Dear X:

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Dear Pilots of Delta and American Airlines,

You don't know me, but I'm going to be on your planes this week. I'll be pale-faced, lightly freckled redhead, who is clutching the seat as if her life depends on it. I'll be the woman with the red lip because she's worried it to death and I'll be the one that probably talks the ear off of the person next to her, (side note... to that person that I sit beside... I'm sorry ahead of time for rambling on).

Pilots, please don't fly the plane drunk or on any type of medication that states... Don't operate heavy machinery while on it. I'd greatly appreciate it. I write erotica and I'm willing to trade you a fantasy story in exchange for you keeping me alive.

Thank you,
From the "trying to remain calm" RedHaired Chick.

 

[CeriseNoire]

Dear Self,

Please, please, please, don't be right about this. It's just a coincidence. You're not a freaking psychologist for crying out loud.

Thanks,
Cesise.

~~~~

Dear Red,

Relax, enjoy, and take it as an observation exercise. It could make for an interesting character study to imagine being the person sitting next to you. In other words, try to distract yourself.
Will be sending positive thoughts your way.

Cerise

 

[Just-Legal]

Dear T-

I'm sorry, baby. I know you were scared, and you didn't understand what was happening. It broke our hearts to see you struggle. I hope you knew how much we loved you and how difficult it was to learn that the kindest thing we could do for you was to let you go. You were with us nine years, some of which weren't good because of your previous experiences with humans, and the last few months were torturous because of your poor health. You were worth every moment. You became a good dog, and we'll miss you every day. So will B - she's been looking for you.
***

Dear B-

I think you knew that T was very ill. At the least, you knew that taunting him wasn't working anymore because he had difficulty seeing you, and he couldn't hear your tinkling ID tags. I'm sure you noticed he had stopped hounding you (sorry for the pun) when you least expected it, and that his breathing was labored. I know you realized this because you stopped batting him about the face playfully, and you sometimes stopped to touch noses with him. You had a nice inter-species family dynamic going on. I have to put his things away today, because he's not coming home. I can't bear to look at his things, and I don't want to confuse you. I promise to cuddle you even more than I have over the last 14 years. The vet even recommended tuna, which might not make you forget T, but it will most definitely distract you. Hang in there, Sweetcheeks.
***

Dear hubby,

I think that being emotional can occur outside of PMS. In fact I'm sure of it. You just happened to be an ass on the day I got my period. Your misogynistic assessment of my reaction to the dog's death and your insulting behavior that contributed (caused?) my bitchiness was not helpful. Lay off.
***
***

to you too love. And slap him if he's being insensitive.

 

[Vermilion]

Dear Jack of all trades

Stop being such a wanker. Either go write it yourself or advertise properly and pay someone a working wage to do it for you. Don't come on here saying you're 'serious' then getting all uppitty cos we dare to question your 'authority'.

Get a life.

And if you see this, then hell - at least you followed *one* of the suggestions made to you.

FNG

x
V

 

[FallingToFly]

Dear Jack of all trades

Stop being such a wanker. Either go write it yourself or advertise properly and pay someone a working wage to do it for you. Don't come on here saying you're 'serious' then getting all uppitty cos we dare to question your 'authority'.

Get a life.

And if you see this, then hell - at least you followed *one* of the suggestions made to you.

FNG

x
V

Dear Mili:

Sometimes newbs can't help it, which is why we have wonderful caring people like you to point them straight. It's tough being the only virgin on the block, especially when you have a dream, and no one appreciates it.

That aside- Jack, you're being a fuckwaffle. You had a chance to take a crack at a story I could easily finish out properly and sell (but have been too lazy to do so) with ease, and you decide to screw yourself. Your loss is a publisher's gain, I suppose.

 

[Vermilion]

Dear Mili:

Sometimes newbs can't help it, which is why we have wonderful caring people like you to point them straight. It's tough being the only virgin on the block, especially when you have a dream, and no one appreciates it.

That aside- Jack, you're being a fuckwaffle. You had a chance to take a crack at a story I could easily finish out properly and sell (but have been too lazy to do so) with ease, and you decide to screw yourself. Your loss is a publisher's gain, I suppose.

Dear FtF

a) why haven't we spoken in so long?

b) I *was* being wonderful and caring, wasn't I? Right up until the point where he really started to get on my tits

x
V

 

[FallingToFly]

Dear FtF

a) why haven't we spoken in so long?

b) I *was* being wonderful and caring, wasn't I? Right up until the point where he really started to get on my tits

x
V

Dear Mili:

a) Because my life is a fucking free fire zone for nutters.

b) You're a peach. Sweet, firm, juicy, succulent... erm.. nvm. Apparently, Jack isn't the only one on your tits.

*blushes and slinks away*

FtF

 

[Vermilion]

Dear Mili:

a) Because my life is a fucking free fire zone for nutters.

b) You're a peach. Sweet, firm, juicy, succulent... erm.. nvm. Apparently, Jack isn't the only one on your tits.

*blushes and slinks away*

FtF

bwah hah hah.

Nah, he doesn;t get *that* privilege either.

Cheeky sod shortened my name - and didn;t even do it right! Vermi, I ask you. Do I look like a small Italian worm?

x
V

ps- send the free firing nutters over here, we'll send 'em to go sit in a basement in Tewkesbury... at the very least their ammo will be unusuable...

 

[bluebell]

J-L,

Don't invite your sister over. I was just kidding. Although making a nice sandwich of her between the wall and the ironing board...
No, no, no. I will not be so rude.

I'm sorry to tell you that your nickname hasn't officially crystallized yet, though I was just thinking about Darkling. I hope that doesn't sound horrible to you, because the connotations are not horrible in my mind.
Anyway, we shall see.

Congratters again, lovely girl.

-B

 

[cloudy]

J-L,

Don't invite your sister over. I was just kidding. Although making a nice sandwich of her between the wall and the ironing board...
No, no, no. I will not be so rude.

I'm sorry to tell you that your nickname hasn't officially crystallized yet, though I was just thinking about Darkling. I hope that doesn't sound horrible to you, because the connotations are not horrible in my mind.
Anyway, we shall see.

Congratters again, lovely girl.

-B

Dear Bluebell,

Nickname me next.

Cloudy

 

[bluebell]

The Look

Dear Cloudy,

I'll need some thinking for that. You already have such good ones (discounting the variations of "bitch")...

Admiringly,
B

P.S.- Congratters to you, too. (It's always the moccasin grapvine that does it. )

 

[unpredictablebijou]

letter removed in the interest of preserving peace.

 

[RogueLurker]

for bijou

 

[Chantilyvamp]

Dear Bluebell,

Nickname me next.

Cloudy

*raises hand timidly* got one for me as well...I'm tried of my nickname.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Dear Rogue,

Thanks. Needed that.

bijou

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Dear Son,

Cut the crap, I'm not raising you to be a bully.

Mom.

 

[FallingToFly]

Dear nerves-

please knock that shit off. I hurt enough as it is. Having you make me sick with anticipation isn't helping.

Dear Pyxie:

Please hurry your fine ass up and get here, I've been pacing and fretting since last night.

Dear River:

Wish I was there too. Give me a couple days to settle some dynamics, and then prepare to be attacked.

Dear kids:

Lay down and take a nap or I will kill you.

Sincerely:

The Evil Bitch of the East Coast.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

The Evil Bitch of the East Coast.

Hey, that's my job!!

 

[FallingToFly]

Hey, that's my job!!

Dear Abs:

NO, it isn't... I vacated the Wicked Witch of the East Coast position for you. Did you not get the memo? I sent it with that flying furball of yours!

Sincerely:

The Evil Bitch of the East Coast.

 

[Trombonus]

Dear Abs and FtF,

I love you guys.

you make my heart giggle sometimes.

Love,
You're friendly neighborhood Autobot

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Dear Abs:

NO, it isn't... I vacated the Wicked Witch of the East Coast position for you. Did you not get the memo? I sent it with that flying furball of yours!

Sincerely:

The Evil Bitch of the East Coast.

Dear Bitch,

My bad. Carry on.

The green one.

 

[FallingToFly]

Dear Bitch,

My bad. Carry on.

The green one.

Dear Witch:

No problem- it's all good fun amongst colleagues.

Much love:

The flutterbug bitch.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Dear Witch:

No problem- it's all good fun amongst colleagues.

Much love:

The flutterbug bitch.

Dear Bitch,
I've missed you.

Let's do coffee.

Love back,

The Wicked one.

 

[Vermilion]

Dear Afternoon,

Thank *god* you're over. For some reason the illness is worst in the afternoon. I feel almost... ok... now... for the time being.

x
V
--------------------------------------
Dear Body,

Get better soonest,
Ta
x
V

 

[Skip1934a]

Dear Afternoon,

Thank *god* you're over. For some reason the illness is worst in the afternoon. I feel almost... ok... now... for the time being.

x
V
--------------------------------------
Dear Body,

Get better soonest,
Ta
x
V