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Richard49 said:I have been reading a lot about BDSM D/s not
having to be sexual.
OK......
give me a defintion of sex
and I would prefer it not be the Clinton
if it's not vaginal intercourse
it is not sex
catalina_francisco said:I fully agree with the previous posting. Anything and everything can be considered sex. It really all depends on the people involved.
Sex is a very personal thing it depends on the definition of the people involved. The line between sexual and sex is almost invisible.
Caning, whipping receiving or giving pain could be considered by some not to be sex while others would disagree. Sex is what you yourself define it to be, not what others tell you. It is only possible to define it for yourself not for others.
For me sex is almost anything I do with my SO. Even a drive together through the woods I consider sex. Sex is not always cumming although it often leads to it. It is more often than not leading to penetration but not always. It is almost anything we do together.
As an example we could look at whores. The acts they are being paid to do would be considered by most as being sex. But if you talk with most prostitutes I am sure they will say that the only time they have sex is with their partner.
This makes it simply said impossible to define sex for anyone but yourself.
Being myself active in the Lifestyle for about 9 years and being the dominant part of a TPE 24/7 relationship I fully disagree with the idea that BDSM does not need to be sexual. Everything I do, everything we have in our relationship has at the minimum a sexual undertone. I simply can not comprehend how you could disconnect sex, sexuality out of a TPE 24/7 BDSM relationship. However I also know that BDSM is what you make out of it yourself so I suppose that there must be people out there that can do it.
F.
Richard49 said:Seems to me that if I do something to someone
or someone does something to me
that brings sexual excitment
it is sex
weather anyone orgasm or not
if she makes me dinner as a sub
and that action excits me sexually
it is sex
I just can not see D/s that is not sex
buit then I am not Bill Clinton
catalina_francisco said:You are correct that sex in an established relationship is completely different than that of a beginning one.
People who are in a loving relationship with a steady partner tend to forget that there are relationships in which the roles between the partners are completely different.
In my wilder days I used to hunt for my pleasures in the pool of available women in clubs. In those days I have made women cum by whipping, by humiliation, by control, by power, and yes also by vaginal, anal and oral penetration and stimulation. Although it is not for me to answer for my previous sex partners I am sure that they went home thinking they’d had sex. Sex is not a physical state but a mental one. F.
catalina_francisco said:<snip>Why is it that some persons get sexually aroused by trees or by eating shit or by licking the sole of women’s shoes? Fetish is for a part at least considering the unusual as sexually exciting, and yes for a part, that can mean having “sex” with things or people in a way that would not be considered by the majority as having sex.
When I take my whip and I whip my SO and the blood slowly drips from her back she might cum without me touching her. Does that mean that we have had no sex, just because there was no conventional intercourse or penetration?
In my wilder days I used to hunt for my pleasures in the pool of available women in clubs. In those days I have made women cum by whipping, by humiliation, by control, by power, and yes also by vaginal, anal and oral penetration and stimulation. Although it is not for me to answer for my previous sex partners I am sure that they went home thinking they’d had sex. Sex is not a physical state but a mental one.
F.
We, collectively, make easy and quick reference to 'vanilla', but it seems the topic of defining 'sex' is unusually elusive. Sex is absolutely anything that anyone possibly wants it to be at any given time in any given way - alrighty then.