Dear X

[SaraBaras]

Dear Flu/Virus/Whomever the Fuck You Are:

Please, would you please just fuck off? I put up with you over Christmas weekend. You ruined my entire New Year's. Now you've returned for what assuredly feels like Round Three. The aches you cause are not delicious; the sleepless nights you've created have not been ones of pleasure. My voice is taken in hoarseness and not in ecstasy. I can no longer feed your sadistic fantasies and am on my knees begging for mercy.

As you are viral I have no masochistic responses at my disposal. For that I do apologize.

Please leave.

Signed:

S

 

[curvyangel1969]

Dear eyes

Please stop burning. I know I wasn't particularly kind to you today by inserting foreign objects in you for the first time but get over it. It's part of "aging gracefully".

Signed me

 

[ydahecnot]

Me,

The previous is a lesson not to wait until the middle of a sentence to start paying attention.

Me

 

[lowphat]

Dear X,

I miss you on the boards, flirting with me, and generally being a great friend. Please return soon, and more often . . . .

 

[Apple_of_Eden]

Dear X,
Your message was confusing and left me perplexed.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Dear X,
I hope you're ok.
I miss you.

Me.

 

[ydahecnot]

Dear X,
You message was confusing and left me perplexed.

Sorry, too much cough syrup

 

[Apple_of_Eden]

Dear X's,

Me too you.

...and cherry flavored please.

 

[ydahecnot]

And none of that Walgreens label rock gut. Vicks all the way!

 

[Apple_of_Eden]

Dear X,
go all the way, make it NyQuil PM

 

[ydahecnot]

X,

I mentally snipped after "way."

X

 

[Apple_of_Eden]

X,

I mentally snipped after "way."

X

Dear X,
Too cute.
I won't tell you where I "mentally snipped"!

 

[ydahecnot]

X,

Certain parts of my body are trying to retract.

X

 

[Apple_of_Eden]

Dear X,
You can "retract" but you can not hide! *sinister laugh*

 

[Suz_anne]

Dear X,

Um, no we have not.

 

[beachbaby179]

Dear almost-X,

Soon. Very soon. No longer do I feel like I'm taking two steps back for every one I take forward.

Waiting to be Just Me

 

[ydahecnot]

X

Equals

X

 

[jameslewis]

Dear slow driver who wouldn't move out of the fast lane:

Instead of yelling and cursing you - I wrote you a song. Hope you enjoy it.

And now, the end is near.
I thought this trip might last forever.
My friend, I’ll say it clear;
Your scrawny neck, I’d like to sever.
For I drive well,
But I drive fast
on each, and every highway,
Until today, in your Chevrolet,
you got in my way.

I was rushed; I left too late.
A deadline loomed; my calm was shaken.
If I had only known my fate,
A different route I would have taken.
“I’ll make up time”, I told myself
“When I get out onto the highway.”
But you, in your old car,
You got in my way.

When cars stacked up, I knew I’d blown it.
You treat this road as if you owned it.
“You’re such an ass”, that’s what I thought.
To turn a road, to a parking lot.
Show some respect, and share the highway
You, there in your car
Get out of my way.

Signed: Good to get it off my chest

 

[Hornblende]

Dear X,

I'm kind of surprised to see you back here, after what you did to her.

Surprised at you Litster

 

[afriendg]

Dear X,
I was never anything but good to you,
and this is how you repay my kindness?
Signed,
The Sadder but Wiser Gal

 

[numeniusa]

Dear Canada,

I'm leaving today. It's been wonderful, just wonderful. Your country, the little I've seen of it, is incredibly beautiful, both the natural bits and the parts you've built. I have really enjoyed your reverence and continuing respect for your First Nations (and I'm sorry for my countryfolk's part in their depletion due to diseases we brought with us ). I have basked in the warmth of your friendly welcome, and winced at some of your prices I have giggled at your weird plastic money, in the full knowledge that ours is going the same way, and smiled in appreciation of our common tendency to almost excessive politeness and courtesy. You seem very at peace with yourselves, confident, modern, secure in your place in the world. I think I might be just a little bit in love with you...

Kisses,

Numi

P.S. Please look after my young relative and her man in their new lives here. I know you will...

 

[ydahecnot]

Dear Canada,

I'm leaving today. It's been wonderful, just wonderful. Your country, the little I've seen of it, is incredibly beautiful, both the natural bits and the parts you've built. I have really enjoyed your reverence and continuing respect for your First Nations (and I'm sorry for my countryfolk's part in their depletion due to diseases we brought with us ). I have basked in the warmth of your friendly welcome, and winced at some of your prices I have giggled at your weird plastic money, in the full knowledge that ours is going the same way, and smiled in appreciation of our common tendency to almost excessive politeness and courtesy. You seem very at peace with yourselves, confident, modern, secure in your place in the world. I think I might be just a little bit in love with you...and your Mounties

Kisses,

Numi

P.S. Please look after my young relative and her man in their new lives here. I know you will...

Fixing your oversight

 

[done_got_old]

Dear X
Please include your gender in your profile!
Thanks

 

[iamincognito45]

Dear X
Please include your gender in your profile!
Thanks

Dear Thanks,

Look again!

Signed - Just messing with you...

 

[makemewet69]

Dear asshole Litster,
You know who you are because you obviously have a guilty conscience. Apology not accepted. You're a douche who did something extremely douchey in turn causing a loss of trust and respect.

You're a dick. I know it and if you contact me again, everyone will know it.

Signed,
I pretty much loathe you