Dear X,

[Saucyminx]

Dear Dr. Kiss my ass,

First of all, when I offered you your new contract, with a rather substantial raise in fees, (almost 3 times what I got last year anyway), you told me it was insulting and to 'kiss your ass.' Very very professional for a physican of your supposed standing. I sweetly told you to send me the papers to terminate your current contract, and still snickering a little bit, told you to have a nice day.

Now this morning, do I receive your termination? Why no. I receive a short email stating that after thinking about it, you have graciously decided to accept my offer.

Oh I'm sorry. You have now qualified for the "I'm an enormous douche bag" rate. I'm pretty sure I can get you lower, and the initial proposal was a limited time offer that expired the moment you told me to 'kiss your ass.' Add into the bargain that the network will not even blink if you are no longer part of it, and I believe you might get the hint to not let the door hit you in that kissable ass on your way out.

Life lesson time sweetie pie.

Hugs (no kisses)
Negotiator me

PS: Please make sure to be insufferable yet again. I thrive on that sort of thing.

 

[Saucyminx]

Dear Tootse,

Remember what I told you. Be careful. Have fun. Come home safe, sound, and with broader horizons then when you left. Love you dearly.

Mom

PS. Do what you know is right and smart, not what your friends suggest. Some of them are none too bright.

PSS. Your brother has demanded grilled cheese sandwiches all weekend in return for spring cleaning assistance. We will NOT be going in your room. *shudder*

 

[sweetmelody93]

Dear X,
Good luck with your career and life. I hope you find the woman you're looking for. Despite ripping my heart out twice and stomping on it, I really mean it. You will never hear from me again.

Blocked and deleted.

C.

 

[Eilan]

Dear X,

Everyone already thinks we're fucking. Let's make it so.

Me

 

[Miles Long]

Dear Boss,

In honor of the cinco de mayo holiday, I will work all day drinking margaritas. Ay Dios mío!

 

[Saucyminx]

Dear Boss,

In honor of the cinco de mayo holiday, I will work all day drinking margaritas. Ay Dios mío!

Dear Miles' boss,

I will be having margaritas all day as well. Please don't tell my boss.

Gracias!
Me

PS: I think you should have Miles wear a sombrero all day--just because.

 

[Emerson40]

Last person I said that^ to I married.

Dear Lustrous One,

I believe that in Australia, that is a common, romantic wedding proposal.

E

Dear Boss,

In honor of the cinco de mayo holiday, I will work all day drinking margaritas. Ay Dios mío!

Dear Miles' boss,

I will be having margaritas all day as well. Please don't tell my boss.

Gracias!
Me

PS: I think you should have Miles wear a sombrero all day--just because.

Dear Miles Margaritas & Sauced Minx,

Years ago, I worked for a company that had this not-so-bright gentleman working the inside-sales desk. For Cinco, he thought it would be fun to half empty a 2 litre bottle of Mountain Dew, then fill it back up with a bottle of tequila. He started in on his Mountain Dew Margaritas at the crack of open, and by lunch time was raising his mug and answering the phone "Olé!"

Someone found the spiked soda and reported the muchacho, who could now barely walk. He was poured into a cab and sent home, only to be let go the next day when he returned, hungover.

We dubbed that drink - Mountain Dew and tequila - the "Rock Bottom".


Olé,

E

 

[Saucyminx]

Dear Miles Margaritas & Sauced Minx,

Years ago, I worked for a company that had this not-so-bright gentleman working the inside-sales desk. For Cinco, he thought it would be fun to half empty a 2 litre bottle of Mountain Dew, then fill it back up with a bottle of tequila. He started in on his Mountain Dew Margaritas at the crack of open, and by lunch time was raising his mug and answering the phone "Olé!"

Someone found the spiked soda and reported the muchacho, who could now barely walk. He was poured into a cab and sent home, only to be let go the next day when he returned, hungover.

We dubbed that drink - Mountain Dew and tequila - the "Rock Bottom".


Olé,

E

Dear Emerson

You and your sensible attitude.

My party doesn't start until 6 pm. Work is over at 5:30 pm today so no rock bottoms for me. And Mountain dew? Blech. The way it has been going so far though, I might revise that strategy.

After 6, all bets are off, and all tequila is on.

Vaya con Dios,
M

 

[Emerson40]

Dear Lustrous One,

It has been a wee while since you have provided an update.

Something short & sweet, without all the baby juice, would be super fantastic.

http://33.media.tumblr.com/3b5298244a4bea077db097fcfec2d2d1/tumblr_n39suupDo41qzjw8go1_250.gif

http://36.media.tumblr.com/bc87ec43dd90ab74868faaf5fc65cac8/tumblr_nnra85Lptr1qh4311o1_250.jpg


Warmly,

Uncle Em

 

[RickTango]

Dear Really X
Do I know you?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Dear Really X
Do I know you?

Dear Rick Tango,

you know me!

hope you're doing well. it's nice to see you!

Signed,
Friendly Face Litster

 

[erotica_n_s]

.



Am I correct in understanding that the purpose of this thread is specifically that it's meant to be a place where you can say things that you can't actually say socially in real life?




.

 

[Emerson40]

Am I correct in understanding that the purpose of this thread is specifically that it's meant to be a place where you can say things that you can't actually say socially in real life?

This thread is a place where you can post a note or wee letter, to someone or something, and save on postage.

Seriously though, if you read through a few pages you'll get the idea. Some folks post
notes to fellow Listers:

Dear erotica_n_s,

Nice music thread you have there.

Rocka Rollin',

Em​

Some use it to post notes or letters to people in their lives, say things they are thinking or would like to say, if they could.
Some use it to write a letter to their car who let them down, their ex for being a twat, or someone that is admired secretly, but will never know.

 

[OTCurve]

Dear Restful Sleep,

Why are you so elusive? I court you, but you always turn me down. What must I do to win you over?

- Extremely tired otcurve

 

[sweetmelody93]

Dear X,
I hope you're doing okay and I hope you do contact me if any of your issues arises in the future. I do still care...


C.

 

[Saucyminx]

Dear Uncle Bud,

Have loved you from the moment you told me to quit carrying that keg, because I'd hurt my lady parts. And you are pretty much half the source of funny stories I've learned not to tell in public because people get that horrified look. I know they just don't get it.

You were one of a kind. Don't worry, we will take care of the girls. Tell Freda I said hi, and to quit doing the dirty boogie in Heaven, she will get booted out.

Rest in peace you lovely man.

Tits

 

[glynndah]

Dear X,

It'll take me a few days, but I'll be there. Just say the word.

Sincerely yours,

the "living in a fantasy world" good little witch.

 

[midwestyankee]

Dear Tits,

Hug!

 

[Saucyminx]

Dear Tits,

Hug!

Dear Yank,

Thanks. It's been a rocky few days.

Tits

 

[Emerson40]

Dear Tits,

Your heart is bigger than your ginormous...


dirty mind.

*HUGS, motorboat refrained*


Game to carry your keg, even if just for a while,


E

 

[Saucyminx]

Dear Tits,

Your heart is bigger than your ginormous...


dirty mind.

*HUGS, motorboat refrained*


Game to carry your keg, even if just for a while,


E

Dear E,

Thanks darlin. You can motorboat me any time you want.

Tits

 

[Tehalelu]

Dear X,
I truly believe that if you hadn't heard your Mother say, "You're just like her father," we'd be together right now...

 

[sweetmelody93]

Dear X,
Meeting you was the biggest mistake I have ever made. I am walking away from this fucked up mess you caused and I'm never coming back. Good luck finding someone who can put up with your ridiculous childish shit because lets be honest! No one out there can last as long as I have!

C

 

[WhipLuvr]

Dear X:

If I see you on your phone again at work I'll sneak up on you and give you surprise death-glares until you hang the fuck up.

If I catch you on the work phone, which is supposed to be open for customers I will pick up and join the conversation whether you like it or not.

If you have your cousin, your mom or your boyfriend call you ON the work phone DURING work hours and it's not an emergency I'll tell my boss and get your ass warned or fired.

Sincerely:

Your coworker

 

[Eilan]

Dear FB Frenemy,

Your obsession with my sex life is totes adorbs. Perhaps if you were getting laid more often, you wouldn't be so obsessed with what you thought I was doing with one of our mutual friends.

Your suspicions are correct, BTW, but you won't be hearing it from either of us.