Dear X:

[CrimsonMaiden]

Dear central nervous system,

Stop fucking with me every time I go somewhere!


Me

 

[Just-Legal]

Dear body

Why? just... why? Haven't I been through enough?

 

[Katyusha]

Dear Shoulder,

Please, for the love of god, untwist yourself, uninflame yourself, do whatever you have to do to stop hurting so badly that you burn. I'd really like to be able to sleep tonight.

Sincerely,
Me

 

[Guest]

Dear Medicine Gods:

Please work.

'KThanks.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Dear skin,

Please stop itching when I go to bed at night. I would like to fall asleep before the next coming of christ.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Dear Clitoris,

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

 

[cloudy]

Dear Obnoxious Dumbass Neighbors,

Our puppy knew nothing about digging under the fence till your fucked up dog started it.

Your had-enough-shit-for-the-day neighbor

************

Dear Cat,

SHUT THE FUCK UP. I can't even go into the kitchen without you following me in there and then crying the entire time I'm in the room. It's not like you just ate or anything. You're fat as a fucking hog.

Don't push me - I already hate you, and you wouldn't even be here if my dumbass husband hadn't brought you home without asking.

~ Cloudy

************

To my darling son,

Just SHUT THE FUCK UP...at least for little while. I understand one of the obnoxious neighbor kids is over here taking advantage of you and your video games again, but if you holler one more time, I'm going to go ballistic, and the game console's chances of surviving are nil.

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH.

Mama.

************

Dear husband,

Supper is on the stove, help yourself.

Do. Not. Start. With. Me. Tonight.

~ Cloudy

 

[fieryjen]

Dear Clitoris,

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Can I hear the story behind that one?

In other news, didya get my last email hon?

 

[Nirvanadragones]

. . .

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

Dear X,

You are the most beautiful and enchanting woman I have ever known. I fall in love with you over and over again, seeing in you an ever-shifting magnetism that draws me to you. I am compelled by your textures and I always will be.

LA

 

[Lady_Guenivere]

Dear X,

You are the most beautiful and enchanting woman I have ever known. I fall in love with you over and over again, seeing in you an ever-shifting magnetism that draws me to you. I am compelled by your textures and I always will be.

LA

Wow...what a beautiful thing to say to someone. One lucky woman to be on the receiving end of that!

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

Wow...what a beautiful thing to say to someone. One lucky woman to be on the receiving end of that!

Merci beaucoup, Lady G.

 

[Alexandra1979]

Dear Queen Bitch,

Cut it out!

 

[Alexandra1979]

Dear Lover,

I really need to get laid, preferably tonight.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Dear David,

Stop being such a lazy prick and do your job for once.

Dear Jen,

Your Jekyll and Hyde act is getting really old. Just when I think that you're a halfway pleasant and sensible girl after all, you pull a stunt like that. Typical. It's really grating, like nails on a chalkboard.

 

[crvygirl]

Dear A ~

I miss you. But it is not in a painful way. It is more like what I imagine is felt by those who lose part of their bodies, and later feel phantom sensations. You put yourself in my life so gracefully, effortlessly, really - and so fully - that your absence is ever noted. I still reach for your voice in my mind, to tell you things. My days are filled to overflowing, with people who love me, and challenges, and all sorts of important STUFF...and yet the place you would be stands empty. No, that's not it. I feel your presence, still. What is missing is the warmth and intensity of our interaction.

Simply put - my life is better when you are more fully in it.

~ Curvy

 

[ottohauser1977]

Dear Ex....

Yesterday reminded me of why we're divorced. Take a hint. I don't want you back. While I'm glad that you're finally assuming some responsibility for the end of our marriage, instead of blaming it solely on me, it's not enough.

Sincerely,
Your Sane Ex-Husband

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Dear Universe,

Please stop trying to get in the way of my workouts. I will solidify my schedule, and work out on a regular basis, even if I have to destroy God.

Threateningly,

Me.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Dear everyone who needs it:

I leave you gentle and warm hugs and hope there is peace and joy in your day.

Love,

~ Magica

 

[Lady_Guenivere]

Dear Daughter,

I am not an evil person. I don't want to ruin your life or give you any reason to hate me. I need to provide you with all the tools you will need to become a strong, healthy, independant woman...and sometimes that means that I will have to say no to you.

Deal with it.

One day you will thank me.

I love you with all my heart even though somedays I have to WILL myself to like you.

Love,

Mom

(Side note: Can someone here please reassure me that this will eventually PASS.)

 

[MagicaPractica]

Dear Daughter,

I am not an evil person. I don't want to ruin your life or give you any reason to hate me. I need to provide you with all the tools you will need to become a strong, healthy, independant woman...and sometimes that means that I will have to say no to you.

Deal with it.

One day you will thank me.

I love you with all my heart even though somedays I have to WILL myself to like you.

Love,

Mom

(Side note: Can someone here please reassure me that this will eventually PASS.)

Dear Guenivere,

I remember hating my mother as a teenager but I couldn't love her more these days. Just keep doing what you're doing and loving her. When she grows up a bit and the chemicals aren't so volatile, there will be more of a chance to talk as adults and for a lasting and deep friendship.

Sincerely,

Magica

 

[vella_ms]

Dear Clitoris,

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Dear SB
This is the best Dear X: ever.
Huge smiles,
v~

Dear P and B,
I can't tell you how much I appreciate your welcome and gentle persuasion. Maybe one day, I'll be able to do something with a penis. But I know you'll wait until I make up my mind.

What is really cool is that you don't expect another time and neither do I. I respect you and feel the same in return.

Thank you for the marathon of pleasure.

v~

 

[crvygirl]

Dear everyone who needs it:

I leave you gentle and warm hugs and hope there is peace and joy in your day.

Love,

~ Magica

Dear Magica ~

Right back at you, beautiful. You have a golden spirit.

~ Curvy

 

[jayce1066]

Dear X,

Once you've know her as long as I have, you may be saying "whatever" out of the other side of your mouth.

j

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Dear X,

You're as dumb as a brick, aren't you?