Dear X,

[NightL]

Since this has gone back to Exs and not X = whatever, Ill give it a whirl.

Ex 1 - yep
Ex 2 - yes
Ex 3 - YES
Ex 4 - ah no
Ex 5 - yes and still
Ex 6 - OH YES and still

Still friends with all the yep and yes Exs

a few in-betweens get a hi and smile from time to time as well

not bad odds I think - a to them all except Ex 4

 

[EbersMoll]

Dear Cheated Consumer,

I hate to say it but your "WORK - LIKE AT ALL" comment kind of made me giggle.
The thought meeting your progeny on this site though - horrifying! Return that rotten router at once!

Guilty feeling giggling Litster

Dear giggling litster, and cheated consumer,

This sort of thing really does happen. At least one of you should remember me finding a pic of my younger sister on a femdom site not too long ago. Disconcerting to say the least.

Still slightly appalled, yet also slightly proud litster

Dear Politely Giggling and Boot Wearing Proud Litsters,

To the former, that's quite all right. We must take humour wherever we can find it. Rest assured, your giggles will be as nothing compared to the joy I will feel when exchanging the lump of blue LEDs and shiny black plastic masquerading as a router for a more functional item.

To the latter, oh my!! That must make for interesting discussions while washing the dishes after family get-togethers. Have you considered perhaps collaborating on a published account of your exploits? Maybe in a compare and contrast format?

Yours,

Battle-ready and pondering Litster.

 

[Treasured]

Dear Sandman,

Thank you so much for sending me some dreams last night. But seriously. did they have to be about brussel sprouts and squash?


Well rested litster

 

[heavyhitter01]

Dear Fucking Stupid Idiot Driver,

You cut me off and I kept my mouth shut. I didn't even flip you the bird you so richly deserved. You were jabbering on your cell phone and wouldn't have seen me anyway.

But then you had the audacity to slam on your brakes in the middle of the goddamn intersection and when I laid on the horn while screeching my own brakes to avoid hitting you, you had the further audacity to actually climb out of your car and give me the bird with both hands?

Fuck you and your brass balls, asshole. I saw where you parked.

Have you ever seen what sugar does to a gas tank?

Sincerely,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Vigilante

 

[imemkay]

Dear Friendly Neighborhood Vigilante,

Put down the sugar and back away from the car. Slow, deep breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

Put on some good music, and make me some pancakes???

Your friend with the improved skills

 

[heavyhitter01]

Dear Miss Improved Skills,

There is enough sugar left over for pancakes.

Sincerely,
The Craving Breakfast Vigilante

 

[imemkay]

Dear Miss Improved Skills,

There is enough sugar left over for pancakes.

Sincerely,
The Craving Breakfast Vigilante

Dear Craving,

Sugar? Oh that's right, you make yours from scratch.
I still have much to learn. Teach me?

Miss maybe only slightly improved skills

 

[heavyhitter01]

Dear Craving,

Sugar? Oh that's right, you make yours from scratch.
I still have much to learn. Teach me?

Miss maybe only slightly improved skills

Dear Slightly Improved,

Glad to teach you! Wear a sexy apron?

Sincerely,
Even Hungrier Chef

 

[imemkay]

Dear Slightly Improved,

Glad to teach you! Wear a sexy apron?

Sincerely,
Even Hungrier Chef

Dear Hungry,

My my! Isn't this an interesting turn of events?! Of course I'll wear a sexy apron. I'll even wear those nylons I know love so much.

Yours,
Eager student

 

[heavyhitter01]

Dear Hungry,

My my! Isn't this an interesting turn of events?! Of course I'll wear a sexy apron. I'll even wear those nylons I know love so much.

Yours,
Eager student

Dear Student,

The ones with the seams up the back? I might not be able to pay attention to cooking!

Sincerely,
The Leering Teacher

 

[imemkay]

Dear Student,

The ones with the seams up the back? I might not be able to pay attention to cooking!

Sincerely,
The Leering Teacher

Dear Teacher,

Yes, the ones with seams! I see they would have the desired effect on you. I guess I should have sent you those pics....

Sincerely,
Sexy nylon wearing student

 

[Sandman63]

Dear Sandman,

Thank you so much for sending me some dreams last night. But seriously. did they have to be about brussel sprouts and squash?


Well rested litster

Dear well rested lister
Looking in Sigmund Freud's book of dream interpretations.
Meaning:
Recently has had cravings to have the Chef's Special. Or refer to movie "When Harry Met Sally"
Customer says "I'll have what she's having"

 

[Treasured]

Dear well rested lister
Looking in Sigmund Freud's book of dream interpretations.
Meaning:
Recently has had cravings to have the Chef's Special. Or refer to movie "When Harry Met Sally"
Customer says "I'll have what she's having"

Dear Sigmund Freud dream interpretator,

Sally had Brussel Sprouts?

Looking for a Chef who knows how to cook the properly

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear You,

Don't send me to bed.

Sincerely,

Me

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear 5 Days,

Hurry up.

Thanks,

Pmann

 

[imemkay]

Dear Hair Holding Friend,

Good news! Ham is on the menu! As appreciative as I am of your offer, your strong stomach and hair holding ability will not be put to the test.

You and yours are still welcome for dinner, though!

Yours,
Relieved Litster

 

[EbersMoll]

Dear Hair Holding Friend,

Good news! Ham is on the menu! As appreciative as I am of your offer, your strong stomach and hair holding ability will not be put to the test.

You and yours are still welcome for dinner, though!

Yours,
Relieved Litster

Dear Relieved Litster,

I quite like turkey. However, not enough to wish to dine whilst wearing latex gloves, in preparation for saving other guests' coiffure during calls to 'José' on the porcelain telephone.

Ham is a good alternative, we like ham

What vino would you like me to bring?

Yours,

Salivating far too prematurely Litster.

 

[imemkay]

Dear Relieved Litster,

I quite like turkey. However, not enough to wish to dine whilst wearing latex gloves, in preparation for saving other guests' coiffure during calls to 'José' on the porcelain telephone.

Ham is a good alternative, we like ham

What vino would you like me to bring?

Yours,

Salivating far too prematurely Litster.

Dear Salivating Litster,

I like turkey, too. It's the smell of it roasting that makes me I'll. Weird, I know.

Calls to Jose on the porcelain telephone?? That's a new one!

Bring whatever kind of wine you like. I know absolutely nothing about that stuff! This too may shock you, but I don't drink!

Yours,
It's water for me Litster

 

[EbersMoll]

Dear Salivating Litster,

I like turkey, too. It's the smell of it roasting that makes me I'll. Weird, I know.

Calls to Jose on the porcelain telephone?? That's a new one!

Bring whatever kind of wine you like. I know absolutely nothing about that stuff! This too may shock you, but I don't drink!

Yours,
It's water for me Litster

Dear Aqua Bibens Amicus

Rather than using the euphemism, 'Calls to Jose on the porcelain telephone' would, 'driving the porcelain bus', be more familiar?

San Pellegrino it is then. Unless, hmmmm? Is sparkling water ok?

Yours,

At least the ice cream question has been settled, Litster.

 

[imemkay]

Dear Aqua Bibens Amicus

Rather than using the euphemism, 'Calls to Jose on the porcelain telephone' would, 'driving the porcelain bus', be more familiar?

San Pellegrino it is then. Unless, hmmmm? Is sparkling water ok?

Yours,

At least the ice cream question has been settled, Litster.

Dear Curious Litster,

Driving the porcelain bus....praying to the porcelain god....it's all the same. I think I shall begin using the Jose euphemism from time to time!

San Pellegrino is fine! I the bubbles! That way we can avoid the whole faucet/tap dilemma.

Now thirsty Litster

 

[eudaemonia]

Dear Universe,

Thanks for listening when I told you to knock that $h!t off back in January. What a difference a week, a month, almost a year makes! Things are much better now.

Sincerely,

e~

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear Restaurant Patron,

Why on earth would you buy a $85 Porterhouse and order it well done? I realize it is your right to order your steak how you like, but you just threw $85 + tip out the window.

Sincerely,

Judgy Restaurant Patron

 

[imemkay]

Dear Judgy Patron,

While I agree with you that they've wasted $85, I am a little miffed that you're talking about Porterhouse steak while I sit here eating a microwaved hot dog. You are the devil!

Guess I'll be having steak tomorrow!

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear Baked Goat Cheese and Roasted Garlic Bruschetta,

Your smell is so strong you could make a buzzard fall of a shit wagon. But damn you were tasty.

Sincerely

Stuffed Pmann

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear Los Angeles,

You were fantastic. Hope to see you again some day.

Cheers,

Pmann