Decorum versus Candor

[riff]

I have been coming to lit for a while. I've experienced elation and complete rage and the shades between.

Which is more important in your (you, gentle reader) eyes?

Honesty and candor?
Politeness?
Decorum
or the Details?

On one hand people talk about how liberating it is to speak freely here. On the other hand, if you speak too freely then comes the crush.

What is that all about.

This is not a nightclub. It is not your livingroom.

 

[Eumenides]

I think people can be honest with a certain amount of decorum. It is my opinion that if you cannot, then it shouldn't be posted. But I'm a pacifist at heart, and live in an ideal world. *shrugs*

 

[KillerMuffin]

I like people who understand no.

Candor is good. Decorum is interchangable with culture. If I burp here, I'm wrong. If I don't burp in Ulan Bator, I'm wrong. Since we live in this trememdously international atmosphere, honesty and candor are more likely to be understood where decorum can actually be insulting.

And that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

 

[riff]

I think people can be honest with a certain amount of decorum. It is my opinion that if you cannot, then it shouldn't be posted. But I'm a pacifist at heart, and live in an ideal world. *shrugs*

If you cannot be honest with a certain amount of decorum, then it should not be posted? This is your meaning?

But what happens when honesty interferes with decorum? Which is more important?

 

[Lancecastor]

This is not a nightclub. It is not your livingroom.

 

[Eumenides]

If you cannot be honest with a certain amount of decorum, then it should not be posted? This is your meaning?

But what happens when honesty interferes with decorum? Which is more important?

Depends on the situation. I try to live by the credo that if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. However, there are times when those pesky little exceptions do come up. Even then, I think that some people here (and elsewhere) think that the need for honesty is justification for really hurting someone.

 

[riff]

I like people who understand no.

Candor is good. Decorum is interchangable with culture. If I burp here, I'm wrong. If I don't burp in Ulan Bator, I'm wrong. Since we live in this trememdously international atmosphere, honesty and candor are more likely to be understood where decorum can actually be insulting.

And that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Your personal feelings? Without intellectualization?

 

[riff]

Re: Re: Decorum versus Candor

Nooooo... that's "This ain't no party, this ain't no disco..."

 

[intrigued]

I have been coming to lit for a while. I've experienced elation and complete rage and the shades between.

Which is more important in your (you, gentle reader) eyes?

Honesty and candor?
Politeness?
Decorum
or the Details?

On one hand people talk about how liberating it is to speak freely here. On the other hand, if you speak too freely then comes the crush.

What is that all about.

This is not a nightclub. It is not your livingroom.

I think its possible to be all the above.

And some will be crushed no matter, thats just the way it is. All it takes is for someone to not *like* you.

 

[riff]

Depends on the situation. I try to live by the credo that if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. However, there are times when those pesky little exceptions do come up. Even then, I think that some people here (and elsewhere) think that the need for honesty is justification for really hurting someone.

I try. I fail miserably. I let little things go by until I want to dissert that a "spade is a spade is a spade."

I get torn. I get torn between wanting to be this "Live and let live" person and at the same time wanting to warn people that this best of all possible worlds is not all cocoa puffs and marshmellows. Does it count when an asshole like myself says, hey, there are asholes out there?

 

[Eumenides]

I try. I fail miserably. I let little things go by until I want to dissert that a "spade is a spade is a spade."

I get torn. I get torn between wanting to be this "Live and let live" person and at the same time wanting to warn people that this best of all possible worlds is not all cocoa puffs and marshmellows. Does it count when an asshole like myself says, hey, there are asholes out there?

I think that it is always a struggle. Sometimes you have to be stronger than your wants. How many posts have I written and erased? Many. Because I really don't want to be seen as a person who can't hold her tongue. I'm just sorry that you see yourself as an asshole.

 

[Agent99]

Contrary to popular belief, honesty, candor and courtesy do not need to be mutually exclusive. They can thrive in any situation: both on the internet and away from the computer.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Your personal feelings? Without intellectualization?

Nevermind.

 

[calypso_21]

Contrary to popular belief, honesty, candor and courtesy do not need to be mutually exclusive. They can thrive in any situation: both on the internet and away from the computer.

You and I share similar beliefs on this subject.

 

[Lancecastor]

Re: Re: Re: Decorum versus Candor

Nooooo... that's "This ain't no party, this ain't no disco..."

...this aint no foolin around.

Sorry....but when I saw your line, the song popped into my head.

[/hijack]

 

[riff]

I have non-posted a shitload of invectives, rails, and indictments and erased them. Pity, too. Some were actually good. But the only reason I did it was for the sake of decorum. I never felt free to express myself in the way that so many people here say things like "Wow, I can be so open and honest here."

Do you for a minute believe that delusion? Being open on this board is like cutting your wrist and jumping into a pool of sharks. AND THEY LOVE IT.

 

[riff]

Contrary to popular belief, honesty, candor and courtesy do not need to be mutually exclusive. They can thrive in any situation: both on the internet and away from the computer.

Tell us about it.

 

[Agent99]

You and I share similar beliefs on this subject.

I've noticed that on quite a few occasions!

 

[intrigued]

I have non-posted a shitload of invectives, rails, and indictments and erased them. Pity, too. Some were actually good. But the only reason I did it was for the sake of decorum. I never felt free to express myself in the way that so many people here say things like "Wow, I can be so open and honest here."

Do you for a minute believe that delusion? Being open on this board is like cutting your wrist and jumping into a pool of sharks. AND THEY LOVE IT.

I share these feelings.

 

[riff]

I share these feelings.

Just telling it like it is.

 

[juicylips]

I never felt free to express myself in the way that so many people here say things like "Wow, I can be so open and honest here."

Do you for a minute believe that delusion? Being open on this board is like cutting your wrist and jumping into a pool of sharks. AND THEY LOVE IT.

I did delude myself for a time. But when you find yourself editing time after time, you realize that "freedom of speech" doesn't really exist. Well...let's just say it's not exactly "free".

So I choose not to cut my wrist and bleed all over the board. There are no easy answers here, riff. You have to be comfortable with how you express yourself.

 

[intrigued]

I did delude myself for a time. But when you find yourself editing time after time, you realize that "freedom of speech" doesn't really exist. Well...let's just say it's not exactly "free".

So I choose not to cut my wrist and bleed all over the board. There are no easy answers here, riff. You have to be comfortable with how you express yourself.

Damn, this says it so well.


And thank you for your permission.

 

[juicylips]

Damn, this says it so well.


And thank you for your permission.

You're so very welcome, peaches.

 

[hiddenself]

yes, but...

"decorum" by whose standards?

 

[badasschick]

I enjoy healthy debate, even if I feel they're a jackass....






'Cause you know I love to win!