Dear Lit Deplorables: the gov't is going to ping your cell phone today

[RoryN]

You should have played nice with me.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Is this to activate the vaccine?

 

[RoryN]

Is this to activate the vaccine?

Precisely.

 

[adrina]

That was anti-climatic. I was thinking the borg would jump out of my phone or something. Bummer.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

LA was just activated.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

Are we zombies now? I didn’t sleep last night, so I really can’t tell…

 

[Bn2f]

BZZZZZZ wish it were in my panties when it happened!

Ugh! A clit and a vibrator joke on the political board?????!!!!!

I APPROVE!

 

[Fuzzy1975]

Are we zombies now? I didn’t sleep last night, so I really can’t tell…

Only if you had the COVID shot, and the micro chip correctly assimilated with your DNA

 

[RoryN]

I was thinking "National Alert System" or something similar. I wasn't expecting the title "Presidential Alert".

Are we going to get a notice every time Biden's dog bites someone?

 

[jaF0]

Can I turn my phone back on now?

 

[Lazaran]

Dammit Rory, those fucking idiot Deplorables are going to use this thread as evidence of…something???

 

[Rotadom]

My talk show folks reminded everyone with sidepieces to make sure the burner wasn't in hearing distance of your partner

 

[RoryN]

Can I turn my phone back on now?

I've lived with a cell phone for decades.

Based on that experience, my answer would be "highly unrecommended".

 

[Dribble]

All mine did was vibrate. So the alarm didn't get to trigger the microchips in my vaccine. Damn...I was looking forward to snacking on some brains

 

[Rotadom]

 

[Fuzzy1975]

All mine did was vibrate. So the alarm didn't get to trigger the microchips in my vaccine. Damn...I was looking forward to snacking on some brains

There is no escape, resistance is futile, you will be assimilated eventually.

 

[phrodeau]

 

[BabyBoomer50s]

Jamaal Bowman thought it would open a door.

 

[Bamagan]

Is this to activate the vaccine?

Actually, the vaccine is the antidote. It's activating the compound created by mixing chemtrails and fluoridated water. This way they can wipe out all the anti-vaxxers.

 

[RoryN]

Jamaal Bowman thought it would open a door.

I say this as a caring human being: please stop trying to be funny.

 

[coati]

Lotta people are saying the Gummint needed to conduct a cell phone test prior to rounding up all the Deplorables and confiscating their guns.

 

[PaxNurgle]

I turned my phone to "Mute" and silenced it just so it wouldn't give a loud buzz and interrupt everything.

Didn't work.

What good is the phone silence switch if the government can just override it? What if I'd been in a movie theater, or having an intimate moment with my partner?

 

[ll74]

I turned my phone to "Mute" and silenced it just so it wouldn't give a loud buzz and interrupt everything.

Didn't work.

What good is the phone silence switch if the government can just override it? What if I'd been in a movie theater, or having an intimate moment with my partner?

The point is that if they use this thing for realz, you'll likely be fucked either way

 

[YDB95]

Lotta people are saying the Gummint needed to conduct a cell phone test prior to rounding up all the Deplorables and confiscating their guns.

But gun owners ain't dumb, they know what to do: Show the gummint who's boss! Shut down any and all contact with them whatsoever! Stay home on election day and don't vote. Show 'em you mean business!

 

[RoryN]

What good is the phone silence switch if the government can just override it? What if I'd been in a movie theater, or having an intimate moment with my partner?

Or worse: you're an at-risk individual who has a secret, hidden cell phone somewhere for emergencies...