Death In A Story

[ttrfanatic]

I have a story where one of my characters is killed during the act of sex. The death is accidental though. I was wondering what the thought is about this. I have had some people read the story (not published yet) and there seems to be a mixed feeling. And just to give you a little more detail - the sex is definitely consensual between adults but one of the participants goes a little too far and the other is asphyxiated.

Some think its actually a good twist to the story while others find it shocking (for lack of a better word). I know that the story is erotica but the death actually plays a higher purpose in the story and actually sets the tone for the story (later chapters) to come. The story isn't just written as a stroke story but definitely has stroke material in it.

And yes I understand that I'm walking a thin line with the storyline since there is death involved in a sex scene and with that being said I'm not sure I'll publish it here on Literotica because of that.

Just wanted to get some other opinions on the topic. Thanks!

 

[sr71plt]

Opinion about what? Whether it will be accepted here? The way to find that out is to submit it. (I have several stories involving death during sex that flew right through to posting here without question.) Whether it will be popular with readers? Maybe, maybe not. But if it's what you think serves the story best, why change it? It's one story. It's the way you wrote it and wanted it. If your primary goal is to get high ratings and glowing comments, (A) polling a few people for their general opinion isn't going to get you an accurate gauge and (B) you'll find yourself writing pabulum. Do you want to be a writer or a marketeer?

As noted, it's one story. What matters is what you want to write. If it gets posted and you yourself decide later it was not what you wanted to write, you can just delete it. It's just one story.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

To be safe stick to an Authorized Brady Bunch Plot.

 

[49greg]

I think you should give it a try. Why not, I've seen stories (not here thought) where a death is humorous. Why not part of an erotic story? Unless you go to far and the body gets 'used' after death, well, that would just be poor taste. If it passes scrutiny and gets posted why not.

Of course if you post in Loving Wives you're going to get panned anyway ... although ... some of those sickos that comment on LW might just like it. Hmmm, have to think about that, might need to try that some day.

 

[StrangeLife]

There is plenty of killing going on here at Lit.

Often as part of revenge stories of course, but I've read several fine tales where a participant kicked the bucket in the bedroom. Hell, I've even written one myself and the deaths in that one were far from accidental. It was approved without remarks.

I think approval has a lot to with the exact circumstances of the death and whether it can be interpreted as promoting real-world criminal behaviour. But that is only an assumption on my part, based on the fact that "Murder" is on the list of illegal tags while "Killing" is not. Ultimately you can only find out by submitting your story to the mercy of the higher powers of Lit.

Looking forward to reading it when it comes up

 

[slyc_willie]

Reposting something Laurel recently stated in another thread. This should help.

These things are tricky. I tend to be more lenient when a scene is in the service of a plot. Movies often have horrific scenes where a man's family is killed in front of him, but it's done so to horrify the viewer and to show character motivation (revenge). This is different from scenes which are put there for no other reason than with the expectation that the reader will be thrilled to watch another human being suffer/be disfigured/be killed.

It's very hard to get these things right when you have 100-200 stories to get through a day. I'll admit mistakes are made. I basically try to get a feel for the story and go from there. More literary/plot-driven stuff will get a pass. Death and disfigurement written for a sexual thrill will not.

As far as sexualized violence for non-plot-motivation reasons goes - some women (and men) enjoy reading about rough, sometimes even degrading sex. My guideline generally is that if I feel a reader with that kink could enjoy placing themselves as the recipient of the sexual roughness, then it's postable. If it's a fantasy written as an aggressor-fantasy with no regard for the recipient, then I may send it back to the author, who can then send it back to me with reasons why I'm wrong - and they're sometimes right.

Things that are never okay: graphic and explicit castration, mutilation, and murder for the purposes of sexual titillation.

If you read something on the site that feels squicky to you, please do report it using the REPORT THIS STORY feature. And please be specific. If it's a 20-page story and you report it with, "Snuff!" or "Too rough!" but don't say where or why, it will take longer for me to check.

 

[ttrfanatic]

Thanks for all the replies so far. To address a couple of things. I wasn't necessarily looking for whether or not I should post it but after reading the replies so far I think I will definitely submit it and see what happens.

I guess it surprised me that I had such a mixed reaction from my beta readers up to this point. Maybe I should take that as a compliment. I know the original post may have seemed like I was looking for approval for the scene but I was just asking to see what other authors thought of it.

The one comment that I got from a beta reader that made me really think was, "Okay the sex scene is good but wow, the ending? I mean this is basically for people to masturbate to, right? You really want her to die?"

And I know my answer should have been "Yes - it's essential to the story and it's more than just a masturbation story although I know some will not see it that way." But it just gave me pause to think about it really. And I really do applaud the reader for making me think about the story more.

So taking sr71plt's reply to heart, yes I like the way I write and would like others to as well but it's not the reason I write. I think sometimes I have to stop and remember that.

So after all is said and done, my real reason for posting is just to get a discussion going about death in a story - especially during a sex scene and what others really thought if it. I know that the opinions will be varying and from one spectrum to the other but I was curious as to what people thought.

 

[slyc_willie]

The one comment that I got from a beta reader that made me really think was, "Okay the sex scene is good but wow, the ending? I mean this is basically for people to masturbate to, right? You really want her to die?"

And I know my answer should have been "Yes - it's essential to the story and it's more than just a masturbation story although I know some will not see it that way." But it just gave me pause to think about it really. And I really do applaud the reader for making me think about the story more.

I think an assumption that a lot of people make is that a story posted to an erotica website needs to be, first and foremost, about sex. It is written for the express purpose of giving readers sexual titillation.

Well . . . yes and no. That doesn't have to be the case. It often is, but it's not a requirement. I have stories on this site that are definitely "sex stories." But I also have ones that are "stories that include sex" and they include other things as well, such as murder, torture, suicide, tragic loss and other topics that normally don't elicit sexual responses from a reader. But those stories aren't about the sex. They just happen to have sex in them.

 

[lovecraft68]

Although I understand your explanation I can see where some may think this could fall under snuff.

But true "snuff" would be the partner deliberately doing that. But many readers may not understand.

You may just have to gamble.

Oh, and from what I have recently learned the sex of the victim may matter

 

[sr71plt]

Discussion of death in a story. Well, OK.

I've used an off-stage death in stories to provide the twist ending. For instance, I have a story where the protag flounces out of the house and goes on a "resenting the sugar daddy" sexual binge, with the story helping the reader to think the sugar daddy has thrown him out or been unfaithful--to find out at the end that the sugar daddy has died on him and the protag is mourning the loss in resentment of suddenly being "deserted."

I've used on-stage deaths the same way that I and every other mystery mainstream writer use them--to serve the story plot. I write a lot of erotic mysteries. Many mysteries are based on a murder or two or eight. I don't see why erotica should shy away from what the mainstream deals with. (e.g., my Clint Folsom "Death in . . ." series)

I use death by "the ultimate fuck" in a couple of horror series--a monster, in one series, and a vampire, in another series, needing to suck the victim dry through the sex act for their own sustenance. These have posted here without question. The "victim" hasn't always been happy at the beginning, but usually becomes happy with the ultimate fuck by one device or other before he expires.

In the same vein, I use "death by the ultimate fuck" in more literary stories using the well-established concept of the orgasm being the ultimate death--la petite mort (a little death). Google it and you'll find a lot of discussion about it. I often use it as a blind that helps the reader think the receiver is really dying, only to find that it's just an ultimate fuck--la petite mort. I've also dealt with la petite mort as really leading to death (good to keep the readers on their toes).

I've never (so far) had trouble getting death passed here in a story. And some of the deaths have been quite gruesome and achieved during sex. When they are achieved during sex, though, the "victim" is usually depicted as accepting it as the ultimate fuck (most the time--and in the main stories. I have side plots where the victim doesn't at all approve of being fucked to death).

All of this is done on TV and in the mainstream without any of this second guessing.

 

[lovecraft68]

Horror or NH/ which ever tends to get away with more, I think because it all has more of a fantasy aspect to it.

In a story I have since removed I had the female character orgasm as she slit the throats of several men.

I was surprised it went through, but the woman was a Witch and it was in the middle of an occult ritual with some supernatural aspects involved. So I always felt that may have pushed it through.

That and she was not engaged in sex of any kind with the men might have made a difference as well.

 

[DeYaKen]

Death in the story

The main point of my story, Recycling Day was death. Lit published it some other sites refused. It seems that for some sites canes across the breast or a good flogging is fine but a smack in the mouth isn't. No such problem here on Lit.

 

[MSTarot]

http://www.literotica.com/s/dark-as-day killed just about the whole family.

http://www.literotica.com/s/lord-of-devils-night had the main character have sex with a fire. He wasn't dead by the end but he wasn't coming back either.

http://www.literotica.com/s/southern-comfort-3 loving wife killed husband and all their friends then went and had sex.

http://www.literotica.com/s/the-perfect-perfume a sex apocalypse caused by a flower.

http://www.literotica.com/s/december-2012 and here I killed the world.


So yeah death does work in a story. Funny thing is next to LaRascasse I go easy on my character. I think he killed just about all of them.

 

[TxRad]

How about killing everyone in the story off at one time.

Powers

 

[StrangeLife]

How about killing everyone in the story off at one time.

Powers

Originally I thought I was bad for killing off 17 people in short succession but I think you have me beat.

Sounds like an interesting story too - are you planning a serial or was it a one shot?


---- Edit----

Just noticed your foreword....

Death to all laptop thieves :caning:

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Nothing new...I have a story were the husband kills the wife, people over in Loving Wives seemed to love it.

 

[TxRad]

Originally I thought I was bad for killing off 17 people in short succession but I think you have me beat.

Sounds like an interesting story too - are you planning a serial or was it a one shot?


---- Edit----

Just noticed your foreword....

Death to all laptop thieves :caning:

I've recreated a good bit of the first four chapters of the novel but it's slow rowing. It never seem as good the second time around.

Nothing new...I have a story were the husband kills the wife, people over in Loving Wives seemed to love it.

I did the opposite, the wife killed the husband. You could hear the screams all the way across the board.

 

[49greg]

This isn't really in the spirit of this thread about Death, but I just finished another Terry Pratchett "discworld' novel, and I have to say that "DEATH", the character in the story is one neat character. I think he's one of my favorite so far in the series. (I've only read four of the series). It is certainly a different take on death.,

 

[hoo_hoo_boo]

I don't know- I've had enough death in my life. I don't look to read it. There's no joy. It's sad. There are better ways to surprise. Better ways to shock. There is no bravado in it, only hurt.

Michael Hutchence of InXS died in a similar way- a waste, stupid, cruel- with one question to be dealt with- why?

There was a guy up for murder last year. I don't know what the judgement was. It was his second time. Two dead. Why?

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I don't know- I've had enough death in my life. I don't look to read it. There's no joy. It's sad. There are better ways to surprise. Better ways to shock. There is no bravado in it, only hurt.

Michael Hutchence of InXS died in a similar way- a waste, stupid, cruel- with one question to be dealt with- why?

There was a guy up for murder last year. I don't know what the judgement was. It was his second time. Two dead. Why?

Unfortunately, I, as a writer of military science fiction deal with death and near death scenes in my work all the time. Death is a part of life, especially if you are in the military. Or a cop. Or a firefighter.

As for why do people kill people, one always wonders that, yet the answer has escaped us for thousands of year.

 

[hoo_hoo_boo]

Unfortunately, I, as a writer of military science fiction deal with death and near death scenes in my work all the time. Death is a part of life, especially if you are in the military. Or a cop. Or a firefighter.

As for why do people kill people, one always wonders that, yet the answer has escaped us for thousands of year.

Yes, but gratuitous death? snuff, fun, plastic bags....?

 

[DeYaKen]

I don't know- I've had enough death in my life. I don't look to read it. There's no joy. It's sad. There are better ways to surprise. Better ways to shock. There is no bravado in it, only hurt.

Michael Hutchence of InXS died in a similar way- a waste, stupid, cruel- with one question to be dealt with- why?

There was a guy up for murder last year. I don't know what the judgement was. It was his second time. Two dead. Why?

You don't have to use death as a way to shock and surprise. The death doesn't have to be violent.

Death is an essential part of life and we would be failing if we didn't deal with it. How someone deals with the death of a loved one can be sad but very moving. The thoughts of a dying person can be very joyful.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Yes, but gratuitous death? snuff, fun, plastic bags....?

No, but in my novel Winds of Change I had people killing young women just because they knew a secret that "they" didn't want to get out. Never really told the reader about the death at the time of the death, but did have a medical examiner tell the Sheriff the cause of death.

Not horrific, but there were killings, the young women and others. One of the women fought back, had a gun and shot her assailant, twice. Once when he was already down.

But snuff for snuff sake, no.

 

[hoo_hoo_boo]

You don't have to use death as a way to shock and surprise. The death doesn't have to be violent.

Death is an essential part of life and we would be failing if we didn't deal with it. How someone deals with the death of a loved one can be sad but very moving. The thoughts of a dying person can be very joyful.

Yes- it is necessary to deal with death. It is important. But to glorify or popularise snuff and that ilk is terrible. I have been with many dying people. It was my job. It can be very moving and often, once the hopelessness of continued life is realised, it can be beautiful. This isn't gratuitous death.

This is life and its progression. To write snuff to titillate, surprise and shock is inadequate in the context.

 

[hoo_hoo_boo]

But snuff for snuff sake, no.[/QUOTE]

Thank you.