Curious.

[Athanasia]

I've never actually tried the BDSM scene whether online or in person and I'm curious about it. I just don't know exactly where I would fit in or how to get started. Being shy has somewhat hampered my ability to try.

Can anyone share their first experiences to possibly clarify and give me a bit of understanding.

I'm rather naive and have only somewhat dabbled in spanking and small things. Help!.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

First off you have to find what your desires you have. Do you want ot be spanked or to spank another or both? Do you seek a pwoer exchange from one side or the other outside of the bedroom. Do you like recieveing or inflicting pain, both or neither?

 

[trisquel_astur]

Hi sweetie!

MP is right, first of all, you should have really clear what you like and then we can talk about.

It seems that you are a little kinky exploring well, You are in the right place for this.

Welcome. Here you will find very good people.

Kisses and spanks.

 

[Athanasia]

I'd have to say hands down I prefer to be spanked. I like having someone else in control and I love kink.

I just don't know about extremes yet. O.O

 

[trisquel_astur]

good beginning

So you have a submisive tendence?

That's nice. Well... how to begin?

You love be spanked and under control....

What about be tied up and blindfolded?

 

[trisquel_astur]

as a Dom of a sweet and nice subbie, I like see her completely dependent of me, tied, blindfolded, exposed... and she enjoys it so much... and then play with her body... spank her, lick her, crop her, pass ice for her nipples...

 

[Athanasia]

i like tied up with rope and blindfolds are awesome. it heightens sensation. i dont know about handcuffs yet.

 

[trisquel_astur]

try! it's a very different feeling.
leather cuffs both for feet and hands (I love the smell of the cuir in the skin of my subbie!) also is nice

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I'd have to say hands down I prefer to be spanked. I like having someone else in control and I love kink.

I just don't know about extremes yet. O.O

extremes come later, you don't start out being a hard core masochist, and you don't necessarily have to be a masochist at all, it's all in what you like, and levels change as you grow and follow your journey. 3 years ago i was no where near where i am now, i didn't like the idea much of having clothespins on my nipples nor did i really like the idea of being hit with a flogger, or candle wax dripped on me, those are pretty basic to me now, and i'm ready to move on to being hit harder with the flogger, more candle wax, having the clothespins left on longer, so as i said, it's a matter of what you want how you grow...good luck to you, and you defiantly have found a good start in coming here, the people here are full of good advice and lots of experience combined, so ask questions, listen closely, and find out what works best for you, throw out the rest *smiles* welcome to our lil corner of lit!!

 

[trisquel_astur]

extremes come later, you don't start out being a hard core masochist, and you don't necessarily have to be a masochist at all, it's all in what you like, and levels change as you grow and follow your journey. 3 years ago i was no where near where i am now, i didn't like the idea much of having clothespins on my nipples nor did i really like the idea of being hit with a flogger, or candle wax dripped on me, those are pretty basic to me now, and i'm ready to move on to being hit harder with the flogger, more candle wax, having the clothespins left on longer, so as i said, it's a matter of what you want how you grow...good luck to you, and you defiantly have found a good start in coming here, the people here are full of good advice and lots of experience combined, so ask questions, listen closely, and find out what works best for you, throw out the rest *smiles* welcome to our lil corner of lit!!

Perfect exposition!

Nothing to add.

*spank* *kiss* *rose*

 

[Athanasia]

i think i definately want to be a sub.

thank you for your advice

 

[trisquel_astur]

Welcome to this nice world.

Now you have a lot of new friends here, and we will be nice if you pass sometimes for our BDSM cafe to fancy a chat (spicy most of the times).

Only a very important advice:

You can try, but be safe (no pregnacy, scares, mutillations or dead allowed!).

And remember that your submission is the most important gift you can present to your Master. Choose carefully and when you find the Perfect One for you will know.

*kiss* *spanks* *rose*

 

[MasterPhoenix]

also remember this bit of advice: THis lifestyle is a journey not a sprint. Take your time and explore.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

i think i definately want to be a sub.

thank you for your advice

just be careful, don't go for the first Dom who tells you that He's a Dom, ask questions, and if He's hesitant on answering any of them, run, if you don't feel comfortable than it's probably not right. don't offer your submission to just anyone, it's a gift and not one to be taken lightly. when Master first said to me that He would mentor me if i wanted to explore my submission, right after He said it, He said, Don't answer me now, read, learn, think about it, and then give me your answer. He knew what my answer was going to be but He wanted me to think about it long and hard before giving Him my gift of submission. i know for alot of submisives when they first found this lifestyle, they go nuts and want to submit to the first Dom who shows them some interest, i'm not saying this is you, and it actually has a name 'sub frenzy' you are so eager to explore this new world that you just grab up the first one, that is dangerous, luckily for me, this lifestyle (Master) found me and i got lucky that He was not an abuser, but there are many out there who are just waiting to take advantage of a new submissive..so again, be careful, explore, read, learn, listen, and then act....have a good time!

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Ask a lot of questions of any potential Dom.

If you set up a meet, use safecalls, meet in public, etc...

 

[Penalt]

Remember the three laws of BDSM...

Safe

Sane

Consensual

 

[catalina_francisco]

And unless you feel so undeniably safe when meeting to play with someone for the first time that you don't need a safe call, don't allow them to tie you up or restrain you in any way which means you cannot get away or stop what is happening if necessary...if you do feel so safe you don't feel the need for a safe call or caution, please make sure you know your feelings are not wishful thinking. Of course there are safe words, but if you are bound or restrainted by someone who seriously wants to harm you, they are not going to be interested whether you safe word or not....unfortunately they are not a magic fix and require responsibility and honour on both sides of the rope.

Catalina

 

[the captians wench]

I love telling this story....

When I had just seperated from my ex, well about 3 months after, I started hanging around the shop that sold my costumes a lot more. This shop was always buzzing with doms and subbies and dommies and what not. I wasn't exactly proclaiming myself a sub at the time, but I was very curious.

Well one night a couple of friends from the shop and I just sort of hung out all night. I was having some problems with my mom and didn't want to go home so they sort of took me in. Anyway, it got late, and the other subbie and I were on her bed sort of getting ready to sleep and the dom guy was sort of still nagging us a bit.

The two of them got to teasing each other, and she smacked on him a couple of times. He finally decided she was being too cheeky and grabed a belt off of her wall. She coiled up and said, "I'm still sore (from last night's beating). Beat wenchie, she wants beat. Beat her"

He looked at me and then looked at her again and said "yes but she's not hitting me."

*grin* Of course I took that as my cue as to how to get what I really wanted to try, so I crawled over to the side of the bed he was standing by and tapped him on his arm.

He just grinned, sighed, shrugged and said "okay".

Next thing I know she's sitting off in a cornor, I'm bound by my wrists to the bed so that I'm on my knees with my head down, and he's wailing on me with what ever he can find.

I loved the experience, and giggled the whole way thru. Which freaked them out a bit. It was a great introduction by people I cared about, and I love that we can still play like that.

Good luck with your exploration, and I hope your first time is as memerable as mine.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Well, rose and I's first scene was the night I arrived. She was in her bedroom and we were kissing, and I just took her shirt & bra off and started smacking her with My bare hand, and took control. At that moment, there were no words. And she was scared a bit at first, but once I started talking to her about being Mine... it turned out great.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Well, rose and I's first scene was the night I arrived. She was in her bedroom and we were kissing, and I just took her shirt & bra off and started smacking her with My bare hand, and took control. At that moment, there were no words. And she was scared a bit at first, but once I started talking to her about being Mine... it turned out great.

LOL, yours sounds a lot less stressful than ours....he had me undress first, then had to be inspected, then had to wait for a bit, then he got around to flogging and caning me to the reddened state in the pic I posted in another thread around here (think it was the one about first meetings), then we moved onto a bondage session and more painplay, and after all that for a few hours, we finally got around to the sexual part though it was still D/s influenced....we didn't sleep much the first couple of days. ..oh, and we did have to drive back to the city to sign all the papers that couldn't be done through postal so we could be married 2 weeks later.

Catalina

 

[Athanasia]

:drool:

 

[lil_slave_rose]

LOL, yours sounds a lot less stressful than ours....he had me undress first, then had to be inspected, then had to wait for a bit, then he got around to flogging and caning me to the reddened state in the pic I posted in another thread around here (think it was the one about first meetings), then we moved onto a bondage session and more painplay, and after all that for a few hours, we finally got around to the sexual part though it was still D/s influenced....we didn't sleep much the first couple of days. ..oh, and we did have to drive back to the city to sign all the papers that couldn't be done through postal so we could be married 2 weeks later.

Catalina

*smiles* well, i'm a beginner masochist *grins* and canes scare the crap out of me. i've been flogged, bound, played with candle wax and that's about it. i saw the pic of your first night together and all i said was dayum! LOL even right now, i don't think i could handle that much pain, i envy you this time however, i do expect He will be a little more 'rough' and hit me a little harder, and i'm ready for that, i think....lol

the only bruises i had from our first time (the whole week) were the ones He made with His hands the first night

 

[catalina_francisco]

the only bruises i had from our first time (the whole week) were the ones He made with His hands the first night

Hands are often the best way to get marked in a way which lasts more than an hour or 2. ....and they are so easy to pack for a day out!!

Catalina

 

[MasterPhoenix]

LOL, yours sounds a lot less stressful than ours....he had me undress first, then had to be inspected, then had to wait for a bit, then he got around to flogging and caning me to the reddened state in the pic I posted in another thread around here (think it was the one about first meetings), then we moved onto a bondage session and more painplay, and after all that for a few hours, we finally got around to the sexual part though it was still D/s influenced....we didn't sleep much the first couple of days. ..oh, and we did have to drive back to the city to sign all the papers that couldn't be done through postal so we could be married 2 weeks later.

Catalina

I saw that pic, and yeah you did get it much harsher than My rose. I had thought about doing some of the ritualistic inspections, but then it came time... I was in attack mode.

 

[Athanasia]

attack mode hehee