Dealing with a cold fish...

[Meridian_Child]

Ok, my dilemma for awhile was this:

I was really into this girl. She was sweet, pretty, and a lot of fun to be around (classic qualities, yeah). Anyway, after a few months we started having sex, but it wasn't all that great (I had another lover who was phenominal, but that ended sourly...). At first I figured that it was because she wasn't all that experienced, so we tried different things, different positions, books, etc, but in the end there was no improvement. At first I thought it was because sometimes she wasn't really in the mood for it mentally despite saying she was (when you've been with someone for awhile, you can read them well). Then I tossed it up to depression and how it can affect sex drive, but then there were times where she'd be into it, but it still wasn't all that great.

This eventually spread into our non-physical relationship and we went our separate ways.

Basically, what I wish to know is, what can one do to help a cold fish evolve into something warmer?

 

[deliciea]

babe not alot maybe fry it in a pan but when most are like that it can mean alot of things i.e bad past hurt before the way a person was raised alot of thing wish I could help but that is the best I can do for you

 

[Meridian_Child]

I've had a lot of thoughts and ideas, and even for awhile, I thought it may have been something about me, but it really is something about her (even she's owned up to it). She's not a bad person, which is why I want to help, but I guess there really isn't much I can do.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

if she'd been abused or assaulted that might account for it.

 

[Meridian_Child]

No, none of those. The only thing that seems to make any sense would be either depression, or just a natural lack of a sex drive and imagination, both of which would suck.

 

[lilpriss]

Apparently, the two of you just didn't mesh... to another she may be the hottest thing since Tabasco.

Not to bust your ego, but you may not have impressed her all that much either... which is a big motivator in whether or not we women folk want to change.

Sad but true... everything happens for a reason.

 

[Meridian_Child]

I was about to say that actually. That maybe we weren't in sync and thus things have gone in this direction.

 

[Horny Hippie Girl]

I agree that sometimes it is matter of the two people in question just not being in sync, drive wise, but sometimes there are things that can help recover a slacking drive. For instance, herbal suppliments can really make a difference. My husband and I have slightly different drives that have become more different the longer we are together...Mainly due to aging, I think. I am closing in on my sexual peak, where as he is losing his drive little by little as time goes on. We have found that herbal suppliments of Siberian Ginseng, and/or Yohimbi, and/or Horny Goat Weed really make a difference in his drive. There are a lot of suppliments on the market that are 100% natural and effective for this sort of problem. I highly recommend trying a few out and seeing how they work for you. Most have an almost immediate effect on the user. Siberian Ginseng, however, is the sort of thing that needs to be taken daily to build up a level of the herb in the user's system, for optimal effect.