Dealing with Mental Illness

[cookiejar]

*bump because it's a great thread*

 

[Adrraiya]

Bump... how is everyone?

 

[Apryl]

I had a couple of nervous breakdowns just within a couple of months of one another. They diagnosed me with bipolar disease , depression, anxiety, agoraphobia plus a few other things. This has been very hard for me to handle because I was always the strong one in the family and admitting that I am weak is hard to do. I go to the shrink once a month and the therapist twice a month and that really seems to help me keep it together.

 

[Adrraiya]

I had a couple of nervous breakdowns just within a couple of months of one another. They diagnosed me with bipolar disease , depression, anxiety, agoraphobia plus a few other things. This has been very hard for me to handle because I was always the strong one in the family and admitting that I am weak is hard to do. I go to the shrink once a month and the therapist twice a month and that really seems to help me keep it together.

The hind-sight view of being the strong on in the family is also that you have held the world on your shoulders... and sometimes that can be too much....

I feel for you.... I am 8 years out from my breakdown... and the fall from Family-Glue-Provider to Family-Fuck-Up (from their perspective) is still difficult for me

Most of us are raised almost like wolf-pack... rather than support the weak... it is run the off, run them out, get rid of them..... and, I think, because of that... it can be nearly impossible to willingly accept one's own weaknesses & often-time the perceived weaknesses of others

Try to look at it like this:

There was a little Caterpillar...
who had no choice
but to climb a tree
and build a web
so that he could become something he didn't know

Do you think it hurts the caterpillar to become the butterfly?


and maybe... maybe the fall from the pillar of the Family-Strength... to the point of allowing someone else (or no one) to take... then allows you the room and the space you need to morph into a butterfly

 

[clearlight30]

Doubt is the constant shadowy whisper in the back of my mind. Telling me that I am not good enough, that I am ugly and fat and no woman can find me attractive. Telling me that I am stupid and lazy and so cannot ever hope to achieve anything of success. This voice tells me that I am so strange and odd that no one can ever understand me or welcome me into their life.

I know that others among you hear this voice. It tells you that hope is the enemy and despair speaks only truth. It lies to you. To us. Don't listen.

Hi needful
oh yes i know about this voice....
and you are right- all it does it lie, that's its job- and it does it very well

for me the trick began over 15 years ago when i began to see how loud, strong and powerful this voice has become. to see how mean and manipulative i had become because of it. i no longer wanted to be here

something- an outside force- wanted me to look deeper for more. is this a natural human voice- one we are supposed to have? if not, where does it come from? is is possible to be rid of the voice? what would i be like without it?

of course the voice is trying to cover up sommething in our past that we don't want to have to look at and deal with. in my case there were- and still are- deep traumatic expereinces that have an effect on my day to day life, moment to moment sometimes. but the more i can learn about and accept those events as occured, and to accept with the "sometimes" ugly ways they have manifested in my word of actions- the more energy there seems to be to just not allow "the voice" to manifest.

its also a work to remember what is powerful, and is a gift within us- and not let that die out (the voice is trying to get us to lose our power of course) so to work to regain what is truly ours and powerful also is an important step to a new level. we can deal with, and weaken the voice- as long as we don't forget our own powers and gifts along the way....

wishing everyone who drops by well
its a journey we walk, sometimes not all that fun
the trick is- to just not give up- no matter what gets thrown at you- if you give up, "the voice" wins...

 

[Needfull Thing]

Hi needful
oh yes i know about this voice....
and you are right- all it does it lie, that's its job- and it does it very well

for me the trick began over 15 years ago when i began to see how loud, strong and powerful this voice has become. to see how mean and manipulative i had become because of it. i no longer wanted to be here

something- an outside force- wanted me to look deeper for more. is this a natural human voice- one we are supposed to have? if not, where does it come from? is is possible to be rid of the voice? what would i be like without it?

of course the voice is trying to cover up sommething in our past that we don't want to have to look at and deal with. in my case there were- and still are- deep traumatic expereinces that have an effect on my day to day life, moment to moment sometimes. but the more i can learn about and accept those events as occured, and to accept with the "sometimes" ugly ways they have manifested in my word of actions- the more energy there seems to be to just not allow "the voice" to manifest.

its also a work to remember what is powerful, and is a gift within us- and not let that die out (the voice is trying to get us to lose our power of course) so to work to regain what is truly ours and powerful also is an important step to a new level. we can deal with, and weaken the voice- as long as we don't forget our own powers and gifts along the way....

wishing everyone who drops by well
its a journey we walk, sometimes not all that fun
the trick is- to just not give up- no matter what gets thrown at you- if you give up, "the voice" wins...

*applauds* Damned Straight.

 

[Beth87]

I read the suicide note of the princeton guy today. It makes me so sad that no-one was able to support him. Sending extra special hugs to everyone who needs them

 

[CaliGuy60]

I read the suicide note of the princeton guy today. It makes me so sad that no-one was able to support him. Sending extra special hugs to everyone who needs them

Yes, that note moved me quite a lot as well. It just shows you what happens if you keep things inside and dwell on them and never let them out. It drives you crazy as the distance between what's going on in your head and reality grows.

 

[Beth87]

Not having a great time of it today. Just needed to say that somewhere

 

[Daizie]

Not having a great time of it today. Just needed to say that somewhere

{{hugs}} We're here for you.

 

[TheCarver]

I get to deal with a few issues everyday and like the author, mine started at age 9 or 10. That was almost 40 years ago. Bipolarism was in its infant stage and instead of being diagnosed with a mental condition, I was labeled as a problem child. No reference to ACDC.

Much later in life, after years of alcohol abuse and I don't know how many bouts of suicide, I found a doctor who actually cared. It turns out that I have dislothymia (a form of bipolarism) PTSD, and a raging case of manic depression. Once the labels were found, meds became the next problem.

I spent 4 maybe 5 years looking for the meds that would work. I wish I had the time to look back on Lit because I started posting in 2001. It would be interesting to see the different stages I went through and what meds affected me how.

Now I am on two meds that help. Not cure, but they do help. I no longer drink but I do smoke regularly. I still have my days and sometimes its still hard to get out of bed or look in the mirror (brings back the feelings of insecurity) but on the whole picture, I am so much better.

My point in all of this is that while there are cases of depression, anxiety, bipolarism, and others that can be treated very successfully, they never go completely away. The best option for anyone who suffers from mental illness is to see a doctor about it and then another, and then another. Simply seeing one doctor and then hoping for a good diagnosis is a crap shoot. Same thing goes for meds. Find the one that works for you. Sometimes it takes a while. I went through 6 or so before I found one that worked.

I wish everyone the best with what ever the condition is and I hope everyone finds some sort of relief.

 

[Needfull Thing]

I get to deal with a few issues everyday and like the author, mine started at age 9 or 10. That was almost 40 years ago. Bipolarism was in its infant stage and instead of being diagnosed with a mental condition, I was labeled as a problem child. No reference to ACDC.

Much later in life, after years of alcohol abuse and I don't know how many bouts of suicide, I found a doctor who actually cared. It turns out that I have dislothymia (a form of bipolarism) PTSD, and a raging case of manic depression. Once the labels were found, meds became the next problem.

I spent 4 maybe 5 years looking for the meds that would work. I wish I had the time to look back on Lit because I started posting in 2001. It would be interesting to see the different stages I went through and what meds affected me how.

Now I am on two meds that help. Not cure, but they do help. I no longer drink but I do smoke regularly. I still have my days and sometimes its still hard to get out of bed or look in the mirror (brings back the feelings of insecurity) but on the whole picture, I am so much better.

My point in all of this is that while there are cases of depression, anxiety, bipolarism, and others that can be treated very successfully, they never go completely away. The best option for anyone who suffers from mental illness is to see a doctor about it and then another, and then another. Simply seeing one doctor and then hoping for a good diagnosis is a crap shoot. Same thing goes for meds. Find the one that works for you. Sometimes it takes a while. I went through 6 or so before I found one that worked.

I wish everyone the best with what ever the condition is and I hope everyone finds some sort of relief.

Thank you for this post. We have to remember that the mind is a fragile thing. It can be put through only so much before it scars and those scars can run deep. I think most of us are broken in some fashion.

But that doesn't mean its time to lay down and die. Keep getting up and walking, no matter the ton of bricks they hit you with.