Daily Poll #66

[IhateClowns]

Thanks for playing along.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

*waits*

 

[cowslinger64]

A little harmless flirting is ok IMO... relationships without your partners knowledge IS cheating in my books..


However... in my time here I have learned there is a grey area. It's not so easy to just say if you are married and do this, you're garbage.... cause as I've seen here, many times the marriage certificate you held so dear at one time...has become a worthless scrap of paper from good times past.

Sorry clowns!

 

[elli1]

if you're doing something behind your SOs back which you know would hurt them if they knew, then, yes, that's a form of betrayal in my opinion.

 

[rubydlite]

I believe I've heard....if it would upset your SO and you're afraid of telling them it could count as emotional cheating at the very least...which they say is more harmful than an accidental one of because of the deliberate intentions to engage ....

Ps...I'm regurgitating and just became my own buzz kill :/

 

[missgreekgeek]

If you have to hide or delete things and are constantly on edge, thinking your partner is or will find out...you're cheating. Your focus isn't on your SO, but rather someone online. Do him or her a favor and either stop your behavior, or end the relationship then and there. It isn't fair to the other person.

 

[IhateClowns]

Interesting so far. Must be a bit too close to home for some.

 

[37_ttej]

Interesting so far. Must be a but too close to home for some.

Yes, it is a bit.

I voted 'other' because I think it depends on the nature and level of the relationship you have and are seeking.

In my case I have pretty strict rules for myself. But, that said, here I am messing around on an adult literature - OK, it's porn - so am I just trying to fool myself by saying that I'm only here to 'make friends'. Plenty of other avenues to do that.

Would Mrs Jett see what I do here as cheating?
Strictly, no. But she would resent the time I spend here and that she doesn't know what I do (even if it is pretty innocent by Lit standards).

So time for some soul-searching again, Jett!

Thanks, IHC. A simple poll this one, but challenging!

 

[Ellafun]

Well, to be honest, I didn't come onto the bulletin board just to exchange recipes, ya know?

 

[37_ttej]

Well, to be honest, I didn't come onto the bulletin board just to exchange recipes, ya know?

WTF!? I thought this forum was about cake!?

 

[Miasorrow]

I do not know why or if it's even right but I always thought cheating must be physical. It makes it real.

 

[AlexaF]

If you have to hide or delete things and are constantly on edge, thinking your partner is or will find out...you're cheating. Your focus isn't on your SO, but rather someone online. Do him or her a favor and either stop your behavior, or end the relationship then and there. It isn't fair to the other person.

Well said

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

If you have to hide or delete things and are constantly on edge, thinking your partner is or will find out...you're cheating. Your focus isn't on your SO, but rather someone online. Do him or her a favor and either stop your behavior, or end the relationship then and there. It isn't fair to the other person.

Can't say any more then this.

 

[1sickbastard]

What is considered cheating or not cheating is defined ONLY by the people in the primary relationship.
So other.

 

[37_ttej]

If you have to hide or delete things and are constantly on edge, thinking your partner is or will find out...you're cheating. Your focus isn't on your SO, but rather someone online. Do him or her a favor and either stop your behavior, or end the relationship then and there. It isn't fair to the other person.

Wise words, MissGG.
I've been feeling this for a while and I think the time has come for Jett to leave again.
Perhaps I'll have more success than last time.

 

[janeyl]

I'm seriously in no position to judge...but, if you are doing something that you wouldn't do openly in front of your partner, then it becomes secretive and diminishes your relationship with them...

Any kind of shared intimacy that they don't know about is being dishonest...I'd really rather the Monkey fucked someone else than took them to dinner because it implies some kind of connection I wouldn't tolerate...and on line "relationships", I find actually worse because the intimacy can be very intense and they actually feel more dishonest...

Flirting and banter as long as it is openly conducted and doesn't lead to a more intense connection is fine...as long as you'd do it in real life in front of your partner...

In the end, like I said, I'm not judging in the slightest, I just wish people would admit that it's what it is and not make excuses or justify their actions because they need to be able to settle their own consciences...

 

[beachbaby179]

Flirtations...not so much. But online relationships definitely do. At the very least it's deceptive. The reasons behind why you do what you do may help you to sleep at night but yeah. It's still cheating. And yeah...we do it anyway.

 

[suckonsimon]

I've voted 'yes'. OK in my case my wife knows that I flirt a bit on literotica. But the examples I have told her about in detail don't go as far as one or two other examples. To that degree there's an element of cheating on my part in my book and, well, I'm working on it.

I'm well aware that for many married people on lit, their online flirting is a survival tactic and I imagine that for many, their ability to stay bright with their spouse is actually enhanced by their having some fun and consolation on Lit. Notwithstanding, for us married ones to delude ourselves that this stuff is not cheating, will not help us.

 

[JudasIscariot]

I'd say other.

I say that basically because I don't believe that flirting is always conniving. For some people flirting is a way of just making friends or having fun without the intention of someone being hurt. We do it in real life everyday, so why is it such a taboo when it comes to online? Besides, on a site like this if everyone who thought flirting was a cardinal sin, then it might as-well just be a dating site and the playful interaction would be gone.

However, I would say that flirting with the intention of striking up a sexual relationship is cheating as it is conniving.

The relationship side is considerably more 'immoral', if it is struck up as sexual. If you have entered an online sexual relationship then for me are cheating. I say this because you know your SO would be hurt by it (ps before you start with all of the cuckold shit know this is just the basics).

Long story short, if you wouldn't do it in real life....don't do it online; it only makes you a coward.

 

[Leigh81]

Flirting isn't cheating, but an online relationship that you keep hidden would be I'd say. I would never want him to cheat in RL, but he has my full permission to chat, play & get off with anyone online. Same as I have full permission.
Of course we have rules limiting it to strictly chatting.

L

 

[pvt_addiction]

Hmm...judging from the responses here, I guess I shouldn't have started my AmPic thread and flirted the way I did. I've never hidden the fact that I'm married. It's interesting to see those commenting and flirting back even after knowing my status.

So if it's considered cheating on my part, what would you consider their actions?

 

[elli1]

So if it's considered cheating on my part, what would you consider their actions?

your relationship is your responsibility, not someone else's

 

[pvt_addiction]

your relationship is your responsibility, not someone else's

I completely understand that. But aren't they just as sinful for taking part or encouraging the flirting?

 

[elli1]

I completely understand that. But aren't they just as sinful for taking part or encouraging the flirting?

first, i don't believe in sin. second, i repeat: your relationship is your responsibility, not someone else's. is it a woman's fault she got raped because she wore a skirt?

 

[pvt_addiction]

first, i don't believe in sin. second, i repeat: your relationship is your responsibility, not someone else's. is it a woman's fault she got raped because she wore a skirt?

Wow! I don't believe it is, but that's quite the stretch. Didn't mean to hit a sore spot.