Deadly consent: Bondage death raises legal issues

[Never]

LYNN, Massachusetts (AP) -- Adrian Exley was wrapped tightly in heavy plastic, then bound with duct tape. A leather hood was put over his head with a thin plastic straw inserted so that he could breathe, and he was shut up in a closet.

That, apparently, was the way Exley liked it. But the way it ended -- with Exley suffocating -- was not what he had in mind when he traveled from Britain for a bondage session with a man he had met through a sadomasochism Web site.

Exley's body was discovered in the woods last year, two months after he was bound up in the bondage "playroom" Gary LeBlanc had built in the basement of his suburban Boston home.

LeBlanc, a 48-year-old Gulf Oil sales executive, detailed his responsibility in the fatal bondage session in a five-page suicide note, just before he put a gun to his head and killed himself.

Now the question is: Since Exley consented to the sex play, can LeBlanc be held responsible for his death?

Exley's family is suing LeBlanc's estate for unspecified damages, claiming wrongful death. Many bondage enthusiasts are watching the case closely, seeing it as a lesson in where to draw the line of responsibility on consensual but dangerous sex.

"There's definitely the whole spectrum of thought on what really happened -- whether it was a consent issue, or negligence or misunderstanding," said Vivienne Kramer, a board member of the New England Leather Alliance. "Everybody has their own ideas on what should have happened."

CNN link

It's good to see that the speaker for the NE Leather Alliance is spineless. Yeah, everyone has their own ideas on what should have happened -- and everyone agrees Adrian should be alive right now. The idea that consent has anything to do with this is utter bullshit, since when is consenting to bondage the same as consenting to being suffocated to death and having your naked body tossed into the woods?

Given that LeBlanc has already killed himself, I'm not certain what Adrian's mother wants with his estate. Maybe she wants to piss on his house and torch it to the ground. As no surviving family is named, I say give it to her, and I hope LeBlanc enjoys a brief stint in hell.

 

[reignophelia]

.....

 

[catalina_francisco]

Consent was given, they both knew the risks, and obviously neither were that up on their safety hence he was left alone to die. Never ceases to amaze me the amount of times this very basic bondage rule is abused, and then when things go wrong the spotlight shone on the issue of consent instead of on the issue of playing safely and with 2 intelligent brains switched on despite the thrill factor.

I also never get why surviving relatives then move to the financial option to supposedly help them recover from the loss of a loved one. If it were one of my children who had died, all the money in the universe wouldn't ease the pain, nor replace them, so why does money even come into it? Perhaps because our contemporary society is so entwined in worshipping money and power instead of less tangible aspects of humanity. Sad. To me it is like profiting from the death of a loved one and I find that distasteful.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

To me it shows our insanity around sex.

Two guys get together on the sly and do something dangerous. Charter a fishing boat for the sake of argument. Agree to go out in a storm, it was everyone's idea.

Guy fishing dies, guy driving lives, then offs himself from the guilt. I'm sure there's just as good a lawsuit there for the drivers "stuff."

 

[Betticus]

Consent was given, they both knew the risks, and obviously neither were that up on their safety hence he was left alone to die. Never ceases to amaze me the amount of times this very basic bondage rule is abused, and then when things go wrong the spotlight shone on the issue of consent instead of on the issue of playing safely and with 2 intelligent brains switched on despite the thrill factor.

I also never get why surviving relatives then move to the financial option to supposedly help them recover from the loss of a loved one. If it were one of my children who had died, all the money in the universe wouldn't ease the pain, nor replace them, so why does money even come into it? Perhaps because our contemporary society is so entwined in worshipping money and power instead of less tangible aspects of humanity. Sad. To me it is like profiting from the death of a loved one and I find that distasteful.

Catalina

I can see the money issue. What if Exley had children who are now left without support or some other kind of family that he was financially supporting?

I don't see the speaker from the leather as being spineless so much as being careful of what she says on the issue, trying to be non-judgmental in an issue where all of the specific details are not known.

This LeBlanc guy is obviously on the hook for at least negligent homicide as Mr. Exley died due to his negligence. That is one actual fact. Mr LeBlanc also dumped the body instead of calling for help. I do believe it's illegal to do that. So Mr. LeBlanc suicided instead of coming forward.

They are going to pick this one apart more than likely. Did LeBlanc receive any kind of training in this manner of bondage and/or safety, if he did who trained him and what are their qualifications. The questions could go on and on.

Either way, they both fucked up and they both are now deceased. It's very sad and could have been avoided.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I can see the money issue. What if Exley had children who are now left without support or some other kind of family that he was financially supporting?

I don't see the speaker from the leather as being spineless so much as being careful of what she says on the issue, trying to be non-judgmental in an issue where all of the specific details are not known.

This LeBlanc guy is obviously on the hook for at least negligent homicide as Mr. Exley died due to his negligence. That is one actual fact. Mr LeBlanc also dumped the body instead of calling for help. I do believe it's illegal to do that. So Mr. LeBlanc suicided instead of coming forward.

They are going to pick this one apart more than likely. Did LeBlanc receive any kind of training in this manner of bondage and/or safety, if he did who trained him and what are their qualifications. The questions could go on and on.

Either way, they both fucked up and they both are now deceased. It's very sad and could have been avoided.

I have no problem if there were children who needed financial support which was no longer there, but as it is his mother suing and he was a 32 yo gay male stripper, it doesn't seem that is the motivation. I just am tired of a society which measures everything in dollar amounts, especially in the US. You fall over in a shopping center or lightly burn your tongue drinking a cup of take away coffee, and the first thing they do is rush for a lawyer to see what money they can get etc., etc. It is ridiculous, and IMHO actually devalues life and people by making everything which goes wrong in a person's life, even accidents, an opportunity for a buck to be made from it. People need to begin taking responsibility for their own decisions and choices in many circumstances instead of looking for opportunistic gain.

Money cannot buy happiness, nor can it bring back someone from the dead....more power if it could. As it reads, this woman seems to think it is revenge on the guy she holds solely responsible for her son's death...hello, the guy is also dead now so where is the revenge by getting his money, and unfortunately, she will still have to deal with her pain in a more productive way somewhere in the future...perhaps the other guy had a family too, who knows? Sounds like the Brit was just more unlucky than a long line of people who had not gotten to know more about what they were getting into and with whom before consenting...there is the real lesson.

Catalina

 

[Homburg]

I I just am tired of a society which measures everything in dollar amounts, especially in the US. You fall over in a shopping center or lightly burn your tongue drinking a cup of take away coffee, and the first thing they do is rush for a lawyer to see what money they can get etc., etc.

I work in the insurance industry, and I see this every day. Drives me crazy. And then people wonder why their rates are going up?

 

[graceanne]

I have no problem if there were children who needed financial support which was no longer there, but as it is his mother suing and he was a 32 yo gay male stripper, it doesn't seem that is the motivation. I just am tired of a society which measures everything in dollar amounts, especially in the US. You fall over in a shopping center or lightly burn your tongue drinking a cup of take away coffee, and the first thing they do is rush for a lawyer to see what money they can get etc., etc. It is ridiculous, and IMHO actually devalues life and people by making everything which goes wrong in a person's life, even accidents, an opportunity for a buck to be made from it. People need to begin taking responsibility for their own decisions and choices in many circumstances instead of looking for opportunistic gain.

Money cannot buy happiness, nor can it bring back someone from the dead....more power if it could. As it reads, this woman seems to think it is revenge on the guy she holds solely responsible for her son's death...hello, the guy is also dead now so where is the revenge by getting his money, and unfortunately, she will still have to deal with her pain in a more productive way somewhere in the future...perhaps the other guy had a family too, who knows? Sounds like the Brit was just more unlucky than a long line of people who had not gotten to know more about what they were getting into and with whom before consenting...there is the real lesson.

Catalina

Hear, hear!

 

[Betticus]

Unfortunately here in the U.S. there has been this ongoing shift in our society that is teaching people from a very young age that the are not responsible for their own actions.

We've been inundated with the concept of shifting blame and stealing glory.

If you kill, rape, assault someone it's not your fault as you had a traumatic papercut when you were six or so.

About the only thing so far that we haven't really been able to shift responsibility away for as far as the punishment phase of the law regards is child rape and tax evasion. And trust me, if you don't even evade taxes those fuckers will come after you with no holds barred. Taxes I mean. The IRS seems to run the whole country now.

There is still some poor fucker in Oklahoma serving a 99 year sentence for possession of marijuana with intent to distribute. In Oklahoma marijuana grows in your yard if you aren't careful, it's a damn weed. 99 years for smoking grass but you can do 6 for murder and walk away from rape.


All I'm trying to say is that the U.S. has some very serious societal problems and fixing those problems is going be nearly impossible. To make it worse, our fucked up society is now pervasively insinuating itself into other societies around the world.

 

[Betticus]

I also hear that you can end up doing more hard time for downloading a pornographic image of a child than you would do if you actually raped a child.

In the good old U.S.A.

 

[midwestyankee]

I also hear that you can end up doing more hard time for downloading a pornographic image of a child than you would do if you actually raped a child.

In the good old U.S.A.

Not to change the subject (much), but to the extent that this is true, it was not so before January 20 of 2001.

 

[Betticus]

Not to change the subject (much), but to the extent that this is true, it was not so before January 20 of 2001.

From what I've heard... A buddy of mine at work wouldn't let his 15 year old daughter date some asshole drug dealer so she called the police and said he had kiddy porn on his computer.

There was a raid, child protective services took the girl and she ran away from the shelter to stay with her boyfriend whos mother managed to get the state to let her stay with them. They took every electronic device, computer, hard drive, cameras, dvd's, cd's, trashed his whole home. He wasn't booked but they kept everything for over a year while the investigation was going on. His daughter and boyfriend ended up running to Las Vegas and shacked up with some of his drug related buddies who took the girl and prostituted her, street level which means she was getting fucked by the lowest of the low lifes. The local sheriffs dept. took her off of the missing child national listing once they figured out that the fucked up and a kid used the system. The parents had to get the Vegas D.A. to issue an arrest warrent on the girl for filing a false police report of all things as the locals wouldn't help at all and wanted out of it.

They found nothing, not even a hint of adult porn let alone anything illegal. The daughter got picked up by Vegas P.D. and returned home just before her 18th birthday and her bf followed her back and now she has his baby, he doesn't work at all and has substance abuse problems.

He's still ass deep in debt from the legal fees.

One thing he did learn about it all was that the federal government throws out lots of cash at police departments and the state to pursue and prosecute "Internet" child porn. There isn't such an incentive to pursue non internet or computer related child abuse. So, they went apeshit trying to nail this guy for a computer crime which nets them a lot of federal money.

Also, his families life will never be the same even though everyone knows it was all bullshit just the accusation has done a lot of damage to his credibility.

The daughter learned absolutely nothing and blames the parents for not letting her just fuck the boy and trying to be parents.

Also, same kid got a high school teacher fired by saying he "looked" at her in a sexual way.

One cop locally tried to help and he got blacklisted by his superiours and had to move and take a job in another state. The Sheriffs dept. detective in charge got transferred to some shit town in the hills over it.

It's fucking crazy in this country.

 

[Etoile]

You should always tape the straw to the person's hood. Duh.

 

[Pure]

nice postings, betticus,

there are some fucking crazy laws around that reflect various rt wing moral agendas, in cluding the 'war on drugs' and the 'war on internet child porn'.

as you say, ordinary rapes and murders often get a 'walk,' but Dr. Al Arian, in Florida who helped some muslims set up a website, get pursued and 'outed' by Fox news, which pressures the university into firing him without due process, and succeeds in having him prosecuted:

http://jurist.law.pitt.edu/paperchase/2003/02/background-on-palestinian-usf.php

similar story:
ohio

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B06E4D9113AF934A15757C0A9629C8B63


since the alleged reason to prosecute child porn is that children are hurt, one would think of obvious limitations, e.g. artists' drawings from imagination. but in this part of the world, an artist, Eli Langer was arrested for sketches in his journals (from imagination).

http://www.mercerunion.org/archive95/348.html

he said they reflected his abusive past. it took over a year to clear him.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Unfortunately here in the U.S. there has been this ongoing shift in our society that is teaching people from a very young age that the are not responsible for their own actions.

We've been inundated with the concept of shifting blame and stealing glory.

If you kill, rape, assault someone it's not your fault as you had a traumatic papercut when you were six or so.

About the only thing so far that we haven't really been able to shift responsibility away for as far as the punishment phase of the law regards is child rape and tax evasion. And trust me, if you don't even evade taxes those fuckers will come after you with no holds barred. Taxes I mean. The IRS seems to run the whole country now.

There is still some poor fucker in Oklahoma serving a 99 year sentence for possession of marijuana with intent to distribute. In Oklahoma marijuana grows in your yard if you aren't careful, it's a damn weed. 99 years for smoking grass but you can do 6 for murder and walk away from rape.


All I'm trying to say is that the U.S. has some very serious societal problems and fixing those problems is going be nearly impossible. To make it worse, our fucked up society is now pervasively insinuating itself into other societies around the world.

Diamond post Betticus...and unfortunately the UK and Oz are on the same bandwagon with many things. What gets me is the incosistency also. I was reading a few days ago about a case in Oz with a former school teacher who had repeatedly raped and threatened, intimidated and assaulted quite a few of his female students over a couple of years. He got 12 months of actual jail term because they said he had already been locked away for 5 months...how do they figure even 12 months is enough when they are continually on about child sex crimes and how hard they are going to come down on people for it, and the silly dude who has something on his PC (which might be just from a pop-up and not of his doing) gets locked away for years without ever approaching or touching a child? It just doesn't add up to me.

Catalina

 

[doveofserenity]

This was the part of the CNN link previously posted that caught my attention.


"Several people who came forward after Exley's death told police that LeBlanc had restrained them and left them alone for long periods, or ignored their requests that he curtail a bondage session.

Both actions go against the bondage protocols, which say participants must stop if their partner uses a prearranged "safe word" or "safe signal" and must not leave anyone who is bound alone, said Susan Wright, a spokeswoman for the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom."


With other people stepping forward, saying that LeBlanc had done the same thing to them during their sessions with him; that shows lack of responsibility on LeBlanc's part.

IMHO, LeBlanc is responsible for the death of Exley; and since he killed himself; then the estate is to be held accountable.

If the money asked for is to help with Exleys burial expenses or tombstone, fine; grant them the money asked. Or if Exley had outstanding expenses that still needed to be paid off.

But money will never heal a families grief over a "Loved Ones" loss. That can only be done with time. And money cannot buy time. So if thats the only reason for the money, don't grant it.

IMHO

 

[Tuomas]

Interesting how people immediately start dumping all of the nation's ills on only one side of the political spectrum If you are from the right, you bemoan the "mommy-state" for the proliferation of excessive government control; while if you are from the left, it's the fault of "right wing religious groups"...

Anyway, and aside from the whole notion of "wrongful death" suits that really get me weirded out (I mean, is there such a thing as a rightful death? ); if this didn't involve sex, it wouldn't have made the news. I think someone already pointed this out above, actually. Had they been out driving -err, "consensually driving", of course- and been in an accident, where LeBlanc left the dude trapped in the car, then dumped his naked body in the woods ... would there be great concern about riding in cars with other people? I mean, getting into a car with a stranger is putting your life in their hands.. how do you know they weren't drinking? Or high? Or suicidal? Or just very, very bad drivers? We should make car-pooling illegal...