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[Showmewhatchugot84]

........ .......

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

First off. You’re not alone. Several of us are walking this same path to varying degrees. The emotional rollercoaster you expressed is something I can identify with.

Writing is cathartic and nothing you should apologize for.

 

[artslut86]

Had same conversation for the umpteenth time. But why would you want to be edged and denied and tasked.? Just come a lot have fun.... except that's not what happens. Well I hope it works out for you. I've been fortunate to find a demanding online Domme who is angel.....with very bad side !

 

[artslut86]

Valuable insight. My lovely D has been training me. Throughout that process I'm learning that service and sometimes the suffering imposed by that service is worth more than 'my' needs. When I please her thru executing her commands flawlessly there might be a reward at the end. If that please her.
However if a person is in r.ship where they are the only participant I fail to see how serving more awakens a deeper r.ship.
I'd like to think my selflessness with my spouse is done just to please. We are close, but sexual contact is no longer an interest. Even attempting to spice things up is met with 'meh'.

 

[IrisAlthea]

She says how it could be fun. She'll even say ok let's do it. I get all excited that it finally is going to happen, but then it doesn't. It's really difficult to be so vulnerable with the one you love and express things that have been buried internally for so long. So when she agrees that it could be fun it's a bit of weight lifted up. But when the actions don't follow the conversation it leads me into a depression.

To me, this seems like someone who knows how hard it must be to open up and be vulnerable and cares about not hurting your feelings. That doesn’t mean that it is what she wants for herself or that she has any real interest in it.
Not everyone wants to run the show and
”be the driver”. Not even those who seem to do just that in everyday life, are necessarily into doing it sexually.