cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
- Posts
- 8,786
I'm posting this to the GB (where i'll bump as necessary to enable the morning, afternoon, evening, and night crowds to see it) and to the BDSM thread on the How To... board.
cym
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was hurt, shocked, a little angry, and a lot saddened yesterday when I was told by a good Lit friend that there were those at Lit who wonder if I’m trustworthy (with, for example, the rt “secrets” I’ve learned about some of you in the course of becoming friends off the Boards) because my Master, Creidhne, has made a (so far very shallow) appearance here.
I was astonished to be told, in the name of friendship (and I thank this Lit friend for his being willing to be open to me about this), that there’s been whispered talk and even PM’s about whether or not I could be trusted to be the same person now, with him here, as I’ve been since I got to this place.
It’s been wondered, for example (as it was told to me), what I would do if my Master, Creidhne, ordered me to tell him all your secrets, all the rt stuff I know about you. What would I do, it has been wondered (apparently) if I was ordered to tell such rt info to your bosses, to interfere with your personal relationships with such rt info.
I hurt, shocked, angry, and sad when i learned that people, even a few people, were wondering such things about me.
I discussed this with Creidhne, of course, last night.
Creidhne feels rightfully baffled, a little angry, and a lot unwilling to be personally open at Lit in the face of such suspicion. We thought it best for me to answer such "questions" as openly as possible, to reassure those who need reassurance, to try to forestall any more concern about this.
This morning there was this in my PM box regarding my admission to a second Lit friend (not the first one who came to me with the "untrustworthy" feelings above) that i was feeling upset about the above:
"For those that listen to your posts you've created a nice question mark in their head and they're waiting for someone to fill it. Lit is a small community and what do small communities do when they hear there's a stranger coming to town?
They gossip.
Good gossip, bad gossip, silly gossip, boring gossip.
They whisper until they meet him.
If they won't have a chance to meet him, they have to whisper without meeting him."
I thank this person for their levelheaded explanation of the issue. This post, then, is my reassurance to you, should you need it.
Creidhne will post when he wishes and on whatever topics he wishes to address. I wouldn't presume to tell him where to post or on what. Nor will i parade him around like a puppet on strings to satisfy the curiosity of any on-lookers. I wouldn't even ask it of him. Even if he would allow such a public show (and how could he now, with this simmering out in the open?), i would be exceedingly uncomfortable participating in such a thing.
That said...
I am who I am.
I am who I am regardless of whether you’re my friend, my writing partner, my sometimes playmate on the BB’s, or someone who really doesn’t like me at all.
I am who I am with my Master, too, and he chose me (as I chose him) partly because I am who I am.
There are actions that fall outside the boundaries of my personal integrity, outside his. You might be surprised at how straitlaced, how moral, how law-abiding and line toeing we both are, really, outside of what we do sexually with each other.
Here and in my everyday life, deliberately causing someone else trouble, pain, or hurt is outside the lines of what I do.
I don’t flame.
I try not to act like an uncaring bitch.
I don’t put other people down, not even to be funny.
I don’t talk trash to/about other people.
Neither does Creidhne. He’s just not that kind of man, that kind of person, that kind of Master. Why you think he would even be interested in the details of your personal life is puzzlement to both of us.
Secondly, I did not stop being a person when I took Creidhne’s collar.
I did not stop being that same person when he removed it and we were apart for some months, the result of a huge misunderstanding that sowed hurt and pain between us. It was during that hard, apart time that I found and slipped into the hallowed halls of the Lit BB’s.
It was during that time away from him, that time when I felt so hollow, so fragile, as if I were only a shell of my real self, that you came to know me, and I did not stop being a person while you were getting to know me.
I did not stop being a person when he returned back into my life, both of realizing what had gone wrong and that we couldn’t be without the other.
I did not stop being myself when he replaced the collar, when i accepted it again.
I’m the same person now that I was through all of that. So is he. So are you.
He values me, just as all Dom/mes values their collared subs because I am who I am. He doesn’t want someone who will turn on her friends, someone who lies down under his feet as he walks across the room, someone who is not me.
A collared bond between Dom/me and sub is a sacred thing. It’s importance and solemnity is much like that contained within a marriage. A collared bond can be stronger than a marriage in some very important ways.
Still, I am who I am.
Do you really think I would have chosen a Master to whom I was expected to give up my mind, my thoughts, and my “self”?
Do you think I am such a weak person that I would hurt my friends in the name of mindless obedience?
I am who I am.
My relationship with him makes me a better person.
He brings out in me aspects of myself that sparkle and glow with life because he values them.
Yes, he is my Master.
Yes, he holds my submission.
Yes, I obey him.
But no, he would not ask me to do a thing that would hurt you.
No, he would not request of me a thing that would violate my morality or my integrity.
No, he does not care about your personal secrets.
I am more verbal than him and I regularly beat him (and everyone in my life) at Scrabble. Does he then beat me for beating him? No. Why not? Cuz I am who I am. I have a big damn vocabulary and I’m not afraid to use it.
He is way more creative than i am and writes songs. He writes the music for all the instruments, the lyrics, and plays the lead guitar in them, too. Do i get put out because he can do something i cannot? No, i don't. He has abilities that i do not.
Together, he and i are better than when we're not together.
I am who i am.
You know something about me.
He is who is he is, too.
A good man.
Honest.
Funny.
Kind.
Good-hearted.
Intelligent.
You might get to know him a little (if he even comes back here; I’m not at all sure he wants to since it’s been made clear to him that some have already decided that he's a suspicious and untrustworthy kind of man ) before you decide that he’ll force your secrets from me and then use them to hurt you.
A good D/s relationship - and mine is that - is relationship before it's D/s. Please remember that.
cym
cym
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was hurt, shocked, a little angry, and a lot saddened yesterday when I was told by a good Lit friend that there were those at Lit who wonder if I’m trustworthy (with, for example, the rt “secrets” I’ve learned about some of you in the course of becoming friends off the Boards) because my Master, Creidhne, has made a (so far very shallow) appearance here.
I was astonished to be told, in the name of friendship (and I thank this Lit friend for his being willing to be open to me about this), that there’s been whispered talk and even PM’s about whether or not I could be trusted to be the same person now, with him here, as I’ve been since I got to this place.
It’s been wondered, for example (as it was told to me), what I would do if my Master, Creidhne, ordered me to tell him all your secrets, all the rt stuff I know about you. What would I do, it has been wondered (apparently) if I was ordered to tell such rt info to your bosses, to interfere with your personal relationships with such rt info.
I hurt, shocked, angry, and sad when i learned that people, even a few people, were wondering such things about me.
I discussed this with Creidhne, of course, last night.
Creidhne feels rightfully baffled, a little angry, and a lot unwilling to be personally open at Lit in the face of such suspicion. We thought it best for me to answer such "questions" as openly as possible, to reassure those who need reassurance, to try to forestall any more concern about this.
This morning there was this in my PM box regarding my admission to a second Lit friend (not the first one who came to me with the "untrustworthy" feelings above) that i was feeling upset about the above:
"For those that listen to your posts you've created a nice question mark in their head and they're waiting for someone to fill it. Lit is a small community and what do small communities do when they hear there's a stranger coming to town?
They gossip.
Good gossip, bad gossip, silly gossip, boring gossip.
They whisper until they meet him.
If they won't have a chance to meet him, they have to whisper without meeting him."
I thank this person for their levelheaded explanation of the issue. This post, then, is my reassurance to you, should you need it.
Creidhne will post when he wishes and on whatever topics he wishes to address. I wouldn't presume to tell him where to post or on what. Nor will i parade him around like a puppet on strings to satisfy the curiosity of any on-lookers. I wouldn't even ask it of him. Even if he would allow such a public show (and how could he now, with this simmering out in the open?), i would be exceedingly uncomfortable participating in such a thing.
That said...
I am who I am.
I am who I am regardless of whether you’re my friend, my writing partner, my sometimes playmate on the BB’s, or someone who really doesn’t like me at all.
I am who I am with my Master, too, and he chose me (as I chose him) partly because I am who I am.
There are actions that fall outside the boundaries of my personal integrity, outside his. You might be surprised at how straitlaced, how moral, how law-abiding and line toeing we both are, really, outside of what we do sexually with each other.
Here and in my everyday life, deliberately causing someone else trouble, pain, or hurt is outside the lines of what I do.
I don’t flame.
I try not to act like an uncaring bitch.
I don’t put other people down, not even to be funny.
I don’t talk trash to/about other people.
Neither does Creidhne. He’s just not that kind of man, that kind of person, that kind of Master. Why you think he would even be interested in the details of your personal life is puzzlement to both of us.
Secondly, I did not stop being a person when I took Creidhne’s collar.
I did not stop being that same person when he removed it and we were apart for some months, the result of a huge misunderstanding that sowed hurt and pain between us. It was during that hard, apart time that I found and slipped into the hallowed halls of the Lit BB’s.
It was during that time away from him, that time when I felt so hollow, so fragile, as if I were only a shell of my real self, that you came to know me, and I did not stop being a person while you were getting to know me.
I did not stop being a person when he returned back into my life, both of realizing what had gone wrong and that we couldn’t be without the other.
I did not stop being myself when he replaced the collar, when i accepted it again.
I’m the same person now that I was through all of that. So is he. So are you.
He values me, just as all Dom/mes values their collared subs because I am who I am. He doesn’t want someone who will turn on her friends, someone who lies down under his feet as he walks across the room, someone who is not me.
A collared bond between Dom/me and sub is a sacred thing. It’s importance and solemnity is much like that contained within a marriage. A collared bond can be stronger than a marriage in some very important ways.
Still, I am who I am.
Do you really think I would have chosen a Master to whom I was expected to give up my mind, my thoughts, and my “self”?
Do you think I am such a weak person that I would hurt my friends in the name of mindless obedience?
I am who I am.
My relationship with him makes me a better person.
He brings out in me aspects of myself that sparkle and glow with life because he values them.
Yes, he is my Master.
Yes, he holds my submission.
Yes, I obey him.
But no, he would not ask me to do a thing that would hurt you.
No, he would not request of me a thing that would violate my morality or my integrity.
No, he does not care about your personal secrets.
I am more verbal than him and I regularly beat him (and everyone in my life) at Scrabble. Does he then beat me for beating him? No. Why not? Cuz I am who I am. I have a big damn vocabulary and I’m not afraid to use it.
He is way more creative than i am and writes songs. He writes the music for all the instruments, the lyrics, and plays the lead guitar in them, too. Do i get put out because he can do something i cannot? No, i don't. He has abilities that i do not.
Together, he and i are better than when we're not together.
I am who i am.
You know something about me.
He is who is he is, too.
A good man.
Honest.
Funny.
Kind.
Good-hearted.
Intelligent.
You might get to know him a little (if he even comes back here; I’m not at all sure he wants to since it’s been made clear to him that some have already decided that he's a suspicious and untrustworthy kind of man ) before you decide that he’ll force your secrets from me and then use them to hurt you.
A good D/s relationship - and mine is that - is relationship before it's D/s. Please remember that.
cym
