Dear X:

[Tarakin]

Dear teacher who teaches 5th hour in my classroom,

Seriously. It's not that much to ask that your class not leave my classroom in complete disarray. I cannot be expected to straighten every single fucking desk every day before 6th hour starts. You could just ask your students to do it, but you don't.

Similarly, you could ask your students to keep their fucking hands off my calculators, tardy cards and similar paraphernalia that I need to still be in order when I return to teach 6th hour in my room. It would also be lovely if there wasn't a mess of chips and candy and puddles of pop on the floor every fucking day. The room looks like it was hit by a tornado.

I asked you to pay some attention to this, but your only reply was that "it happens". No shit it happens. You're supposed to at least try to get it to stop happening. You're too fucking lazy to manage your own class, and it's bothering me. My bunch of kids are supposed to be much worse than yours, yet I have a relatively firm grip on what they do under my supervision. I get the feeling that you don't care because it's not your shit, but you'd raise hell and high water if I ever hinted in that direction.

Really though, is it so much to ask that you at least unplug the overhead projector and return it to its original position after you're finished using it? Could you also pull the screen back up? Is it that fucking much to ask that you leave things the way you found them? In case you weren't aware, I need to be ready to start teaching right as the bell rings, and I don't have half an hour to spend to clean up after you every day. My 6th hour students are grossed out as they enter the room, and so am I.

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but you suck at classroom management as well as basic politeness.

Regards,

Mrs B.

I know this teacher. The time he's not in your school, I know exactly where he is. Monday, 8th hour.

 

[CeriseNoire]

Dear X,

Je t'aime. I promise to say it more often.
By the way, my mom is so looking forward to meeting you. I think she has been for almost 3 years now.

Thanks for your friendship first, and then your love. And thank you for forgiving me my temporary loss of judgment.


Me
----

Dear Jen and Tarakin,
I totally know that teacher as well. He/she is is half the reason I haven't moved back up to high school. Here I don't have to share

*hugs*

 

[fieryjen]

Dear You-Know-Who-You-Are,

First off, beginning your PM with the words "This is not an unsolicited PM" doesn't make the PM any less unsolicited. It didn't bother me too much and still would have been perfectly fine - I might have answered your PM and thanked you for the compliment, as I usually do when someone PMs me to say something nice, and that would have been that.

However, when you sent me a second PM right away with some stroke story about "me" sucking your cock, they both went straight to the trash. Look, if I want to read porn, I'll pick my own story. The fact that I don't know you should tip you off that I don't give a flying fuck what it is that you want me to do to you and what kinds of fantasies you have. Contrary to what you may think, I don't wait on the computer all day for some guy I've never talked to online or off to woo me via PM.

Thank you and have a nice day,

Jen

 

[rgraham666]

Dear X,

You really are a REMF. My choices are to use up my living area to store my books or have them destroyed.

When I try to meet with you to discuss it you are unavailable until after the deadline.

If I could get my hands on you I would hurt you very, very badly. Not joking.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

Dear X

You epitomise the highest caliber of cunt.

Me.

 

[Edge23]

Dear A,

Look. Yes, I'm trying to be supportive to both you AND D, but that doesn't meant that I want to hear every little detail of your divorce. D already knows that, so you need to figure it out. He at least just TALKS to me and doesn't ASK me how to handle a situation. I haven't been through a divorce, so I don't know what to tell you. YOU are the one doing this, so YOU have to figure it out. I am NOT telling you how to get through this.
Maybe you should have thought this through a little more before deciding that you needed to get a divorce. I can't tell you how much D cares about you. You're letting that go, not me. Honestly, I don't want to be involved, but I like both of you, so I kinda am. Doesn't mean I need to hear everything.
Just keep that in mind.

E.

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

Dear X,

I imagine your eyes looking deeply into mine for a long time and then the kiss comes with such softness and desire.

LA

 

[Gizzmotick]

Dear neighbor.

I do not read the local publication which litters both of our driveways. However, I do not see fit to heave that publication into another yard. Instead, I calmly pick it up, and place it directly into my recycling bin, so that it can be of some value later on down the line.

I know that it is asking quite a bit, but could you please refrain from tossing your copy of our local publication into MY yard. It actually takes less effort to pick it up and place it into your own trash can than it does to heave it into my yard. Until you figure that out, I will keep chucking them all back when I mow my yard. Oh... and I will also chuck the beer bottles which fall out of your overflowing trashcan back into your yard as well.

That is all.

-G

 

[Trombonus]

Dear L,

Don't look at me like that. You knew damn well what you were doing when you chose to wear that shirt today. If you don't want people to stare at your cleavage, then don't wear shirts so revealing. Seriously, if you wear a shirt that clearly shows whether or not your wearing a bra when you simply glance at it, how can you not expect us guys to look?

Besides, what do you want from me. I'm a horny, and somewhat desperate guy. I can't help it!

How do you stay in that thing anyway? It's unfathomable to me that you can keep everything inside it like that.

C

 

[Edge23]

Dear Me,

You are SUCH a fucking moron. You are a WRITER, for the dear sweet love of Pete Rose! How could you mess up EXPLAINING yourself? You made her MAD because you couldn't put words together in the right order. Getting a fucking grip, jackass. Hopefully, MAYBE hopefully, she'll talk to you again. If she does, figure out what to say BEFORE you put your fingers to the keys.

E.

P.S. You are fucking hopeless.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Dear J,

you have no idea what you've fucked up, do you?

A

 

[glynndah]

Dear Dryer,

But I really, really, really liked those socks.

Sincerely,

The owner of one silky purple anklet.

 

[secretme]

Dear soon to be x,

Is it really necessary for you to make this so damn difficult? Do you need to whine and complain about how miserable I'm making you after you did such a tremendous job of fucking with my mind and life? If you really wanted me that much you would have treated me like it before now. Get over it. Move on. And leave me the hell alone.

your soon to be x

 

[DesertPirate]

Dear soon to be x,

Is it really necessary for you to make this so damn difficult? Do you need to whine and complain about how miserable I'm making you after you did such a tremendous job of fucking with my mind and life? If you really wanted me that much you would have treated me like it before now. Get over it. Move on. And leave me the hell alone.

your soon to be x

*Hugs*

 

[cloudy]

Dear X,

Please stop using the royal "we." It makes it damn near impossible for me to take anything you say at all seriously. In fact, it makes me snort.



Cloudy

 

[Tarakin]

Dear soon to be x,

Is it really necessary for you to make this so damn difficult? Do you need to whine and complain about how miserable I'm making you after you did such a tremendous job of fucking with my mind and life? If you really wanted me that much you would have treated me like it before now. Get over it. Move on. And leave me the hell alone.

your soon to be x

* Hugs *

 

[Gizzmotick]

Dear soon to be x,

Is it really necessary for you to make this so damn difficult? Do you need to whine and complain about how miserable I'm making you after you did such a tremendous job of fucking with my mind and life? If you really wanted me that much you would have treated me like it before now. Get over it. Move on. And leave me the hell alone.

your soon to be x

Hugs

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

Dear X,

If the world were at all as you imagine it to be, it would be a happy, easy place where no problems interfere with us. I wish the world were like you think it is. But, it damn well isn't. It's a complex quagmire filled with uncertainty, but sometimes there is a sunrise so beautiful that it makes all of that irrelevant. Maybe your way is better. I don't know.

 

[Shakti_Dreamer]

Dear X,

If you take away the lipstick and the nail gloss and the hair gel, would there be anything of you left?

Shakti

 

[MagicaPractica]

Dear Universe:

I really did hope that there was a reason and a purpose to the past few years. I had hope for a while but things are worse now in pretty much every way. I don't know what to do. You need to give me something to hold on to. I can't function like this.

~ M

 

[scheherazade_79]

Dear MJ,

I don't expect I need to tell you after today, but it's a really bad idea to fuck with two lesbians.

The local election map is turning yellow, and this is only the start. You cheated, you implied someone's sexual orientation was a reason not to vote for them, and you just got your arse kicked

 

[Bizkit_Writer]

S,

I am so proud. You realized you needed something done and you went and did it. I am damn proud. If I could ever meet you I'd give you a big hug and tell you that your a major inspiration to me.

D

 

[Edge23]

Dear niblet,

Please don't be mad at me still. You're one of my best friends. I can't lose you.

E.

 

[Lee Chambers]

Dear Self,

Don't want so long to put up the next chapter, jack ass.

Sincerely,
Lee

 

[glynndah]

Dear Ms. B;

Grade school principal is not a career you can do from the comfort of your own home. Stop lying to everyone. Show up when you say you're going to be here and stop forcing us to cover for you and do your job for you. We're all getting quite tired of it.

Oh, and while I'm on the subject, quit following me around talking and smiling at me. It's beginning to creep me out.

Sincerely,

The library-lunch lady