Dear Santa...

bisolom

A Nice Guy
Joined
Apr 27, 2009
Posts
4,640
Thought I'd give it a try...

Tell Santa what (or who) you want for Christmas.

For myself...a move to Illinois and a sackful of money. :D
 
I will give it a shot...

Dear Santa,

I would love to have all of my favorite tv shows and games recorded to my DVR so i don't ever have to watch another commercial again. If I have to watch 2 women walking on the beach discussing itching issues I will lose my mind. If I ever have to watch another head-on ointment commercial I will lose my mind. If I ever have to watch another commercial tell me that if you are hard for more then 4 hours straight from taking their pill go straight to the emergency room commercial again I will lose my mind. if you have a hard-on for more then 4 hours and are not already at the Dr.s for sustaining a hard on more than 2 hours straight then you have wasted 2 hours of blood pumping to the wrong head and you surely don't need to have a tv actor spell it out for you. if I ever have to see another preview for avatar again I think I would die a happy man.Basically Santa all I am asking for is to be able to watch my 30 minute shows in 15 minutes because that is really how long they ar actually on. My hour shows in 35 minutes and my games in an hour and half I think I would have a lot more time to spend on being the lazy guy I already am. By the way I ate your cookies already....
 
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Dear Santa,
Bring me a Santa of my own. Please be quick about it. Please let things work out quickly and let January be the beginning of a wonderful life. Oh...and Santa, no cookies this year....I heard you like soup instead.

Been really good,
Rachel
 
Dear Santa,
Bring me a Santa of my own. Please be quick about it. Please let things work out quickly and let January be the beginning of a wonderful life. Oh...and Santa, no cookies this year....I heard you like soup instead.

Been really good,
Rachel

Checked my list twice.
You have been very good this year. :D

There will be "something special" for you under the tree.
I will make sure January comes immediately after December this year.

Santa :kiss:

p.s. Thanks for the soup. My Santa suit has been a little snug lately.
 
Dear Santa....
You should be able to guess what i want for Christmas... but if I don't see signs I'll tell you all about it on the 24th.... but besides that, please ensure no airport closings on the 23rd to delay my trip home. I cannot be without the minions for the holidays.
Thank you.
Me
 
I will give it a shot...

Dear Santa,

I would love to have all of my favorite tv shows and games recorded to my DVR so i don't ever have to watch another commercial again. If I have to watch 2 women walking on the beach discussing itching issues I will lose my mind. If I ever have to watch another head-on ointment commercial I will lose my mind. If I ever have to watch another commercial tell me that if you are hard for more then 4 hours straight from taking their pill go straight to the emergency room commercial again I will lose my mind. if you have a hard-on for more then 4 hours and are not already at the Dr.s for sustaining a hard on more than 2 hours straight then you have wasted 2 hours of blood pumping to the wrong head and you surely don't need to have a tv actor spell it out for you. if I ever have to see another preview for avatar again I think I would die a happy man.Basically Santa all I am asking for is to be able to watch my 30 minute shows in 15 minutes because that is really how long they ar actually on. My hour shows in 35 minutes and my games in an hour and half I think I would have a lot more time to spend on being the lazy guy I already am. By the way I ate your cookies already....

Dear Santa

With ref to the above dear santa, could we change that ad? To something like if you carry an erection for more than four hours skip the doctor and head straight to Missyx?

I have been very very very good

Thanks

Missyx
 
Thought I'd give it a try...

Tell Santa what (or who) you want for Christmas.

For myself...a move to Illinois and a sackful of money. :D
warm weather, a peaceful life without a few certain people in it...and a few thousand bucks.
 
Dear Santa,
Do you need an apprentice? I'm getting kind of bored with my job, and I believe I'd make a great one. You plan to retire at some point, right? Start breaking me in now, and I'll be ready to hit the ground running when you decide to call it quits. Not planning to retire ever? Ok, so how about a magic wand so I can spread some good cheer the rest of the year?
BH
 
Dear Santa,
Do you need an apprentice? I'm getting kind of bored with my job, and I believe I'd make a great one. You plan to retire at some point, right? Start breaking me in now, and I'll be ready to hit the ground running when you decide to call it quits. Not planning to retire ever? Ok, so how about a magic wand so I can spread some good cheer the rest of the year?
BH

First lesson if you want to be the next Santa...
Don't step in the raindeer poop. The elves hate it when it gets tracked into the workshop. :D
 
Dear Santa,

I was wondering if you could pass along a favor for me. As much as I love my Mom and I truley do, would you please inform her that a case of Top Ramen doesn't need to be wrapped and put under the tree like last year. Or better yet the Sam's club case of toilet paper she wrapped up the year before apparently telling her that she feels the need to make sure my heiny is wiped up till the new millenium. Or even better the Bonzai Tree that she wrapped up in Mid October kept in her closet and then put under the tree for me to unwrap Christmas morning to it being completely wilted and dead. No matter what positive energy and kung fu science I applied to it there was no resuscitating that poor thing. I know she means well and I love her for all the things she does for me could you please inform her all I want is an IHOP gift card so I can eat all the Rootie Tootie Fresh and Fruitie Breakfasts I can eat....

Please have a safe trip around the world and please watch out for low flying geese as they have caused quite a few crashes this year....
 
Dear Santa

Please let me enjoy a few pre Christmas drinkies without having a hangover on the big day. Much appreciated.

Not a lush but so many drinks so little time :D
 
Dear Santa,

I was wondering if you could pass along a favor for me. As much as I love my Mom and I truley do, would you please inform her that a case of Top Ramen doesn't need to be wrapped and put under the tree like last year. Or better yet the Sam's club case of toilet paper she wrapped up the year before apparently telling her that she feels the need to make sure my heiny is wiped up till the new millenium. Or even better the Bonzai Tree that she wrapped up in Mid October kept in her closet and then put under the tree for me to unwrap Christmas morning to it being completely wilted and dead. No matter what positive energy and kung fu science I applied to it there was no resuscitating that poor thing. I know she means well and I love her for all the things she does for me could you please inform her all I want is an IHOP gift card so I can eat all the Rootie Tootie Fresh and Fruitie Breakfasts I can eat....

Please have a safe trip around the world and please watch out for low flying geese as they have caused quite a few crashes this year....

Dear Santa

Alternatively...you could always send me a guy with a sense of humour as good as this one's :D

Loves To Laugh :rose:
 
Dear Santa

Alternatively...you could always send me a guy with a sense of humour as good as this one's :D

Loves To Laugh :rose:

:) Just my warped upbringing and lots of martinis passed around the dinner table that allows me to block out certain memories and remember others with way too much clarity. Thanks for the compliment ;-)
 
Dear Santa,

I would like to ask that my good friend, the Crved One, has a raptor free Christmas. I'd like to ask that she gets many shimmy scarves and coin bras. I ask that they not be so heavy with coins that her bewbies fall out when she performs...altho, that might make for great video.

I ask that she has fewer stress filled days, and more time to write.

I ask that you get her home again, so I can have time with her.

Thank you

~your good buddy, and top of the nice list, friend...K
 
Dear Santa...
I would like to activate the Fiji plan. :)
Can you help with that?
Thanks....
Love
Melody
 
I will give it a shot...

Dear Santa,

I would love to have all of my favorite tv shows and games recorded to my DVR so i don't ever have to watch another commercial again. If I have to watch 2 women walking on the beach discussing itching issues I will lose my mind. If I ever have to watch another head-on ointment commercial I will lose my mind. If I ever have to watch another commercial tell me that if you are hard for more then 4 hours straight from taking their pill go straight to the emergency room commercial again I will lose my mind. if you have a hard-on for more then 4 hours and are not already at the Dr.s for sustaining a hard on more than 2 hours straight then you have wasted 2 hours of blood pumping to the wrong head and you surely don't need to have a tv actor spell it out for you. if I ever have to see another preview for avatar again I think I would die a happy man.Basically Santa all I am asking for is to be able to watch my 30 minute shows in 15 minutes because that is really how long they ar actually on. My hour shows in 35 minutes and my games in an hour and half I think I would have a lot more time to spend on being the lazy guy I already am. By the way I ate your cookies already....


not sure which i am laughing at the hardest here... but wheni think about the head-on commercials it makes me really glad that i cant afford cable!!!


Dear Santa,

I was wondering if you could pass along a favor for me. As much as I love my Mom and I truley do, would you please inform her that a case of Top Ramen doesn't need to be wrapped and put under the tree like last year. Or better yet the Sam's club case of toilet paper she wrapped up the year before apparently telling her that she feels the need to make sure my heiny is wiped up till the new millenium. Or even better the Bonzai Tree that she wrapped up in Mid October kept in her closet and then put under the tree for me to unwrap Christmas morning to it being completely wilted and dead. No matter what positive energy and kung fu science I applied to it there was no resuscitating that poor thing. I know she means well and I love her for all the things she does for me could you please inform her all I want is an IHOP gift card so I can eat all the Rootie Tootie Fresh and Fruitie Breakfasts I can eat....

Please have a safe trip around the world and please watch out for low flying geese as they have caused quite a few crashes this year....



Dear SAnta,

Uhm... how about a warm male cuddle buddy? preferably with a sense of humor (above is a good example), strong hands (muscles are so tight right now), who doesnt care that i refuse to make the bed (actively participates in messing it up with me), and can keep up with my silliness (yeah thats what it is called these days ;) )

thinking a girl can dream, but realizes that she has more than likely been too bad to earn a cuddle buddy... sigh...

sticking her lower lip out in the cutest way freakin possible,

rikki
 
not sure which i am laughing at the hardest here... but wheni think about the head-on commercials it makes me really glad that i cant afford cable!!!

Dear SAnta,

Uhm... how about a warm male cuddle buddy? preferably with a sense of humor (above is a good example), strong hands (muscles are so tight right now), who doesnt care that i refuse to make the bed (actively participates in messing it up with me), and can keep up with my silliness (yeah thats what it is called these days ;) )

thinking a girl can dream, but realizes that she has more than likely been too bad to earn a cuddle buddy... sigh...

sticking her lower lip out in the cutest way freakin possible,

rikki

Who can resist that lower lip? There will be a cuddle buddy under the tree Christmas Eve...
Unless maybe stilts30 gets there early. :D

SANTA
 
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