Dear X:

[Just-Legal]

Dear Siblings.

Fuck you very much and please don't allow yourselves to be in the same room with me. To say I am unhappy with you is being kind.

Your treatment of my wife and myself is accepted and understood. However your treatment of our parents is well beyond the pale.

The fact that our mother was in tears when she called me this morning, the fact that our father even commented on your actions in his E-Mail last night. These facts have angered me like you have never seen.

When I called you this afternoon and listened to your pathetic complaints and bitching I became a bit pissed off. When you both started trying to blame all of your problems on our parents and on myself I came to a decision, one that has been slowly growing in me for the past several years.

I am truly sorry it has come to this but as I informed the two of you, I no longer feel that I have siblings. (Then again when have I had siblings, other than when you needed something?)

May your lives be all that you expect of them, unfortunately I don't think they will.

Cat

*hugs* Cat

I want to hope they'll get the message, but I doubt it...

 

[SeaCat]

*hugs* Cat

I want to hope they'll get the message, but I doubt it...

JL,

They never will get the message until it's too late. Then they will kick and scream and complain about how life is so unfair.

I could dedicate an entire thread to my siblings and their kids, and people wouldn't believe it.

I have gotten to the point where I am waiting and watching for them to fall. I'm afraid to say that I will be watching them fall with a smile on my face. (So I'm evil.)

Cat

 

[Just-Legal]

JL,

They never will get the message until it's too late. Then they will kick and scream and complain about how life is so unfair.

I could dedicate an entire thread to my siblings and their kids, and people wouldn't believe it.

I have gotten to the point where I am waiting and watching for them to fall. I'm afraid to say that I will be watching them fall with a smile on my face. (So I'm evil.)

Cat

Nope, not evil.

((well maybe just a little but its counterbalanced by the whackloads of good you do))

 

[bluebell]

To the wee Darkling,

What's that I hear? Spare room? Decorating?
Woo! I'm so there. Of course I must issue a disclaimer about wallpaper: I don't think I'm gifted with those necessary skills.
I'd probably glue myself to the wall and I'm not entirely sure I would be the most, er, picturesque addition to your home.
You are such a fantastic little Darkling. Darling, too.


-Thingummywhatsit

----

Dear Cat,

I must agree with J-L. You're not evil, you're just...eagerly anticipating the satisfaction of cosmic justice.
There's a distinct difference between the two, right?
You're the gem. Sod them.
Or better yet, throw sod at them and then fall over laughing when they start chewing, hacking, and spitting out the dirt clods.
Yessir.

Warmest,

Bluebell

----

Cloudy,

Please continue to kick ass.

-A devotee and fan of your work

----

Chantily,

*hugs*
You deserve much. I hope the balance comes out in your favor very soon.
Like, now.

-B

 

[scheherazade_79]

Dear Old Man at Pedestrian Crossing,

When I stopped for you to cross today, there was no squeal of brakes. Furthermore, I'd come to a stop a good 5m from the actual crossing. You then waved your walking stick at me and told me I was in a 30mph speed limit. When I informed you very politely that because of the parked cars on either side, I was unable to do more than 20mph, you went spare at me, shook your walking stick with renewed aggression and told me that 50 metres before the crossing I'd been going a lot faster.

With your jamjar glasses it amazes me how you could have seen 10m up the road, let alone 50m. And for what it was worth, I'd only just turned onto that road, and not even my car is capable of that kind of acceleration.

Congratulations for making an absolute buffoon of yourself. I don't know if it's what you intended, but I drove away with the impression that you were senile. And what's more, you got my day off to a really unpleasant start I get pulled up for enough things I've actually done, without some white-haired toad fabricating stuff.

Next time you want to cross the road, try the M4 - preferably at night time, dressed in black.

Zade

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Dear...

Ouch, that hurt.

Me

----

Dear...

I know to stop trying means you'd be giving up, but I can't let you continue trying when the touch does nothing but make me cringe and make me want to beg you to stop.

Don't make me hurt you further. Please just accept this and let me go. Please. Please. Please.

Me


----

Dear...

Please forgive me. I feel so selfish and I know you will think I am. I hope and pray in time you'll forgive me.

Me

----

Dear...

Don't ask because I don't want to talk about it any more. Why be a repeating record? So don't ask because I really don't want to cry any more this week.

Me

 

[sutherngent985]

Dear...

Ouch, that hurt.

Me

----

Dear...

I know to stop trying means you'd be giving up, but I can't let you continue trying when the touch does nothing but make me cringe and make me want to beg you to stop.

Don't make me hurt you further. Please just accept this and let me go. Please. Please. Please.

Me


----

Dear...

Please forgive me. I feel so selfish and I know you will think I am. I hope and pray in time you'll forgive me.

Me

----

Dear...

Don't ask because I don't want to talk about it any more. Why be a repeating record? So don't ask because I really don't want to cry any more this week.

Me

x12

 

[cloudy]

Dear X,

Now what?

~ Cloudy

 

[SimpleGifts]

Dear ever-more-annoying colleague:

I've been tolerating the fact that I've been saving your ass by working on your projects because I know that you can't handle them on your own, and our firm needs the business. Fortunately, they have in general been interesting enough that I've actually been able to focus my attention on them to learn something new.

Unfortunately for you, you seem to have assumed a sense of entitlement about this situation. I agree that I am not always able to complete my part of the project exactly on time as planned, generally because you grossly underestimate the time needed, over-promise to the customer, fail to give me any indication of the scale and scope in advance, and give me the parts that are most complicated to handle. I WAS happy to help you out until you started to complain that I wasn't getting things done fast enough to suit you. Well, pardon me for not giving a rat's ass, because if you are so upset about how I do my work, why do you keep coming back to me again and again for my help, and keep telling me that you've got another project that only I can do?

So here's my suggestion. How about YOU write all of the damned reports yourself, and see how many clients we lose because you lack the capability and the competence to deliver on what you promise? And I'll go back to focusing on projects that actually matter.

Sounds good to me, how about you?

SG

 

[Nirvanadragones]

Dear Soul Candy

I'm continually amazed at what you bring to this relationship. Your level of care is so beautiful.

Words fail me, but - Thank You . . .

Vana
xxx

 

[Just-Legal]

To the wee Darkling,

What's that I hear? Spare room? Decorating?
Woo! I'm so there. Of course I must issue a disclaimer about wallpaper: I don't think I'm gifted with those necessary skills.
I'd probably glue myself to the wall and I'm not entirely sure I would be the most, er, picturesque addition to your home.
You are such a fantastic little Darkling. Darling, too.


-Thingummywhatsit

Dear Belle:

We're not having any wallpaper, I have the same problem you do.

The plan is as follows:

Clean kitchen and bathrooms (juuuuust in case)
Check condition of flooring/carpeting in all rooms
Smooth over ALL artex, everywhere. This is 3/4 of the house.
Paint bedroom and kitchen, possibly downstairs bathroom
Move into bedroom and kitchen
Paint living room, computer room, spare room
Move stuff into there
Rip out carpet in bathroom ONCE new floor has been chosen. When its a choice between carpets and bare, untreated floorboards, carpet wins by practicality.

Darkling.

--

Dear Red

*hugs*

J-L

 

[BonsaiBeauty]

Dear Helen,

I want you now. I want your body, your skin, your lips, your breasts. I want to touch all of you, to kiss you for hours and hours relentlessly, gently and then firmly, wetly, fully. Come to me. Lie with me upon the divan and let me stroke your inner thighs. Let me delight in the murmuring love cries you emit from your sweet lips.

BB

 

[Just-Legal]

Dear Helen,

I want you now. I want your body, your skin, your lips, your breasts. I want to touch all of you, to kiss you for hours and hours relentlessly, gently and then firmly, wetly, fully. Come to me. Lie with me upon the divan and let me stroke your inner thighs. Let me delight in the murmuring love cries you emit from your sweet lips.

BB

Dear BB

I'm fairly certain you don't mean me but for a sec I was going "but I don't know you!"

*giggles*

J-L - Also known as Helen

 

[Lee Chambers]

Dear Red,

*hugs*

Lee

 

[impressive]

Dear Soul Candy

I'm continually amazed at what you bring to this relationship. Your level of care is so beautiful.

Words fail me, but - Thank You . . .

Vana
xxx

Dear X:

I'm glad you found my reaction amusing. However, if you confuse/associate that particular bit of fluff with me again, you'll find out exactly how fast I can run -- and I guarantee you won't catch me.

*kissy kiss*

~ Imp

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Dear not so dear hubby,

What the hell kind of bug you got up your ass now? I'm getting exceedingly tired of the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde routine. Either shape up or get the hell out.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Dear Mrs. X

I know that you're busy and all, but you need to get control of your 12 year old son. He's a constant nuisance to everyone, and goes out of his way to be one. Everyone seems to know this, including you, but you still let him have his way. That's how criminals are created. I won't be surprised when I see his face on America's Most Wanted. And it will be YOUR FAULT!

Sincerely,
Your Neighbor

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Dear Former Co-Workers

I may soon return to you. If so, don't be shocked. I'm starting over....again. This time, I hope, will be the last time. I'm not the same guy as before, though. A little more sure of myself. And I no longer believe that it's cool to date my co-workers. So, and you know who you are, that's a no-go. Especially since you're married. It's strictly platonic this time.

On the plus side, I expect to have a different station this time and a different specialty. And more pay, so I'll be in a better mood. And I'll be married by that point, which should make things interesting, especially if my wife joins the staff. Hmm.....very fascinating.

Sincerely,
You Know Who

P.S. I must confess that you are a MILF and under different circumstances, I wouldn't hesitate to jump your bones. But under these, it would be wrong.

 

[Dontgiveup]

Dear him,

You set me on fire. You make me want things I shouldnt. I do not behave very well when I'm with you. And I know I should not have done that but I wanted nothing more than for you to see. I want you and her. For that i will burn in hell. He would never understand either.

Regards,

Me

 

[galaxygoddess]

dear boss:

Thanks, I needed that. Even if laughing did just inflame my headache even more ><

me

 

[RogueLurker]

Dear X,

If it isn't something you'd normally read, at least give it to someone who might appreciate it - just rip out the front signed page. I'll send the other stuff back and then I'll be done.

 

[Just-Legal]

Dear X,

If it isn't something you'd normally read, at least give it to someone who might appreciate it - just rip out the front signed page. I'll send the other stuff back and then I'll be done.

Dear Rogue:

Even if it wasn't something I'd normally read, if someone had taken the time to get it signed, I'd keep it. And if it was something *you* had written, I'd keep it too

*hugs*

 

[glynndah]

Dear tomcat, who shall remain nameless because we both know exactly who I'm talking to;

That was not very nice and completely uncalled for. That litter box was perfectly fine and you know it. That kitty is part of the family now. Deal with it. If you don't like her, you don't have to stare out the door and watch her for hours. She lives outside. You live inside, but that can change at any time. Just keep that up.

Sincerely,

The good little witch

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Dear life,

Honestly, I've had enough shit dropped on me to last several lifetimes. How about some roses every once in awhile?

 

[Just-Legal]

Dear life,

Honestly, I've had enough shit dropped on me to last several lifetimes. How about some roses every once in awhile?

Dear Crim:



Ad infinitum

Love,

JL