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I was told that one was able to deflower themselves. Is this true? And if it is how is it possible?
Different Guy
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You mean loose your virginity without having intercourse? I was wonderin bout that, I mean surely something can do the job better than a real penis
Yes, it certainly is true.
What makes a woman a virgin is the thin membrane (hymen)inside the vagina. Once the hymen is broken, her virginity is gone. This can occur in certain types of accidents where there is trauma to the area. If a woman were to insert something into her vagina, such as a dildo or other phallic-shaped object, it would cause the hymen to burst.
Still, there are the few women who go to the doctor and have the hymen punctured. I've heard this is done in cases where the hymen is thicker than usual and normal intercourse is extremely painful.
But, yes, a woman can "deflower" herself quite easily.
What makes a woman a virgin is the thin membrane (hymen)inside the vagina. Once the hymen is broken, her virginity is gone. This can occur in certain types of accidents where there is trauma to the area. If a woman were to insert something into her vagina, such as a dildo or other phallic-shaped object, it would cause the hymen to burst.
Still, there are the few women who go to the doctor and have the hymen punctured. I've heard this is done in cases where the hymen is thicker than usual and normal intercourse is extremely painful.
But, yes, a woman can "deflower" herself quite easily.
I was a gymnast for 6 years, and after a particularly gruelling day of splits and beam work, I found some blood in my leotard. I told my mom, and she knew that my hymen had broken. No big deal. Anything can break the hymen, from gymnastics to horse-backriding, to even using a tampon, depending on the position of the hymen (how far up it is)
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Emerald_eyed said:
I would agree with you, but I was one of those gals who did her own "deflowering". Didn't really know what the heck I was doing, had no idea of what a hymen was, etc. I was very sexual - I can remember masturbating on a regular basis from the time I was 12. I soon discovered that there was this little hole that things fit into rather nicely, and it felt good. One day, I got a little over eager (can't even remember what the heck it was now!), and the next thing I knew there was blood all over the place. I'd thought I'd hurt myself, but I didn't feel any pain. Then I'd thought I'd started my period, but the bleeding didn't continue. I was so scared, I never told my mother.
So, I would say most of the time, it would be something done more by accident than on purpose.
alphacat
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Mmm...
Dammit, that's a great mental image, Jabo69. God....
BTW, being "deflowered" doesn't always cause bleeding... I know mine certainly didn't, or I'd know when it had happened!
(Probably some time when I was enjoying myself like Sexy Chele here )
Dammit, that's a great mental image, Jabo69. God....
BTW, being "deflowered" doesn't always cause bleeding... I know mine certainly didn't, or I'd know when it had happened!
(Probably some time when I was enjoying myself like Sexy Chele here )
Monazwx
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Deflowering
Girls can deflower themselves like SexyChele did, but I think that losing your virginity is as much as a mental thing as it is physical. The cherry may pop, but if it was by a rape, molestation, etc. I wouldn't classify that as a 'deflowering'.
I wouldn't suggest deflowering oneself, just so that there's no evidence at the first time. The guy won't mind, esp. since he would be your first. That's what his dick is for!
Jaco69, that exceptionally long tongue thing is totally gross. (Why is it turning me on?!)
Girls can deflower themselves like SexyChele did, but I think that losing your virginity is as much as a mental thing as it is physical. The cherry may pop, but if it was by a rape, molestation, etc. I wouldn't classify that as a 'deflowering'.
I wouldn't suggest deflowering oneself, just so that there's no evidence at the first time. The guy won't mind, esp. since he would be your first. That's what his dick is for!
Jaco69, that exceptionally long tongue thing is totally gross. (Why is it turning me on?!)
virginleo20
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Not really
Being a virgin has nothing to do with a piece of tissue... its merely a matter of not having had intercourse...
You go to the specifics of that and figure out your own standard for what you consider to be virgin but i figure any exchange of bodily fluids in which one has a choice in that may result in the transmition of an STD
not involving medical operations or such could be considered a loss of virginity.
In other words no you can not lose your virginity to your self...
And to those whom go on about the hymen and such ... well there are women whom are born without one.... whom have never had intercourse... what are they then considered.
think about it for a while.
Being a virgin has nothing to do with a piece of tissue... its merely a matter of not having had intercourse...
You go to the specifics of that and figure out your own standard for what you consider to be virgin but i figure any exchange of bodily fluids in which one has a choice in that may result in the transmition of an STD
not involving medical operations or such could be considered a loss of virginity.
In other words no you can not lose your virginity to your self...
And to those whom go on about the hymen and such ... well there are women whom are born without one.... whom have never had intercourse... what are they then considered.
think about it for a while
.Re: Not really
Okay....so by your reasoning, a woman who has never had intercourse before is raped, and the man did not ejaculate inside of her, so she is still a virgin. (The idea of man raping a woman and not experiencing orgasm is extremely common, btw)
I doubt you would find many people who would go along with that reasoning.
As for women being born without a hymen, yes, it does happen. But you did not state the statistics as to how common that is. Just as my example of a woman who has a hymen that is thicker than "normal", I would presume being born without one is equally rare.
When I tore through the hymen, I did not say to myself, "Well, I'm no longer a virgin." Quite the reverse. I still considered myself a virgin. I did this somewhere around the age of 12 or 13. I didn't experience actual intercourse until I was 18 - and that is when I tell people I "lost" my virginity.
The problem I see with the logic you have given is that it would work well for a man. But the reverse is not true for a woman. A woman can be fully penetrated without a man orgasming within her.
But perhaps I'm reading what you have written incorrectly. If so, I do apologize.
virginleo20 said:Being a virgin has nothing to do with a piece of tissue... its merely a matter of not having had intercourse...
You go to the specifics of that and figure out your own standard for what you consider to be virgin but i figure any exchange of bodily fluids in which one has a choice in that may result in the transmition of an STD
not involving medical operations or such could be considered a loss of virginity.
In other words no you can not lose your virginity to your self...
And to those whom go on about the hymen and such ... well there are women whom are born without one.... whom have never had intercourse... what are they then considered.
think about it for a while
Okay....so by your reasoning, a woman who has never had intercourse before is raped, and the man did not ejaculate inside of her, so she is still a virgin. (The idea of man raping a woman and not experiencing orgasm is extremely common, btw)
I doubt you would find many people who would go along with that reasoning.
As for women being born without a hymen, yes, it does happen. But you did not state the statistics as to how common that is. Just as my example of a woman who has a hymen that is thicker than "normal", I would presume being born without one is equally rare.
When I tore through the hymen, I did not say to myself, "Well, I'm no longer a virgin." Quite the reverse. I still considered myself a virgin. I did this somewhere around the age of 12 or 13. I didn't experience actual intercourse until I was 18 - and that is when I tell people I "lost" my virginity.
The problem I see with the logic you have given is that it would work well for a man. But the reverse is not true for a woman. A woman can be fully penetrated without a man orgasming within her.
But perhaps I'm reading what you have written incorrectly. If so, I do apologize.
CurlyGirly
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Losing Hymen vs. Losing Virginity
There's a really interesting conversation about this in the movie "Chasing Amy" where a lesbian is defending herself saying that she's not a virgin, just because she hasn't had sex with a man. So there can be many different takes on what is technically considered "losing your virginity".
As for myself, I was a virgin until college. I lost my hymen my senior year in high school. After a really awful pain in my lower extremities caused me to go to the emergency room, the doctors performed a pelvic exam. Suddenly there was blood everywhere, and my mother was standing right there by my side holding my hand. I freaked out, but my mom (who's a nurse) explained that my hymen had just broken. Do I consider the ER docs the ones who took my virginity? I don't think so.
My first experience was rape later that year, and sadly I do consider that to be the time when I lost my virginity. I wonder why this seems to be a more traumatizing time for women, and something to celebrate with men. I guess that's the whole gender double standard that will probably never go away. Or I could be totally offbase. I'd be interested to hear a male's take on virginity.
There's a really interesting conversation about this in the movie "Chasing Amy" where a lesbian is defending herself saying that she's not a virgin, just because she hasn't had sex with a man. So there can be many different takes on what is technically considered "losing your virginity".
As for myself, I was a virgin until college. I lost my hymen my senior year in high school. After a really awful pain in my lower extremities caused me to go to the emergency room, the doctors performed a pelvic exam. Suddenly there was blood everywhere, and my mother was standing right there by my side holding my hand. I freaked out, but my mom (who's a nurse) explained that my hymen had just broken. Do I consider the ER docs the ones who took my virginity? I don't think so.
My first experience was rape later that year, and sadly I do consider that to be the time when I lost my virginity. I wonder why this seems to be a more traumatizing time for women, and something to celebrate with men. I guess that's the whole gender double standard that will probably never go away. Or I could be totally offbase. I'd be interested to hear a male's take on virginity.
huskie
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My first experience was rape later that year, and sadly I do consider that to be the time when I lost my virginity. I wonder why this seems to be a more traumatizing time for women, and something to celebrate with men. I guess that's the whole gender double standard that will probably never go away. Or I could be totally offbase. I'd be interested to hear a male's take on virginity
Curly
Not only do I think you are wrong!!! God I hope and pray you are!!! I am so sorry this happened to you. You (nor any girl in this world) ever, EVER did anything to diserve it. As a guy I could not dream of it and to this day can't see how a guy would go as far as to do this to someone. Again I'm sorry and I hope you can look and live past this........
huskie (whom believes sex aint no good if you aint pleasing your partner)
Curly
Not only do I think you are wrong!!! God I hope and pray you are!!! I am so sorry this happened to you. You (nor any girl in this world) ever, EVER did anything to diserve it. As a guy I could not dream of it and to this day can't see how a guy would go as far as to do this to someone. Again I'm sorry and I hope you can look and live past this........
huskie (whom believes sex aint no good if you aint pleasing your partner)
alphacat
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I'm very sorry about what happened to you, CurlyGirly. That is really terrible.
But I do have to say that a lot of what makes one a virgin is mental - I do think that you can consider yourself not a virgin even if you haven't been penetrated by a penis. I think that that's a too rigid (no pun intended) definition of sex. Even before the first time I had sex with a guy (which was a very pleasureable experiance that I don't regret at all), I didn't think of myself as a virgin because I'd had sex with a girl already. I do think that lesbian sex counts as losing one's virginity.
But I do have to say that a lot of what makes one a virgin is mental - I do think that you can consider yourself not a virgin even if you haven't been penetrated by a penis. I think that that's a too rigid (no pun intended) definition of sex. Even before the first time I had sex with a guy (which was a very pleasureable experiance that I don't regret at all), I didn't think of myself as a virgin because I'd had sex with a girl already. I do think that lesbian sex counts as losing one's virginity.
CurlyGirly
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well thanks to both of you for your encouraging words. *sends out hugs to ya both*
Well my first time with a woman was infinitely better than the first time with a man. The words "mind-blowing" come to mind. So that's usually what I think about when I think about "losing my virginity".
My favorite line about virginity is, "I thought I was saving myself for marriage, turned out I was just saving myself for college."
*sends out hugs to ya both*Well my first time with a woman was infinitely better than the first time with a man. The words "mind-blowing" come to mind. So that's usually what I think about when I think about "losing my virginity".
My favorite line about virginity is, "I thought I was saving myself for marriage, turned out I was just saving myself for college."
CurlyGirly
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Feel free to use it anytime you like.
virginleo20
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Sexychele
"But perhaps I'm reading what you have written incorrectly. If so, I do apologize"
Well your reasoning was somewhat "on the money" but what i meant was regardless of gender the loss of ones virginity should only be considered as being that when both parties fully consent to the act of intercourse... regardless of the gender of ones partner and one self...
Someone having been raped etc... well the people whom have had to endure such horible things should be shown the deepest of sympathy...
And like i said regardless of gender...
Well as to me pointing out that there are women whom are born without hymens... that was just to point out that a piece of tissue like that is no measure of ones level of sexual experience...
or lack there of.
And just to point out that one does not have to reach orgasm
to transmit/ recieve STDs and a lack of an orgasm does not mean that bodily fluids were not exchanged... so on and so on...
you get the picture...
But then again its just my oppinion i could be wrong...
"But perhaps I'm reading what you have written incorrectly. If so, I do apologize"
Well your reasoning was somewhat "on the money" but what i meant was regardless of gender the loss of ones virginity should only be considered as being that when both parties fully consent to the act of intercourse... regardless of the gender of ones partner and one self...
Someone having been raped etc... well the people whom have had to endure such horible things should be shown the deepest of sympathy...
And like i said regardless of gender...
Well as to me pointing out that there are women whom are born without hymens... that was just to point out that a piece of tissue like that is no measure of ones level of sexual experience...
or lack there of.
And just to point out that one does not have to reach orgasm
to transmit/ recieve STDs and a lack of an orgasm does not mean that bodily fluids were not exchanged... so on and so on...
you get the picture...
But then again its just my oppinion i could be wrong...
Re: Sexychele
Okay, in regards to the first paragraph - obviously a virgin will not have any sexual experience. However, I've known women who were married for years and never experienced an orgasm nor had much knowledge of they bodies sexually. Now, a woman who has been engaging in sexual activity with her husband for 10 or 15 years can certainly not go around claiming to be a virgin. True? She may lack experience and knowledge, but she is no longer a virgin. (and no, I'm not basing this on orgasm. choose any other sexual activity if you prefer)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, boy!!! When did I ever state that STDs could only be transmitted with orgasm?? How did we go from "who's a virgin" to "how to contract an STD"???? And, see, your idea of lack of orgasm not transmitting bodily fluids indicates that you are looking at this through a man's eyes. Obviously, as a female, I know this already?
I think what bothers me, if that's the correct word, about this logic that "it's up to the mind of the individual" as to whether they are a virgin, means that I, after more than 20 years of sexual "experience" might still say - "yeah, I'm a virgin" - simply because it is what I "feel". I could simply state that I don't have that much sexual experience/knowledge, so therefore, I must still be a virgin.
For people who place a high priority on viriginity, something usually dictates what that is and when it ends. For women it has historically been the determination of the hymen. I know a lot of people don't like to hear that, but it's true. (Why do so many "first time" stories include the breaking of the hymen if it isn't so important?) But, as I indicated, technically I broke my own hymen, yet I did consider myself a virgin until I had intercourse with a man 5 years later.
virginleo20 said:
Okay, in regards to the first paragraph - obviously a virgin will not have any sexual experience. However, I've known women who were married for years and never experienced an orgasm nor had much knowledge of they bodies sexually. Now, a woman who has been engaging in sexual activity with her husband for 10 or 15 years can certainly not go around claiming to be a virgin. True? She may lack experience and knowledge, but she is no longer a virgin. (and no, I'm not basing this on orgasm. choose any other sexual activity if you prefer)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, boy!!! When did I ever state that STDs could only be transmitted with orgasm?? How did we go from "who's a virgin" to "how to contract an STD"???? And, see, your idea of lack of orgasm not transmitting bodily fluids indicates that you are looking at this through a man's eyes. Obviously, as a female, I know this already?
I think what bothers me, if that's the correct word, about this logic that "it's up to the mind of the individual" as to whether they are a virgin, means that I, after more than 20 years of sexual "experience" might still say - "yeah, I'm a virgin" - simply because it is what I "feel". I could simply state that I don't have that much sexual experience/knowledge, so therefore, I must still be a virgin.
For people who place a high priority on viriginity, something usually dictates what that is and when it ends. For women it has historically been the determination of the hymen. I know a lot of people don't like to hear that, but it's true. (Why do so many "first time" stories include the breaking of the hymen if it isn't so important?) But, as I indicated, technically I broke my own hymen, yet I did consider myself a virgin until I had intercourse with a man 5 years later.
virginleo20
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Sexychele
Well i merely pointed it out since you started going on about orgasms in rape... etc etc... In relation to other sexual activity...
so i wanted to point out that one does not need to orgasm to have had sexual intercourse and to have to deal with the consecuences of such... and again thats regardless of gender...
I did NOT state that it was up to the mind of the individual that
they could decide that they were a virgin or not i merely stated that the loss of virginity should only be counted as such if both parties have agreed to have sex... so someone whom is raped etc
again REGARDLESS OF GENDER could consider them selves as virgin...
Mind you that men can be raped by women
men can be raped by men
Just as well as women by men and women by women...
And again you shouldnt analyse what i say by some historically based bias
but rather try to think of it as an educated evaluation of possible situations...
as i pointed out what would you consider a women whom has been born without a hymen and has never had sex...
if you consider the hymen to be the indication of the state of virginity.
My definition of virginity is only a matter of if a person has had consentual intercourse and i mention again that its regardless of gender... and has nothing to do with orgasms.
And what someone has writen in a story about his/ her definitions of virginity and breaking hymens shouldnt realy be taken as an overall oppinion of a majority... just think about all of the sickening stories out there..... shivers...
It could be that the only reason the person is writin the virginity story is because he/she has a "hymen fetish"
Well i merely pointed it out since you started going on about orgasms in rape... etc etc... In relation to other sexual activity...
so i wanted to point out that one does not need to orgasm to have had sexual intercourse and to have to deal with the consecuences of such... and again thats regardless of gender...
I did NOT state that it was up to the mind of the individual that
they could decide that they were a virgin or not i merely stated that the loss of virginity should only be counted as such if both parties have agreed to have sex... so someone whom is raped etc
again REGARDLESS OF GENDER could consider them selves as virgin...
Mind you that men can be raped by women
men can be raped by men
Just as well as women by men and women by women...
And again you shouldnt analyse what i say by some historically based bias
but rather try to think of it as an educated evaluation of possible situations...
as i pointed out what would you consider a women whom has been born without a hymen and has never had sex...
if you consider the hymen to be the indication of the state of virginity.
My definition of virginity is only a matter of if a person has had consentual intercourse and i mention again that its regardless of gender... and has nothing to do with orgasms.
And what someone has writen in a story about his/ her definitions of virginity and breaking hymens shouldnt realy be taken as an overall oppinion of a majority... just think about all of the sickening stories out there..... shivers...
It could be that the only reason the person is writin the virginity story is because he/she has a "hymen fetish"
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