dear laurel

if you shoot my dog, i'm going to break into your house, take all of your alcohol and put you in the 72 hour drunk tank where you will detox all of that shit out of you, while rolling around in your own bodily waste. just warning.
 
if you shoot my dog, i'm going to break into your house, take all of your alcohol and put you in the 72 hour drunk tank where you will detox all of that shit out of you, while rolling around in your own bodily waste. just warning.

Hell, let's do it anyway, even if he doesn't shoot the dog, follow me, I know the way ;)
 
Dear Laurel,

Why can't I stay mad with Byron?
Anyone else would be in a totem pole by now.

Very puzzled,
Noor :confused:
 
Dear Laura

Thanks for not dusting this thread with your super napalm mod powers.
 
Dear Laurel,

I just got up. Which is weird cause I'm usually up by 4.

I'm gonna need some caffeine.

Love,
LTR
 
Dearest Laurel,

I'm absolutely freezing. I've been sitting here on the sofa thinking I should turn on the heat. Then I thought I should maybe go get a sweat shirt. Then I saw a quilt on the chair across the room.

As it turns out, I'm very comfortable and don't want to get up. Do you have the number for someone I can call to bring me the quilt?

Wait... never mind. The phone is out of reach.

Eternally,

Johnny.
 
Dear LTR,

Hope you had a nice sleep! :rose:

Love,

Laurel

*

Dear Johnny,

Just stay right there. Spring and summer are just around the corner.

Love,

Laurel
 
Dear Laurel,

I've now spent the last 10 minutes thinking about your pooper.

What is this power you have over me?


Yours while squirming in my seat,

Islandman
 
Dear Laurel,

if you can get Thumper into some assless chaps I would so appreciate it.

Love,
LTR
 
Dear I-man

It's a strange power. My friend's special power is a Beautiful Face that entrances all she meets. I'm blessed with an Entrancing Butthole & Pudendum. I used to think it was a bummer till I found out that she gets hit on by cashiers, co-workers, her dentist, etc. Those guys don't (usually) see my nether-regions, so I'm safe and unbothered. Like Clark Kent, in a way.

Loving the caffeine today,

Laurel
 
Dear laurel,

If I start an assless chaps thread would you contribute?

Ever hopeful,
Yoss
 
Dear Yoss,

Once I purchase a pair, absoloootely. But only if you do as well. :devil:

Perving,

Laurel
 
Dear LTR,

I will find someone to hem a pair for you. Your ass definitely needs to be in assless chaps. :rose:

Lovingly,
Yoss
 
Dear Laurel.

It has come to my attention that you put the squash on any threads that have over 5,000 postings.

In return for that I have decided that I am not going to bring you breakfast in bed, do the grocery shopping, cook, clean, do the laundry or any more housework.

Sincerely, a liberated male.
 
Dear Laurel,

This hotel coffee is weak at best. I need a strong cuppa joe in the morning.

:heart:
Mona
 
dear laurel,

good afternoon/morning :rose:

back to work tomorrow
i'll miss the extra time here.
*sighs*
 
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