Damn! She called my bluff!

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[Luke's Angel]

I'm not sure bundling church with a music recital helps a child think better of music. Invite some family and friends over for her practice time. Then casually suggest she play for the guests at home. That should allow her much more comfort space to enjoy making the music. Keep it a small group of guests and allow her to find out her boundaries with respect to playing for other people.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I'm sorry but as the son of a music teacher and happy member of a family full of musicians, I'm with the kid. I got blackmailed into a performance in front of the church once as a child and was so upset that I literally got ill before the performance and upchucked a perfectly good dinner. What a waste! Music is too much fun to make work. (That's why I ain't a pro!)

 

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[rgraham666]

Haven't the slightest. All the ways I know of getting a woman to do something would endanger my life in this case.

 

[Misty_Morning]

Our young daughter is working on her flute solo for contest and needs a few performance outlets to help her prepare for the judges.

But instead of making her, I asked her just now if she wanted to perform at church in a couple of weeks. I asked rather than forced, because I thought she would feel less pressured and wouldn't battle me over this.

BUT I figured she would still do it, because she knows good and God damned well that she needs to perform in front of a couple of crowds before the contest.

Little smart-ass called my bluff and said no.

Now what do I do?

Is this for solo and emsemble or for contest (entire band)?

if for solo and ensemble....she's got to get a 1 (superior) to get a medal.

if for contest...she could get a medal for a 2....but the ribbon is green and not gold. Also...if the band doesn't get a 1 cuz her solo was lacking...she has to deal with others saying..."well, we could've had a 1 if only..."


SOMETIMES...guilt can be highly motivating.

 

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[rgraham666]

Indeed.

But you've seen her perform, Rob. At least singing.

Dang, I wish she'd do this. It would really help her prepare.

Ah, well. I must respect her decision here.

Good for you. And yes, she sings like her mother.

 

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[Luke's Angel]

Yes, church is a wonderful place for music and public recitals. But in her mind she's picturing, I assume, mostly the priest and the choir up on the dais. Adults, who are much taller and I assume more serious people then she is likely to feel herself as being. Think of the sermons and the choir and then tell me how you saw yourself at that age and how you felt your first time up there on that dais or rostrum or what have you. I'm just saying allow her to find her performance legs before you go and toss her into the deep end of the musical pool.

PS

Okay , Ignore what i just said. I had completely the wrong picture. I was picturing her much younger.

You've got to get her competitive spirit stoked. She needs the fire in the belly speach or some such.

 

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[Luke's Angel]

I think your husband is on to something. She needs to be inspired, feel competitive. She has to want to be better than the competition. She's at that age where she is going to have to decide who she wants to be. Find some way to make her want to be her best. She has to start internalizing that kind of drive and determination.

 

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[sweetness6280]

She's performed at church before, though. Last year's music contest. She had one of the leads in the musical this year at school - sang in front of hundreds of people. She's played her flute in the talent show before.

Maybe she's right. Maybe she doesn't need it.

(The music teacher in me says she does, but the mom in me says it really should be her choice.)

When these two collide, always go with the mom!

I remember when I was about her age, I had been taking voice from an incredible coach. He wanted me to sing at a large gathering, I balked. No one pushed me. I didn't do it, but I regretted it. But, it lit a fire under me for the next one.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Sweets, you a trained vocalist, too? No wonder we make such beautiful music together!

 

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[Trombonus]

My private student insisted that he was not going to audition for honor band. I pestered him for a few weeks and then we went over everything that was going to be on the audition a few days beforehand. He nailed everything and afterwards he said "Well, I'm about 90% sure I'm going to go to the audition." He did and got lead chair.

My point? They may say no, but that doesn't mean you can't bug them incessantly until they change their mind.

 

[sweetness6280]

Sweets, you a trained vocalist, too? No wonder we make such beautiful music together!

LOL, yes, and then to the chagrin of my teachers and coaches... I started singing in bars and clubs.

 

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[sweetness6280]

I have a couple of music degrees.

And singing together would be loverly.

I have no degrees.... *bows to the experts* but I would love to join in.

 

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[Trombonus]

I know.

But there's a difference between your student and your child.

I am learning.

lol, I'd think that if anything you'd have MORE opportunity to bug them about it.

Like at the dinner table...

"So sweetie, have you thought any more about performing at the church gig? You know you really ought to. It couldn't hurt right?" *nudge nudge*

Or when she goes to bed.

"Goodnight sweetheart, but don't forget to think about that church performance, you know you really ought to give it a try."

Or even while she's watching TV.

"Whatcha watching hon? Mind if I join you, we can talk about that church gig that's coming up. You know I bet they'd enjoy hearing you play."

Just a thought.