Culicarius' Poetry

[Culicarius]

Hey everyone, poet and writer here. This seems like a cozy little corner of the forum here, and I figured I'd share some of my work here and take a look at other peoples' as well.

Feel free to comment and critique my work, I've got a hard shell.

Generally I don't title my poems, so I will mark the end of a poem with asterisks.



Lust is a wanderer
with a telescope to see your deep skies
explore every crevice of sweet decadence
between the mountains plant kisses
and grow embraced in your tender warmth.

*******

I could watch you Spin a web my Life
Around and around a Clockwork Dance
Ending with your Silk against my lips.

*******

Could I drift into the night,
Like Songs of Flowers in the night?
Shuffled Dances in the streets,
Listing off my daunting feats.
Remembered, I shall - Alexander -
To no soul shall I pander.
To craft up a history,
Create a vision - Of Me.
Eons, Worlds come and Go.
Yet my Name - All shall know.

******

A moment may I have –
Reflections – To see what I’ve heard,
For what I see and what I have
Deceptions – underneath My Earth.

Though winter chills and summer burns,
I need not – Reminders.
The blue notes of the nightly songs,
And the thump – and thump – thump.

Bedroom walls that crawl with spirits,
The cries, each night, I hear it.
Covet the silence drink spirits,
The dark, at night, I hear it.

A paradise within the shores –
Gentle Waves, Gentle Waves.
A paradise that’s far away –
Gentle Waves, Gentle Waves.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Hi and welcome, to be honest I have no idea what any of your poems are about, which is probably my fault but if nobody understands them how can they appreciate them?

 

[pensivepoet]

I like your poems, which is pretty much the kiss of death.
But you shouldn't let that stop you from posting them, nor should it encourage you to express yourself differently.

 

[butters]

welcome!

i really like the second piece there - sensual, has movement, highly visual. i'd like to ask why you opt for the capitals where you do, specifically? i felt it worked just as well without but am interested in how different poets make their choices.

 

[twelveoone]

I like your poems, which is pretty much the kiss of death.
But you shouldn't let that stop you from posting them, nor should it encourage you to express yourself differently.

you dead baby, double buss.
I'm not going to attempt to translate 1,2, or 3, they seem oblivious to me
4 comes off as fey and forced accented by the Caps, I would rethink the Caps in all but 3, unless you have a reason for it I don't know

I could watch you Spin a web my Life
Around and around a Clockwork Dance
Ending with your Silk against my lips.

Life in caps, not lips?
I would even consider taking out the front end caps

 

[pensivepoet]

See? I was playing nice cop/mean cop.
But i forgot to wait for my turn.
Yeah, perp, they're kinda messy
Dun da da dun (dragnet)

 

[Culicarius]

When I capitalize words I want to bring the attention to them. At least for me when I read a poem and see a capital letter I enunciate it with a little more force. It's still something I'm exploring. After reading some of Emily Dickinson's poetry I thought of ways to incorporate it into my own.

Thanks for the feedback everyone!

 

[twelveoone]

er, I meant obvious not oblivious
metaphored
yeh, I liked the first three.
Emily's been dead how long?

 

[greenmountaineer]

er, I meant obvious not oblivious
metaphored
yeh, I liked the first three.
Emily's been dead how long?

Long live Emily dead.

One of my favorite poems:

I Heard a Fly Buzz When I Died

 

[twelveoone]

Long live Emily dead.

One of my favorite poems:

I Heard a Fly Buzz When I Died

if you scroll down and look at the copyright notice at the bottom of the page, kind of leads you to believe, Belknap, Harvard and Suckdry has the copyright to the poem, which I believe is Public Domain. Their "copyright" most likely is on the use of typeface or arrangement in a book of the poem.

 

[pensivepoet]

After reading Emily's fly, i can see your motive behind the caps.
I'm not qualified to critique the poems cuz i'm not a big fan of Emily or her style, so i withdraw my comments. Nevertheless, i enjoyed them for their theme of reflection through soliloquy.

 

[twelveoone]

Hey everyone, poet and writer here. This seems like a cozy little corner of the forum here, and I figured I'd share some of my work here and take a look at other peoples' as well.

Feel free to comment and critique my work, I've got a hard shell.

Generally I don't title my poems, so I will mark the end of a poem with asterisks.



Lust is a wanderer
with a telescope to see your deep skies
explore every crevice of sweet decadence
between the mountains plant kisses
and grow embraced in your tender warmth.

Where did this guy go?
Am I the only one that sees the richness in telescope?

 

[Angeline]

Hey everyone, poet and writer here. This seems like a cozy little corner of the forum here, and I figured I'd share some of my work here and take a look at other peoples' as well.

Feel free to comment and critique my work, I've got a hard shell.

Generally I don't title my poems, so I will mark the end of a poem with asterisks.



Lust is a wanderer
with a telescope to see your deep skies
explore every crevice of sweet decadence
between the mountains plant kisses
and grow embraced in your tender warmth.

*******

I could watch you Spin a web my Life
Around and around a Clockwork Dance
Ending with your Silk against my lips.

*******

Could I drift into the night,
Like Songs of Flowers in the night?
Shuffled Dances in the streets,
Listing off my daunting feats.
Remembered, I shall - Alexander -
To no soul shall I pander.
To craft up a history,
Create a vision - Of Me.
Eons, Worlds come and Go.
Yet my Name - All shall know.

******

A moment may I have –
Reflections – To see what I’ve heard,
For what I see and what I have
Deceptions – underneath My Earth.

Though winter chills and summer burns,
I need not – Reminders.
The blue notes of the nightly songs,
And the thump – and thump – thump.

Bedroom walls that crawl with spirits,
The cries, each night, I hear it.
Covet the silence drink spirits,
The dark, at night, I hear it.

A paradise within the shores –
Gentle Waves, Gentle Waves.
A paradise that’s far away –
Gentle Waves, Gentle Waves.

I find your writing interesting and inventive, lots of literary influences, too, seems to me. Are you a fan of Pablo Neruda? I got a bit of a Neruda "vibe" reading this. In any case welcome to the forum. There's support and friendship here and everyone has an opinion. We're laid back yet lively.