Cuck angst

[bareman]

This is a new situation for me and I am trying to find my balance. I am in a long distance non-committed relationship. She is a very desirable woman with a strong sex drive, and for the past few days has been on a vacation with a former lover. I have gotten occasional g-rated texts from her, but it is a far cry from the daily contact we had before the vacation started.
I'm finding that I have flashes of jealousy and possessiveness but there is also an underlying arousal and curiosity about what they are doing together. I'm constantly envisioning them together in bed and wondering if I should have made an objection to her going away with him. I guess this is just my own first hand experience with being a cuck, at least knowingly. I have been cheated on in the past but never was aware of it until afterwards.
I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. Anybody else have similar feelings under these kind of circumstances?

 

[NickCarraway12]

You knew that she was going on vacation with him. The sex was implied.

Yes, they're having sex, and probably lots of it. I don't mean to be disrespectful.

Do you feel that you wish that you wouldn't have been ok with her going on vacation with him? Are you afraid that she'll dump you and get back with him or do you think she'd be good with the arrangement that you have now?

 

[ReadyOne]

How much do you really want to know about what she's doing?

Would you feel better or worse if she sent you updates a couple of times a day, and threw in some details about her sexual encounters? Or do you just really want assurance she loves you and will come back?

If you can figure out what you want, ask for it.

Could you ask her to call you when she can talk freely for a while, and ask for/get what you need?

 

[bareman]

I have a mix of emotions about the whole thing. Yes, I assume they are having sex, probably lots of it. I really don't have too much worry about her dumping me to be with him, as we talked explicitly about it, and she assured me she wasn't interested in getting back together with him on a regular basis. I suppose that could change, but it's not a huge concern right now. Really, I just want to be able to talk to her now. I think that's the hardest part at the moment.
I am really looking forward to going to see her again in a couple of weeks. I want to taste her sweet pussy again, even after he has been there.

 

[RipRespon]

My wife took many sex vacations and it was always gut wrenching especially when the communication was minimal. I would jerk off constantly imagining all the things they were doing together, my jealousy and anxiety would feed my erection. It was so hot when she'd finally return and share all the details, sometimes we'd even play out what they did.

 

[cuckoldbill]

I understand your angst as most cucks will. But in your opening message you stated three things which are significant.
It is a longdistance relationship. It's non-committed . She has a strong sex drive. To me this indicates that she is free to satisfy her sex drive without feeling guilty. You need to accept that,until you and she agree to commit to each other.
Meanwhile enjoy that you have an attractive sexy lady who will share her charms with you and others. If you can't do this I suggest you find somebody closer to home who will be faithful to you. I think you will have much more fun if you go with your current lady and hope that she enjoys her sex filled holiday and next time you meet up she tells you all about it.

 

[Justfantasies]

This is a new situation for me and I am trying to find my balance. I am in a long distance non-committed relationship. She is a very desirable woman with a strong sex drive, and for the past few days has been on a vacation with a former lover. I have gotten occasional g-rated texts from her, but it is a far cry from the daily contact we had before the vacation started.
I'm finding that I have flashes of jealousy and possessiveness but there is also an underlying arousal and curiosity about what they are doing together. I'm constantly envisioning them together in bed and wondering if I should have made an objection to her going away with him. I guess this is just my own first hand experience with being a cuck, at least knowingly. I have been cheated on in the past but never was aware of it until afterwards.
I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. Anybody else have similar feelings under these kind of circumstances?

Do you know for certain they are fucking?

I had a similar circumstances back in my 20s when my gf went on vacation with another girl, but seemed very keen not to invite me too. I figured there was another guy somewhere in the picture. However, it was several months before I found out that the two of them had met up with several guys on the trip and slept around.

 

[policywank]

If I understand you correctly the two of you are not exclusive and she did not suggest that this trip was platonic. So chances are that this former lover is in fact a current lover. They probably aren’t acting according to your fantasy but there is a fairly good chance that she is fucking him.

In many ways the essence of being a “good” cuckold is putting emphasis on your partners pleasure as much as it is indulging your own. That can be difficult to do at times so this is a good opportunity to see how you really feel about it before you are in a committed relationship.

Personally I don’t think you should feel as though you should have objected. If she didn’t want to go away with him she would not have done so. So if she did want to go you objecting would just have raised the prospect of her feeling guilty for going or choosing not to go for your sake.....both are likely to lead to less than ideal emotions towards you and neither would have changed the fact that she wanted to go.

You can try to stop her from fucking him but you can’t stop her from wanting to fuck him. Better to be honest from the outset.

 

[Justfantasies]

I

You can try to stop her from fucking him but you can’t stop her from wanting to fuck him. Better to be honest from the outset.

You can try, but unlikely you will be successful. Trying and crying may be a big turn off for her.

 

[bareman]

If I understand you correctly the two of you are not exclusive and she did not suggest that this trip was platonic. So chances are that this former lover is in fact a current lover. They probably aren’t acting according to your fantasy but there is a fairly good chance that she is fucking him.

In many ways the essence of being a “good” cuckold is putting emphasis on your partners pleasure as much as it is indulging your own. That can be difficult to do at times so this is a good opportunity to see how you really feel about it before you are in a committed relationship.

Personally I don’t think you should feel as though you should have objected. If she didn’t want to go away with him she would not have done so. So if she did want to go you objecting would just have raised the prospect of her feeling guilty for going or choosing not to go for your sake.....both are likely to lead to less than ideal emotions towards you and neither would have changed the fact that she wanted to go.

You can try to stop her from fucking him but you can’t stop her from wanting to fuck him. Better to be honest from the outset.

I appreciate the input. I have had hotwife/cuckold fantasies for years, but this was my first time actually experiencing it. All I was intending to do here was express the conflicting emotions I was feeling. Truly, the hardest part of all this has been the lack of communication. He is leaving today, so I should hear from her tonight.

As far as objecting to it, as long as the relationship between us is non-committed, I really don't have a leg to stand on and it would be unfair of me to ask her to not see someone else if that's what she desires.

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[policywank]

I appreciate the input. I have had hotwife/cuckold fantasies for years, but this was my first time actually experiencing it. All I was intending to do here was express the conflicting emotions I was feeling. Truly, the hardest part of all this has been the lack of communication. He is leaving today, so I should hear from her tonight.

As far as objecting to it, as long as the relationship between us is non-committed, I really don't have a leg to stand on and it would be unfair of me to ask her to not see someone else if that's what she desires.

Thanks for letting me vent.

No problem. Venting and discussing helps and you don’t want to do it with her or you would be complicating things. It is natural to have the conflicting emotions. Most of us are taught to be jealous of a lover’s affections and when we struggle with that the lack of communication leads you to contemplate that which you fear most. You want to hear from her hoping that what you fear isn’t happening or that she is thinking of you or you are somehow part of it but that isn’t true. Truth is that she is probably fucking him and enjoying it and you aren’t part of it.

But that doesn’t mean you are losing her. The premise that sexual relations are intrinsically exclusive just isn’t true so the underlying assumption that what he gets from her takes away from you is not automatically true. At this moment you are being a patient man in a non-exclusive relationship and so is he. If exclusivity is what you all want there is no reason to suppose that he has the upper hand. If exclusivity is not what she wants then she knows that she has to avoid jealous men and you need to get used to the idea of her other lovers.

And either way it helps at this stage for you to think most about her pleasure. For your own sanity stop hoping she isn’t fucking him. Assume she is and it is her prerogative to do so and you should want her pleasure. That mindset will serve you well no matter what.

 

[Tell_ME_67]

Please Update

Any updates Bareman? I think we're all curious to know if your suspicions were accurate.

 

[Justfantasies]

Any updates Bareman? I think we're all curious to know if your suspicions were accurate.

As PolicyWank pointed out he should assume that she is having sex with this guy -- and one reason for assuming this is because it is virtually certain she his. It's up to him to look at it in a positive way

 

[bareman]

Since you asked...

He left on schedule and I have been in contact with her. Going to visit her this weekend, as a matter of fact!
When we talked, she told me something weird had happened...that she hadn't had any desire to have sex with him. She said he didn't push it, but it seemed to her that the attraction/relationship between then had run its course.
I was very honest with her about my thoughts on the subject. Basically that the hardest part for me was not hearing from her, but that I kept envisioning them having sex, and while I was a bit jealous it was also very erotic for me too. So now we know where we stand, and we have agreed in the past that we both think monogamy is unrealistic, so time will tell where it goes from here.
Thank you to all who have had input on this thread. It is very much appreciated.

 

[Justfantasies]

Bump ....