Demolished

[satindesire]

Ya, but when every person you meet from that profession seems untrustworthy, if you will, then it sorta' starts to become redundant and useless. Maybe I SHOULD start seeking therapy, but it's hard when you have trust issues with therapists in the first place.

But yeah, I know... I'll definately think about it.

You're defeating yourself before you even start.

Yoda says:

Do or do not. There is no 'try'.

 

[Mac98]

argue for your limitations and so they shall be yours (or) If you say it often enough, it will become your reality even if it isn't real. Instead of looking for a chick...try looking for a good wingman.

Unless I'm missing the point, I don't really believe in sending good vibrations out. Visualisation hasn't really ever worked for me... But yeah, maybe I should look into finding better friends xD

You're defeating yourself before you even start.

Yoda says:

Do or do not. There is no 'try'.

...Thanks, Yoda.

 

[Sugar_Spice]

You're defeating yourself before you even start.

Yoda says:

Do or do not. There is no 'try'.

-Indeed he did- and Yoda is a very wise chap!

…We could build a whole case comment around his quotes...

Okay, so the OP, Mac98's conquered the first hurdle;

"Named must your fear be before banish it you can."

But isn't very positive about her chances;

"Always with you what cannot be done!"

-and after all;

"The path to the dark side, fear is"

Establishing that the OP, Mac98 must give the next therapist a fair shot before assuming the worst;

"You must unlearn what you have learned"

-because if you don’t have faith and believe in what you’re going into then;

“That is why you fail!” (Please- no offence intended Miss Mac98- I’m only building a green-eared case!)

-and that;

"Much to learn you still have." (Again- 900 year old ears may be able to patronise, but I cannot- sorry!)

Then follow that with Satin's input;

“Do or do not. There is no try.”

Whilst also advocating some caution that;

"A great warrior he is, wars do not make one great"

-and after all that;

"Always in motion the future is..."

-As we don’t yet know if the next therapist might also be a scoundrel!


But then, of course Yoda, did ALSO say...

"Size matters not. Judge me by my size do you?"



Darn...

"Go into exile I must...failed I have."



If only Yoda hadn’t been so busy fighting the Dark Side and training young Padawans, he would made a very good Agony Aunt!

…There may be some wicked humour to found in answering posts in the appropriate Yoda/ Chewie …Gandalf/ Gollum/ …Adama/ Starbuck / …Basil Fawlty/ …Christopher Lee manner!

Oh the fun! 

 

[coastal-boy]

Unless I'm missing the point, I don't really believe in sending good vibrations out. Visualisation hasn't really ever worked for me... But yeah, maybe I should look into finding better friends xD

what I'm trying to say, is if you find conversing with women awkward because you have convinced yourself you are incapable of it, then hang with someone who can (a wingman) and feed off his conversation. Let him lead, but you smile alot and laugh at the appropriate times...sooner or later the girl will ask a question directly to you and just go with it...don't think...just take over the flight.

 

[Mac98]

-Indeed he did- and Yoda is a very wise chap!

…We could build a whole case comment around his quotes...

Okay, so the OP, Mac98's conquered the first hurdle;

"Named must your fear be before banish it you can."

But isn't very positive about her chances;

"Always with you what cannot be done!"

-and after all;

"The path to the dark side, fear is"

Establishing that the OP, Mac98 must give the next therapist a fair shot before assuming the worst;

"You must unlearn what you have learned"

-because if you don’t have faith and believe in what you’re going into then;

“That is why you fail!” (Please- no offence intended Miss Mac98- I’m only building a green-eared case!)

-and that;

"Much to learn you still have." (Again- 900 year old ears may be able to patronise, but I cannot- sorry!)

Then follow that with Satin's input;

“Do or do not. There is no try.”

Whilst also advocating some caution that;

"A great warrior he is, wars do not make one great"

-and after all that;

"Always in motion the future is..."

-As we don’t yet know if the next therapist might also be a scoundrel!


But then, of course Yoda, did ALSO say...

"Size matters not. Judge me by my size do you?"



Darn...

"Go into exile I must...failed I have."



If only Yoda hadn’t been so busy fighting the Dark Side and training young Padawans, he would made a very good Agony Aunt!

…There may be some wicked humour to found in answering posts in the appropriate Yoda/ Chewie …Gandalf/ Gollum/ …Adama/ Starbuck / …Basil Fawlty/ …Christopher Lee manner!

Oh the fun! 

...wtf just happened? (Oh, and FYI, I'm a guy... but that's alright, you didn't know). Thank you for that... sorta' took the seriousness out of the discussion...

what I'm trying to say, is if you find conversing with women awkward because you have convinced yourself you are incapable of it, then hang with someone who can (a wingman) and feed off his conversation. Let him lead, but you smile alot and laugh at the appropriate times...sooner or later the girl will ask a question directly to you and just go with it...don't think...just take over the flight.

My best friend is a great conversationist (it's a word!), so I usually do just that, only most of the attention is, in consequence, directed entirely towards him. I don't mind though, I'm not much for spotlights... which may be my problem in the first place, though...

 

[satindesire]

My best friend is a great conversationist (it's a word!)

No, it's not.

"conversationalist" is what you're meaning, honey.

 

[Sugar_Spice]

...wtf just happened? (Oh, and FYI, I'm a guy... but that's alright, you didn't know). Thank you for that... sorta' took the seriousness out of the discussion...

Oh, hey- I'm sorry! Shucks, first I confuse your gender, and then I inadvertantly offend you... Oh dear!

I'm sorry- I just got carried away by an idea!

Still... I'm a girl, and you're talking to me, right?? It all helps, right? -Even if the girl is talking nonsense??

My best friend is a great conversationist (it's a word!), so I usually do just that, only most of the attention is, in consequence, directed entirely towards him. I don't mind though, I'm not much for spotlights... which may be my problem in the first place, though...

I've known lots of ppl become well known as someone's 'sidekick'. And even if they're just organising social events with them etc, you can't help but get to know ppl through this. It's only the 1% attention from the girl that you meet and click with that matters right, anyway!?

 

[coastal-boy]

I've known lots of ppl become well known as someone's 'sidekick'. And even if they're just organising social events with them etc, you can't help but get to know ppl through this. It's only the 1% attention from the girl that you meet and click with that matters right, anyway!?

and dude...she gave you HER FIRST POST

 

[Mac98]

No, it's not.

"conversationalist" is what you're meaning, honey.

hahaha leave me alone!

I've known lots of ppl become well known as someone's 'sidekick'. And even if they're just organising social events with them etc, you can't help but get to know ppl through this. It's only the 1% attention from the girl that you meet and click with that matters right, anyway!?

Don't worry, you haven't offended me at all... it'll take more than confusing my gender. And I don't mind being the sidekick. But my friend is considered the "good looking" one between the two of us. I don't mind much, though. I'm not the jelous type...

and dude...she gave you HER FIRST POST

Ya... cuz she thought I was a CHICK!!

...Besides, it's not long I'm void of any female contact whatsoever... come on! Don't make me sound desperate, here!

 

[satindesire]

hahaha leave me alone!

Pbbbbbhttt.

 

[Kikori]

...wtf just happened? (Oh, and FYI, I'm a guy... but that's alright, you didn't know). Thank you for that... sorta' took the seriousness out of the discussion...

"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men."

I'm starting to like that quote more and more.

Unfortunately, with introversion comes a lack of opportunity. That much is true. Those who avoid being the outspoken party animals, "bad boys" unafraid of saying what they want when they want, and seek to take who they want whenever rather than make a fair & respectful approach will very rarely wind up in "first". I make that line because you asked earlier if nice guys really finish last.

That only can hold true if they're hiding being nice, if they take "nice" as "unwilling to ask for what they want if it may bother others", or (and this is where the biggest mistake seems to be made) if they never make the first move. To be a gentleman is to take care of others first if they deserve the attention, in the most respectful way possible. However, how can you be a gentleman to people you don't ever engage? I'm sure NOBODY here wants you to turn into one of the douchebags who get what they want short-term by behaving like spoiled asses. But, one immediate thing that seems to need to change is who you are willing to speak with as a friend.

As per your relationship, being destroyed and demoralized is entirely understandable. Not only that, but given how long the desire has been in place only to be shot down, time will have to be taken to be able to let go of the feelings for your friend's "FF". If this includes calling her to tell her everything of how you really felt, so be it. It is up to you if you'd still be willing to try with her despite your knowledge of her flaws, but given the issues that have become of the situation, it's probably safe to say admitting how you once felt will also be followed by a line stating that there's no going back to how you felt. That serves one purpose, possibly two. One is that it would get it off your chest to the people actually involved, meaning the secret would be out. Two, possibly, is if she felt guilt and had any feelings for you (because I wouldn't put it past her lacing into you being anger that you never made an advance on her), it would tell her that she missed her chance at having a nice guy who'd be sure to love her.

Nice guys will only finish last if they don't strive to make it where they want to be. Don't trust Karma to give you someone just for being the nice guy; trust it to help the people you meet find out you're actually a good-for-something nice guy, to help who you meet see you for who you say you are.

 

[Mac98]

"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men."

I'm starting to like that quote more and more.

Unfortunately, with introversion comes a lack of opportunity. That much is true. Those who avoid being the outspoken party animals, "bad boys" unafraid of saying what they want when they want, and seek to take who they want whenever rather than make a fair & respectful approach will very rarely wind up in "first". I make that line because you asked earlier if nice guys really finish last.

That only can hold true if they're hiding being nice, if they take "nice" as "unwilling to ask for what they want if it may bother others", or (and this is where the biggest mistake seems to be made) if they never make the first move. To be a gentleman is to take care of others first if they deserve the attention, in the most respectful way possible. However, how can you be a gentleman to people you don't ever engage? I'm sure NOBODY here wants you to turn into one of the douchebags who get what they want short-term by behaving like spoiled asses. But, one immediate thing that seems to need to change is who you are willing to speak with as a friend.

As per your relationship, being destroyed and demoralized is entirely understandable. Not only that, but given how long the desire has been in place only to be shot down, time will have to be taken to be able to let go of the feelings for your friend's "FF". If this includes calling her to tell her everything of how you really felt, so be it. It is up to you if you'd still be willing to try with her despite your knowledge of her flaws, but given the issues that have become of the situation, it's probably safe to say admitting how you once felt will also be followed by a line stating that there's no going back to how you felt. That serves one purpose, possibly two. One is that it would get it off your chest to the people actually involved, meaning the secret would be out. Two, possibly, is if she felt guilt and had any feelings for you (because I wouldn't put it past her lacing into you being anger that you never made an advance on her), it would tell her that she missed her chance at having a nice guy who'd be sure to love her.

Nice guys will only finish last if they don't strive to make it where they want to be. Don't trust Karma to give you someone just for being the nice guy; trust it to help the people you meet find out you're actually a good-for-something nice guy, to help who you meet see you for who you say you are.

You know, this is perhaps some of the greatest advice. It's motivating, that's for sure. I told myself a while ago (and when I say "a while ago", I mean a few months ago) that if/when she and my best friend broke up, I'd tell her everything. I'm sticking to that promise I made to myself, I'm just giving it a little time. The rupture between the two is still fresh, so I feel it may not be the right time just yet (especially that she's probably still not over losing my best friend... she seemed very much in love with him). I'll tell her soon, that's for sure. I think I deserve it. This is the first year in more than 5 that I've started telling people... I think it's time I say it directly to her.

No, not because I think I have a chance with her, more to get this chapter over and done with and turn the page. And heck, the ball will now be in her court for a change. She can do what she wants with it now, I honestly don't give a poo.

And you're right: I can be a nice guy and still know what I want. I guess that's the better mix.

 

[Sugar_Spice]

hahaha leave me alone!



Don't worry, you haven't offended me at all... it'll take more than confusing my gender. And I don't mind being the sidekick. But my friend is considered the "good looking" one between the two of us. I don't mind much, though. I'm not the jelous type...



Ya... cuz she thought I was a CHICK!!

...Besides, it's not long I'm void of any female contact whatsoever... come on! Don't make me sound desperate, here!

Hah- you got my first post AND I thought it was girl-on-girl!? -And you're Complaining??

Some people are just never happy...!

 

[Mac98]

Hah- you got my first post AND I thought it was girl-on-girl!? -And you're Complaining??

Some people are just never happy...!

I'm not complaining about you, SS, I'm complaining about... actually, I have no idea what I'm complaining about...

 

[Kikori]

Vent, vent, vent away, then.

 

[Sugar_Spice]

I'm not complaining about you, SS, I'm complaining about... actually, I have no idea what I'm complaining about...

Oh, good, good!