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Deplorable Crows

. . .and the comma goes inside the parenthesis, "Tweak," <----thusly.
 
I love crows. Back when I used to work at the tax office me and secretary would go out to smoke together all the time and there was a murder of crows that lived out back by the dumpster, you know, to dumpster dive as crows are want to do.

We had this entire like, reality TV show drama thing about these crows. Like we gave them names and shit. And after lunch we'd take our food out there and give it to them.

There was this furniture store in the same little block of stores and sometimes the guys there would come out to smoke or take furniture out to the dumpster and we realized that THEY HAD THE SAME CROW DRAMA. But they had given them different names, so one day during our lunch break we all four happened to be out there at the same time and we were like, "Dude we gotta sit down and get our crow canon straight."

Just... wholesome friendly crow talk. Fun times.

Also, I swear to god this is true, if you threw a cigarette butt on the ground Big Becky, the crow, would take it and throw it away and sometimes scream at you for littering. She was very environmentally conscious. Becky, the reason I'm doing that is because it's on fire and I have to snuff it out. You're gonna set that whole dumpster on fire one day.
 
I love that the correct term for "a buncha crows" is a "murder" of 'em.

It should be said in your best James Cagney voice though.
 
CandiCame said:
I love crows. Back when I used to work at the tax office me and secretary would go out to smoke together all the time and there was a murder of crows that lived out back by the dumpster, you know, to dumpster dive as crows are want to do.

We had this entire like, reality TV show drama thing about these crows. Like we gave them names and shit. And after lunch we'd take our food out there and give it to them.

There was this furniture store in the same little block of stores and sometimes the guys there would come out to smoke or take furniture out to the dumpster and we realized that THEY HAD THE SAME CROW DRAMA. But they had given them different names, so one day during our lunch break we all four happened to be out there at the same time and we were like, "Dude we gotta sit down and get our crow canon straight."

Just... wholesome friendly crow talk. Fun times.

Also, I swear to god this is true, if you threw a cigarette butt on the ground Big Becky, the crow, would take it and throw it away and sometimes scream at you for littering. She was very environmentally conscious. Becky, the reason I'm doing that is because it's on fire and I have to snuff it out. You're gonna set that whole dumpster on fire one day.
Click to expand...

Crows won't come within 50 feet of humans. :)
 
RocketLauncher said:
Now qeew, you're not really one to be giving grammar lessons, are you? Being esl and all....
Click to expand...

American Standard English is my only language if you don't count a little Spanglish. More than I can say for your "Canadian" butchery of The Queen's English. You can't decide whether you want to sound English or American.

Frankly, I think we should all take it upon ourselves to teach Kato (or "Tweak" as he prefers to be called) the high school dropout and self-appointed pedant of the board proper usage. Just so he doesn't embarrass himself quite so often.

I think your snarky tone worked a lot better with Littlefinger.
 
Last edited:
Que said:
I love that the correct term for "a buncha crows" is a "murder" of 'em.

It should be said in your best James Cagney voice though.
Click to expand...

I'm actually pretty sure that that's technically goth nonsense and it's a 'flock' but language is fluid and ever changing so I do what I want.
 
Que said:
American Standard English is my only language if you don't count a little Spanglish. More than I can say for your "Canadian" butchery of The Queen's English. You can't decide whether you want to sound English or American.

Frankly, I think we should all take it upon ourselves to teach Kato (or "Tweak" as he prefers to be called) the high school dropout and self-appointed pendant of the board proper usage. Just so he doesn't embarrass himself quite so often.

I think your snarky tone worked a lot better with Littlefinger.
Click to expand...

Lol. Sleep it off, Tweaker.
 
CandiCame said:
I'm actually pretty sure that that's technically goth nonsense and it's a 'flock' but language is fluid and ever changing so I do what I want.
Click to expand...

I don't know about crows specifically, but venery terms for animals started in the middle ages (?) if I remember correctly. There's was a neat thread discussion about it on here once.
 
Luk said:
They sit on light posts which are definitely not 50' tall. Kenneth struggles when he's in troll mode.
Click to expand...

Crows are pretty gregarious, and they've got good memories for who is friend or foe, even with human faces. There are some cool YouTube videos of wild crows interacting with people.

It's just, Kenneth seems to enjoy being wrong. All the time.
 
Last edited:
von_Bismarck said:
https://youtu.be/WANZBs8Za0Q



Do you go out of your way to be wrong in nearly every post, Kenneth? :confused:
Click to expand...

I usually get pissed when people repost folks I've blocked but Jesus lord that was stupid. Crows will literally fly up and land on you. They don't give a fuck. Crows are so known for not minding their business there are myths about them from pretty much every culture they live near about them being tricksters and thieves and shit. Because they'll just come up to you and rob you.

That's not a joke. Crows rob people because they figured out how vending machines work.

This crow straight up stole a dude's credit card to buy a train ticket. They don't give a fuck.
 
CandiCame said:
I'm actually pretty sure that that's technically goth nonsense and it's a 'flock' but language is fluid and ever changing so I do what I want.
Click to expand...

No it is correct. A murder of crows will attack and kill even cannibalize an outsider who strays into their territory. I think they'll even attack and eat a sick or wounded one of their own murder.
 
Que said:
No it is correct. A murder of crows will attack and kill even cannibalize an outsider who strays into their territory. I think they'll even attack and eat a sick or wounded one of their own murder.
Click to expand...

Only if they're found guilty at crow court.
 
CandiCame said:
I usually get pissed when people repost folks I've blocked but Jesus lord that was stupid. Crows will literally fly up and land on you. They don't give a fuck. Crows are so known for not minding their business there are myths about them from pretty much every culture they live near about them being tricksters and thieves and shit. Because they'll just come up to you and rob you.

That's not a joke. Crows rob people because they figured out how vending machines work.

This crow straight up stole a dude's credit card to buy a train ticket. They don't give a fuck.
Click to expand...

https://media1.tenor.com/images/61be1dc0c8a6157fc489e1ceaf87508c/tenor.gif?itemid=13961083
 
. . .and as if on cue, Rory to crow victory.
 
Que said:
No they murder 'em. If crows believed in due process it would be known as a gallows of crows.
Click to expand...

Crow court is a real thing.

I swear I love this board because sometimes it makes me feel like I'm the only one who knows anything about anything and I love it. You can't find that anywhere else on the internet.

How do you not know about crow court? It's this huge thing, there are legends and folklore and stories about it from pretty much every culture in the world.

When a crow is accused of a crime, it must go before the tribunal and plead its case. It stands in the middle of a circle and gives its defense. If it's found to be innocent, the circle just flies off. If it's found to be guilty the arbiters descend and tear it limb from limb.
 
CandiCame said:
Crow court is a real thing.

I swear I love this board because sometimes it makes me feel like I'm the only one who knows anything about anything and I love it. You can't find that anywhere else on the internet.

How do you not know about crow court? It's this huge thing, there are legends and folklore and stories about it from pretty much every culture in the world.

When a crow is accused of a crime, it must go before the tribunal and plead its case. It stands in the middle of a circle and gives its defense. If it's found to be innocent, the circle just flies off. If it's found to be guilty the arbiters descend and tear it limb from limb.
Click to expand...

https://media1.tenor.com/images/61be1dc0c8a6157fc489e1ceaf87508c/tenor.gif?itemid=13961083
 
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