G
Guest
Guest
September 13, 2004
4:45 a.m.
Dear Jogger-Person,
I wanted to take this opportunity to congratulate you on your dedication to your health. I know that in these times of health awareness that many people are turning to exercise to attain a longer life span.
I can appreciate the fact that you may be a busy person and must jog/run at odd times, however, I would be so greatful if you would please not run by my window at 4:30 a.m.
I don't know who or what you are. I, being an adult, must assume you are human but the sound you make whilst running negates these responsible ideals. At first I thought you were a horse because the sound you make is much like that of a horseshoe against cement. Ofcourse this is a silly thought.
I then began to wonder, could you possibly be a Centaur and I am being thrust into mythology against my will? If you are, you must be a female Centaur because your tread is light. No, no, no...I am too silly for words.
I caught sight of you as you traipsed around the corner. You definitely only have two legs. Well, you have one leg and one prosthetic. One, metal spring prothetic leg. How awesome that you have over come a disability. Please know how proud I am for you!
HOWEVER, if you run past my house before 5 a.m. again, I will be forced to hunt you down and steal your prosthetic leg and if I am not totally blinded with rage I will return it with a rubber sole...I can not promise you that I will not hit you over the head until you die. Children will make up horror stories to tell around campfires about your horrid and tragic death. They will speak of a woman who walks the streets of Noank with a spring loaded prosthetic foot as her weapon of mass destruction.
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I am sure you will head my advice.
Sincerely,
Vella
(glue factory president)
4:45 a.m.
Dear Jogger-Person,
I wanted to take this opportunity to congratulate you on your dedication to your health. I know that in these times of health awareness that many people are turning to exercise to attain a longer life span.
I can appreciate the fact that you may be a busy person and must jog/run at odd times, however, I would be so greatful if you would please not run by my window at 4:30 a.m.
I don't know who or what you are. I, being an adult, must assume you are human but the sound you make whilst running negates these responsible ideals. At first I thought you were a horse because the sound you make is much like that of a horseshoe against cement. Ofcourse this is a silly thought.
I then began to wonder, could you possibly be a Centaur and I am being thrust into mythology against my will? If you are, you must be a female Centaur because your tread is light. No, no, no...I am too silly for words.
I caught sight of you as you traipsed around the corner. You definitely only have two legs. Well, you have one leg and one prosthetic. One, metal spring prothetic leg. How awesome that you have over come a disability. Please know how proud I am for you!
HOWEVER, if you run past my house before 5 a.m. again, I will be forced to hunt you down and steal your prosthetic leg and if I am not totally blinded with rage I will return it with a rubber sole...I can not promise you that I will not hit you over the head until you die. Children will make up horror stories to tell around campfires about your horrid and tragic death. They will speak of a woman who walks the streets of Noank with a spring loaded prosthetic foot as her weapon of mass destruction.
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I am sure you will head my advice.
Sincerely,
Vella
(glue factory president)