Cuming too quick

[shadyc718]

hello my name is chris and i am wondering something. i am 18 years old and i want to know if this is not right. if not i would like some feed back on how to improve this. when my girlfirend and i are having sex we do all usuall things we start off with oral and have sex. we also have foreplay. the question i am asking is that i cum usllay like 5 mins while fucking her. now a year ago i didnt cvum as much, hell it was really hard for me to cum. i was able to cum by my self very easily, and my ex couldnt make me at all. we have sex for hours no luck. but now with this new girl i ahve been seeing i dont want to disappoint her at all. now i masterbate everyday and is that bad also?

 

[Linyari]

This is the advice I've given to other guys that have asked me the same question. I have stolen this advice directly from my husband so I can't claim it as my own.

He used to have a hard time lasting, especially when he was younger. (Which may not be a bad thing as I have yet to meet an 18 year old male who wasn't ready to go again shortly after.) What he did was start to train himself. Basically, you masturbate until you feel that you are ready to orgasm and then stop. You do that a lot. (You do eventually get to orgasm, you really only need to do that several times each time you masturbate.) Eventually, you'll be able to control your orgasms. You learn when you reach that point just before the point of no return and you'll step off for a moment, change positions or start imagining something. I dunno. It's something that takes time, you won't master the skill overnight, but it will come.

Also, something to take note of is how much foreplay are you getting from her. I've found that the times I give a lot of oral attention significantly reduces the lasting power of the men I've been with. So, you may need to hold off on her giving you oral or any other stimulation in that area. Or, if she enjoys it, let her give first. Then before you get into actual intercourse, concentrate heavily on her foreplay and that may make it so you can "staunch the flow" a little longer. *grin*

 

[naxalite0906]

This is the advice I've given to other guys that have asked me the same question. I have stolen this advice directly from my husband so I can't claim it as my own.

He used to have a hard time lasting, especially when he was younger. (Which may not be a bad thing as I have yet to meet an 18 year old male who wasn't ready to go again shortly after.) What he did was start to train himself. Basically, you masturbate until you feel that you are ready to orgasm and then stop. You do that a lot. (You do eventually get to orgasm, you really only need to do that several times each time you masturbate.) Eventually, you'll be able to control your orgasms. You learn when you reach that point just before the point of no return and you'll step off for a moment, change positions or start imagining something. I dunno. It's something that takes time, you won't master the skill overnight, but it will come.

Also, something to take note of is how much foreplay are you getting from her. I've found that the times I give a lot of oral attention significantly reduces the lasting power of the men I've been with. So, you may need to hold off on her giving you oral or any other stimulation in that area. Or, if she enjoys it, let her give first. Then before you get into actual intercourse, concentrate heavily on her foreplay and that may make it so you can "staunch the flow" a little longer. *grin*

This isnt always true... once i get to "the point of no return" it will only take a minute or so, probably less, before I cum, no matter how long I back off for or try something else.
All I say is just keep practising with her, she wont mind

 

[chris9]

Relax your buttocks. Helps at least a little.

Go a second time.

Satisfy her in other ways.

Get older

 

[LordHawk]

Have you tried giving her all the foreplay? Give her all the oral sex, stroke her body, make her cum as much as you can before you are even touched. On the occasions that I cum before my little one, I am often able to still move in her enough to get her off. Which proves to me that size doesn't matter since I can give her an amazing orgasm with a half soft cock. Also, if you learn to strengthen your PC muscle, you can learn to orgasm without ejaculation which means your erection doesn't fade.

 

[Linyari]

This isnt always true... once i get to "the point of no return" it will only take a minute or so, probably less, before I cum, no matter how long I back off for or try something else.

Of course, that's why it's called the point of no return. *grin*

I meant learning where your point of no return is and stopping before you get there. Otherwise, like you said, it's not going to do you a whole lot of good.

 

[wickedlady31]

m....

The advice given was sound advice. My husband, if given a lot of oral stimuli, will not last very long...so when he feels the build up of orgasm, he stops....sometimes he pulls out.....and waits until it passes....
If we have sex frequently, the urge to ejaculate wanes a bit...like..having sex daily....but we have four kids..we don't have the time for that.....much anyway....
Masterbating is also good...try masterbating an hour or two before you plan on having sex...

 

[chris9]

Have you tried giving her all the foreplay? Give her all the oral sex, stroke her body, make her cum as much as you can before you are even touched. On the occasions that I cum before my little one, I am often able to still move in her enough to get her off. Which proves to me that size doesn't matter since I can give her an amazing orgasm with a half soft cock. Also, if you learn to strengthen your PC muscle, you can learn to orgasm without ejaculation which means your erection doesn't fade.

This can lead to the opposite though. Sometimes it's better to get going slowly, be stimulated for a while on a 'just fun' level before having intercourse to make it last longer. Not as extreme.

 

[LordHawk]

This can lead to the opposite though. Sometimes it's better to get going slowly, be stimulated for a while on a 'just fun' level before having intercourse to make it last longer. Not as extreme.

This is true. Also, the problem could be mental. I met my girl online and when we first got together, I hard a time even getting it up for sex. My mind was interfering with things something awful. We'd be making out and things and I'd be hard as rock but when it came time to perform the damn thing would wilt. I suppose I was afraid about not being good enough for her that I was making it true.
You couldn't give her all the attention all the time but on occasion it would be nice. Make it all about her one evening and then she can return the favor. Also, if your young enough, it shouldn't take you long before your ready to go again anyway. I've often been able to fuck mywife to orgasm after I've came. I have found if we haven't had sex in a while, I do tend to blow quicker then normal.

 

[naxalite0906]

Of course, that's why it's called the point of no return. *grin*

I meant learning where your point of no return is and stopping before you get there. Otherwise, like you said, it's not going to do you a whole lot of good.

Even then, I still remain very excitable.. Ive just found other ways... I think if i had more practise it would make a lot of difference too!

 

[SweetErika]

Have you tried either masturbating before you see each other or her getting you off (via oral, manual or sex), then you focusing on her while you recharge, then going for sex?

Hopefully you're also using condoms, even if she's on birth control. While they don't help my husband a ton, they do decrease sensation enough to hold it off somewhat.

You should also look into kegel exercises for men. By strengthening the muscles that allow you to make your cock "jump" and stop the flow of urine over time (it takes at least 6 weeks of daily exercise usually for noticeable gain), you should be able to stop yourself from ejaculating. With time and practice, many men can achieve multiple orgasms this way as well, so it's just a good idea all around.

Last night when Hubby was about to come, we stopped for him to give me oral (any other type of stimulation would work, too). Doing this a couple of times led to incredible orgasms for both of us, so that might be something to try.

Finally, don't worry about this too much. Contrary to what so many men believe, intercourse is not the main source of physical pleasure for most women. Develop your other lovemaking skills, and she should be satisfied. If penetration is important to her, you could always use fingers and toys to provide g-spot stimulation before and after sex to increase her pleasure.

 

[SexyGolem]

Try having her on top, When you do this it means that you won't be thrusting as much, this means you won't be contracting your anus muscle, which will relieve pressure on your prostate, which might help you last longer. Generally positions in which you thrust less will have this effect. But of course, what everyone else said is true too and you probably want to work on a variety of practices.

 

[Bert Notorius]

Equate makes a product called Vagicaine, used to numb, I guess vaginas (vaginae?). Anyway, it has 20% benzocaine and 3% resorscinol. You could apply this to the penis if over sensation is the issue. You might want to use a condom or everyone will numb out. Sensation will eventually return. Just a thought.

 

[yoshimitsu]

Linyari and SexyGolem's posts are both things that work well for me. For the masterbation side it's all about traning yourself. If when you masterbate the goal is to cum as quicly as possible then your body is used to that and will respond the same way during intercourse. At least for me.
I have a hard time cumming with woman on top so even if I am about to cum she can jump on top and extend the time considerably.
One other thing I have found while having sex is if I vary speed and take it slow from time to time and then stop for a bit to eat her out, lick her nipples whatever for a while eventually it becomes harder and harder to cum. Usually the longer I have sex the harder I need to work to get off so if I want to last I just do whatever it takes not to cum for a while and then I can pick up the pace and go considerably longer. Sometimes after too long I won't be able to get off in that session but it just means that 5, 10, 15 minutes later I will be twice as hard and ready as ever and round two ends with a major bang.

Oh and you ask if it's not right to have little stamina. Well it depends on you and her. She may think it's the perfect amount of time right now. If you train to last longer it might push her too far and just be less fun or uncomfortable. On the other hand she may want it to last longer and if so there are definitely things to do to make that happen. Talk to her and see what her thoughts are.
I must say it can be a blast though to take it nice and slow and make a night of it and it doesn't all need to be penetration or genitally based.
Try getting close to cumming, eat her out for a while, give her a masage, rub her feet (That was about as good for my ex as genital sitmulation ) then have really slow intimate sex for a while then eat her out again then fuck her brains out.

 

[Eric623]

Have you tried giving her all the foreplay? Give her all the oral sex, stroke her body, make her cum as much as you can before you are even touched. On the occasions that I cum before my little one, I am often able to still move in her enough to get her off. Which proves to me that size doesn't matter since I can give her an amazing orgasm with a half soft cock. Also, if you learn to strengthen your PC muscle, you can learn to orgasm without ejaculation which means your erection doesn't fade.

This really works for me in a partner situation. I find that if I can remain erect for a while without penetration I last longer when it's time. Extended foreplay for her gives me that time to relax even though I remain erect, it takes the edge off.

I have studied and practiced Taoist and tantric techniques for several years now. For some reason, for me, they work great for extended masturbation but not intercourse. The reason, I think is that partnered sex comes very infrequently for me and there is a high level of anxioty leading up to it. The Taoist and tantric techniques do work and are worth learning and practicing. An hour or longer of non ejaculatory masturbation will take you places you only dreamed of.

 

[Eilan]

You registered in November of 2005 and you're still 18?

 

[Mazuri]

You registered in November of 2005 and you're still 18?

Maybe he was born on a leap year? *grins* he'll be 18 for four years!