Danish Exercise

[Svenskaflicka]

Hello and welcome!

In our series Improve Your Writing Skill The Scandinavian Way, we have now come to part 3, the Danish approach.
Here's the exercise:

Describe yourself in detail, from another person's POV.

a.k.a "how would your dog describe you to his friends in the alley?"

Good luck, everyone!

 

[Just-Legal]

Hmm

--

Jenny turned to her friends and grinned. "You really want me to describe Helen? Where to start..." She paused. "Okay. She dyes her hair. A lot. Right now its like indigo black, but she has *really* blonde roots. About an inch of them, and her hair's only just down to her shoulders. I mean, she can't even curl it, with all the layers she's got in it."

Her grin grew wider. "Then she's got peircings. Her earlobes... nose... lip. She says thats all but I don't believe her, and I'm not going to see if I'm right.

Her favourite peice of clothing is her baggy blue jeans, mosher jeans. She's always wearing them because they're a size fourteen and she can still get in them." Laughter peppered the speech for a moment, "And she'll usually wear a little t-shirt to show off her big boobs, especially if its got some clever slogan on it like the FCUK one. What was it? Fit Chick Unbelieveable Knockers?"

The group laughed again, half at the shirt, half at the sister. "Did I mention her eyes? They're *really* freaky. They start green, then go grey, then amber the closer you get to her iris. Its worse when she wears her eyeliner, which is almost constantly. Brown makes her eyes look so bloody deep."

Thinking for a moment, she continued. "Her face is really pudgy and her lips are kinda thin so she always outlines them with lipliner then sticks gloss on. Its rare she wears lipstick. She had pointy ears when she was little but they've sorta rounded out now.

"Oh, and she has tonnes of freckles!" Jenny snickered. "And spots. Well, not tonnes any more. The odd one or two on her chin. But she's still big."

The side door opened and said person emerged. "I prefer the term curvy actually."

 

[TheEarl]

"So how would you describe him then."

"I dunno. He's...strange."

"Strange?"

"Not strange, more...different. Very quiet a lot of the time. Sometimes you can sit down and he'll talk for ages. He'll be really witty and entertaining and insightful. And sometimes he won't say a word for ages. He'll just sit in on conversations and listen, without saying a word."

"So he's entertaining, funny and listens to people? Sounds like my kind of guy."

"He's really sweet though. The politest person you will ever meet. And he's got a really posh accent. I just couldn't imagine him having sex, he's just too...nice. Like a brother."

"I bet he'd be thrilled to hear that."

"I've said it to him before. Apparently he gets that all the time."

"So what does he look like then."

"He's got short dark brown hair, which goes very fluffy...erm, he's just under six foot, he's got hazel eyes and is quite broad."

"That's not much of a description! Is he cute?"

"He's quite cute. He's got muscles and he's slim and fairly attractive, but he doesn't really show himself off that much. It's usually just a t-shirt and jeans. I suppose he is quite nice, but there's nothing really stunning about him. He just seems too innocent to be sexy."

"Is that him over there?"

"Where?"

"Over by the door. Look he's just come in."

"Oh my God, what has he done to his hair?"

"It's not usually that colour?"

"No, it's usually brown."

"He <i>is</i> cute. Look, he's got the whole deep brown eyes thing going on."

"You think? I don't see it. I mean he's nice, but he's just... he's just too nice, if you know what I mean. You couldn't ever imagine him having sex could you?"


So innocent. Little do they know .

The Earl

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Excellent! Very good!

But J-LE, could you add a little description of your personality as well?

 

[MathGirl]

C'est moi

She weighs less than ninety pounds. About sixty pounds of that is brains and mouth.

 

[pop_54]

Hello and welcome!



Describe yourself in detail, from another person's POV.

a.k.a "how would your dog describe you to his friends in the alley?"

Woof, Woof, Bowww, wowww, Grrrrrrrrr, Woof.

Roughly translated, "Man he's a fantastic leg hump"

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Next time I create an exercise, I'll mention a minimum of words.

 

[pop_54]

 

[pop_54]

OK

OK serious then Svenska dear.

Conversation between our cat Monty, and his mate from down the street Tom, (imaginative owners), describing me then, not that I speak catanese, but guessing like.

"Ello Tom mate, seen my man anywhere?"

"Prrrowww, no Mont's don't think I have mate, wos he look like anyway?"

"Well he's sort of big Tom, like bigger than us mate you know, about 6ft just over I'd say, bloody heavy as, about 190lbs (14 stone'ish) he stepped on my tail last week".

"Orrrowww, fat bastard hey Mont's".

"No not really, bit old now 55 I think and spreading in the middle just a tiny bit, but he likes to sort of do that stupid thing humans do, like excercise, he rides one of them bicycle things a lot, like a mountain bike".

"Hmrowww, talking of mounting things, seen that new she cat down the road Mont's, well tasty tabby, what colour hair's your pet man got then?"

"Not much left mate, but it's sort of fair like, he's got as much on his top lip as on his head nearly, one of them droopy moustache things".

"Mrrowww, I know, my man's got one Mont's, wos he like though, strict and serious, or does he like to play".

"Oh he's a total idiot Tom, I know that, my woman's always telling him he is. 55 going on 18 according to her, always messing about and acting like a kitten".

"Wrrowww, is that him chatting to those teenage girls over there Mont's, do they know him then".

"Meefukinowww, yes that's him, and no they can't know him or they'd be running away not talking to him".

About the best I could do based on our cat's sort of character, he's a bit of a lad.