KillerMuffin
Seraphically Disinclined
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 25,603
SCENE: Night of the first date...
The man approaches the woman and proposes to kiss her. So let us see what would be her reaction.
WOMAN FROM DEPT. OF PHYSICS: "Well kissing is relative. You can kiss me with respect to me or with respect to you. First define how you are going to kiss. You can kiss me by treating me in the same reference frame as you are or treating me in a different inertial frame by producing waves of motion through your lips. How do you prefer?"
The guy faints.
WOMAN FROM DEPT. OF MATHEMATICS: "Kissing is fine. You can kiss me provided you satisfy the following conditions: Necessary conditions: You should be close to me by a distance delta where delta is greater than zero and the limit for delta tends to zero and you satisfy the closure property. Sufficient conditions: You should have lips. Where the number of lips is neither more than two, nor less than two. You can also kiss by defining your hand to be me if and only if you satisfy the above conditions."
The guy goes mad.
WOMAN FORM ECOLOGICAL SCIENCES: "Oh Kissing, that is interesting phenomena that occurs in nature. This is an initiating process for sex not only found in homosapiens but also in all heterosapiens, mammals, camels, vertebrates invertebrates and insects. Out of 1000 ants observed in a closed laboratory in Zuvinich in Yugoslavia 90% of them seem to involve in the process of kissing but the subsequence is very random with probability 0.672139 that a male ant kiss female ant. First observe the behavior of ants and cockroaches under various conditions. That will be very interesting. Isn't it?"
The guy has a heart attack.
WOMAN FROM CS (Computer Science): "You want to kiss me. That is fine I assume that you know the algorithm for that very well. But you have to complete the process within 56.22 seconds or else connection will be timed out. To optimize the timing lets do parallel processing. As we have to discuss about our future and other things, let us do the process of discussion foreground and why can't you put the process of Kissing background?"
The guy applies for divorce.
WOMAN FROM ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING: "So you would like to kiss me. The process of kissing is an age-old communication process. The information content of the signal transmitted from one pair of lips to the other is more if the probability of the event (of kissing) is less. Hence take care. If you want a successful communication between us, you should kiss me less often. If the information is to be infinite, you should never kiss me at all!"
The guy is found hanging from the ceiling fan the next day.
The man approaches the woman and proposes to kiss her. So let us see what would be her reaction.
WOMAN FROM DEPT. OF PHYSICS: "Well kissing is relative. You can kiss me with respect to me or with respect to you. First define how you are going to kiss. You can kiss me by treating me in the same reference frame as you are or treating me in a different inertial frame by producing waves of motion through your lips. How do you prefer?"
The guy faints.
WOMAN FROM DEPT. OF MATHEMATICS: "Kissing is fine. You can kiss me provided you satisfy the following conditions: Necessary conditions: You should be close to me by a distance delta where delta is greater than zero and the limit for delta tends to zero and you satisfy the closure property. Sufficient conditions: You should have lips. Where the number of lips is neither more than two, nor less than two. You can also kiss by defining your hand to be me if and only if you satisfy the above conditions."
The guy goes mad.
WOMAN FORM ECOLOGICAL SCIENCES: "Oh Kissing, that is interesting phenomena that occurs in nature. This is an initiating process for sex not only found in homosapiens but also in all heterosapiens, mammals, camels, vertebrates invertebrates and insects. Out of 1000 ants observed in a closed laboratory in Zuvinich in Yugoslavia 90% of them seem to involve in the process of kissing but the subsequence is very random with probability 0.672139 that a male ant kiss female ant. First observe the behavior of ants and cockroaches under various conditions. That will be very interesting. Isn't it?"
The guy has a heart attack.
WOMAN FROM CS (Computer Science): "You want to kiss me. That is fine I assume that you know the algorithm for that very well. But you have to complete the process within 56.22 seconds or else connection will be timed out. To optimize the timing lets do parallel processing. As we have to discuss about our future and other things, let us do the process of discussion foreground and why can't you put the process of Kissing background?"
The guy applies for divorce.
WOMAN FROM ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING: "So you would like to kiss me. The process of kissing is an age-old communication process. The information content of the signal transmitted from one pair of lips to the other is more if the probability of the event (of kissing) is less. Hence take care. If you want a successful communication between us, you should kiss me less often. If the information is to be infinite, you should never kiss me at all!"
The guy is found hanging from the ceiling fan the next day.
