Dating Etiquitte

[WallBalls]

I have a pretty simple question about dating etiquitte and I am not exactly sure what to do....

I have gotten out of a long term relationship and the other party has moved on, dating someone else, etc. I am fine with that and hope all goes well for her. However, during the course of our relationship, I did have some contact with a casual friend of hers. We all went to some parties and other events together. There was never anything going on with me and this friend but I always thought she was a nice person. My ex and her no longer really communicate.

Anyway, I am ready to move on myself and I would like to ask this other girl out. The only means that I have to contact her is through her work email. I do not have a phone number and I do not feel comfortable calling around trying to find out her number. So my question is, would it be appropriate or ok to send her an email asking her to dinner or to have a drink sometime??

Thank You!

 

[wicked woman]

I have a pretty simple question about dating etiquitte and I am not exactly sure what to do....

I have gotten out of a long term relationship and the other party has moved on, dating someone else, etc. I am fine with that and hope all goes well for her. However, during the course of our relationship, I did have some contact with a casual friend of hers. We all went to some parties and other events together. There was never anything going on with me and this friend but I always thought she was a nice person. My ex and her no longer really communicate.

Anyway, I am ready to move on myself and I would like to ask this other girl out. The only means that I have to contact her is through her work email. I do not have a phone number and I do not feel comfortable calling around trying to find out her number. So my question is, would it be appropriate or ok to send her an email asking her to dinner or to have a drink sometime??

Thank You!

If you've got her work email then you know where she works. Look up the phone number for her work and call her.

But between you and me, you sound pretty disinterested or lazy if you couldn't even bother to get her phone number.

 

[mynameisben]

I have a pretty simple question about dating etiquitte and I am not exactly sure what to do....

I have gotten out of a long term relationship and the other party has moved on, dating someone else, etc. I am fine with that and hope all goes well for her. However, during the course of our relationship, I did have some contact with a casual friend of hers. We all went to some parties and other events together. There was never anything going on with me and this friend but I always thought she was a nice person. My ex and her no longer really communicate.

Anyway, I am ready to move on myself and I would like to ask this other girl out. The only means that I have to contact her is through her work email. I do not have a phone number and I do not feel comfortable calling around trying to find out her number. So my question is, would it be appropriate or ok to send her an email asking her to dinner or to have a drink sometime??

Thank You!

Unless the company she works for has a policy that forbids the work email account for personal use, I can't see any harm in contacting her that way. But you'd better make sure that's the case before you do, because more and more companies are making that a firing offense.

Otherwise, just explain to her what you explained right here. If she's got a shred of reasonableness to her, I can't see how she wouldn't be charmed by your efforts.

Good luck!

 

[INeedLove]

Maybe you could find out the address of the company, and then drop off a small bouquet of flowers? On the card you could put your number and ask her out. It would be romantic. If she is not likely to remember you, then it would be creepy.
Good luck!

 

[WallBalls]

If you've got her work email then you know where she works. Look up the phone number for her work and call her.

But between you and me, you sound pretty disinterested or lazy if you couldn't even bother to get her phone number.

I can understand where you are coming from, but she teaches middleschool science and I don't think it is reasonable to call the school and ask for Ms. XXXXX....If I had her cell number then I would call her in the evening...

 

[WallBalls]

If you've got her work email then you know where she works. Look up the phone number for her work and call her.

But between you and me, you sound pretty disinterested or lazy if you couldn't even bother to get her phone number.

Additionally, I was dating someone else (her friend) when I met her at the time and not interested in dating her then so I would not have been asking for her number....I am interested in her now.

 

[EdwardMidweston]

I have a pretty simple question about dating etiquitte and I am not exactly sure what to do....

I have gotten out of a long term relationship and the other party has moved on, dating someone else, etc. I am fine with that and hope all goes well for her. However, during the course of our relationship, I did have some contact with a casual friend of hers. We all went to some parties and other events together. There was never anything going on with me and this friend but I always thought she was a nice person. My ex and her no longer really communicate.

Anyway, I am ready to move on myself and I would like to ask this other girl out. The only means that I have to contact her is through her work email. I do not have a phone number and I do not feel comfortable calling around trying to find out her number. So my question is, would it be appropriate or ok to send her an email asking her to dinner or to have a drink sometime??

Thank You!

Personally, I'd just write my phone number and a brief explanation (like you've given here) on a little note card, drop by the school where she works, and ask a receptionist or secretary to put the message in the lady's message box. If she's at all interested, she can call you. If not, you won't look like a jerk unless she's borderline paranoid, in which case you probably wouldn't want to date her anyway.

 

[mantra23]

Personally, I'd just write my phone number and a brief explanation (like you've given here) on a little note card, drop by the school where she works, and ask a receptionist or secretary to put the message in the lady's message box. If she's at all interested, she can call you. If not, you won't look like a jerk unless she's borderline paranoid, in which case you probably wouldn't want to date her anyway.

That's the ticket, great advice.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Personally, I'd just write my phone number and a brief explanation (like you've given here) on a little note card, drop by the school where she works, and ask a receptionist or secretary to put the message in the lady's message box. If she's at all interested, she can call you. If not, you won't look like a jerk unless she's borderline paranoid, in which case you probably wouldn't want to date her anyway.

That is the direction that I would take as well. Either hand delivered or by snail mail would work.

I would tactfully word your message to her how you know her and that circumstances have changed and you'd like to meet her for coffee (or whatever ).

 

[fgarvb1]

E-mail her and ask her to "Give you a call and you will take her out for evening meal and or drinks etc." sometime.

That lets her know you are interested and not threatening while putting the ball in her court.

If there is one thing I have learned about dating and sex is if you do not ask you certainly will not get!

 

[DrivingSouth]

Rough Draft

What is the gemeral consensus about a note like this??


Hey XXX

This is XXXX…I don’t know if you remember me, but we went to a July 4th party and hung out at XXXXX house a couple of years ago. I wanted to ask you if you would like to go out for a drink sometime? I apologize for emailing you like this, but I do not have any other way to contact you. Just so you know, XXXX and I are not together and we do not talk. I know this is completely out of the blue but I hope to hear back from you soon. My phone number is XXXXXXX if you want to call.

 

[Wife of Bath]

Personally, I'd just write my phone number and a brief explanation (like you've given here) on a little note card, drop by the school where she works, and ask a receptionist or secretary to put the message in the lady's message box. If she's at all interested, she can call you. If not, you won't look like a jerk unless she's borderline paranoid, in which case you probably wouldn't want to date her anyway.

I love this suggestion.

I would definitely appreciate this approach were I the woman in question.

 

[roomfor1more]

Unless you are familiar with the company, their IT policies and have her permission to send her an email at work then sending an email might get her into trouble. Some companies, depending on the company and the sector, may have very strict IT policies that restrict emails to business only. This is to protect them from security risks, viruses, and other treats that compromise their IT systems. It also may mean that that company may monitor emails or unknown email addresses are listed as SPAM that may never reach her. Such a move may get her into trouble or she may never receive the email.

The advice I would give is to find out her phone number and call her. Personally, I think she will appreciate a call more than receiving an impersonal email. Plus it will help make the right impression with her.

 

[EdwardMidweston]

I love this suggestion.

I would definitely appreciate this approach were I the woman in question.

I'll be delighted to send you notes any time.

 

[INeedLove]

I still maintain that a little bouquet of flowers along with the note is a nice way to go. I'm not talking roses or high expense.....just a bunch of daisies, tulips or mixed. It shows warm intent.

But, that's just me...the hopeful romantic....

 

[Noone_Atall]

Sorry but I disagree with the previous poster about the flowers. I think they would draw unnecessary attention to the situation and could potentially embarrass the recipient. I also say an email is the wrong way to go. At my place of employment, emails are archived and subject to the sunshine law.

A small note hand delivered to the main office seems sincere.

 

[_Virginia_]

Have you looked for her on Facebook or other sites like that? Surely, you must have some mutual friends who are connected to her, either via Facebook or something similar. I'm not a fan of contacting anyone via their work email or actual place of business unless it is work-related....for a lot of reasons.

I know everyone is different but I would be creeped-out a little if I got flowers delivered to my workplace because a guy wanted to ask me out - and he hadn't bothered to try and contact me another way first. I'd also be similarly creeped-out to find a written note in my mailbox at work. Dig around and find another way to contact her that doesn't involve her workplace.

 

[more_snow_plz]

Sorry but I disagree with the previous poster about the flowers. I think they would draw unnecessary attention to the situation and could potentially embarrass the recipient. I also say an email is the wrong way to go. At my place of employment, emails are archived and subject to the sunshine law.

A small note hand delivered to the main office seems sincere.

I did this one time and I can tell you that she liked it....until she found out they were from me! Oh well, didn't work out, but wasn't that big of a deal. Don't know of many women who don't like getting flowers.

As far as the work email is concerned....that's a tough one. You might be better off looking for her on facebook or moving on to someone else. Good luck!

 

[Noone_Atall]

Lol...well then, add me to the list of women who don't enjoy getting flowers. Especially in the work place. The questions from employees and co-workers that come with receiving them are enough to make me cringe.

 

[_Virginia_]

Lol...well then, add me to the list of women who don't enjoy getting flowers. Especially in the work place. The questions from employees and co-workers that come with receiving them are enough to make me cringe.

Add me too!

 

[BertrandRussell]

Skip the flowers. If you send flowers she may have to explain personal stuff arriving at work. This could be uncomfortable socially, or formally with HR.

Just write a simple straightforward note telling her very briefly that you and the ex are through, and that you would like to get together sometime.

Use the post office. Do NOT drop it off in person. That could look too much like stalking.

Wait two weeks. Have it arrive the day after Valentine's day. ( No, don't send a valentine. ) If she has been ignored on Valentine's day, she may feel very receptive to a little attention on the day after. If there was sombody devoting a lot of attention to her on Valentine's day, you didn't have a chance anyway.

Good luck and let us know how it went.

 

[fire_breeze]

This is solely my opinion: If you want to reconnect, either email her or drop her the note as suggested but leave out any other personal inferences (the above mentioned is a good, neutral way). It will come out too strong. A simple "hey, you have crossed my mind a lot, how about we meet for coffee" is much more approachable and friendly than "Hey. I broke up with X and I'm interested in you".

Just sayin'.