dating advice!!

[bailadora]

if anyone could mess this up, it would be me.

Dude - I'm with Ericka on this one. You've gotta drop these negative thoughts or it's gonna be a self fulfilling prophecy!

*take a deep breath and blow it out - calm now?* It sounds like you are really into this girl and that's really cool. But you gotta stop thinking like the fate of the world is hinging on this one date, ok? Even is she doesn't end up romantically involved with you, hopefully you've made a really good friend, true?

When you guys do go out to dinner, just make sure to be really attentive towards her and perhaps give her a small gift (even though you are going out for your birthday) when you pick her up, like some flowers or something. I think it will pretty hard to misinterpret your intentions. Best of luck and do let us know how it goes.

 

[guywithglasses]

well, i'm not sure I am entirely negative, perhaps it just comes across in my typing.

I get nervous and over think things sometimes, i'll let ya'll know how it goes!

 

[HowMayIPleaseU]

so did you have your date yet???

 

[guywithglasses]

YES!!!

We went out for a very nice dinner at a restaurant in the middle of the city. We both wore very nice clothes. We had a few drinks at the bar, and then we went to the table. We talked a lot, but very in depth talk. Eye contact. She started to refer to me using my first name, which is very good thing i've come to learn. Nothing crazy happened, but its definatly at the point where under the right circumstances, things could happen.

tonight i went to her restaurant, and I was speaking with some friends, and as she was leaving, she grabed my face, pulled me near and gave me a big kiss on the cheek. very forceful.

my basic outlook is that I am spending time with someone I really enjoy as a friend, and really like. She's fantastic, so, I just like being around her. I'm not shutting myself off to the world, but, its just a very good thing to be doing, and I am enjoying every moment.

 

[subwannabe]

Congrats! Hope it works out. Sounds good.

 

[bailadora]

my basic outlook is that I am spending time with someone I really enjoy as a friend, and really like. She's fantastic, so, I just like being around her. I'm not shutting myself off to the world, but, its just a very good thing to be doing, and I am enjoying every moment.

Sweet! Congrats!

 

[Angellika]

Great! just read the whole thread, like a mini-soap opera to me... I love happy endings!

 

[CWatson]

well, i'm not sure I am entirely negative, perhaps it just comes across in my typing.

I get nervous and over think things sometimes, i'll let ya'll know how it goes!

As someone who does the same thing: that's called "being negative", man. (And I too am a guy with glasses, I might add, avatar image notwithstanding.)

We're worriers by nature. When venturing into an unknown situation, we plan--compulsively--for any eventuality we can think of. This is a way to stave off insecurity: we feel better when we're prepared (at least in theory) for all possible outcomes. Of course, while it's all well and good to have plan of action for when Godzilla kidnaps the girl we're dating, such things very rarely occur during actual dates.

Try to catch yourself when you're overthinking things. Ask yourself what the most horrifically horrible outcome to any situation would be. Then ask yourself what the most likely outcome will be. It grounds you back into reality, it keeps you from panicking, and it sure looks better than the horrifically-horrible outcome wherein the girl decides you're loathesome, starts a website devoted entirely to getting people to stop dating you, and you're dateless for the rest of your life--which is relatively short, because you get so depressed that you assemble the largest ensemble of explosives aside from a nuclear missile silo, set them all off on a fault line in California, accidentally shift the techtonic balance of the Earth, send it spiraling into the Sun, cause the Sun to supernova, cause Jupiter to collapse into a black hole, and, by a variety of out-of-control chain reactions, cause the complete destruction of the universe.

Compared to that, not getting a goodnight kiss seems pretty tame, doesn't it.

See if you can keep from overthinking. It helps make it easier to smile.

 

[guywithglasses]

were dating.

 

[bailadora]

were dating.

I'm assuming this is a typo and you mean that you are dating, not that you were dating each other. Congrats again and best of luck!

 

[guywithglasses]

a typo, yes, "we are"!!

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Yay! Congrats