Dear Santa...

[RedheadedHaze]

(shamelessly stolen from the Playground)


Dear Santa:

This year, I have been my usual candy cane self: sweet and twisted. I think after all of our years together, you've come to the realization that's my very best effort, so hopefully we have an understanding. That being said, here's my list of holiday wishes:

1. A new brocade corset. Can a girl really ever have too many? I think not.

2. 4 more pairs of seamed stockings with cuban heel. Sadly, in all my jaunting about town, my last pair took a run and it was a very sad day indeed. I can't be expected to turn heads if I don't have drop dead gorgeous legs, can I?

3. Someone to stuff my stocking. Year after year, my stocking goes empty and I'm getting really tired of filling it with candy I've had to buy myself. (Yes, I realize this statement is ripe with innuendo. I'm trying here, I swear.)

4. Apple to finally take iPhone from AT&T to Verizon, where they belong. So I can have that highly addictive gadget. Must. Have. An. iPhone.

5. Last, but far from least, if you could deliver the culmination of all my erotic fantasies and leave him at the foot of my bed, I'd be forever in your debt. It's not too much to ask, is it?

 

[Macdaddy23]

(shamelessly stolen from the Playground)


Dear Santa:

4. Apple to finally take iPhone from AT&T to Verizon, where they belong. So I can have that highly addictive gadget. Must. Have. An. iPhone.
Smart woman. Just sucks that AT&T bought the rights for four more years. Verizon couldn't have the iPhone on Verizon even though Verizon has the better 3G Network.

 

[kaycee217]

(shamelessly stolen from the Playground)


Dear Santa:

4. Apple to finally take iPhone from AT&T to Verizon, where they belong. So I can have that highly addictive gadget. Must. Have. An. iPhone.
Smart woman. Just sucks that AT&T bought the rights for four more years. Verizon couldn't have the iPhone on Verizon even though Verizon has the better 3G Network.

I heard the issue is with Steve Jobs and Apple's desire to have more control than Verizon was willing to grant them...that's just the impression I've had.

 

[kaycee217]

(shamelessly stolen from the Playground)


Dear Santa:

This year, I have been my usual candy cane self: sweet and twisted. I think after all of our years together, you've come to the realization that's my very best effort, so hopefully we have an understanding. That being said, here's my list of holiday wishes:

1. A new brocade corset. Can a girl really ever have too many? I think not.

2. 4 more pairs of seamed stockings with cuban heel. Sadly, in all my jaunting about town, my last pair took a run and it was a very sad day indeed. I can't be expected to turn heads if I don't have drop dead gorgeous legs, can I?

3. Someone to stuff my stocking. Year after year, my stocking goes empty and I'm getting really tired of filling it with candy I've had to buy myself. (Yes, I realize this statement is ripe with innuendo. I'm trying here, I swear.)

4. Apple to finally take iPhone from AT&T to Verizon, where they belong. So I can have that highly addictive gadget. Must. Have. An. iPhone.

5. Last, but far from least, if you could deliver the culmination of all my erotic fantasies and leave him at the foot of my bed, I'd be forever in your debt. It's not too much to ask, is it?

Hmmmm, I'm under the impression you get plenty of opportunities to have your stocking stuffed.

 

[RedheadedHaze]

@Kaycee: LOL. I'm just picky is all.

Ok, posters....share your wishlists, if you so please.

 

[kaycee217]

@Kaycee: LOL. I'm just picky is all.

Ok, posters....share your wishlists, if you so please.

I envy you.

 

[blue_mojo_pin]

1 - to help RedHeadedHaze with her stocking.

2 - A new guitar, either a PRS or an ESP.

3 - More self confidence (I don't know if Santa Claus does metaphysical gifts, but it's worth asking)

4 - The woman of my dreams (well, you've got to aim high, right?)

 

[kaycee217]

Dear Santa:

I don't want any material goods this year from you. What I do ask of you is to explain how you're able to obtain and deliver all those presents and how you're able to keep Death at bay. I am very curious to know if you have the power to control time or if you are the beneficiary of a VERY large trust fund. Or maybe you have harnessed the power of faster-than-light travel? If so, are you selling intellectual property rights to that technology to fund your charitable work?

Please explain, I'm very curious.

Respectfully,
KC the Curious Cat

 

[Sailorboy75]

1. In my stocking I would like several new tubes of flavored lubricant.

2. A new TV for my living room.

3. Santa's southern helper comes through with the new toy I've been wanting.

4. Santa to deliver the same helper under our tree so that we can enjoy the stocking stuffers together.

5. The will to loose and keep off this last 15 lbs.

 

[Madcapsule]

Dear Father Christmas, (I remain nonchalant, whilst using British etymology)

Throughout my life time, I've always been prepared with my Christmas list; from the days of flicking through, almost ravenously, the glossy paged catalogues of children's dreams, to now where I sceptically repeat the process, embittered and jaded from the fact I never received those Rollerskates I asked for not that long ago. Alas, the catalogue is now one of metaphysical wants and needs. With that in mind, I'll take anything from the list below, or the damn Rollerskates.

1) Fiscally I'm not exactly endowed, (Stop sniggering Father Christmas). Please send me a cheque made payable to... well, THAT you should know by now. If you're all high and mighty about it, and believe this request is not in keeping with the "Christmas Spirit", I will accept lots and lots of gift vouchers.

2) This Christmas I want all the trimmings. I should clarify this further, because when you read that last year, I believe you were slightly confused. Don't worry though, it was greatly appreciated.
*Looks at Santa's Collection of Beard Hair*

What I mean is I want an abundant glorious feast on Christmas Day, almost gaudy in nature. Lots of Turkey, Gammon, Beef, Sausages with Bacon wrapping, and the crispest of Roast Potatoes. Not to mention the associated vegetables that go along with it. Remember I hate the Roast parsnips that look like potatoes. Cunning bastards.

Oh and alcohol aplenty please.

3) In terms of gifts, I'm not fussed this year. Surprised? Well I'd rather you'd spend your energies on keeping all the family getting on, and enjoying themselves. (This is perhaps my most selfless wish, do not be concerned about this. I'm expecting to be hungover on Christmas Day, and people's bickering will play havoc with my head.)

4) Oh and whilst we're on the subject of people, can you please make a more coherent attempt at vetting the Mistletoe queue? Kissing granny's furry cheek was cute and endearing when I was five.

5) My last Christmas wish is simply thus:- What can I say, so that none of that came across as an obnoxious, repugnant and bastardised list from an overly spoilt pale excuse of a man?

Nope, I've got nothing either. Fuck it.


Merry Christmas everyone!!

 

[RedheadedHaze]

I know that MC's post is a tough act to follow, but surely more of you have Santa wish lists...

SPILL!

 

[NoHair]

Dear Santa, I would like clarity. That's it.

 

[dirtycarol]

I want a younger body!..Same mind, just the body of a 25year old!

 

[~Haze~]

1 - to help RedHeadedHaze with her stocking.

2 - A new guitar, either a PRS or an ESP.

3 - More self confidence (I don't know if Santa Claus does metaphysical gifts, but it's worth asking)

4 - The woman of my dreams (well, you've got to aim high, right?)

This is a lot easier than you think. Santa works in mysterious ways.

Really, when you think about it - #1, #3, and # 4 are all pretty much the same thing.

RedHeadedHaze is obviously the woman of your dreams. Stuff her stocking and there's no going back to "regular women" ever again. And go ahead, try to tell me that having her on your arm doesn't give you more self confidence than you know what to do with.

 

[RedheadedHaze]

This is a lot easier than you think. Santa works in mysterious ways.

Really, when you think about it - #1, #3, and # 4 are all pretty much the same thing.

RedHeadedHaze is obviously the woman of your dreams. Stuff her stocking and there's no going back to "regular women" ever again. And go ahead, try to tell me that having her on your arm doesn't give you more self confidence than you know what to do with.

It's nice to know I have that effect.

Admittedly, I'm far from the norm. It's a bit like having fine wine straight from the vineyards private house collection and then trying to go back to wine in a box. It just isn't quite the same thing, try as you might.

 

[Kitkat103]

Dear Santa,

Santa, if you give me that infrared vibrator and something to do this new years (maybe get me tickets to that sold out night club) then were cool.

 

[AnitaMann]

Dear Santa,
I realize I spent half of the day today bitching about Christmas, and the commercialism ruining it for me. So - by making a request to you, I am either proving myself to be totally two-faced, or maybe coming to the realization that Christmas is what I make of it. Well, Santa...that being said... I have a request.
For Christmas this year, just for once, in my life, I'd like to be able to spend a holiday with my family and not have to intervene in anyone's battles, or fight my own stupid battles with my mother. Just this once, Santa, can you put everyone's hearts, and souls on Peace and Harmony mode. Can you just make this year be about fun and happiness, and good things. Instead of dredging up mistakes, and heartache and all of the ways I have disappointed my parents? I know it's alot to ask. Just this once, and I will never ask for anything else. Promise.

If it weren't for that Macy's commercial I saw earlier this evening, I probably wouldn't even be asking. But they swear that you REALLY do exist.

 

[RedheadedHaze]

Dear Santa,
I realize I spent half of the day today bitching about Christmas, and the commercialism ruining it for me. So - by making a request to you, I am either proving myself to be totally two-faced, or maybe coming to the realization that Christmas is what I make of it. Well, Santa...that being said... I have a request.
For Christmas this year, just for once, in my life, I'd like to be able to spend a holiday with my family and not have to intervene in anyone's battles, or fight my own stupid battles with my mother. Just this once, Santa, can you put everyone's hearts, and souls on Peace and Harmony mode. Can you just make this year be about fun and happiness, and good things. Instead of dredging up mistakes, and heartache and all of the ways I have disappointed my parents? I know it's alot to ask. Just this once, and I will never ask for anything else. Promise.

If it weren't for that Macy's commercial I saw earlier this evening, I probably wouldn't even be asking. But they swear that you REALLY do exist.

Awwww...... ((HUGS)) Anita. I bet you're going to have the best Christmas ever. And keep believing....Macy's doesn't lie...

I DID just get the best new pair of shoes there the other day...on sale...just as promised in their flyer.

 

[draconus_infernus]

Dear Santa;

I just want time off. The last two times I've tried to get in a vacation day, I've had to come to work anyway. I have over a week's worth of vacation accrued, and I'd really like to get as much of it in before the end of the year as I can.

 

[insert____here]

dear santa

i've been spoilt rotten this year. so instead i ask

1 - that grandad makes it through one last christmas until i get there. miss the old bugger and know he won't make it to the next one.
2 - if you could somehow make the stupid bastards at the boarding kennel get at least one lump of coal for stuffing me around then cheers.
3 - keep everyone in my little circle of family and other assorted loved ones safe and well for whatever proportion of december / january that officially belongs to you.
4 - if somehow i've managed to earn an extra something, i'm eyeing off that really nifty looking jacket, you know the one i mean. is it okay to ask for burgundy?? failing that, a gift voucher to bunnings hardware....sooo many interesting things making my inner slave perk up in that place...

thanks santa
ps; have you considered waking me up when you visit? that red velvet suit has me intrigued....

 

[DefineNormal]

I want a younger body!..Same mind, just the body of a 25year old!

Dear Santa,

I dont ask much just dirty carol under my tree in any form ... Bah humbug ..

 

[TheNaughtyLittlePea]

Dear Santa...

I would love for Christmas this year...

1. To have a threesome
2. To get an Iphone
3. For my mortgage to be paid for lol (boring I know)
4. For those green heels I saw at the shops today
5. Lingerie!

 

[Frizzle_Fry]

Dear Santa, this holiday season I want

1)to bed a set of identical twin sisters
2) a 700 gallon reef tank with accecories and stock
3) a Barrett M98B .338 Lapua Mag with a Swarovski Z6i Illuminated scope

 

[bellaitalliana]

Dear Santa,
I know that it has been a very long time since you and I have conversed but I am hoping that I have been good enough this year to possibly earn a spot on your "nice" list. If you have space in the sled, I would like to have:

1. A much better 2010 than I had 2009

2. A vacation to some far-off ish place where I can really forget and unwind.

3. An enjoyable trip in February when I go visit a special someone

4. A beautiful little sparkly something

5. Hope

Thanks ever so much Santa! I will always and forever believe in you.

 

[NoHair]

Isn't it funny how Santa is an anagram of Satan? Cause that's probably who I'll have to make a deal with to get this wish:

Dear Sata,
This Christmas, I'd like to, when playing piano, have Vladimir Ashkenazy's dexiterity and precision, Glenn Gould's unique interpretation, and Liberace's flambouyance.