Cum here often sailor .. can i buy you a drink?

[Isabella Thorne]

Well I guess we have been kidding around a lot about who has the best pick up lines and stuff lol (Siren dear .. i see you smiling mischeouvsly in the background) ..

.. so ok say you are in a bar and are trying to pick up someone ... a stranger catches your eye .. wow they are hot .. you want them to notice you so bad .. what would be your fave pick up line? does it work?

I received this in my email .. thought they were funny (hope you do too .. i personally find humourous pick-up lines work the best) ..

1. Nice legs...what time do they open?

2. Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

3. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

4. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

5. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

6. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

7. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

8. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

9. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

10. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

11. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked

12. The only place I want to go is south of the border.

13. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

14. Girl, if you were a porch I'd take out all the nails and screw ya.

15. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

16. (Look down at your crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.

17. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

18. I may not be Dairy Queen but I'll treat you right.

 

[Sailor]

..........well I suspect that none of the guys will......

.......wanna touch this one with a ten-foot pole.....but since I have an entire mast *grins* I guess I can venture here. (That doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to provide a cute pick-up line either. That would be too dangerous, considering that pick-up lines rarely work because they are too artificial. They work only when they just happen, spontaneously.

What does come to mind, however, is a line blurted out by one of my friends after he had been "rejected" on one of his opposite-gender forays at the beach. He was a rather funny guy. He had a great way with words and was not shy at all with woman. He approached a group of ladies sitting together on a blanket at the beach. He was always very polite and people usually liked him. He had his eye on this one gal and she apparently said something to him that wasn't very nice. The beach was fairly crowded, but everyone around seemed to know what he was up to. He said something back to her and before long they were almost yelling at each other. He got up and started walking back to his beach blanket. Halfway there, he turns and yells back at her: "And I'm not quite sure why you're afraid of going into the water. Shit floats!" The entire beach simply died laughing.

.....and yes Isabella, I'd like to cum here often. *grins* And I'd like a drink of nectar. From which font shall I drink?

/s/ Sailor

 

[Expertise]

None of my own because they are ineffective and weak and I generaly suck at "the pickup"

I have two friends who are pretty much Jedi Masters at this "art".

My friend Tom is blessed with natural charm, wit and good looks. When this particular incident occurred he had just broke up with the third "sunshine girl" (page three girls for the brits)he had dated within the past two years, but I digress. Anyway we were at a club in Toronto when we noticed these two absolutely stunning women sitting in a booth a little ways away. Tom suggested that we go talk to them. I said no. They looked like they had just stepped off the cover of Vogue and I was to say the least a little intimidated. Eventualy after much convincing by Tom and the promise that he would "do the talking I relented. He very simply and politely walked up to them looked at them and said "Hi, my names Tom and this is my friend Expertise whats yours?
She replied in a very cold voice FUCKOFF
To which Tom damn near instantaneously replied Oh,...so your Russian
Once the got it, they laughed and we were invited to sit.

Now after that witty and urbane line, the polar opposite, my friend Andrew. Tall good looking with a great smile his most effective line. This thing worked with absolutely stunning regularity (it still amazes me that it didn't get him killed). His killer line "Show me your gash"

 

[SimplySouthern]

I'm not quick enough to think of good pickup lines...they either come to me or they don't. SOmetimes I am blessed with the intelligence to come up with something witty, but most of the time I find that introducing myself to someone and starting a general conversation will be enough.

Course staring at his package, licking my lips and spitting out the cherry stem I have tied in a knot with my tongue works too....LOL

 

[Bushido71XS]

I had a buddy of mine who took the direct approach, "Look honey, I just came here tonight to get laid." I swear to god, that guy got more ass than a ladies room toilet seat.


Me, I'm honest, " I thought you were attractive and wondered if I might buy you a drink?"
Course, guys can do the cherry stem trick too Simply....

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I once opened for Soupy Sales (who had a dreadful act when he wasn't reminiscing about his old TV show). His best joke was a "pick-up" line he threw out to women in the front row:

"Madame, have you heard about the 60 second rapist? Got a minute?"

That was his best joke.

 

[SimplySouthern]

That trick impresses the hell outta me Bush...licking his eyebrows does the trick too.

 

[Expertise]

Sorry SS I can't lick my eyebrows but I can lick the tip of my nose. Honest. *wait...should I be proud of that... thats actually a little gross...but its kinda' cool too... yeah, i'd like it if I saw a woman do that*

 

[SimplySouthern]

*not even gonna sk how one finds out they can lick the tip of their nose...ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww*

Gotta say, I'm really not impressed by that. You are gonna have to come up with something better than that

 

[Endlessly]

Fuck me, it ain't rained all day!

If I saw a guy lick his eyebrows, I'd think he belonged more in the X-men movie than in my bed. ANYway.

One I've actually had used on me: "I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body, so can I borrow yours?"

One I've actually used: Now remember ladies, this only works in a skimpy bathing suit at a pool. You walk by the lifeguard station on the safe concrete, giggle, and call up in a quietly sultry voice-- "Help! I'm, uhhhh, drowning."

 

[Expertise]

Well SS I was just home one day hangin' my nuts off the couch....

There was no mucas or fluid of any type involved. Sober second thought is telling me that it is pretty gross though.

 

[Thumper]

Los'fer words...

I am usually at a loss for words in those situations....matter of fact I don't recall ever approaching a woman. I usually wait for them to talk to me...painfully shy ya know. All they have to say is "hello"

Did get a rather rude comment when I went to the Poison show last month. I was wearing my leather pants and boots and a striped cowboy hat(hey it's an 80's thing!) and apparently to people who are rather inebriated I resemble Dana Strum (from Slaughter) My friend and I were walking around and a small group of people stopped us and made comment on the resemblance..in a drunken slur "Hey you're that dude from Slaughter" I said who and this girl(rather attractive) asked if I was "Dick Slaughter", look of puzzlement on my face i just said "uh..no" then she said "Well you're packin it" looking downward. I thought "Ok which one of these guys is your boyfreind/slash husband" and made a fast retreat. My freind laughed his ass off...I was just embarassed. I got the feeling she was making fun of me...

I have a mind too I am not just some piece of meat sex object!
*Siren can ignore that last comment*

 

[Bushido71XS]

One that I've actually used: I want to go down on you and make you faint.

She said: Bullshit

Guess what? I won

 

[Siren]

Thumpie, is my humpie boy

 

[Isabella Thorne]

ok ok i'll buy all of ya drinks

hey Popeye dear .. you know what .. i think you are right .. there is no perfect pick up line ..

*except that one with the life guard lol* ..

cause i guess you have to think of something clever and funny to say that is exclusive to the person you wanna meet .. that would be best, right? .. like the way i use my sailor lines with you?

ha ha chandler .. sunshine girls LMAO .. i like the sunshine boys too .. but dammit all .. they are always these little black and white pics near the end of the paper ..

Scarlett darling .. i could never in a million years imagine you anywhere near an attractive man without a witty thing to say to him ... and without the handsome man falling all over himself trying to get closer to you too

.. and i know what you mean bout Soupy Dixon .. that is one hot dude ..

yes it's true Thumper .. i had to say hi to you first when we passed each other in the halls at Rock and Roll High School .. i even offered to carry your books ..

really Bushido .. she actually fainted when you went down on her????

i never doubted you for a minute Siren dear .. i am sure you can get any man's attention that you set out to get ..




[Edited by Isabella Thorne on 07-21-2000 at 04:43 PM]

 

[Bushido71XS]

Yes Isabella, I'm quite happy she was satisfied

I will say this however, my tongue was a wee bit tired afterwards, not to mention my jaw.

 

[Rosebud]

How about this one Southern

you know those little chills you get for no reason? I am sorry about that...it is then that you are running naked through my mind

 

[Savage Kitten]

as a matter of fact

Last night I was driving down the interstate (not a very good place to try a pick up line) and a car past me that I thought the driver looked very very familiar. But, as i seen his tag i realized it couldn't be possible.

I thought "hmmmmm if i had a chance to speak to him i could say, 'Don't I know you? (pause while i look him over) You look like someone i wished i knew.'"

do you think it might actually work?

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Re: How about this one Southern

you know those little chills you get for no reason? I am sorry about that...it is then that you are running naked through my mind

ok WTF Miss Rosie .. you used the same damn pick up line with me as you're using now with Miss Scarlett .. well i never felt so used in all my life .. and i fell for it ... ok rosie that is the last damn time i am going to run through your mind naked .. lol

kitten .. cool line .. but i agree it wouldn't work if you were speeding by the other driver .. yelling it out your car window to him .. and while trying to look sexy behind your steering wheel .. i mean he probably wouldn't be able to hear you anyway with all the traffic whizzing by .. lol

 

[bud]

hey

how about hey baby i would like to eat you for hours?got slapped then but later she came over to the pool table and whispered,did you mean what you said awhile ago? we went to her house

 

[Treat]

Best line I have ever heard, was from a comedia (can't remember who). But he said he treats women in a bar looking for a night of sex like a stamp.

Lick 'em
Stick 'em
And send them on their way.

As stated above, only for booty calls.....lol

 

[Lovely Latina]

I was out celebrating with some girlfriends one night at a local dance club when a (VERY cute) guy came up to me and said, "If I can prove to you that I can walk on water, will you honor me with a dance?"

Before I could say anything in response, he took the glass of water he was holding, dumped its contents onto the floor, proceeded to "walk across the water", and then stood before me with the cutest grin and his hands outstretched as if to say, "Tada!" LOL

Though slightly corny, I thought it was cute and refreshingly original, but unfortunately I was married at the time and told him so. But my single girlfriends (little slutpuppies, they are *lol*) wasted no time in inviting him to join our little girl's night out. He was so damn funny and charming...he had us blowing margaritas out our noses the entire night!

So remember: Humor and originality will get you everywhere, guys. (Well...ALMOST everywhere.)

 

[SimplySouthern]

Bush ~ No shit? made her faint? Sounds like something you would have to prove before I would believe it

Shameless...I am shameless.

Rosie ~ Running naked through your mind? Now I know why my feet are so tired!

Izzy Pop~ Thanks for the confidence in me. I'm dismayed to report that as of yet, no men are falling all over themselves for me. Perhaps tomorrow.

 

[Rosebud]

Don't worry Southern dear I will rub them for you

 

[Bushido71XS]

Bush ~ No shit? made her faint? Sounds like something you would have to prove before I would believe it

But my Dear, I hardly know you