Cursing as an art form?

[SeaCat]

No I do not mean the cursing practicced by the children we now have running our streets who have a hard time putting a sentence together correctly. I mean true cursing. Once upon a time my father told me that cursing was an art form and I didn't believe him. He then pulled out of his library numerouse books and opened them to passages he had marks to show his point. Much to my surprise this very staid gentlman was correct.
Do you, as members of an erotic literature forum have any good ones? I shall start out with one I clearly remember. (It was included in an account of an Englishman about to be put to death by Afghan Tribesman and was directed at the tribal leader.)
"May your first son marry the daughter of a prostitute who fornicates with pigs."

SeaCat

 

[Guest]

I had an Armenian friend who learned this to say to Turks:

May the eggs of a thousand lice infest your grandmother's crotch.

Perdita

 

[CharleyH]

I had an Armenian friend who learned this to say to Turks:

May the eggs of a thousand lice infest your grandmother's crotch.

Perdita

All I know is that when I was a young kid - 70's - I was too afraid to swear, let alone, swear to a stranger who was bigger than me

About 5 years ago, and it's more frequent now, I was walking down the street, and maybe a 6 year old boy pulled down his pants to show his little wonder, as his obviously older friends looked on.

He said to me, "Can you take it bitch?"

I laughed, and said "AW, what a cute little thing."

I am pretty sure I've fucked him up for life

 

[ABSTRUSE]

All I know is that when I was a young kid - 70's - I was too afraid to swear, let alone, swear to a stranger who was bigger than me

About 5 years ago, and it's more frequent now, I was walking down the street, and maybe a 6 year old boy pulled down his pants to show his little wonder, as his obviously older friends looked on.

He said to me, "Can you take it bitch?"

I laughed, and said "AW, what a cute little thing."

I am pretty sure I've fucked him up for life

HA!!! I knew you tormented children!!!!!

 

[Guest]

HA!!! I knew you tormented children!!!!!

Aw, the earlier blokes learn the better. A NY woman friend was the 'victim' of an attempted mugging by an 8-ish year old boy. She grabbed his head at arm's length and threatened to pull his pants down and spank him right there on Wall St. She let him go cos he was about to start crying.

Perdita

 

[CharleyH]

ya - my response elicited a sadness - I should have said something to the older kids - but HELL - that's what I did when I was a babe - DOMinate as in . . . force the boys to do things or I'd beat the shit out of them

EDIT: Jesus christ - it still hasn't shaken from me I'm much kinder to women with exception.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

ya - my response elicited a sadness - I should have said something to the older kids - but HELL - that's what I did when I was a babe - DOMinate as in . . . force the boys to do things or I'd beat the shit out of them

EDIT: Jesus christ - it still hasn't shaken from me I'm much kinder to women with exception.

Score:
Charley: 1
complete whore: 0

 

[CharleyH]

Score:
Charley: 1
complete whore: 0

Uh huh: I have more stories

Complete whore? Only Abs so far.

As for swearing . . . um . . . well whenever someone swear in real life, like too much? I think whoa - go back to school - shit - spent some time with that unfucking whore

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Uh huh: I have more stories

Complete whore? Only Abs so far.

As for swearing . . . um . . . well whenever someone swear in real life, like too much? I think whoa - go back to school - shit - spent some time with that unfucking whore

I wouldn't be if I hadnt sold my soul to you...

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I think Svenska would like to put a few curses on some anon readers!!!!

 

[Zanzibar]

<chuckles>

As an avid roleplyarer in venues where graphic curses would get my account banned, it's a challenge to come up with creative ways to let someone know what you think of them.

One of my favorites was "May your prospective girlfriends find you less appealing then an abcessed boil full of maggots on a diseased goat's ass."

Some that didn't take curse form, but were just digs at someone ran along the lines of:

"You have all the charisma of a fragrant cow pie on a humid August afternoon."

"You have less tact than a rottweiler dry humping your guest's leg at a party."

Some are silly, some are rude.. some of them just get blank stares as they try to figure out just what was said. Those are the most fun.

 

[pop_54]

As they frequently say on the GB 'Go away in short sharp sexual jerks'.

 

[SeaCat]

<chuckles>

As an avid roleplyarer in venues where graphic curses would get my account banned, it's a challenge to come up with creative ways to let someone know what you think of them.

One of my favorites was "May your prospective girlfriends find you less appealing then an abcessed boil full of maggots on a diseased goat's ass."

Some that didn't take curse form, but were just digs at someone ran along the lines of:

"You have all the charisma of a fragrant cow pie on a humid August afternoon."

"You have less tact than a rottweiler dry humping your guest's leg at a party."

Some are silly, some are rude.. some of them just get blank stares as they try to figure out just what was said. Those are the most fun.

Now these are the kinds I'm interested in. Let them think.

May your girlfriend fail her oral exams, was one that caused a few to stop and think about it.

SeaCat

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I don't have much in the way of a "May your..." curse. I prefer a more direct route.

Ahem: Go blow a toad, you beetle-dicked bug-fucking leprous secretion of a diseased gibbon's ass.

No offense.

---dr.M.

 

[SeaCat]

Not offended at all. Quite literary, which is what I would expect here.
Much better than the old, "The best part of you dripped down your mothers leg when he pulled out."

SeaCat

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I normally hate to post links to threads (they so often kill a thread), but these are worth checking out.

Apparently the Irish are a nation of cursers. Found this:

http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~bj333/HomePage.curses.html

And for a literary touch, here’s a curse generator that works in Elizabethan(-ish) English:

http://www.flwyd.dhs.org/curse/

I notice the word "hempseed" shows up in the Elizabethan curses. That's kind of interesting.

---dr.M.