Curious about BDSM

[Silverluna]

Hi I'm relatively new to this form of erotic play....I've read some erotic fiction about this....Anne Rice's work and thought it sounded worth a try sometime....
Any info for a newbie? *blush*

 

[Silverluna]

Intro....

Yes I've read the info at the top of the BDSM forum.....

 

[artful]

Hi I'm relatively new to this form of erotic play....I've read some erotic fiction about this....Anne Rice's work and thought it sounded worth a try sometime....
Any info for a newbie? *blush*

Welcome,...You have come to the right place to learn. Just read any of the threads that interest you, ask any questions you want,...someone or more likely,...MANY will give you answers. Don't rush it,...take your time. Take time to assimilate info,...and sort through the different aspects and viewpoints. Good luck!

P.S.~ Check out this link!http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=81549&perpage=20&pagenumber=1

 

[Merelan]

You started right. Pick some threads and read them. Listen to what your body responds to, and what it doesn't.
Ad be very careful who you "play" with, even online. You just sent up a flag by announcing you were new and curious.


I do not mean anyone in particular with this. I mean that. But there are a few here at Lit who sit and look for those such as you.

Read, enjoy. Play, experiment.

 

[Skally]

Also, if you have questions, then feel free to ask

PS, I've just finished reading some of the Anne Rice books myself. I've been reading the Vampire Chronicles but I like the way she writes so I'll be on the lookout for more.

 

[Gutterslut]

You started right. Pick some threads and read them. Listen to what your body responds to, and what it doesn't.
Ad be very careful who you "play" with, even online. You just sent up a flag by announcing you were new and curious.


I do not mean anyone in particular with this. I mean that. But there are a few here at Lit who sit and look for those such as you.

Read, enjoy. Play, experiment.

what do u mean by be careful? I guess im slow to understand. Is it a bad thing that their just looking for newbies? Let me know..ive also been so curious..

 

[~Dream~]

With Artful's permission,

I agree 100% with what my Master Artful has said , and if anyone cares to pm me it's ok ,esp you Gutterslut as we post in the same thread... I have only been a sub going on 3 weeks but I may have fresh perspectives for you ..take things slowly tho..look for the "right and best Master ,I did

 

[Silverluna]

Anne Rice

The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty.....quite possibly the best Erotic Trilogy in existance...

I *do* a bit erm...stuff already....spanking, tying up mates....(light stuff?) I think I'm more of a switch really...something about being in control?

*shuts up now* (i'm no newbie to lit....just to this area)

 

[CarolineOh]

what do u mean by be careful? I guess im slow to understand. Is it a bad thing that their just looking for newbies? Let me know..ive also been so curious..

There are a lot of people online who do not play safe, who do not subscribe to the Safe, Sane, Consentual motto, and they are on the lookout for inexperienced people to play with. without regard to their partner's well being. To me, if someone is looking for just newbies to play with, that sends up a warning flag. Ask yourself why they wouldn't want to meet experienced people. Perhaps because they know that those with experience will see through them?
There is a great deal of great advice and information in this forum, gutterslut, I hope you will make yourself at home here.

 

[Silverluna]

dittos...

Gutterslut....they've got a point...even i know that unfortunatly...(but i got lucky)......

 

[MissTaken]

Silverluna?

It sounds like you have some idea concerning what you are interested in trying.

If you have an SO interested as well, that is half the battle won.

I really enjoyed the Sleeping Beauty trilogy as well. Parts of it made me think. Parts made me very hot.

The Story of O is another BDSM classic that you might find good reading.

Take care and pm me if you wish.

hugs

Miss T

 

[Gutterslut]

There are a lot of people online who do not play safe, who do not subscribe to the Safe, Sane, Consentual motto, and they are on the lookout for inexperienced people to play with. without regard to their partner's well being. To me, if someone is looking for just newbies to play with, that sends up a warning flag. Ask yourself why they wouldn't want to meet experienced people. Perhaps because they know that those with experience will see through them?
There is a great deal of great advice and information in this forum, gutterslut, I hope you will make yourself at home here.

ohh thanks hun
Well, im not experienced, im very new to this, and i do sorta have a master, but im not too sure what i think of it.. he was very nice at first, then now, hes very mean to me, he wont let me do anything, wont let me talk to anyone..and i dont know how to tell him i dont want him as a master anymore... thats why i came in here..to see if someone can show me the light on it a bit, and let me see if his way is the way everyones is.
i dont make sense, im tired..
Sorry, nite nite all,
**hard kisses~~

 

[CarolineOh]

If you are not comfortable in the relationship, you need to get out of it. I would consider it a warning sign if a dominant did not want me to talk to anyone. Either he doesn't trust you, or he is afraid you might find out something he doesn't want you to know. Either way, that's no way to maintain a relationship of any kind, especially not a bdsm relationship, where trust is all important.

 

[Gutterslut]

If you are not comfortable in the relationship, you need to get out of it. I would consider it a warning sign if a dominant did not want me to talk to anyone. Either he doesn't trust you, or he is afraid you might find out something he doesn't want you to know. Either way, that's no way to maintain a relationship of any kind, especially not a bdsm relationship, where trust is all important.

Yeah, I figure I will have to tell him sometime, im just trying to think of the best way to do it

 

[Shadowsdream]

Tell Him the truth

He doesn't deserve you.

 

[Gutterslut]

Tell Him the truth

He doesn't deserve you.

i told him, and he said i cant get out of it now, because when we started this, i supposedly knew his rules, and his rules are what I should obey, and hes pretty much telling me that I cant get out of it, since he tells me what to do, and he dont want me out of it

 

[Silverluna]

just say NO!?

gutter,
perhaps i'm mistaken here...but why can't you just say fuck you to him and leave him? who cares if he claims there's a set of rules against it...just walk out?

 

[Gutterslut]

Re: just say NO!?

gutter,
perhaps i'm mistaken here...but why can't you just say fuck you to him and leave him? who cares if he claims there's a set of rules against it...just walk out?

well he knows alot of my friends.. and i dont wanna start shit with him.. that and hes crazy.. seriously fucking crazy. He told me hes in love with me and all sorts of shit and that if i talk to anyone else he'll kill them (i dont think hes serious) but hes still psycho.

 

[Frouwa_Aph]

i told him, and he said i cant get out of it now, because when we started this, i supposedly knew his rules, and his rules are what I should obey, and hes pretty much telling me that I cant get out of it, since he tells me what to do, and he dont want me out of it

Oh bullshit... if he doesn't respect your feelings of discomfort, he's not worth calling himself a master.
BDSM relationships are based on trust, if one party feels s/he can't trust the other anymore, the relationship is about to end.

I'm sure you've read the sticky post in this forum about the Online Predator. It definetely sounds like he preyed on you, because you are at the beginning of exploring your submissive feelings and he's hoping he can bully you. Looks like he's wrong! Since you've recognized his bull.

Monika

 

[Gutterslut]

Oh bullshit... if he doesn't respect your feelings of discomfort, he's not worth calling himself a master.
BDSM relationships are based on trust, if one party feels s/he can't trust the other anymore, the relationship is about to end.

I'm sure you've read the sticky post in this forum about the Online Predator. It definetely sounds like he preyed on you, because you are at the beginning of exploring your submissive feelings and he's hoping he can bully you. Looks like he's wrong! Since you've recognized his bull.

Monika

wow, thanks., I actually hadnt read that until now.. I understand now.. and ill find a way to get him to leave me alone.
THanks hun

 

[CarolineOh]

Oh bullshit... if he doesn't respect your feelings of discomfort, he's not worth calling himself a master.
BDSM relationships are based on trust, if one party feels s/he can't trust the other anymore, the relationship is about to end.

I'm sure you've read the sticky post in this forum about the Online Predator. It definetely sounds like he preyed on you, because you are at the beginning of exploring your submissive feelings and he's hoping he can bully you. Looks like he's wrong! Since you've recognized his bull.

Monika

Right on, Monika!

 

[Ebonyfire]

I second that!

Right on, Monika!

If any other newbies are reading this with stars in their eyes and thinking they have met "Mister Good Dom", step back, take a deep breath and GO SLOW.

What's the rush? Get to know the Man before you submit to the Dom.

Ebony

 

[DVS]

wow, thanks., I actually hadnt read that until now.. I understand now.. and ill find a way to get him to leave me alone. THanks hun

Actually, it would be nice to hear, when you are finally free from him. He does sound like a preditor. Could you post your progress? And, I am sure you could probably benefit from other's experiences in dealing with this type of person.

 

[Skally]

There are people out there who use BDSM as a cover for abusing someone - which is exactly what this guy is doing.

He sounds a bit weird to say the least - I would get out no matter what. He's thinking that you're weak and that he can control you which is not the SSC way.

Get help from your friends if needed, even if he is very manipulative.

 

[WillowPuss]

Gutterslut, is this a real life relationship or an on-line one.

If it is an online one, you could always take the step I found I had to take - and totally block him, from the chat room, email AAND messenger.

I must admit - I wish I had seen that thread about online predators BEFORE I started my journey. Guess I am/was just lucky.

Hope it works out for you. (((hugs)))

willow