dear laurel

[Laurel]

Dear birdy,

No, you are.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear Johnny,

They have those at Costco? Do you have to buy them in bulk? I only need one or two.

Congratulations on Chomper being 20. That's an amazing old age for a cat.

And also congratulations on Fred. That's an amazingly good name for a dog.

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear JAJ,

True story: someone I semi-know brought a rat home thinking it was a guinea pig. I only saw pics of it on her Facebook, but it was clearly not a guinea pig. A few hours later, she was bitten by the rat and had to go to the hospital for tetanus shots and other fun things. The rat escaped in the melee.

So if Johnny has a squirrel, the only thing that would surprise me is that it didn't get along with Fred - because it seems to me that squirrels and dogs could be swell pals.

Love,

Laurel

 

[oggbashan]

Dear Laurel,

There's a woman columnist in Part two of The Times today arguing that we don't need the UK government to protect us against internet porn because she watches it, so does her husband, and they sometimes watch it together. She complains that anti child abuse campaigners often confuse porn for consenting adults with the abhorrent stuff that is already illegal.

The proposal is that we should 'opt in' to porn, instead of setting parental controls to 'opt out'.

As she says, the problem is that the only members of the family savvy enough to set or unset the controls are her teenagers.

Perhaps you should be recommended for an award for services to Literature?

 

[Noor]

Dear Noor,

:hotcocoa:

Love,

Laurel

Dear Laurel,

Thank you!
It's been a rough past week, and still not quite over...
Hot Cocoa was just what I needed!
My silver lining is about again!
Being surrounded by love, singing and music the past 10 days didn't hurt either.
I hope I don't end up on iv antibiotics tomorrow.

Noor, currently not the best road manager...

 

[Noor]

Dear JAJ,

True story: someone I semi-know brought a rat home thinking it was a guinea pig. I only saw pics of it on her Facebook, but it was clearly not a guinea pig. A few hours later, she was bitten by the rat and had to go to the hospital for tetanus shots and other fun things. The rat escaped in the melee.

So if Johnny has a squirrel, the only thing that would surprise me is that it didn't get along with Fred - because it seems to me that squirrels and dogs could be swell pals.

Love,

Laurel

How could someone mistake a rat for a guinea pig? Wouldn't the lack of a tail and sounds give it away?

 

[thør]

How could someone mistake a rat for a guinea pig? Wouldn't the lack of a tail and sounds give it away?

What if the person never saw either, before?

 

[Noor]

What if the person never saw either, before?

You mean not everyone researches the hell out of everything before they do something?

confused,
Noor

 

[thør]

You mean not everyone researches the hell out of everything before they do something?

confused,
Noor

Some people are oblivious.

 

[islandman]

Dear Laurel,

You. Have. No. Idea. How. Good. Nebraska. Is.


Yours in appreciation,


Islandman

 

[thør]

Dear Laurel,

You. Have. No. Idea. How. Good. Nebraska. Is.


Yours in appreciation,


Islandman

If you are in the big-middle of Nebraska, I can direct you to a place that has the best flatiron steaks, ever.

 

[islandman]

If you are in the big-middle of Nebraska, I can direct you to a place that has the best flatiron steaks, ever.

I'm not in Nebraska yet, but I've made a note to ask you once I get there.

 

[thør]

I'm not in Nebraska yet, but I've made a note to ask you once I get there.

No offense, but why the fuck would you go to Nebraska?

 

[Lorilei]

Dear Laurel,

Never wipe your nose with your hand when you've been working with jalapeno peppers. Trust me on this.

Love,
Lorilei

 

[Saint Peter]

If you are in the big-middle of Nebraska, I can direct you to a place that has the best flatiron steaks, ever.

Dude's Steak House in Sydney?

 

[thør]

Dude's Steak House in Sydney?

No.

This is THE butcher shop where you can buy some tasty meat.

 

[Saint Peter]

No.

This is THE butcher shop where you can buy some tasty meat.

Dude's has an old school shuffleboard table.

 

[thør]

Dude's has an old school shuffleboard table.

Too far west.

 

[islandman]

No offense, but why the fuck would you go to Nebraska?

I've always wanted to go to Nebraska.

Lots of curves out there to wear out my brakes.

 

[thør]

I've always wanted to go to Nebraska.

Lots of curves out there to wear out my brakes.

Try Deal's Gap in North Carolina.

 

[islandman]

Try Deal's Gap in North Carolina.

Never been to NC.

Might be feasible should I continue on past DC on the next roadtrip.

 

[thør]

Never been to NC.

Might be feasible should I continue on past DC.

Lots of curves.

 

[girlsmiley]

Lozenge.

Come to Sydney! It's not far. I can buy you a ticket if you're too poor loooolll.

Wet'n'Wild opens in approx. 3 weeks. We can have beers at my pub. I can cook for you. If you like I can even take you to the cricket. Buy you a pair of thongs you'll fit right in, mate.

Ugh, time to go to work. Work sucks.

I love you.

 

[islandman]

Lots of curves.

Dear Laurel,

Is thor hitting on me?


Yours in wondering,

islandman

 

[Sean Renaud]

Dear Everybody but Kyle,

We should make this an never-ending thread just to get up Kyle's cute little ferret butt.

To that end, we should use this thread to write letters to whoever you want. Especially to Kyle.

Love,

Laurel

Dear Laurel,

Due to your own decree we cannot make this a never ending thread. There is currently a limit set at 5k. I feel that I am due a prize at this point, you are something like the God who managed to make a rock so heavy he could not lift it are you not? A deity who's own rules bind her against her will!

 

[Noor]

Dear Laurel,

Would it be so wrong to just bop him over the head and drag him back to my cave?
His hair isn't long enough to draw him by but he does have nice long legs.
I suppose I wouldn't want to head injure him, so would have to think about the logistics of this.
Any suggestions?
I could torture him with bebop, make him watch Mae West Films, while I painted his toe nails crackled purple.

~Noor

 

[lovetoread]

Dearest Laurel,

4 more days.

Love,
LTR