Decoding Help Please!

[R. Richard]

This is a key paragraph in a news story I read today. It is the first paragraph in the story which deals with the actions that led to the arrest. I challenge anyone to decode what the paragraph says without looking up the entire story. If you can decode it, please tell me how. TIA.

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Manning was arrested early Sunday after he allegedly hit a man in the face along with four or five companions at a Denny's restaurant in the Westwood section of Los Angeles, said officer Mike Lopez, a spokesman for the Los Angeles Police Department.

 

[TheEarl]

This is a key paragraph in a news story I read today. It is the first paragraph in the story which deals with the actions that led to the arrest. I challenge anyone to decode what the paragraph says without looking up the entire story. If you can decode it, please tell me how. TIA.

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Manning was arrested early Sunday after he allegedly hit a man in the face along with four or five companions at a Denny's restaurant in the Westwood section of Los Angeles, said officer Mike Lopez, a spokesman for the Los Angeles Police Department.

I'm going to react just like I'm editing.

(This sentence appears to be trying to convey too many ideas in too short a space. There's at least two sentences here, possibly three and you definitely need to tidy up the clauses. Try reading it out loud and working out which bits relate to each other. Below is how I'd split it)

Manning was arrested early Sunday (comma) after he (and four or five other companions) allegedly hit a man in the face (full stop) (The incident took place) along with four or five companions at a Denny's restaurant in the Westwood section of Los Angeles, said officer Mike Lopez, a spokesman for the Los Angeles Police Department.

Good god, how'd that sentence ever get past an editor?

The Earl

 

[R. Richard]

I'm going to react just like I'm editing.

(This sentence appears to be trying to convey too many ideas in too short a space. There's at least two sentences here, possibly three and you definitely need to tidy up the clauses. Try reading it out loud and working out which bits relate to each other. Below is how I'd split it)

Manning was arrested early Sunday (comma) after he (and four or five other companions) allegedly hit a man in the face (full stop) (The incident took place) along with four or five companions at a Denny's restaurant in the Westwood section of Los Angeles, said officer Mike Lopez, a spokesman for the Los Angeles Police Department.

Good god, how'd that sentence ever get past an editor?

The Earl

You ask: "Good god, how'd that sentence ever get past an editor?"

I am more concerned with the person [???] who wrote the sentence. My theory is that said person has two heads, neither of which is functional! My second thoery is that his dog did not eat his homework, the dog wrote the paragraph.

 

[Liar]

Crystal clear.

The cop Lopez says that Manning allgedly was in a posse that beat up a dude at a Denny's on Sunday.

That's the only way I can read it.

 

[R. Richard]

Crystal clear.

The cop Lopez says that Manning allgedly was in a posse that beat up a dude at a Denny's on Sunday.

That's the only way I can read it.

I believe that it is also practical to read it that Manning beat up a dude and the dude's posse.

JMHO.

 

[Liar]

I believe that it is also practical to read it that Manning beat up a dude and the dude's posse.

Yeah. But is he, like, Chuck Norris or something?

 

[R. Richard]

Yeah. But is he, like, Chuck Norris or something?

Actually [I looked it up] Manning is 5 feet 8.5 inches and 185 pounds. He is actually shorter than average, but a bit heavier. Since he is a good enough cornerback to be drafted by the Carolina Panthers, it is safe to assume that he is fairly strong.

I got the following from another news item: "According to his attorney, Manning was leaving an off-campus restaurant and bar when older, bigger men who tried to pick a fight inside the eatery approached him and his friends. Davis said Manning was attacked and he defended himself."

It appears that Manning had his posse and the other guy also had a posse. I am guessing that Manning's posse probably consisted of some UCLA football players. I am also guessing that the other guy's posse did not want to mess with the UCLA football players. I am guessing that Manning and the guy he allegedly hit were engaged in single combat. However, it is not possible IMNTHO to get the info from what was written.

I am leaning more and more to the theory that the cop's dog, augmented by years of eating homework and learning by digestion, wrote the paragraph. However, that last is just a theory!

 

[Boxlicker101]

This is a key paragraph in a news story I read today. It is the first paragraph in the story which deals with the actions that led to the arrest. I challenge anyone to decode what the paragraph says without looking up the entire story. If you can decode it, please tell me how. TIA.

=========================================================
Manning was arrested early Sunday after he allegedly hit a man in the face along with four or five companions at a Denny's restaurant in the Westwood section of Los Angeles, said officer Mike Lopez, a spokesman for the Los Angeles Police Department.

It sounds to me as if Manning and four or five companions simultaneously hit a man in the face. The man must have a really big face for that to happen.

 

[oggbashan]

As the father of a Chief Reporter, I would be inclined to blame the sub-editor or the compositor for that paragraph.

Reporters are taught how to write. Once their story is submitted, others wreck it.

Or maybe I'm just biased.

Og

 

[R. Richard]

Actually, I blame the system for the paragraph. We fund an educational system that turns out people who write incomprehensible trash. Said trash is then edited by semi-illiterates and reviewed by other by semi-illiterates. The result is then published.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Actually, I blame the system for the paragraph. We fund an educational system that turns out people who write incomprehensible trash. Said trash is then edited by semi-illiterates and reviewed by other by semi-illiterates. The result is then published.

I am inclined to agree. I don't believe English composition is even taught any more at most high schools. I could have written a better paragraph than that when I was in elementary school and I would wager that many here could say the same thing.

 

[Liar]

Reporters are taught how to write. Once their story is submitted, others wreck it.

Or maybe I'm just biased.

As a former editor, I'd like to say: Yes, you are. I spent my days correcting mayhem grammar and downright poor spelling from renowned, educated reporters and journalists. They submitted really great stories, dramatic, witty, all that jazz, but shot full of stuff like that line above.

It could be that the tradition is different in the UK, but my experience is that reporters make articles interresting, editors make articles readable.

My guess it that the text in that article is the result of downsizing. I've seen it here in a lot of morning papers. They fire the editors and tell the reporters to get a grip on their language instead. Which they do. A little bit. But far from enough. Also, direct-to-web stuff rarely passes through a language check.