Deep Thoughts

[JohnnySavage]

Several years ago my dog knocked me down (which is better than him knocking me up) and dislocated my shoulder. I banged it (my shoulder, not the dog) back in place, and for these past years it's always hurt a bit and I've had limited range of motion.

Lately though my shoulder hurts like a mofo. Hurts like a hot poker up the pooper. Hurts like all getout. Hurts... well, it hurts and you get the point. I've thought about going to the doctor, but I don't care much for doctors. They are generally self-absorbed egomaniacs. Fuck em. The whole, "Call me Doctor!" hissy fit they throw annoys me. And let's face it, they cure very little and are mostly chemical salespeople for the pharmaceutical industry.

...I lost my train of thought. Was the point of the story my shoulder or what douche bags doctors are?

I don't know either. Maybe I'll tell the monkey story again. Later maybe.

 

[butters]

get the goddamned shoulder checked out, silly. if it's bad now, it'll be lots worse as you get older. sort it out, you're not a baby!

 

[angeleyes612]

I have an infection in the bone of my foot and it is slowly chipping away the bone. My doctor told me since they can't figure out how it happened or how to fix it the only option is amputation when it gets to the point I can no longer walk. That hardly seems like they know what the fuck they are doing. I hate doctors and their quick fix with no regard for the person suffering from the affliction. Although I did get a number to a doctor that was given to me by a co worker tonight that may be able to help me so going to try that.

 

[RobDownSouth]

Shoulder dislocations are a real pain. I dislocated mine way back in 1992. Could never do a proper military/shoulder press afterwards.

I've found the prescription drug celebrex is fantastic for increasing range of motion.

 

[pointless]

just cut the fucker off. it's not like you really need two arms anyway. also, you can donate all the blood you'll lose to the red cross and you can give the arm to like your dog or the neighbors for soup or something so that's two good deeds in one.

 

[JohnnySavage]

What's the point of going to a doctor? He's going (or she - that was a genderist error on my part) to tell me I dislocated my shoulder. I already know that. I was there when it happened.



Here's another thought:

I wear contacts. I get those ones you wear for a month, then throw out. But I'm both cheap and lazy, so I typically wear a pair until I can't see anymore. Until it's like having potato chips (crisps for you Brits) on my eyeballs. Until it looks foggy out 24/7. Then I throw them out and put in another pair. My eye doctor gives me six-months worth and then requires me to come in for an exam before renewing my prescription.

Of course, that six month supply lasts me about a year and a half.

Well, I've been wearing my last pair of the latest stock since my birthday last November. I hate the thought of getting an eye exam. You have to drive over there. Then sit and wait for his Lordship the doctor. Then answer a bunch of stupid questions and try to figure out "is it better here, or here?"

The old contacts were just fine. Give me six more packs of the same thing and we can part as friends. No need for you to irritate me, and then for me to call you a douche.

I'd like to get the lasik, but I'm a bit worried about someone shooting laser beams into my eyes.

 

[JohnnySavage]

just cut the fucker off. it's not like you really need two arms anyway. also, you can donate all the blood you'll lose to the red cross and you can give the arm to like your dog or the neighbors for soup or something so that's two good deeds in one.

Interestingly enough, the Red Cross won't take my blood because I lived in Europe in the early 80s. They think I'm tainted.

 

[kbate]

If the shoulder hurts years later - you probably damaged a tendon or ligament and *gasp* age and arthritis are now taking their toll.

I have a similar problem resulting from dislocation and other unspecified damage caused by the occasional fall from misbegotten nags. As soon as I finish a few projects, I plan to see the ortho and get an MRI to find out if I have repairable damage or if I have *gasp* age and arthritis as factors making the pain chronic.

If you've got insurance, you're being a fool if you don't get the MRI.

I also cannot give blood because I lived in Greece, Turkey, and various places in Africa. You see? You should take my advice.

 

[parodyluvr75]

See a chiropractor. No drugs. Feel better.

 

[pointless]

just lie to the picky fuckers.

 

[Laurel]

I've been thinking that maybe it's not that Gen Y is any more mediocre than previous generations. There are many many bright, hardworking people in that age group, and they have access to more tools/knowledge than any generation previously. What I think is that for whatever reason, the mediocre segment of Gen Y feels like they are entitled to everything that achievers receive without having to ever put out much effort or have any special skills.

I read something to the effect of that on an article comment written by a Gen Yer. I'm paraphrasing, but it was like, "They tell you that you should go after your dreams, but they don't tell you that means working at some shitty job for years! Or that you have to have super good grades and test scores!" They apparently heard the "You can do anything..." part without "...if you put enough hard work and effort into it, and have the talent, and luck."

So, yes. That's all I have.

 

[SalviaDivinorum]

 

[Tryharder62]

If it hurts like a hot poker up the pooper then I am wondering if you are compressing a nerve. Don't ask me how I know that.

 

[trysail]

Here's a story for you—

a couple of years ago, I developed shoulder pain ( not entirely surprising after a lifetime of football, basketball, wrestling, lacrosse, flinging baseballs, serving tennis balls, planting ski poles, vaulting down companionway hatches and general athletic abuse). It was bad. The damn thing hurt so much I couldn't sleep on it. Being a true tough guy, I pursued the "tough guy" cure (rest fixes everything). Wrong.


The only thing I succeeded in doing was freezing the shoulder. I'm thinking rotator cuff and major surgery. Now truly desperate, I finally gave in and went to see an orthopod. At this point, things were so bad that if the doc had said, "We gotta cut," I would have said, "Good. When?"


Much to my surprise, the doc diagnoses something I'd never heard of before: shoulder impingement— and prescribes physical therapy.


Now I'm a skeptical guy and I'd never had physical therapy before. I'm embarrassed to admit I equated it with snake oil, quacks and chiropractors. But, what the hell? I've paid cold, hard-earned cash for this advice; I might as well follow it.


To my absolute amazement, it worked. Six weeks of twice-weekly sessions of strengthening exercises and electro-stimulation solved the problem. Among other things, I learned that the shoulder joint is unbelievably complicated. Many think of it as a ball-and-joint-socket like the hip joint. 'tain't so. There's only a shallow depression and the whole thing is held in place by an extremely complex web of muscle and tendon. Aging and muscle atrophy can wreak havoc. In my case, strengthening worked wonders.


The moral of the story: consult a doc. Things may not be as bad as you think and the solution may be well worth the price.

 

[trysail]

I've been thinking that maybe it's not that Gen Y is any more mediocre than previous generations. There are many many bright, hardworking people in that age group, and they have access to more tools/knowledge than any generation previously. What I think is that for whatever reason, the mediocre segment of Gen Y feels like they are entitled to everything that achievers receive without having to ever put out much effort or have any special skills.

I read something to the effect of that on an article comment written by a Gen Yer. I'm paraphrasing, but it was like, "They tell you that you should go after your dreams, but they don't tell you that means working at some shitty job for years! Or that you have to have super good grades and test scores!" They apparently heard the "You can do anything..." part without "...if you put enough hard work and effort into it, and have the talent, and luck."

So, yes. That's all I have.

My god; you've turned into a (gasp) conservative whilst still a mere chronological adolescent ! You're quite precocious.

 

[Laurel]

Uh, no.

 

[BotanyBoy]

 

[pointless]

everyone's an asshole when they're young.

 

[Laurel]

and when they're old, too.

 

[pointless]

true. also, the older you get the bitchier you get. it's what makes life worth living.

 

[Laurel]

Yes. I'm always out there yelling at the stupid kids, "Get off my lawn!" And I don't even have a lawn.

 

[JohnnySavage]

I was thinking about contributing another Deep Thought to this thread, but I think I'll take a nap instead.

 

[Laurel]

You still haven't taken your nap? Shame on you! Get to napping!

 

[JohnnySavage]

You still haven't taken your nap? Shame on you! Get to napping!

I'm having a hard time napping because the neighbor is getting a new driveway and I'm just busting at the seams to put on my tool belt and heading over there. I do enjoy driving the bobcat.

 

[Laurel]

Me too! My neighbors when I was a kid had a bobcat and my friend and I would take turns driving it around.

But naps are pretty awesome.