Creative/Constructive Critism vs. Insulting

[leahsgirl84]

Hi all,

I was just wondering how you deal with feedback emails (or any other type of feedback) that begin by saying this is just Creative/Constructive Critism, but it turns more into an insulting bash. I enjoy the critism, as I learn and grow as a writer from it, but when it begins to get condensending, that is where my problem begins. Anyone else have an issue with this?

 

[oggbashan]

We all get it.

Ignore it - unless some of it is a reasonable response to your work.

 

[lovecraft68]

Personally I get a kick out of the outrageous ones, and even have printed ot a few of the really good ones.

Take from the constructive and just roll with the just plain rude and stupid.

Another word of advice. Everyone hates the trolls and the "yo suck" e-mails and have no problem ignoring them.

On the other hand you also need to learn not to take the overly effusive "You're the best ever!" e-mails too seriously either.

 

[leahsgirl84]

Another word of advice. Everyone hates the trolls and the "yo suck" e-mails and have no problem ignoring them.

On the other hand you also need to learn not to take the overly effusive "You're the best ever!" e-mails too seriously either.

I agree completely. I guess my question is more toward the issue when the reader starts not so much adding their own views in, but more of telling you how you should write it. For me, writing is a way for me to live my fantasies, and things I could never do in real life. When people tell me that my characters should feel this way and not the way I wrote it, I guess that's like saying (at least to me) that I'm not good enough for you. I write as pure fiction and I created these characters to think and feel a certain way, and I am a firm believer in the characters write their own story.

If someone takes the time to write a long email to you telling you that you should have taken the story a different way, or here's what you should write in upcoming chapters because thats how it should be (society's right vs. wrong and not for reasons of true love)...how would you respond?

 

[lovecraft68]

I agree completely. I guess my question is more toward the issue when the reader starts not so much adding their own views in, but more of telling you how you should write it. For me, writing is a way for me to live my fantasies, and things I could never do in real life. When people tell me that my characters should feel this way and not the way I wrote it, I guess that's like saying (at least to me) that I'm not good enough for you. I write as pure fiction and I created these characters to think and feel a certain way, and I am a firm believer in the characters write their own story.

If someone takes the time to write a long email to you telling you that you should have taken the story a different way, or here's what you should write in upcoming chapters because thats how it should be (society's right vs. wrong and not for reasons of true love)...how would you respond?

Well first off I always thank them for their time. You will find in your time here that most viewers don't take the 3 seconds to vote never mind e-mail you.

Next, no matter what they say, if it is a long e-mail that means your writing did effect them. They were into it enough to have an opinion/view.

In the end though your characters are your babies, to be handled your way. Usually I will take the time to explain why I won't go ion their direction and explain my stance.

I have had it happen many times. some never respond again. Some come back and stick to their guns, and there have been a few who have said "Hey I never thought of that.

Long story sort, respond in kind. f it is a thoughtful critique take the time they took to answer, if its stupid ignore them.

 

[leahsgirl84]

Well first off I always thank them for their time. You will find in your time here that most viewers don't take the 3 seconds to vote never mind e-mail you.

Next, no matter what they say, if it is a long e-mail that means your writing did effect them. They were into it enough to have an opinion/view.

In the end though your characters are your babies, to be handled your way. Usually I will take the time to explain why I won't go ion their direction and explain my stance.

I have had it happen many times. some never respond again. Some come back and stick to their guns, and there have been a few who have said "Hey I never thought of that.

Long story sort, respond in kind. f it is a thoughtful critique take the time they took to answer, if its stupid ignore them.

Thank you. I will do so.

 

[PennLady]

If someone takes the time to write a long email to you telling you that you should have taken the story a different way, or here's what you should write in upcoming chapters because thats how it should be (society's right vs. wrong and not for reasons of true love)...how would you respond?

Ignore them. You do not owe them a response, no matter how long the email is. You didn't ask them to write it. If you do respond, you might be letting yourself in for a hassle you don't need.

It's your story. If a complete stranger does not like it, well then, that's life.

 

[lovecraft68]

Ignore them. You do not owe them a response, no matter how long the email is. You didn't ask them to write it. If you do respond, you might be letting yourself in for a hassle you don't need.

It's your story. If a complete stranger does not like it, well then, that's life.

ah, but if they are reasonably worded and it seems the reader is attempting a valid point I think they should get a response.

Personally I was reading here for about a year be started posting, and I always enjoyed when an author took a couple of minutes to respond to me. Especially if they seemed passionate about their work. On the other hand I never sent nasty remarks either so I figured I would get one

Again another "up to the individual" type of thing, like feedback in general.

 

[Stella_Omega]

When someone starts telling me how the story should have gone, the my answer is: "You should write that!"

Something else to keep in mind is that the person who wrote to you does not yet have your actual email address, they sent you the mail through lit's service. But if you reply, they will.

I'm sure you have a different email account for lit than for your "real" mail, right?

 

[sr71plt]

Since constructive criticism is something specifically requested (unless it's from your boss), you can read what they have to say and decide for yourself if it's useful for you and ditch the rest. (Or not read it at all, if you wish.)

 

[PennLady]

ah, but if they are reasonably worded and it seems the reader is attempting a valid point I think they should get a response.

Definitely an individual response. To me it's a bit like a phone call. Phones are for your convenience, not the caller's. If you don't want to answer, you don't have to (although I think we're all conditioned to).

Also, leahsgirl said that she's gotten feedback telling her what her characters should be doing, as opposed to what she wrote. I'm not sure that deserves much more of a response than "thanks for your thoughts." As a writer, you don't owe any explanation of why you wrote anything a particular way, although if you want to explain it, well, that's up to you.

Personally I was reading here for about a year be started posting, and I always enjoyed when an author took a couple of minutes to respond to me. Especially if they seemed passionate about their work. On the other hand I never sent nasty remarks either so I figured I would get one

I usually write back to anyone who writes to me, and I usually thanks anyone who leaves a comment with a name. So I'm all for communicating with readers and other writers. I enjoy the exchange. It still doesn't mean anyone is required to write or respond.

I think if someone is telling you what you should be writing, then it doesn't deserve much of a response. If they want that, let them write it.

 

[lovecraft68]

Definitely an individual response. To me it's a bit like a phone call. Phones are for your convenience, not the caller's. If you don't want to answer, you don't have to (although I think we're all conditioned to).

Also, leahsgirl said that she's gotten feedback telling her what her characters should be doing, as opposed to what she wrote. I'm not sure that deserves much more of a response than "thanks for your thoughts." As a writer, you don't owe any explanation of why you wrote anything a particular way, although if you want to explain it, well, that's up to you.



I usually write back to anyone who writes to me, and I usually thanks anyone who leaves a comment with a name. So I'm all for communicating with readers and other writers. I enjoy the exchange. It still doesn't mean anyone is required to write or respond.

I think if someone is telling you what you should be writing, then it doesn't deserve much of a response. If they want that, let them write it.

I think it would be in the tone of the e-mail for me. If it's "how the fuck could you let her do that? she would never do that etc... yeah I will ignore them.

If it is more like "Based on your previous chapters, I found her behavior out of character, I would have not had her do that." then I will probably send them my reasoning. I'm not saying I will go on and on, or certainly not let them sway me, but if it's in a reasonable manner I will give a reasonable response.

 

[leahsgirl84]

When someone starts telling me how the story should have gone, the my answer is: "You should write that!"

Something else to keep in mind is that the person who wrote to you does not yet have your actual email address, they sent you the mail through lit's service. But if you reply, they will.

I'm sure you have a different email account for lit than for your "real" mail, right?

Yes, two different email accounts.

I think it would be in the tone of the e-mail for me. If it's "how the fuck could you let her do that? she would never do that etc... yeah I will ignore them.

If it is more like "Based on your previous chapters, I found her behavior out of character, I would have not had her do that." then I will probably send them my reasoning. I'm not saying I will go on and on, or certainly not let them sway me, but if it's in a reasonable manner I will give a reasonable response.

I don't feel this is a "how the fuck..." email, its more of a "I don't agree with your characters decisions because its completely wrong in society" type email. I responded twice now, but i get more emails back and the more and more that he (I'm assuming) responds, the more he's pushing his life story into his replies.

 

[lovecraft68]

Yes, two different email accounts.



I don't feel this is a "how the fuck..." email, its more of a "I don't agree with your characters decisions because its completely wrong in society" type email. I responded twice now, but i get more emails back and the more and more that he (I'm assuming) responds, the more he's pushing his life story into his replies.

Yeah well in that case you need to stop. The life story thing is a bad sign. YOu found yourself a little stalker. Just ignore him, in fact go one better and block his e-mails.