Daddy's Little Girl

[cascadiabound]

I really love this conversation too. I know people are in all different places with daddy language, and, as I said earlier, I myself have evolved in what feels okay, let alone arousing to me.

I appreciate everyone sharing! Thank you.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Context makes a difference. What works with one partner may not work with another. Something that never appealed to you before may suddenly become a huge turn-on with the right person. I've had that happen more than once, and it turned out to be a lot of fun.




Allow yourself room to be surprised.

 

[DarkSimian]

There isn't a thing wrong with how you feel, it simply means this lifestyle isn't for you, and it's good that you can acknowledge it. I personally have an aversion to guys wanting "mommy" who want it in an incestuous way.

But, DD/lg isn't about incest. It's a relationship between adults. I personally like to think that this is the Sensual Dom, though some have scoffed at that. *shrugs*

I can see the appeal to some women (and probably men), but I know it's not for me.

 

[AbsintheFather]

My 22 yo old daughter calls me daddy (especially when she wants to butter me up). So yeah, being called that would make me think of her and that's icky. Likewise 'sir', it does nothing for me. I'll treat you like my little princess, protect you, hold you, cuddle you and then fuck you like my little whore. But we're both adults and I like it that way. I'm comfortable being in a traditional or dominant role and don't want to be called 'daddy' or need to be called 'sir' to reinforce that.

 

[Leigh81]

I really love this conversation too. I know people are in all different places with daddy language, and, as I said earlier, I myself have evolved in what feels okay, let alone arousing to me.

I appreciate everyone sharing! Thank you.

I really want to learn more about this. We do a lot of different role play ourselves.
Question, is this role play or a lifestyle??

L

 

[FelicityJohns]

Tenderness goes a long way! I'm glad you stopped in and posted!



KL
I'm glad you took the time to talk to others and research. Some find that it isn't for them or, like me KNOW how they are/what they want, but don't have a clue where to find it...what niche it's in. I tried D/s, and Master/slave, and it just wasn't for me.

I'm glad that Lit was around for me to find people to ask questions of! (He may even remember who he is that told me there IS a sensual Dom, a Daddy Dom) I'm so glad he did, because I needed the validation that I wasn't crazy LOL...

So glad you stopped in to post!

Hugs,
~BFG

There is a sense in which I feel like I'm going through some sort of sexual awakening. And in the course of my writing career, I've researched and tried on a lot of different hats. I discounted D/s pretty early on, because I came across too much cruelty, and too much Master/slave Sadist/masochist etc. I say this with respect, because I don't judge or diiminish anyone who needs those things in their lives. But it wasn't for me. Same with the Femdom. I explored that with a character named Stella.

You term it 'Sensual Dom' BFG, and I absolutely adore that term. But I'm opening a bit to the DD/lg... again because it is fluid, and each relationship is open to being defined by the people in it. For instance, I honestly don't know that I could use the term Daddy. I can use Sir with the right person, but it is sir in a southern sense, more as I would speak to one in charge of my well-being rather than one I see as a Master.

My evolution is ongoing though. I find the journey fascinating. I don't know where I'll end up. I do know conversations like this one are enormously enlightening and helpful.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I really want to learn more about this. We do a lot of different role play ourselves.
Question, is this role play or a lifestyle??

L

Either/or. It's up to you and your partner(s).

It's all about choice.

 

[DD6969]

Its interesting to read everyone's viewpoint on this.

 

[Leigh81]

Either/or. It's up to you and your partner(s).

It's all about choice.

I figured, but what about the people posting here??
I'm all for different role play, but once the sex or game is over then it's over.
50 shades turned me off. I watched the movie & know the book would be better.
My perception is the women in that movie is weak. I know I'm wrong, but that's my perception. Plus why couldn't they cast a more manly man in that role. The guy wasn't attractive at all which didn't help. The female role I thought was played well, but thought she was weak as a person.
I also notice what you touched on FJ. There are 2 kinds of doms. The 'Sensual Dom' & the sadist/masochist dom.

LOL I remember being pm'd here last year from a more sadist dom & he called me kitten. I told him that if he called me kitten, he'd be getting a kick'in in the nuts.
Just a few months ago I discovered I liked light bi bdsm from watching a single video. I've explored that with a GF of mine & enjoy it. We don't do it that often which I think makes it better when we do.

I just want to learn more. Calling someone daddy is out of the question for me personally. But I'm open & really want to learn more about the rest of it.

L

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

... it is fluid, and each relationship is open to being defined by the people in it.

Yep...

 

[AKentuckyLady]

My evolution is ongoing though. I find the journey fascinating. I don't know where I'll end up. I do know conversations like this one are enormously enlightening and helpful.

^^ This says it all. I love the conversation here, I wish I had heard it when I was first exploring and so confused.

Someone once told me that a D/s relationship was the same as any other relationship, only the D/s and DD/lg try to do it better. That appeals to me, although I'm not sure it's really the truth.

Being the dominant partner from a financial/decision making standpoint in most of my relationships has made me realize that I want and need a more dominant man. Or as my mother once said, "You need someone that can tell you "No" and can stand up to you."

I still haven't managed to find that. It's possibly why I keep putting one toe into those waters and then backing up.

 

[FelicityJohns]

I figured, but what about the people posting here??
I'm all for different role play, but once the sex or game is over then it's over.
50 shades turned me off. I watched the movie & know the book would be better.
My perception is the women in that movie is weak. I know I'm wrong, but that's my perception. Plus why couldn't they cast a more manly man in that role. The guy wasn't attractive at all which didn't help. The female role I thought was played well, but thought she was weak as a person.
I also notice what you touched on FJ. There are 2 kinds of doms. The 'Sensual Dom' & the sadist/masochist dom.

LOL I remember being pm'd here last year from a more sadist dom & he called me kitten. I told him that if he called me kitten, he'd be getting a kick'in in the nuts.
Just a few months ago I discovered I liked light bi bdsm from watching a single video. I've explored that with a GF of mine & enjoy it. We don't do it that often which I think makes it better when we do.

I just want to learn more. Calling someone daddy is out of the question for me personally. But I'm open & really want to learn more about the rest of it.

L

Same thoughts on the movie as you Leigh... I read the first book,a nd made halfway through the second before I decided life's too short to read bad porn! But, I felt it a kind of 'homework' for an erotica writer. Here's a book; don't do what this author did!

I'm also right with you on 'kitten.' No, I'm not cute, furry and harmless. If you're going to liken me to animal, I much prefer a lioness, or a wild horse... something with some will, which makes you, as a Dom, that much better. Anybody can hold a kitten. It takes a special kind of man to win the trust of a lioness. And a real Dom knows this. It's by the same token that a man who is a natural leader and protector doesn't need to tell everyone he's a Dom. He doesn't wear it. He IS it.

Also, I can't see dressing up in pigtails and pouting. No. I'm a grown woman. I can take care of myself. But I'm asking that you do it for me for awhile. It's a form of rest. Of finding a different plane of self. And it's as much about learning to put your trust in someone, too. Finding that soft place to fall.

I'm not sure it exists. But I hope it does.

 

[Leigh81]

I just picked up the book, Who's Been Sleeping In Your Head - A Secret World Of Sexual Fantasies by Brett Kahr.
It touches on a whole gamut of sexual themes. It should open my eyes more.
I finished Fast Girl, the Suzy Favor Hamilton story before I went on vacation.

L

 

[cascadiabound]

I really want to learn more about this. We do a lot of different role play ourselves.
Question, is this role play or a lifestyle??

L

Role play or lifestyle: this is so dependent upon the relationship. We do limited role play in our RL. though the role play we have done has been rather intense for both of us and has not been in the Daddy/lg format.
I am in my RL to my partner, his sub. But in the rest of my life I am a feisty, in control, take no prisoners, pull no punches, decision making leader that is respected by those I come in contact with. I would imagine that there is hardly a person who would guess I am a sub at home. I do not tolerate being treated as less than and I am a feminist through and through. But, here's the thing. I get to chose. And it turns out that what turns me on sexually is to submit. That does not mean that I check my brain at the door. Or that I am not an active participant in our how lives work. It is just one part of what I need.

Context makes a difference. What works with one partner may not work with another. Something that never appealed to you before may suddenly become a huge turn-on with the right person. I've had that happen more than once, and it turned out to be a lot of fun.

Allow yourself room to be surprised.

This is absolutely true. I keep being surprised at myself frankly. And I thought I had lived long enough to be beyond being surprised. I am giving up that notion. At this point I hope to continue to be surprised for the rest of my life.

Different things work for different partners. Different language works with different people. Different ideas turn us on. A kiss or a touch which electrifies one person is soooo NOT right with someone else. I think this is also true with... you name it "daddy" or "Sir" or "baby girl" or "princess" or "sweetheart" even. I tend to sprinkle my language with endearments - partly because I talk that way in real life - because I am affectionate even in my tough as nails, get things done, intolerance for stupidity persona.
So - I guess I would say that the language thing is a dance - finding those words that work together for the dyad of the two of you at this point in your time together - recognizing that sometimes this will change.

I wanted to call my husband "Sir" when we began to be formally D/s - and he liked that... but then he wanted, after a while for me to call him "Master" - which kinda squigged me out... (I think much in the way that "daddy" feels 'wrong' to some folks who have commented). But it was an evolution for us. He wanted it. It mattered to him. I kinda choked on the word every time I said it for a long time. But I did it. And then there was a moment when all of a sudden it was the ONLY thing I wanted to call him - that it was the only name accessible in my brain to call out. And even that was, ah, totally weird (esp for that dyed in the wool feminist that I am - lol). But again... I am learning not to try to understand intellectually every part of this. But to just trust what my body responds to.

My 22 yo old daughter calls me daddy (especially when she wants to butter me up). So yeah, being called that would make me think of her and that's icky. Likewise 'sir', it does nothing for me. I'll treat you like my little princess, protect you, hold you, cuddle you and then fuck you like my little whore. But we're both adults and I like it that way. I'm comfortable being in a traditional or dominant role and don't want to be called 'daddy' or need to be called 'sir' to reinforce that.

I totally respect this. And anyone who does not want to be called this or that - especially if it has connotations that feel incestuous or attach to other relationships (good or bad) it is necessary to be respectful of those boundaries.

I can't remember how young I was when I stopped calling my father "daddy" - maybe 3 or 4 yo. It was dad after that. And... while I did love him, (he was my dad after all and he did not beat me, abandon me, or abuse me), I did not like him very much. And the things that I hear many women talk about regarding their dads - their admiration and respect for them - how their dad is the best man they have ever known, etc etc. Well. That is not my dad.
He died over 6 years ago now. And in some ways - it is a relief. I had been very angry with him for a very very long time. And I was even more angry with him in the years immediately following his death. Very very angry.
I am not, by nature an angry or bitter person. I do not like things unresolved. I would much rather put my cards on the table, deal with the truth of things and then move along. This was not possible with him. And this - in turn was - awful and immobilizing and infuriating for me.

I think therefore, that part of wanting Daddy/ baby girl language in a sexual situations - in a D/s way.... this is cathartic for me. I had the ewwww, never ever ever reaction for the longest time, as you can imagine - because I did not want to infect any man I cared about with the baggage from my RL dad. But for me, now ~ well, daddy language has absolutely NOTHING to do with Father/daughter or my biological dad. And on some level when I use that language in role play or when I make my little comments on pics here...it is helping me find some peace - some catharsis in adoring an an idealized man who has all of the traits I might have wanted in an idealized "daddy" - who loves and adores and spoils and cares for his babygirl. Who will protect her and want to dress her up and tell her she is beautiful. Who will want to play with her hair and tell her what He likes and discipline her in a way that makes her feel safe and loved and perfect. That enfolding of paternal care, of guidance and that you can just lean into utterly. Which is not to say I ever want to be treated like a child - in play or in a sexual situation - even in roleplay. - ewwwwww.
There are a lot of layers here for me I and I am still teasing them out. I do know that certain images... when I look at them - they just make me want to have a daddy in just that way. And this is part of why I love this thread.

cb

 

[Leigh81]

Love your post cascadiabound
We're going to Sexapolooza tomorrow & I know they'll have quite a bit on the subject. Really looking forward to it.

L

 

[cascadiabound]

Love your post cascadiabound
We're going to Sexapolooza tomorrow & I know they'll have quite a bit on the subject. Really looking forward to it.

L

You are so welcome Leigh.
enjoy sexapolooza... hope to get a report.

 

[cowslinger64]

IMO, the most important thing to have when it comes to any of the fetish lifestyle, is an open mind. We all have hard limits, tho those are different for different people. However, having grey area to live in makes the exploring much more fulfilling.

I've been active since August in real life fetish. It's a much different thing than talking about it here, or doing online D/S relationships. I had to learn real quick to leave what I thought was normal at the door. There is a lot that goes on that does nothing for me, but I lived it, not just stood back and said I don't like it. There is tons of close mindedness about this lifestyle, and I find much is due to ignorance. Bdsm gets a lot of bad press and I learned what the general attitude about it was trying to find a partner on regular dating sites.

They are, for the most part, just normal people making things not normally considered normal... normal. My absolute favorite word is pervertible... that is taking something not normally thought of as kinky, and using it as such. Saran wrap, rope, wooden spoons, candles.. so many things.

Something else I've learned is that bdsm is not about sex. Sex happens but that is not the main point of it. However, being in an intense scene can be very sexy. The atmosphere at my first event totally surprised me. Considering there was no sex, and no nudity at it, it was the most sexually charge atmosphere I've ever been in. That was a huge surprise.

My advice for anyone interested in this lifestyle is to go to something called a munch. it's funny now for me to say that, because I made scentofawoman go to them til we went to an event....but it is a very good way to meet people in the lifestyle, at a place that is very vanilla. Coney Islands are popular, local restaurants, etc... People sit around, introduce themselves and talk about the things that happen. Once you've done that, go to an event. Then go to a few of them. You'll figure out over time what does it for you and what doesn't.

For me.. a good example is rope. I'd never ever thought anything about rope play.. but after being exposed to it, I love it. I love the artistic nature of it, it's erotic, exotic, challenging and a HUGE TURNON. If I'd never gone to an event, I would have lived life without it.

So do yourself a favor.. try it. It's an amazing addition to my life..

 

[jameslewis]

http://41.media.tumblr.com/11ffad2302c5f8c74b4a70a9956b9038/tumblr_o2tywzFkQu1u766i0o1_1280.jpg

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Nice one, jameslewis.

 

[jameslewis]

http://56.media.tumblr.com/f21796d1834155185cfc3808c161967c/tumblr_o2to7bWhoR1uujzm9o1_500.jpg
For all the girls who haven't yet found what they seek.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

http://56.media.tumblr.com/f21796d1834155185cfc3808c161967c/tumblr_o2to7bWhoR1uujzm9o1_500.jpg
For all the girls who haven't yet found what they seek.

Ugh.

This is wonderful, Mr. Lewis.

 

[ralf3456]

http://36.media.tumblr.com/529f5d685134f1ad09ffa6a0822ffe89/tumblr_nt21ckMG4W1tlfshyo1_500.jpg

 

[barefootgirl69]

https://40.media.tumblr.com/7f2f8afd42187e4a1f585bf1a0d6c3d1/tumblr_o2wyfmrD0D1v95am6o1_500.jpg

 

[ralf3456]

http://36.media.tumblr.com/0e8dc765827599375315b9f01ace30ca/tumblr_nrhoagGhqI1tlfshyo1_400.jpg

 

[barefootgirl69]

http://36.media.tumblr.com/0e8dc765827599375315b9f01ace30ca/tumblr_nrhoagGhqI1tlfshyo1_400.jpg

ohhhhhh, I love this one!!!