that he has no room for his stuff because of all my stuff. I do have over 30 perfumes, scattered about between our computer room, bedroom and bathroom. He has this weird thing of liking to see everything bare... as in, semi minimalist...

but i like everything decorated, and covered.. and just.. looking nice. I dont know how to explain it. but in ways we are so opposite, but i'm also stubborn.. so we're both going to start compromising on things, and sharing things, and being open, yadda yadda.

so all is well.

thank you all so much. so so so much. you have no idea how many PM's, IM"s, and all these replies here... they all made me feel so much better.

thanks.

<3 kandice