Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

My team looks bad!!! Can we please protect the quarterback, offensive line? You look so horrible!!!

Curious as to what miss shine wants to do...

Wondering why our fav bullshit artist is back... I mean I know, but good grief already.

This game is making my head hurt... or maybe that is the alcohol? :rolleyes:

Til next time,

Aggravated and fuzzy headed Mountaineer fan
 
Dear Diary,

I was trying to remember my Moms coking when I was growing up. There was one particular item that I remember and it brings a smile to my face. Sadly they don't make it anymore:

http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/3475/hotslutfrankandstuff.jpg

I wish Hormel stil sold their Frank N' Stuff Hot Dogs because I know what a strain on your wrist it is now a days shoveling that shit shooting chili onto your hot dogs. I mean in a world of making things easier I cannot imagine how this luscious treat was discontinued.

I mean what could be any better then nuking that dog stuffed with chili. The idea of slipping it between a bun. LOoking at that delicious morsel then taking the first bite. Then throwing it across the room as the roof of your mouth is literally skinned off due to the piping hot chili directly scorching it. The teeth digging into the dog as chili squirts out like sprinkler. There really was nothing like those third degree mouth burns. I truly believe MOms love you the bestest and the Frank N' Stuff dinner proved that to me.
 
Dear Diary,

My team looks bad!!! Can we please protect the quarterback, offensive line? You look so horrible!!!

Curious as to what miss shine wants to do...

Wondering why our fav bullshit artist is back... I mean I know, but good grief already.

This game is making my head hurt... or maybe that is the alcohol? :rolleyes:

Til next time,

Aggravated and fuzzy headed Mountaineer fan


I don't really think you want to know what I was thinking. LMAO.
 
Dear Diary,

I am actually going to my first game at ou today. I was invited by my wife's cousin who I am good friends with. He knows I am a college football fan, he also knows I graduated from his arch enemy UT. This is one of the games of the week and since they are playing the Florida St. Seminoles I was pretty pumped when he invited me out.

The only condition is that I can't actively root for FSU nor root against ou. There in lies my problem. I HATE ou with a passion. I don't use the word HATE very much but I HATE ou with a passion. So it is going to be very difficult to quell my cheers and groans as the game is being played.

I do have one concern though, Will I burst into flames as soon as I walk through the stadium gates??? Do they make fire retardent sun screen? Will the ticket taker at the gate have any clue as to how to rip the ticket properly when I get there? Will all the seats in the stadium be a special needs section?
Will there be sippy cups served with all beverages? Will my hotdogs be chopped up in little pieces to make sure none of the ou fans or myself choke?
Will my IQ drop any being close to all those Pete Rose Hairdoo people that call themselves sooners? Will I be arrested for breaking the fingers of every persn that puts their horns down even though they are playing FSU?

These are my concerns. Please protect me as I go on this adventure through Jerry's Kids world.
 
LOL



Only b/c we've probably already talked about it. :p

yes, more than likely ;)

Dear Diary,

Where the crap is my motivation to get anything done today? Such a dreary day here... perfect for lounging in bed all day... well if I had someone to lounge around with that is... sigh...

feeling kinda blah
 
yes, more than likely ;)

Dear Diary,

Where the crap is my motivation to get anything done today? Such a dreary day here... perfect for lounging in bed all day... well if I had someone to lounge around with that is... sigh...

feeling kinda blah

Don't feel blah!!!!!!!!!!!

*hugs*
 
Don't feel blah!!!!!!!!!!!

*hugs*

Thanks Ms Shine!!! I feel so tired, had some weird dreams last night. Im getting sick and feel pretty crappy and I have so many things I am supposed to go do today and I just want to bum around the house and relax.
 
Dear Diary,

I wish I could find a good source of blood. Having to suck it directly from another person's veins is so very gauche. You would think some clever individual out there would develop an artificial substitute that would work as well for me as the real thing. Ah! The lovely life-giving red liquid! One day I will get busted for breaking into the blood bank and stealing what I need.

These are the troubling things I think about as I settle off to sleep - snuggling down into the native soil that lines my comfy coffin.
 
what is a slippery nipple ?

I think it's a shot. Well, that was the name of the shot I took a while ago.

Dear Diary,
I've just realised that I'm so over partying and drinking. To think at only 19 I would be experimenting more, but I seem to have lost my buzz. Either that or I just REALLY need to re-evaluate things. Or I might just need help lol. Rant over.

The End.
 
Dear Diary,

I am scared:

http://img832.imageshack.us/img832/3255/younastyassfucksicantri.jpg


I am scared because I hope to find a love as pure and innocent as theirs is. I mean look at the smile on the old bat. His goatee has to be causing shivers down her legs everytime he goes head first under her mumuu. The fact that her ovaries are still producing lets me know just what kind of special lady she really is.

I just pray she is drinking lots of milk because the last thing they both need is an emergency room visit after he puts her legs over his shoulders and they both dislocate from her hip. She will be 90 when their kid graduates from highschool. That will be a special year for both of them.

I was concerned about diaper changing but since he is already changing hers he shouldnt have too much of a problem with the baby's as well. Their family tree will not branch out much more then this after he has married his Grandma.

Don't get me wrong I loved my grandmas when they were both still alive but the thought of either one of them spreading their legs for anyone gives me the biggest douche chills. They say love has no boundaries. These two have proven it to be true.

I want to get them a baby shower gift, but I am waiting to see what ailments that poor kid is gonna have prior to wasting my money on some over priced gift from Babies R Us.
 
Dear Diary,

I am scared:

http://img832.imageshack.us/img832/3255/younastyassfucksicantri.jpg


I am scared because I hope to find a love as pure and innocent as theirs is. I mean look at the smile on the old bat. His goatee has to be causing shivers down her legs everytime he goes head first under her mumuu. The fact that her ovaries are still producing lets me know just what kind of special lady she really is.

I just pray she is drinking lots of milk because the last thing they both need is an emergency room visit after he puts her legs over his shoulders and they both dislocate from her hip. She will be 90 when their kid graduates from highschool. That will be a special year for both of them.

I was concerned about diaper changing but since he is already changing hers he shouldnt have too much of a problem with the baby's as well. Their family tree will not branch out much more then this after he has married his Grandma.

Don't get me wrong I loved my grandmas when they were both still alive but the thought of either one of them spreading their legs for anyone gives me the biggest douche chills. They say love has no boundaries. These two have proven it to be true.

I want to get them a baby shower gift, but I am waiting to see what ailments that poor kid is gonna have prior to wasting my money on some over priced gift from Babies R Us.


You are so sick and twisted. I just adore you!
 
Awwwww flatterer ;)

Dear Diary,

After reading the above entry I just can't get this song out of my head, "My wife and my grandma are one in the same. When we got married she kept her last name."

Make it stop please.
 
Dear Diary,

I am worried about my dog. He has been spending a lot of time in his dog house and everytime I look in there he is on his back looking up. I have to kick him just to make sure he is alive. It wet on for a few days before i noticed a picture taped to the roof of his house. Yeah I thought the same thing as well. Dogs don't have opposable thumbs how the hell did he get tape on the picture and then put it up there but he did. I scanned the picture:

http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/7350/openhostpuggy.jpg

No wonder he is so lazy or maybe he is hurt. Maybe he didn't see who was sniffing and licking his ass because apparently his new girlfriend can do it from a mile or two away. Maybe she is overly aggressive with him and he doesn't know how to handle it. I am not sure actually but I can tell you he just isn't the same.

He is walking bow legged now. If you watch him walk away from you he looks like Cliff Clavin from cheers. Just waddling towards his bed. Now he just lays there almost comotose like he has been abused by a predator. Now seeing the piece of meat this women behold I suppose he has been violated and sadly without even knowing who did it since all he could see was tongue.

Hey Fifi. Just because you can tongue your own ass doesn't give you the power to violate my dog over and over. Keep that monstrousity to yourself please and leave Mac alone. He used to be a fun loving happy dog and now he is a former shell of himself.

I am just unsure what to do. He is even too sore to drag his ass across the carpet like he used to do. I feel bad for him and I blame you Fifi.
 
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