Cuckolding and Loving Wives.

[Green_Gem]

Would somebody please be kind enough to explain or define what this term 'cuckolding' actually is, and what the fascination with it is.

I'm writing a story that will probably end up in the Loving Wives category, and in looking into the Feedback Portal from time to time, I see that loving wives seems to be synonymous with 'cuckolding' and what readers refer to as ''wimp husbands." My story won't be taking that route ( at least I don't think it is), but perhaps authors who have written for this category can share their experiences. It's quite remarkable really, since the feedback, I've seen on these stories indicates that readers really get worked up emotionally and it ranges from scathing criticism to absolute high praise.

Thanks,

G_G

 

[damppanties]

cuck·old n. - A man married to an unfaithful wife.
tr.v. cuck·old·ed, cuck·old·ing, cuck·olds - To make a cuckold of.

Word History: The allusion to the cuckoo on which the word cuckold is based may not be appreciated by those unfamiliar with the nesting habits of certain varieties of this bird. The female of some Old World cuckoos lays its eggs in the nests of other birds, leaving them to be cared for by the resident nesters. This parasitic tendency has given the female bird a figurative reputation for unfaithfulness as well. Hence in Old French we find the word cucuault, composed of cocu, “cuckoo, cuckold,” and the pejorative suffix -ald and used to designate a husband whose wife has wandered afield like the female cuckoo.

GG, To me, the word cuckold has a slightly stupid feel to it. I have no idea if it's correct or not. Like the husband is stupid not to realise that his wife is being unfaithful to him.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Would somebody please be kind enough to explain or define what this term 'cuckolding' actually is, and what the fascination with it is.

I'm writing a story that will probably end up in the Loving Wives category, and in looking into the Feedback Portal from time to time, I see that loving wives seems to be synonymous with 'cuckolding' and what readers refer to as ''wimp husbands." My story won't be taking that route ( at least I don't think it is), but perhaps authors who have written for this category can share their experiences. It's quite remarkable really, since the feedback, I've seen on these stories indicates that readers really get worked up emotionally and it ranges from scathing criticism to absolute high praise.

Thanks,

G_G

Hi, GG. When I saw the category headed "Loving Wives", like an idiot, I thought it would include stories about loving wives, or couples, and I wrote a story about a loving couple on their wedding night. This is one of the few stories of mine that I do not think of as totally smut.

Anyhow, although the PC were highly complimentary, the story is not well regarded in general. I sppose people read it thinking something "'The Happiest Woman'? Oh boy, this must be about a married woman fucking everybody in town in order to be so happy." When the read the story, which is a little on the saccharine side, they say, "Ewww, gag with me with a spoon", or words to that effect. Oh, well, you can't please everybody.

 

[kellycummings]

Would somebody please be kind enough to explain or define what this term 'cuckolding' actually is, and what the fascination with it is.

I'm writing a story that will probably end up in the Loving Wives category, and in looking into the Feedback Portal from time to time, I see that loving wives seems to be synonymous with 'cuckolding' and what readers refer to as ''wimp husbands." My story won't be taking that route ( at least I don't think it is), but perhaps authors who have written for this category can share their experiences. It's quite remarkable really, since the feedback, I've seen on these stories indicates that readers really get worked up emotionally and it ranges from scathing criticism to absolute high praise.

Thanks,

G_G

Some readers take things so personally. It's praise of a sort when they get pissed at you for a story but I for one wish they'd understand that I'm not the character.
I think the cuckold type stories strike a chord with men because they hate to think of themselves that way. They probably think it makes them less of a man. The male ego is so fragile.

 

[Octavian]

I have written two stories in the category of Loving Wives.

As Green_Gem mentions there are people out there who take distinctly polarised views about such stories. Virtually all the adverse feedback I have received is critical about the basic concept. One or two even suggesting that I consider how the kids might feel knowing their mother is a slut. (My 'heroines' are not even pregnant)

As is obvious from the public feedback to What Kate Did a number of people enjoy Loving Wives stories.

I enjoy such stories if they are well written and if they have a plot, characters and are reasonably plausible. In mine, I have also tried to analyse the conflicting emotions of the couple.

Some stories, however depict the wife's character merely by her bra size, and then, when the husband happens to mention that he has a fantasy about his wife with another man, she immediately becomes a ravenous slut, screwing every male within range.

Other stories portray the husband as a useless wimp who is happy to be utterly humiliated by his wife, by her lover or by both. Such stories may appeal to some people but not to me.

My point is that Loving Wives stories come in all shapes and sizes. Just like the other stories on this site.

What is the fascination with this genre? I don't know. What is the fascination of incest or of anal? It is what rocks your boat I suppose.

Octavian

My Stories

 

[Vincent E]

The cuckold stories are popular because they tap into a humiliation fetish that many men have. It would be more accurate if the category were called Cheating Wives, and I think the humiliation fetishists would prefer the distinction.

 

[curious2c]

I have written a few loving wives stories. I know that in mine I try to keep with a 'happy' ending and a less wimp type hubby. However, many of my readers do get quite emotionally involved in the story. At times I have been taken to task for different things, but a lot of the time those things come out like..."I'd dump the cheating bitch." or "Why do you stay with her?" Showing that somehow I am connected with the story as the 'wimp hubby' or cuckolded hubby.

It used to amaze me to no end, but now I just accept it as part of how things are. I do wish that there were other catagories such as "cheating wives" or perhaps even "cuckolded husbands" as I do see some actual loving wives stories get swept by while the readers are targeting the cheating wife type story.

My themes tend to be of a wife and husband that have a strong love for each other and how that love will overcome a real bad situation in the marriage. (or several bad situations as it were)

Reality I am fully aware that the theme my stories present are not what happens in most cases. Some cannot accept any kind of cheating in any manner from a spouse. At all. In the real world divorce would be the most common occurance. Perhaps my stories hit a nerve that allows what if's or something along those lines.

All I really know for sure is I like writing my stories and when they do well I am even happier. In my real life, I suppose I would have serious issues with a wife that was cheating on me for any reason, but I can't say that I would divorce her...too many variables for me to be sure. It would be hard to accept anyway.

Some readers can be quite...angry with certain characters. Be prepared for some pretty raw and rough feedback. Don't take it too personally though. You will get constructive critizism from many and that will help you as an author. Even some of my more hostile feedback has assisted me in my writing as I get a viewpoint that I do not have in my make up at times. Kindof interesting.

Hope that this wandering post helps you in some way.

 

[gauchecritic]

How about this for an "off the top of my head" theory.

The attraction of cuckolding is similar if not the same as mom-son incest.

It looks to me like the people that enjoy these particular stories take the cuckolder's viewpoint. (the cuckolder being the 'other' man not the wife) They are having sex with another man's wife. A story that capitalises on the feelings of the cheated spouse is likely (or so it seems) to be the main appeal.

Notice here then, the similarity in a large proportion of incest stories. The Mom will often point out that her husband's cock isn't as long, thickly veined, of greater girth than the son's. Often these stories will have the son as a much better lover than the father.

So in both these scenarios we have a man (or son) having sex with another man's wife.

It's not much of a leap to suggest that these are in fact the same story. This is the bigger leap. The cuckolder in the loving wives story could easily be the son in the incest story.

Now we have the young of the family superceding the old and taking the wife of the leader.

So the cuckolding is a transference of the Oedipus story with an 'unknown' father being usurped by the son.

The mirror can be seen in women who are willing to be mistresses to a married man, usurping the 'mother's' position.

Did anybody follow that? Was it worth following?

Gauche

 

[Wills]

Gauche

Impecably well argued.

As ever.

Will's

 

[Guest]

Did anybody follow that? Was it worth following?

Yes. Yes I did. But now I don't know where I am, or the time.

Perdu

 

[curious2c]

gauche, I tend to believe that the cuckolded hubby stories more point to the fact that the husband finds or at least found the wife attractive because he married her. Then, other men, finding her attractive also reinforces that opinion for him. Most of the stories do point to her lovers as being better in some ways (if not all) or larger in the penis department. Perhaps this excuses her cheating on him in his mind then. Afterall, how could she resist a better/bigger lover? How could the other man resist his wife since she is everything the husband was looking for too? There could be a bit of Oedipus basisi there of course, but I still tend to think it is more that other's find his wife attractive to reinforce his reasons for wanting to marry her in the first place.

 

[gauchecritic]

I can see that Curious, "she might be screwing him but she loves me", sort of thing.

Mine wasn't definitive and has absolutely no basis in any great learning, psychology or otherwise, it's just how I see some of the Loving Wives stories.

I haven't read a great many of them but I'd guess that some are about an abused or disabused wife getting her own back, or in a convoluted way the wimpy husband getting his own back by seeing her treated roughly or lots of other things.

I think my thought processes were aimed (in an inexpert view) at the popularity of that type of story. Now I think about it, it is a very Freudian view and I don't subscribe to the Freudian view of psychology at all. I think I was talking about readers rather than writers. Maybe not.

My incest stories are about sex (unless some psychologist can convince me otherwise) and that sometimes men and women can be overcome by lust even if they are closely related. (Maybe I'm being defensive too. Who cares?) But quite a few Loving wives stories remind me of a lot of incest stories, so I was just pointing this out.

Gauche

Edited to add: Perhaps this excuses her cheating on him in his mind then. This reminded me of a thread I was going to start about the absence of kissing. Whatever they do, are they cheating if they don't kiss?

 

[banditman]

I think they're popular with readers and writers because they revolve around conflict. is the husband really going to sit there and take this? when's he going to wake up and kick some butt? how can he put up with her? how can he live with himself?

strong opposing forces almost always make for better reading, even in porn.

 

[Night Writer 99]

I think there's some truth in many of the theories posted here, but some years of investigation of my own have pointed to a powerful, common thread tying readers to cuckold stories.

Stories like Octavian's (hopefully a few of my own as well), are studies of the tension that arises between a husband and wife when the wife is unfaithful. As a man, how would I deal with it? As a man, can I hope to understand a woman's sexuality? Can I learn not to consider her an object, a possession - that she has a right to a libido equal to (or greater than?) a man's? Is this the true trigger of jealousy?

But the true attraction to the hard-core cuckold genre is more primal. In moderate to extreme cases, it is a classic fetish. Rather than the attachment to some object for sexual gratification, the cuckold seeks humiliation, in fact requires it for excitement and release.

Feedback for my stories surprised me (at first) with requests for more extreme forms of humiliation, like forced feminization of the husband, and male-on-male oral sex (wife forces husband to "clean" her lover). So, they want me write gay lit? Nope.

Forums dedicated to the cuckold life-style contain post after post of predictable content, that of the desire for the most extreme forms of humiliation - verbal degradation from the wife, both before and during her intercourse with another man, forcing the husband to dress in women's clothes (e.g. sissy boy), and even castration fantasies.

Although it may be tempting to at first attribute the behavior to latent male homosexuality, such is usually not the case. The cuckold still desires his wife, often more so after each of her ongoing affairs. The need for additional (and more extreme) methods of humiliation is what drives his behaviour.

Why does a man seek out humiliation, and why does he associate it with sex? That's one for the shrinks. My guess is it's impossible to completely understand if you're not in his head.

 

[Vincent E]

Diving into the psychological pool

Most of the cuckolded husband stories that I have read have been from the POV of the cuckold: his relating the events of his wife's infidelity and his general arousal or humiliation at those events. Many of these stories are not very well written, but written well enough to tell the story the author wants to tell. Very often they involve the hackneyed stereotypes of a wife who becomes an insatiable slut or her lover who has a 27-inch penis that comes by the quart. Many times there is a racial angle to the story as well.

It seems to me that several of these stories deal with the "wife as property" mentality. The humilation of a man witnessing his wife's infidelity coupled and confused with the voyuerism aspect of watching her as his favorite porn star. In others it is the concept of infidelity as sexual arousal; the actual idea of his wife cheating is arousal. Still, the POV seems to be exclusive to the male.

Funny though, that there are precious few stories written from a woman's POV regarding the infidelity of her husband and her arousal at witnessing or learning about such events. Women must have some strong feelings about a man's infidelity, either feelings of betrayal or arousal, that could be appropriate for the Loving Wives category. Instead, moist of these stories reduce the woman to nothing more than a fuck toy for the ammusement of men. (Great, now I sound like Gloria fucking Aldred).

Is depth too much to ask for?

Interestingly enough, I have started threads in the past regarding female voyuerism and women who fantasize about watching their men. While there was a strong response from the usual suspects here at the AH, I still do not see many of these types of stories being written from a female POV by women. That would be a refreshing change.

-Vincent
Stuck in New England where the snow is pissing me off.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

It's interesting that 'cuckhold' is the one derogatory word that applies to males only. There is no female version of the cuckhold. A woman whose man cheats on her is seen as a victim: the male cuckhold is usually seen as an object of scorn and ridicule.

Erotically there seems to be two ways to go on the idea of a woman having an outside lover, at least from the male point of view. On the one hand is the humiliation the man feels in such a situation, which apparently appeals to some men, and is the usual slant given the cuckhold story.

The other side is the kind of perverse pleasure a man takes in seeing his wife with another man. This seems to me to have elements of mild sadism in seeing the woman's enforced degradation: making her play the whore. I suppose there's also the eroticv reinforcement of knowing that your woman is desirable to other men. This kind of thing is not really cuckholdry, I suppose, since the man condones or even arranges the outside relationship.

That's my take.

BTW, making a man a cuckhold is also known as putting horns on him, and the cuckhold was often pantomimed by using the fingers to indicate horns on the head. How 'horny' went from meaning betrayed to meaning sexually aroused, I have no idea.

---dr.M.

 

[A7inchPhildo]

I will give a slightly different view of the same thing.

As most of my posted stories deal direct or indirect with the topic. I too would like to see a separation of the wife lover (cheater) and the loving wife.

I must admit that 90% of the reason I like to write these stories is the unique feedback. It is easy to strike a nerve with the reader as it will pertain to a certain type of reality to each individual. Married or not the story will some how bring the reader into the possibility of an unfaithful woman and for some that is a good thing. Fot others it is the most hanis thing going.

I take a personal perspective that most people don't like to hear, "The truth." Well, what might be their biggest fantasy or worst nightmare. A big attraction for the male is to see what he has be coverted by other men. Along with hundreds of other reasons.

Incest stories will give you reads and votes, but a great WL story will give you more feedback than you ever wanted. Both men and women reading stories about something they are currently engaged in, even if only in betraying thoughts. They have an opinion to give.

A cuckold is, quite simply, a man with an unfaithful wife. There are connotations of helplessness and humiliation attributed to the word, implications that the husband is helpless to stop her infidelity, and too cowardly to leave the wife. "Cuckold" appears in older texts as a highly insulting and pejorative term.

Cuckolds are sometimes written of as "wearing the horns of a cuckold" or just "wearing the horns". This goes back to an unsubstantiated reference to a tradition in villages of unknown European location where the community gathers to collectively humiliate a man whose wife gives birth to a child recognizably not his own. This is said to have been a parade where the hapless husband is forced to wear antlers on his head as a symbol of his wife’s infidelity. Whether this actually happened or not is irrelevant to the phrase, which survived.

The history of the word is thought to be related to the Cuckoo bird, who is known to put its eggs in another bird's nest. Some think that this points to another hallmark of the cuckold – the raising of a child that is not his own.

Or related to cucking stool - an instrument of punishment consisting of a chair in which offenders were ducked in water
ducking stool- an instrument designed and used to punish a condemned person

Today the term is making a resurgence amongst non-monogamous couples with a dominant female allowed to take on additional partners, and submissive male who is not allowed additional partners.

From the females POV the word would be
Cuckoldly- 1. Having the qualities of a cuckold; mean-spirited; sneaking.
Cuckoldize-2. To cuckold

Stories from the female POV are not commonly great as most of the story gains momentum from the feelings generated by the man each step of the way.
You can't look at someone and accurately express how they feel inside.

A Loving wife story on the other hand is generally a big hit by male readers in the Female POV.


Phildo

 

[Octavian]

Originally posted by A7inchPhildo

Incest stories will give you reads and votes, but a great WL story will give you more feedback than you ever wanted.

This is my experience too. I must have had almost 100 people sending feedback for my first LW story.

Why would a man want to share his wife with another?

Is it because he is seeking confirmation that his wife is still sexually attractive and that by dint of his association with her, so must he be?
Is it a thrill associated with a risk element? Could she meet a man who is capable of taking her to sexual heights that she has not reached with her husband?
Is it a sublimated bisexual urge, especially when the husband wants to ‘clean up’ his wife when she returns from her lover?

I don't know, but it is a good theme for stories.


Octavian


My Stories

 

[Pure]

I agree with Vincent. The theme is subordination and humiliation. I think most readers are males identifying with the cuckolded husband. Often there is first person narration, with "I" being the husband. "Here's what I walked in on, the other day. At first I was upset, then I felt turned on."

There is a homoerotic dimension, often, in that the cuckolder ofter directly humiliates the husband; some stories make this explicit, in that the husband has to give a bj to the fellow. The reader(identifying with hubb) then is undergoing a forbidden contact under the 'command of his wife.

Unless there is this homoerotic dimension, I don't see a male reader identifying with the cuckolder. Iow, it would take a male interested in eroticaly dominating another male, to snag a male reader identified with cuckholder.


Dr. Mab recognizes this predominant humiliating aspect also, in the first part of his posting.

As to the second type, sadistic husband making wife a whore, I don't see that as in 'loving wives' mainstream--I believe dr m suggests this. It's classic SM. It could be told by the sadist, or by the wife, and would have appeal to those identifying with either.

As some posters have pointed out, given our culture and gender positioning, it's not so easy to have the genders reversed. Husbands are only too eager, generally, to step out. It's hard to see how a woman might want to be "cuckolded"; though I suppose if she wants to watch hubby screw someone and like it, she's after humiliation. However, that's generally a prelude to abandonment, unlike the mainstream cuckold stories that have the hubby endure it, long term.

Again, with the homoerotic angle, there could be a story of a dominant woman subordinating another, through fucking her hubby. The reader, possibly female, is fantasizing about a Domme 'doing' this to her.

Just my two cents.

J.

 

[Vincent E]

I agree with Vincent.

Oh shit, now you're screwed.

The homoerotic aspect exists in the stories that utilize the cuckolded husband as the sexual servant of the wife's lover, but there is also a racial aspect that is treated as humiliating as well. How many of these stories involve the wife - a white woman - with her stereotypical big black stud. Again, the homoerotic aspect is brought forth in these stories as well but compounded with the racial element.

Philosphical question: Does a woman cuckold her husband if they are swingers and accept that they will have sex with other people? Is cuckolding a term exclusive to infidelity, or is it appropriate for consensual extramarital sex?

 

[Pure]

Philosophical question: Does a woman cuckold her husband if they are swingers and accept that they will have sex with other people? Is cuckolding a term exclusive to infidelity, or is it appropriate for consensual extramarital sex?

I don't think in the meaningful sense cuckolding is said to occur when everyone believes it's fine and dandy, and all marriages are open, with no vows to the contrary. The post-moral Sandmutopia.
There everyone consents to everyone fucking everyone. No one gets less than his or her 'due' in the area of exclusivity.

OTOH, the mainstream of cuckolding stories clearly involve consent on the husband's part (or inability to say, 'don't do it' or, 'i'm getting a divorce.'). That makes him, not the classic fool mentioned by damp, but the humiliated one; i.e., he has a fascination with, and is sometimes even a moving force behind, his own discomfort and undoing.

Yet his consent is not healthy or robust; it's a sign of his shameful obsession.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Just a for-what-it's-worth addition.

The Interracial Love category is dominated by LW type stories of humiliated husbands. Almost all those husbands are white.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Depending on the story I also like to read from the point of view of the Lover of the wife. His interpretation of husband and wife while this all unfolds.

Thought I would throw that out incase any lurkeers wanted an idea.

 

[pop_54]

Hmm

Cuckholding hey, sounds fun to me Must pop next door in a minute.

As a few have said, another subject matter that makes a mockery of the 'Loving Wives' cat.

There is fuck all loving about a 'cuckhold' wife, she is basically a cheating slut, and in the true sense of the word, or old world meaning of the word, poor hubby knows bugger all about most of her lovers, he doesn't sit and watch them with tears in his eyes.

A true 'cuckhold' story should not even include the husband other than as the poor bastard thinking his wife is having a drink with her mates, while all the time she's enjoying another man's dick inside her behind his back, or more likely behind the Dog and Duck pub.

I've written one true cuckhold, 'Naughty Marlene' in which a lady thinks she's secretly getting it behind hubby's back, she admits to cheating on him. I chuckled when it made 'Loving Wives', idiot category.

pops angle.

 

[Guest]

Re: Hmm

pops angle.

Your angles always make the most sense to me, Popsie. I must start saving them.

Perdita ,