De-eroticization of the penis is causing failing marriages

[Selena_Kitt]

Women don't forget to feed your marriages

oh this cracks me up...

can anyone tell me why no one is talking about the de-eroticization of the penis?? Last time I checked, you guys used it for more than one thing... it's pretty much a multi-tool, right? You use it for procreation, (and recreation) and you also use it for elimination...

In fact, I don't think it's breastfeeding and the non-eroticization of breasts that's causing marriages to fail... it's the penis! I think men should cover up when urinating. No more public urinals, for sure... and definitely close the door! In fact, even the sound of men peeing should be covered up. For god's sake, sit down, guys! I think men should also definitely stop that whole peeing outdoors thing. Quit whipping it out wherever, peeing on the side of the road, in the woods...

Because I know that if I, for one, see a man urinating from that holy, sacred and erotic body part *ahem*... it will immediately decrease my desire for him!

 

[FallingToFly]

Selena....

You've finally cracked, eh?

 

[rgraham666]

Man, it must be nice being able to see the world in such simple terms.

 

[Liar]

For god's sake, sit down, guys! I think men should also definitely stop that whole peeing outdoors thing. Quit whipping it out wherever, peeing on the side of the road, in the woods...

Feh. Don't tell me you've never taken a squat in the shrubbery, woman.

When you gotta go you gotta go. We just got the more convenient plumbing for it. So really. Feh.

Ok, for a serious reply. De-eroticization of the penis? There has always been an over-eroticization of the damn thing. Human society is historically obessed with the cock, the one and only measuring stick (har har) for manliness and virility, and we all walk around beleving that we need a pornstar wurst to succeed in life, when really, any ol' schlong will do the job (all of the jobs) splendidly. So: feh. Imagine what the would could have looked like without that emphasis, and the penis envy it feeds.

 

[Guest]

.....

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I agree somewhat with this guy. Familiarity breeds contempt and kills eroticism. I was there for the birth of my children. I wish I hadn't been.

I mean, I was glad to stand there and comfort my wife as best I could and thought it was my duty, but when the doctor invited me to step around the other side of the sheet and proudly showed me how my wife's ovaries or fallopian tubes or something had become torqued during the caesarian and how he'd put her back together, I was quite honestly traumatized. When the oby-gyny at our previous son's birth told me how he'd sewn up the episiotomy incision so she'd be "nice and tight" again, I wanted to gag.

I'm all for breast feeding too, but I think a little discretion is only common courtesy. You wouldn't change your baby's diapers on a restaurant table. Why breast feed him there and then complain that people are staring?

There is something to be said for keeping the secret parts secret, or at least enhanced by clothing. As far as I'm concerned, nudist camps are probably the unsexiest places on earth. I still can't contribute to the Nude Day Story Contest because I find simple nudity to be anti-erotic.

I think the most common reason men cheat on their spouses is not that they fall out of love, but loss of erotic interest. Whatever contributes to that should be avoided.

 

[3113]

Women don't forget to feed your marriages

Ah. So this is why men in primitive countries (where women go topless and breastfeed in public all the time) have so many wives. They see one wife breastfeeding and then must get a new one.

Gosh. I really wish male infidelity wasn't the fault of women. It makes me feel so guilty all the time. And I'm sure I'd feel even worse if I'd had kids. To know that just being a mom causes a guy to stray....

 

[BlackShanglan]

*laugh*

Someone send this man a copy of Swift's "The Lady's Dressing Room."

At least we have the amusing consolation that the author has managed to out his own mother/wife/utility/sexuality issues in public. Hey, speaking of possible causes for the dissolution of a marriage ...

Shanglan

 

[3113]

This was the best part:

This is not to say that breast-feeding should not be practiced. It is instead to say that it should always remain subordinate to the romantic and passionate needs of a marriage.

So, remember ladies, if your baby is starving, tough. Your husband's erotic desires for you come first. Let the brat do without. Daddy needs some lovin'!

Why do I suspect that this guy has a problem with the attention his wife is giving to his three kids instead of to him?

 

[FallingToFly]

A little less sarcastic than my previous response...

Perhaps the problem isn't with eliminating the wrotic viewpoints of any partner in a relationship.

Perhaps the problem is taking what the word marriage means and changing the definition to: "doing whatever it is that gets the other person to love you passionately" instead of making of it what it should be. People in a commited and compromising relationship, doing what needs to be done for the best of the family, and putting their own personal quibbles aside.

Yeah, I know my husband doesn't get all the sex he craves- sorry, honey, we have children, and bills, and household affairs and chores and jobs. We can't just send the kids to their rooms and jump on each other like rabid animals- and we are so NOT doing that in front of them, ever.

I don't always get what I need from our relationship either. So, shall I pack my bags and take off and find a new place to start this cycle over again? Who takes care of my babies while I do that? Where is the stability they need in that situation?

Maybe the rabbi should stop fathering children long enough to learn that the true meaning of any relationship that may be called a "marriage" is compromise and co-operation, not what happens between the sheets.

Passion fades. Love is an entirely different thing, and it's a much harder, much stonier road than the flimsy thing that sex builds.

 

[jushorny]

A little less sarcastic than my previous response...

Perhaps the problem isn't with eliminating the wrotic viewpoints of any partner in a relationship.

Perhaps the problem is taking what the word marriage means and changing the definition to: "doing whatever it is that gets the other person to love you passionately" instead of making of it what it should be. People in a commited and compromising relationship, doing what needs to be done for the best of the family, and putting their own personal quibbles aside.

Yeah, I know my husband doesn't get all the sex he craves- sorry, honey, we have children, and bills, and household affairs and chores and jobs. We can't just send the kids to their rooms and jump on each other like rabid animals- and we are so NOT doing that in front of them, ever.

I don't always get what I need from our relationship either. So, shall I pack my bags and take off and find a new place to start this cycle over again? Who takes care of my babies while I do that? Where is the stability they need in that situation?

Maybe the rabbi should stop fathering children long enough to learn that the true meaning of any relationship that may be called a "marriage" is compromise and co-operation, not what happens between the sheets.

Passion fades. Love is an entirely different thing, and it's a much harder, much stonier road than the flimsy thing that sex builds.

Beautifully said and in my eyes, so true. Passion can fade but if one has love that grows stronger, thats damn special

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Ah. So this is why men in primitive countries (where women go topless and breastfeed in public all the time) have so many wives. They see one wife breastfeeding and then must get a new one.

Gosh. I really wish male infidelity wasn't the fault of women. It makes me feel so guilty all the time. And I'm sure I'd feel even worse if I'd had kids. To know that just being a mom causes a guy to stray....

But, but, but I love moms.

 

[Liar]

Perhaps the problem is taking what the word marriage means and changing the definition to: "doing whatever it is that gets the other person to love you passionately" instead of making of it what it should be. People in a commited and compromising relationship, doing what needs to be done for the best of the family, and putting their own personal quibbles aside.

Seems like it's a sign of the times. In the 20th century, perople have become more free than ever to choose their own life, their own life partner and their family. More people marry for passion and love, and not for convenince.

Which is all good, if it wasn't for the sky-high expectations. At the same time that we are free to pursue happiness, we're obsessed with perfection. We see it on TV, and it looks so life-like that we fool ourselves into settling for nothing less. When the truth is that nobody will ever really reach that perfection, won't ever find the perfect house, the perfect job, the perfect orgasm with the perfect angel-whore or adonis-demigod of their choise. Because everybody, sooner or later, will fart in bed (or flop out a nursing breast or piss in the wind) and break the spell.

What not enough people seem to realize is that being bored with your life partner and your sex life means that you have a life partner and a sex life. Re-fucking-joice.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

There is NOTHING more important in this world than men getting laid, not even feeding your children.

Face it - men's sexual needs and desires are the most important thing there is. It's what makes the world go round. Without the need to wave a big dick in everyone's face, having the biggest dick, and getting it pleasured in any way its owner wants; we wouldn't have such wonderful inventions as sports cars, stock portfolios, and guns!

What's a baby's health compared to that?

 

[CharleyH]

LOL what a miserable article from a guy who obviously gets none. What a cool psyche paper, though. Great irony in the thread title, Selena - lol.

I disagree 'somewhat' Doc and agree on most things you say. I do get the restaurant thing, though - there is something called a bathroom when I am paying $25.00 an appetizer. "It's natural" say some. I say, "so are man boobs - but do you want to see them when you're eating in a restaurant?"

 

[Stella_Omega]

LOL what a miserable article from a guy who obviously gets none. What a cool psyche paper, though. Great irony in the thread title, Selena - lol.

I disagree 'somewhat' Doc and agree on most things you say. I do get the restaurant thing, though - there is something called a bathroom when I am paying $25.00 an appetizer. "It's natural" say some. I say, "so are man boobs - but do you want to see them when you're eating in a restaurant?"

Yep, I wonder if his wife is squirting breast milk at him to keep him away- three kids are enough already!

But Charley, why should my baby eat in the bathroom? Would YOU want to eat in the bathroom?

 

[Liar]

But Charley, why should my baby eat in the bathroom? Would YOU want to eat in the bathroom?

Another question is, why are you taking kidlets to a place where you have to pay $25.00 an appetizer?

 

[CharleyH]

Yep, I wonder if his wife is squirting breast milk at him to keep him away- three kids are enough already!

But Charley, why should my baby eat in the bathroom? Would YOU want to eat in the bathroom?

I certainly dont want to pay $300 for dinner with man boobs in my face. If the baby or parent pay what I do for his or her dinner? Great LOL, but I doubt it.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Another question is, why are you taking kidlets to a place where you have to pay $25.00 an appetizer?

... well, that's true for me, for sure. And the bathroom at a $25.00-per-appetiser place ought to be commesurate... It will be a lounge, with a nice sofa.

BUt when my son was tiny, the family ended up in a cheap chiniese joint. Babies get hungry right at dinner-time, go figure. The waiter asked me to take him into the bathroom- which was a gawdawful swamp. So, back we came to the table. I told the waiter that just as soon as the bathroom was clean enough to have a baby in it in the first place- i would be glad to nurse him there...

But we're getting off the subject- oh, wait, no we're not!

So listen guys, what other non-erotic uses have you come up with for your dicks? Bookmarks?

 

[Liar]

So listen guys, what other non-erotic uses have you come up with for your dicks? Bookmarks?

Preformance art.

 

[CharleyH]

Preformance art.

ROFLOL!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Preformance art.

pre-formance? I hope that's a typo...

 

[Liar]

pre-formance? I hope that's a typo...

Honey, I am a living, breathing typo.

 

[CharleyH]

Honey, I am a living, breathing typo.

LOL You are and what a great thing for us.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

There are two sides to this story here. There is the reality that both sexes get frustrated at times, and both have the right to feel a little miffed at times when that happens. There is also the reality that parents have to put children first while raising them. Yes, your partner is important, but you have an obligation to your child that comes from them being weaker and more dependent upon you than either spouse could ever be.

Admittedly, I am in an easier situation and some might think that I judge him too quickly (even though I acknowledge that he and other men, just like Falling and other women, get a little frustrated at times). He might say, "yeah, well, you have it easy, you're not in an exclusive relationship." Well, it's somewhat easier at times. Somewhat and at times. However, just because I'm a swinger doesn't mean that I am doing that 24/7. There are times when I don't laid as often as I like, due to sheer fatigue. Same with my gf. That happens. I deal with it. She deals with it. So can he. There is a difference between getting laid less often than you prefer and NEVER getting laid. The latter is generally a sympton of marital issues and I dare say is probably what is really happening here, all jokes aside. If that is so, he needs to stop counseling others and get some counseling himself. Just a thought.