Creative Outings

[temp256]

The time is fast approaching when I must tell my family I want to be a girl. Fortunately I know everyone will be sympathetic, and I can count on their support. I have nothing to fear other than sheer akwardness.

Akwardness is what I want to avoid. I've heard stories of people writing letters to express themselves, but would create the deep dramatic heartfelt emotional response I seek to prevent. Regardless of how difficult or emotional my transition will be, I want everyone to take it in stride. I find the other way rather annoying and depressive.

So, I ask of you, what fun an creative ways can you think of for coming out? I don't have access to clothing without my parents, so a sudden change in dress is out.

My ideal way would be to invite them to a showing of the musical I'm writing, but since a few lines of lyrics hardly constitutes a musical, this option won't be available for years.

Ideas? It's a once in a lifetime experience (for family at least), and I want to make it memorable.

 

[playwithlezli]

Singing Out

Jeez, that's a tough one, as you sound musical, maybe you could open the discussion by singing "I'm going to wash that man right out of my hair".

best of luck

 

[temp256]

Actually I can't sing at all. (Although my sister agreed to help me with voice lessons. Maybe I will try to steer it towards a feminine tone.) But I will have to steal that idea for my (I should stop being lazy and work on it) musical.

 

[blondi84]

You say that you want to avoid a big emotional response, even though it will be supportive. I have to say, good luck. I just don't think this is something that people will just be "Oh, ok. Pass the salt, please." about. If you don't feel like you can handle thier response in person, maybe have a friend videotape you explaining why you feel the way you do. Be sure to add that you hope they will be supportive, but you just wanted to give them some time to think things over before you talked face to face. I wish you the best!

 

[blondi84]

Another thought, maybe you could just sit down with your parents and tell them. Don't be dramatic about it or anything, just say, "Hey, I have been feeling this way latley and wanted to explore it further, so from now on call me Sue." or whatever your girl name will be. That is how my boyfriend (now husband) and I told our families that we were going to have a baby. We just sort of let the gossip chain go after that. Good luck and let us know how it goes! Oh, one more thing. What do you mean that you have to tell them. It sounded like you had a deadline of some sort.

 

[temp256]

Revealing the secret in my absense won't help; I'll still have to face an akward moment the next time I see them. Besides, I do so want to see their expressions. Maybe I'll take a picture right after I tell them.

I do have a deadline of sorts. It will take me a month to get a therapy appointment, and another three months before I can start hormones. I don't think I can wait that long. If I come out now, I can start my real life test before I start college. I already look like a girl, so with just a bit of extra work I can go stealth even before hormones.

The only other thing holding me back is a tiny bit of doubt. If for some reason I decide not to go through with the transition, I will never hear the end of it. And yet if I don't come out, I won't be able to do the real life test to know for sure. Catch 22. Quite maddening.

Oh, and I'm considering the name Jetta.

 

[Tymeless]

as someone dealing with the same thing i'm starting therapy in january and hormones in 3-6 months after that myself i'll tell you trying to figure out how to tell them will drive you mad. Just wait and talk to your therapist and see what they suggest doing and there is no way to avoid the awkwardness its not just something family can be like hey so your a girl now to them your gonna be you but its like they are dealing with a new person which u are and there is gonna be a learning curve. Saying that most of my friends have taken it in stride some haven't u just gotta deal with it and let them know your still you just with some new added demensions.

 

[kalika]

I don't know if this will help you but I had the same feelings when I decided to come out to my family. I knew that most of thm would be supportive but I didn't want to make a big scene out of it. Then one X-mas Eve I just blurted it out before the extended family showed up. To my surprize the majority reaction I got was, OK so whats the big deal. I never did anything to give hints about my sexual preference, and everyone later said that they had never even thought I would ever say something like that. I guess what I'm trying to say is just copme out with it. If you know your family will be supportive, it's the best thing you can do. Both for them and yourself. Aside from them poking fun of you, wouldn't it be better to have you family helping you when you need it??

 

[temp256]

Sexuality is easier for others to accept, as it really doesn't change anything. And it's easier for one's self to accept, as it can be changed on a whim.

I need to change. I know I need to tell them, and I need to do it before school starts in a few weeks, but I am terrified. I can't bring myself to talk.

I try to drop as many hints as I can, ("Why would I want to wear mens fashions?") repeatedly asked for beauty advice, ("I want to make my eybrows thinner, and more arched") mentioned I want to change my name, but all of it seems to have gone unnoticed.

My mother has at least noticed my melancholy, but I don't know what to say when she asks what's wrong. Thus it gets passed off as either mild ilness or boredom.

Coming out aside, this has been wreaking havoc on myself emotionally. I go back and forth between desperately wishing I could look half as beautiful as any women I see, and wondering why the hell I am commiting myself to such a difficult future.

In dim lighting I can see myself gorgeous, but I have not one picture of me which I don't hate with a passion. I fear I will never pass for a woman, even though I already have without trying, then become hopeful when I remember what a dramatic improvement hormones make.

Sometimes I get giddy thinking of all the lovely dresses I will make, and other times I get depressed walking through women's clothing sections knowing almost nothing will fit me (skinny, but tall with huge feet). I very much need counseling, but the clinic is booked solid for at least a month.

Ack, this is so frustrating, so depressing, so confusing, and it only gets worse with each passing day. I can't tell anyone, I can't concentrate, and I can't even cry. I never though I would have to go through this. I always told myself if I were gay, coming out would be as simple as bringing a boyfriend home. How exactly do I tell people I'm a lesbian with the body of a male?

I no longer know what to do...

 

[Tymeless]

tell someone
anyone
just do it
don't worry about it
it will be hard
but they will deal with it
and you will feel better
if you need to talk
i'm here for you
stmacsall2 on yahoo
Tymeless EQ on aim

 

[interface]

I told my best friend I was bisexual while playing Halo. Just do it over some task that you normally can't have a whole lot of conversation while doing it, and just mention it just like you would talk about something minor that happened during the day.