Dear X,

[Denae]

Dear piece of shit Cigna/my.Cigna.com website,

I have never come across a completely useless, poor excuse for a working website EVER!!!! And you're a huge company??? Are you fucking kidding me????

I enter my id and password and press go and am instantly thanked for logging out and given the suggestion to close my browser. Ya think you might let me actually go to part of your website.

I am trying to fucking look up a surgeon so that I can get a fucking second opinion regarding some fucked up abnormal cells that I have, but I can't fucking do a mother-fucking thing on your fucking website.

Then I try to call customer service--oh that's right, the 1-800 number is not a 24/7 number now is it. So how is that customer service you fuckwads.

GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK ALREADY!!!

 

[bailadora]

{{{{Denae}}}}

Insurance co's are a pain in the ass, aren't they? Thinking of you and if Cigna gives you much more trouble, perhaps a conversation with your company's benefits person might help?

 

[Seamus123]

Dear Commuters,

I know you're busy people. Lord knows that selling mobile phones and wearing a £40 suit means that you're incredibly important - after all, what other reason would you have for bustling around London like you do?

I really do understand that you have to be in seventeen different places at once. It's not that you enjoy pushing people out of the way to get on and off the Tube train, but you have to if you're going to make all your appointments. And, after all, you have to wear a suit to be busy - I know that my job, writing for a prestigious magazine, doesn't mean anything to you because I happen to wear jeans and a hoodie while I'm doing it.

I also realise that you're really busy at Paddington Station, too. After all, why else would you run for the train? Nevermind that it doesn't leave for another 15 minutes, if you strolled over you'd merely look relaxed - and that just won't do.

Let's be honest, though. Waddling down the platform because your tight trousers don't let you run properly doesn't look very dignified, and neither does flinging your laptop case around like a newspaper in the wind. Complaining to the staff that the train has left isn't the best idea, either, because you were late. It's not their fault.

You should also consider a bit of variety. Wearing the same suit and doing the same job every single day must get incredibly tedious; there's no need to supplement your diet of boredom with the exact same cup of coffee and the same seat on the train every morning, too.

I mean, well, really. Get over yourselves.

You're a suit-wearing, platform-running, coffee-drinking commuter and I don't like you.

Yours sincerely,

Seamus

 

[bigman507]

Dear BlueSugar

My heart goes out to you *big hugs*

-S

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear T

Thank you for being a wonderful friend. I'm not sure you realize sometimes how much I appreciate your friendship and the fact we can still be friends.

Love, S


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear future girlfriend/fiancee/wife

Please come soon. I'm getting real lonely and tired of waiting.

Love, S

 

[Sleazy19]

Dear You,

In spite of everything, I love you.

I want to tell you to fuck off. I want to forget you exist. But I can't conceive my life without you in it anymore.

I don't want to live life without you. I'm sure this sounds silly and lame but it's how I truly feel.


Te amo, tonto.

Me

 

[sadangel]

Dear SO,
Please remember I am your partner, and not your child. I am a human being with feelings and need and want to feel wanted and needed, not your slave for no good reason. Please remember that I try to do things like you like, but when all I ever hear is how everything I do is wrong, it doesn't make me want to do anything anymore. Please try to say Thank You once in awhile, or take my hand first, or say I love you before I do. It's been 8 years, isn't it time.

Sadly,
your SO

 

[Last_Rider]

Dear APX alarm,

You bunch of self absorbed, narcasstic assholes. You moved my place of work 4 fucking times, didn't provide reimbursment for the expenses, hire only the most egotistical douche bags that I have ever met, sincerely don't give a fuck if anyone gets screwed over so long as you get your money, and treat your technicians like shit. If the lot of you died in horrible agony it wouldn't cause me to lose a moments sleep. Unless of course I didn't cause it, then I'd regret a missed opportunity.

Sincerely, Rider


*********

Dear United States Economy,

Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!
I know you're a system built to fail inevitably, but for the love of God, you couldn't have timed it a few hundred years after my existence?

Sincerely, Rider

*********

Dear Self,

What the hell is your problem? You don't do anything, you don't aspire to anything rational, you don't seem to care about that, and you're going to end up one of those 25 year old losers.
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!!!

Sincerely,
Apparently the only functioning part of your body, Your Mind

 

[AnitaMann]

dear...

you. you suck. I hate you for everything you have put me through. You would think that I would have become wise to your stupid shitty game by now. But no. I fell for that bullshit once again. Well let me tell you once and for all. I'm done. I wash my hands of you. I don't need you. I don't want you. And I can finally FINALLY say it, and know that I mean it.

 

[ZoeBird]

Dear best friend,

Please don't call me and tell me you are on heroin now and ask me what to do. I told you what to do a thousand times. Go to rehab and be honest with your husband about your drug habit. I don't even know who you are anymore. I still love you but you are not the same person I met 10 years ago. If you don't want my advice, and only seem to want me to worry and fret about you, don't tell me you are on drugs and then ignore anything I have to say that is realistic. I am not your therapist, or a drug counselor or your professional attention giver. No, I can't relate to you because I don't do drugs and you know that. So please don't expect me to try. For the first time since I moved away three years ago I am glad we live 2,000 miles apart. Get some help because you are worrying me fucking sick and I hate it.

-Zoe

 

[BSwett060]

Congratulations and good luck, Anita. It's not an easy thing to do to get to this point. I wish you all the best.

you. you suck. I hate you for everything you have put me through. You would think that I would have become wise to your stupid shitty game by now. But no. I fell for that bullshit once again. Well let me tell you once and for all. I'm done. I wash my hands of you. I don't need you. I don't want you. And I can finally FINALLY say it, and know that I mean it.

 

[CWatson]

...and you're going to end up one of those 25 year old losers.

...

*is a 25 year old loser*

*weeps manly man-tears*

~CWatson

 

[SweetErika]

Dear KC Freecycle Moderators,

Why, oh why, do you all have to be such utter bitches? Is 'stick up your ass' a requirement to become a Freecycle mod in this part of the country?

You have like a gazillion rules. But then on top of those, you make asinine judgments about why people are posting and what they should/shouldn't get from the community of people looking to give and get free stuff they need.

I posted a list of the 10 or so recommended supplies from the Humane Society Foster Dog manual. Because I didn't think you'd appreciate 10 messages regarding the same subject, I did one nice, succinct post with the list. But, noooo...that just wasn't acceptable to you! You just had to accuse me of using Freecycle as a "gift registry" and then haughtily tell me "if you can't afford to buy supplies for your foster dog, you shouldn't be fostering" and delete my post, even though I had a good response to it and got most of the supplies on the list! WTF?!

I get that there have to be strict rules to prevent spam and a total mess. I get that moderators are important and it's their prerogative to remove or edit stuff that doesn't fit the community standards. But why can't we have reasonable moderators who consider the intent of the posts and ask people about questionable posts prior to deleting them? I know it's a dictatorship, not a democracy, but can't we at least have some benevolent dictators?

You and your predecessor must have been best friends because you're both royal, judgmental bitches who favor rules over the spirit of the community. Who do we complain to about YOU and get YOU deleted from the system?

Very sincerely,

A Pissed Off KC Freecycler

 

[bailadora]

Dear Mother Nature:

Seriously? Snow in South Texas? What gives?

 

[Seamus123]

Dear Her,

I know that you've been ignoring me for the past, well, year. I'm not exaggerating; that's how long it's been. First it was because you became addicted to World of Warcraft, as utterly fucking pathetic as it is.

I know I should have sympathy with you. After all, I'm a technology and gaming journalist so I should understasnd what it's like to feel a compulsion to play. But I've never let it get so bad that I've failed to have even the smallest of conversations with my best friends ever several months. That's just beyond excessive.

You said you were sorry and it wouldn't happen again.

Oh. Wait.

You've gotten a new boyfriend and you're very happy with him. Of course, that's good, it's a very good thing. You've moved in with him after three months. That's less conventional, but whatever works for you. Even if it involves moving several hundred miles away, quitting your job, and ignoring phone calls, text messages, the occasional email.

That brings us to one short conversation in a year.

That's a pretty dramatic change. This time thirteen months ago we were best friends; you regularly told me that, we talked about anything, for hours.

You flicked a switch and instantly it all changed.

Now, I only ever try to call you when I'm drunk. I only text you when I'm drunk. When you sign into IM, I say hello and inevitably get no reply. I've come to realise that it's pointless and the longer I go on doing that the less chance there will be for reconciliation; if you don't think I'm a deranged stalker already then you will if I keep hassling you with phone calls and messages. I only want my friend back.

Today, I erased you from my phone, deleted you from facebook, scrubbed you from my IM account. There's no point bothering you anymore. It's not as if I really need you as a friend; I have lots of friends from both university and myp place of work. I just wanted you as a friend.

I half-expect a phone call from you in a few months, out of the blue. You'll be in an emotional crisis - the boyfriend will have dumped you, perhaps - and you'll need someone to talk to. So it'll be me. I'll probably answer, I'll be mad at you for a minute, but then I'll relent and we'll end the conversation with you saying how we're best friends and you love me and I'll be on grudging good terms with you.

I can see it in my mind's eye.

For now, though, you're deleted.

You know where I am if you need me.

 

[Windflower]

Dear SweetErika,

The Freecycle Moderators on the opposite side of the country do not behave differently. Same shit, different coast. Oddly enough, I have given ten fold more than I have ever received yet encounter issues caused by moderators. Complaining to 'higher ups' did nothing here.
It's not you.

Sincerely,
A Fellow Freecycler

Dear KC Freecycle Moderators,

Why, oh why, do you all have to be such utter bitches? Is 'stick up your ass' a requirement to become a Freecycle mod in this part of the country?

You have like a gazillion rules. But then on top of those, you make asinine judgments about why people are posting and what they should/shouldn't get from the community of people looking to give and get free stuff they need.

I posted a list of the 10 or so recommended supplies from the Humane Society Foster Dog manual. Because I didn't think you'd appreciate 10 messages regarding the same subject, I did one nice, succinct post with the list. But, noooo...that just wasn't acceptable to you! You just had to accuse me of using Freecycle as a "gift registry" and then haughtily tell me "if you can't afford to buy supplies for your foster dog, you shouldn't be fostering" and delete my post, even though I had a good response to it and got most of the supplies on the list! WTF?!

I get that there have to be strict rules to prevent spam and a total mess. I get that moderators are important and it's their prerogative to remove or edit stuff that doesn't fit the community standards. But why can't we have reasonable moderators who consider the intent of the posts and ask people about questionable posts prior to deleting them? I know it's a dictatorship, not a democracy, but can't we at least have some benevolent dictators?

You and your predecessor must have been best friends because you're both royal, judgmental bitches who favor rules over the spirit of the community. Who do we complain to about YOU and get YOU deleted from the system?

Very sincerely,

A Pissed Off KC Freecycler

 

[pvc_sister]

Dear Playstation 3

Stop crashing, you are not a product of Bill Gates so you have no excuse and it's been a year since I bought you so now you are just taking the piss!

Dear Biological Mother

Make your mind up, you turn up on my doorstep not 6 months after the death of my real mother expecting to be friends with me, buy me and my daughter items, and just after I'm getting over my initial misgivings against you, you never speak to me. Oh, you're always on MSN, and you invite me to join groups relating to your family tree, but it took me 3 days to get a reply from you when I was worried sick because I had a symptom of MS and wanted a family history.

I didn't even want to talk to you in the first place, but guilt and grief made me vunerable. Thanks for NOTHING!

Dear daughter.

I love you, so why must you be such a massive drama queen at the moment. I know you've been to hell with the ops on your foot, but it's been awful for me too. Please, bee, don't turn into me, I'm begging you, it would break my heart. xx

Dear Mum and Dad.

Oh god, I miss you both so much. I would give anything to tell you how much I love you.


Dear Russell Brand.

When is it my turn to shag you? LOL!

 

[SnowVixen]

Dear friend from college,

I know you're dealing with depression. I know you're still dealing with shit about your abusive ex. I know you're lonely and put up with friends who emotionally abuse you because you have nobody to hang out with. But I have kids, and a job, and a life, and while I'm more than happy to talk your problems over with you, ENOUGH is ENOUGH. There is only so much I can do before everything in my life starts to suffer. Stop trying to invite yourself over to my house every time you get a vacation. Maybe I moved twelve hours away for a reason. Couldn't you go hang out in the Florida Keys instead? It's actually warm there.


Dear Citigroup,

Fuck you. Fuck your stupid rate-hikes that are unrelated to my credit history which SHOULD be illegal but somehow aren't. Fuck that mysterious, unlabeled, five dollar "fee" which shows up on my account every now and then which I have to call to have removed. Fuck your inability to get my bank account correct in your records despite my having called multiple times to fix the problem. I know how you assholes got "too big to fail" - by eating the rest of us alive. Argh!

 

[Eilan]

Dear Grandma,

I miss you. Christmas won't be the same without you.

 

[Precious_Lady]

Dear Family:

When I took this job in South Korea I truly didn't realize how much I would miss you. I now realize how much you all mean to me and am seriously homesick this Christmas. Love and miss you all so much I can't even describe the feeling I have right now.

 

[Windflower]

Missing you this much week after week, makes the nightmares of possibly losing you seem too frighteningly real.

 

[Sleazy19]

Dear You

You already know how I feel. I don't need to say it again. What I really want to do is stand in the middle of the street and scream it.

I hope you know what you mean to me. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I don't give a shit about the world. The only thing I really care about is you.

I'm willing to wait, you don't need to ask me to do it. I want to do it. I am trying to keep the faith and I'm hoping things turn out well in the end. Life doesn't make any sense anymore if you're not in it.

I just want you to know that you have my unconditional love and friendship, forever.

I'm yours.

Te amo

Tu mangocita

 

[niceguys1st]

Dear You

You already know how I feel. I don't need to say it again. What I really want to do is stand in the middle of the street and scream it.

I hope you know what you mean to me. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I don't give a shit about the world. The only thing I really care about is you.

I'm willing to wait, you don't need to ask me to do it. I want to do it. I am trying to keep the faith and I'm hoping things turn out well in the end. Life doesn't make any sense anymore if you're not in it.

I just want you to know that you have my unconditional love and friendship, forever.

I'm yours.

Te amo

Tu mangocita

Wow, that is so beautiful and I feel exactly the same.

 

[PertPerth]

Dear Mother

I'm not sure what I want to say to you now that you're gone. I feel sad that we parted on bad terms, but I know that it could never have had a happy ending. I know you feel other wise, but I still think that once our bond was broken, it became impossible to fix. Having said that, you're still my mother, I'm still your daughter and I always wanted you to be happy.
I wish that your family could have come to terms with your illness and given you the help you needed. I hope that you have found the peace you've been craving for so long.

Your first born

 

[KarennaC]

Dear Ex-husband,
With all the times you've threatened to kill yourself, why the hell haven't you gone through with it yet? Do you have any fucking concept what it's like to hear our oldest daughter say that it's her fault you're acting this way, because she was born? Do you know what it's like to hear our youngest daughter say she wants her father back, but only if he's sane and stable? (And where the hell did a ten-year-old hear a phrase like that anyway?)

You haven't seen them in a year, and for all your whining that I'm a fucking bitch and I'm keeping them from you, you know it's your own goddamn fault. You know you're the one who put the older child in danger and neglected her to the point where she was reported truant from school and I had to all but shave her head to get rid of what you couldn't bother dealing with. You're the one who had her in a home, and had the younger one on weekends in a situation where they were constantly around a convicted child rapist, who was continuing to molest his own children IN THAT SAME FUCKING HOUSE! You keep running back to that woman, the one who was married to him and allowed him into the house, the one whose own children were taken by the state after what was going on in that house was finally reported, you've chosen her repeatedly over your own daughters, and you wonder why I won't let the protection order lapse?

You've fucked up. You've destroyed our children's trust in you, you're destroying your entire family with your actions and your refusal to accept any responsibility. You blame everyone else for everything you've done wrong. What about you? What about everything you did to me when we were married, everything you said, and everything you said to our children, especially the older one? No wonder she thinks everyone would be better off if she hadn't been born!

I hate you. I wish you would just fucking off yourself and be done wiht it so I don't have to feel this anymore. You'd better prepare yourself, because I will be going to court for sole rights to our children, and after everything you've done, I will get them.

Then maybe you'll finally follow through on your empty threats against yourself. I wouldn't normally wish my worst enemy dead, but you've become your own worst enemy, and there isn't any hope for you. At least if you're dead, the girls won't have to deal with the roller coaster of wondering why you don't love them anymore.

 

[niceguys1st]

Dear Someone,

I miss you like crazy. This week has been so hard not being able to speak with you. I miss your voice, miss your laugh and miss waking up tired in the morning because you kept me up until all hours of the night on the phone with you. You're on my mind every day, I hope you're well, and I hope we'll still talk when you're home. I wrote you a long letter two nights ago that I haven't been able to bring myself to send as I am trying so hard to respect your wishes and give you space and time to clear your head. I have been doing a lot of thinking this week about what you said though, and the more I think I keep coming up with the same conclusion, I love you, I want you and I want us and I am willing to make certain sacrifices to make that possible. Until we're together again....

Love Always, Me