Creampie Mess Clean up?

[Jackingleon]

My girlfriend and I are mutually exclusive and no longer wearing protection. She is on the pill and we are ready for me to cum inside her for the first time with no condom. My question is what do we do with the clean up afterwards?

Any search I find is of course sexual with creampie eating and such and no real helpful info. When googled, what I find is to let it come out on its own and no douching... again it is from magazine articles and things.

Maybe just a towel under her and take a nap for a while, wash cloth, shower... any suggestions will be encouraged.

We are planning to do this on a trip away with a romantic evening... I just don't want the sexiness to be ruined by a mess being made and her crying etc. I can only imagine that would not go well for a second round....

Just looking for a little help from some experiences.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Woody Allan was once asked if sex is dirty. He thought for a moment and replied, “Only if it’s done right.”

Having a towel handy is a good idea (your doing it gets bonus points), but I’ve generally found that it’s not that big a deal, certainly nothing for a girl to cry over. Really? And you said that this will be a trip away, so a hotel, ergo clean sheets in the morning and no spots on the heirloom Persian rug. So relax, have fun and do what comes naturally (yes, pun intended).

If the worst comes comes to the worst, remember that a gentleman always sleeps in the wet spot.

 

[Jackingleon]

Woody Allan was once asked it sex is dirty. He thought for a moment and replied, “Only if it’s done right.”

Having a towel handy is a good idea (your doing it gets bonus points), but I’ve generally found that it’s not that big a deal, certainly nothing for a girl to cry over. Really? And you said that this will be a trip away, so a hotel, ergo clean sheets in the morning and no spots on the heirloom Persian rug. So relax, have fun and do what comes naturally (yes, pun intended).

If the worst comes comes to the worst, remember that a gentleman always sleeps in the wet spot.

Thank You for the response. She wouldn't really cry, just making a point if it doesn't go well.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Seriously, why wouldn’t it go well? It’s fun, it’s natural and it’s something both of you have been looking forward to.

Have a towel handy, try not to shoot into her eyes or hair (one stings and the other is a pain to clean) and go with it.

Confidence, good sir. Don’t overthink things. Boys and girls have been doing this for years.

 

[Privates1stClass]

My girlfriend and I are mutually exclusive and no longer wearing protection. She is on the pill and we are ready for me to cum inside her for the first time with no condom. My question is what do we do with the clean up afterwards?

Any search I find is of course sexual with creampie eating and such and no real helpful info. When googled, what I find is to let it come out on its own and no douching... again it is from magazine articles and things.

Maybe just a towel under her and take a nap for a while, wash cloth, shower... any suggestions will be encouraged.

We are planning to do this on a trip away with a romantic evening... I just don't want the sexiness to be ruined by a mess being made and her crying etc. I can only imagine that would not go well for a second round....

Just looking for a little help from some experiences.

I agree with TarnishedPenny 100 percent. Have her lie on a towel in a strategic spot. You might want to keep some facial tissues nearby. Just in case.

Otherwise, let nature take its course and thoroughly enjoy yourselves.

 

[RejectReality]

Bathroom break once the afterglow has faded. I've seen it recommended in numerous places after any PnV sexual encounter, actually. Said to help prevent urinary tract infections. I've seen it recommended often enough and had enough women adhere to the practice to put it in many of my stories.

The already recommended towel provides a no-drip solution for the trip from bed to bathroom.

If you're talking about a hotel, you might want to determine that she's not uncomfortable with someone from the cleaning staff having to pick up the cum-soaked hotel towel. Might be worth the forethought to pack a towel from home specifically for that purpose.

Of course, then you have to deal with that towel. Plastic bag, and hold your breath when you open it to put it in the wash. Or get a cheap Wal-Mart towel and chalk it up to acceptable losses when you toss it in the bin.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Bathroom break once the afterglow has faded. I've seen it recommended in numerous places after any PnV sexual encounter, actually. Said to help prevent urinary tract infections. I've seen it recommended often enough and had enough women adhere to the practice to put it in many of my stories.

The already recommended towel provides a no-drip solution for the trip from bed to bathroom.

if you're talking about a hotel, you might want to determine that she's not uncomfortable with someone from the cleaning staff having to pick up the cum-soaked hotel towel. Might be worth the forethought to pack a towel from home specifically for that purpose.

Of course, then you have to deal with that towel. Plastic bag, and hold your breath when you open it to put it in the wash. Or get a cheap Wal-Mart towel and chalk it up to acceptable losses when you toss it in the bin.

Nothing personal, but really? It’s just semen and vaginal secretions and those are not all that high on the Incredibly Gross Scale. Moreover, if like most modern people they’re into oral sex, both of those substances pretty well inevitably wind up smeared on each other’s faces.

Honestly, enough sterility and hospital-sanitation sex. Let’s everybody go back to my original Woody Allan quote and learn to embrace the mess.



P.S. If the OP and his GF decide to go further and have kids, then they’ll discover the true meanings of disgusting and odiferous.

 

[twister947]

Nothing personal, but really? It’s just semen and vaginal secretions and those are not all that high on the Incredibly Gross Scale. Moreover, if like most modern people they’re into oral sex, both of those substances pretty well inevitably wind up smeared on each other’s faces.

Honestly, enough sterility and hospital-sanitation sex. Let’s everybody go back to my original Woody Allan quote and learn to embrace the mess.



P.S. If the OP and his GF decide to go further and have kids, then they’ll discover the true meanings of disgusting and odiferous.

*nods*
This is a tempest in a teapot.

 

[box13]

When the glow has subsided, and while she's still resting comfortably, go and make a warm moist washcloth, and clean her...always front to back, and slowly and gently. I guess make it romantic and loving. Take as much time and repeat as needed. The ex hated it, but most others appreciated being cared for and the attention afterwards.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

When the glow has subsided, and while she's still resting comfortably, go and make a warm moist washcloth, and clean her...always front to back, and slowly and gently. I guess make it romantic and loving. Take as much time and repeat as needed. The ex hated it, but most others appreciated being cared for and the attention afterwards.

That too is romantic, showing the girl some loving care. Well done, you!

 

[amofiga]

I don't necessarily think using your tongue on her after you cum is necessary unless she hasn't cum. I think it's a gentleman's duty to do all he can to see to his partners satisfaction either before (my preference) he has his way or afterward if that's the way things go. I've never had a problem eating a pussy that I've personally cum in but would not to it with another guy's cum in it. I personally love kissing a women with her mouth filled with my cum after a blowjob or if you do clean up her pussy, give her a nice sloppy kiss afterward. If she balks at the taste of you two combined, then I'd call that rather rude. I preferred women who were not opposed to my taste or her own.

 

[ElectricBlue]

My girlfriend and I are mutually exclusive and no longer wearing protection. She is on the pill and we are ready for me to cum inside her for the first time with no condom. My question is what do we do with the clean up afterwards?

You are catastrophically over-thinking this, and asking a bunch of pornographers, perverts and fetish-meisters for advice is just silly.

A box of tissues by the bed is all you need. The way it works is this - you make a nice bit of love, you come inside her. You give her a cuddle, she rolls on her side. When she gets up for a pee, she grabs two tissues, and wipes herself after she's done. When she's out of bed, you shift to the wet spot, because that's what a gentleman does.

You're not doing open heart surgery, you're not going to come in gallons. Have you not looked at the condom? A teaspoon or so, that's all there is. All this waffle about towels and warm flannels and changing the sheets, what the fuck? You're not cleaning up after a murder, you're not dealing with toxic waste!

Besides, your girl friend has a poo every day, a pee several times a day, and once a month, handles her period. Why you think she's going to freak out with your thimble full of cum is beyond me. If it drops on her skin, just rub it in like a hand cream.

I suspect that your main concern, to be honest, is how to last more than fifteen or twenty seconds, because when that condom comes off you're going to be more sensitive; and you sound a little...ummm... inexperienced at this sex stuff.

Hopefully she has a sense of humour - but if you come too quickly, you get the cuddle while she smiles fondly at her silly boy.

Hint - do NOT use porn for Sex-Ed 101, it's clearly giving you misinformation. Also, getting "advice" from jokers here is only going to increase your anxiety... so make that ten seconds .

I don't know if this thread is the saddest thing I've seen in a while, or the sweetest.

Dude, it'll be fine, just relax.

But don't even think about anal.

 

[ericandshannon]

......

 

[Miles Long]

Silly Answer: the Shamwow

https://image.made-in-china.com/2f0j00ewKtnuzWngkP/Magic-Cloth-Shamwow-Set-of-8PCS.jpg





Serious Answer: the Liberator Fascinator waterproof blanket

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71kMQSUpxLL._SY355_.jpg

 

[Miles Long]

I've been thinking about this all day and honestly I think the Shamwow can be a serious suggestion as well.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I've been thinking about this all day and honestly I think the Shamwow can be a serious suggestion as well.

Won't it leave strange smears on the windscreen?

 

[Miles Long]

Won't it leave strange smears on the windscreen?

Define strange.

 

[amofiga]

What sort of contortionist could get the windshield stained? Then again, I heard about someone who got her foot stuck in a steering wheel. That's why the back seat was better.

 

[ElectricBlue]

What sort of contortionist could get the windshield stained? Then again, I heard about someone who got her foot stuck in a steering wheel. That's why the back seat was better.

Someone mentioned the shamwow as a clean-up cloth. Chamois is more commonly used for cleaning wind... oh, never mind .

 

[amofiga]

Thinking of my earlier comment about front seats and back seats, I started reminiscing. Back in my day, cars were huge and they had those big bench seats front and back. Front seats were ok for messing around except for the steering wheel issue. Now days, cars are all pretty small and have those huge consoles in the front. The back seat would be absolutely necessary and even then kind of cramped. What do the young'uns do for hanky panky if they don't have big cars? Hell, now days with the Patriot Act restrictions after 9/11, you have to show ID and use credit cars at legit motels.

 

[blade_rocknut]

If you don't intend to withdraw your own deposit, bring her a warm, wet washcloth to use after you've both caught your breath. It'll feel great.

 

[Conager]

I've been thinking about this all day and honestly I think the Shamwow can be a serious suggestion as well.

Wow.

Just, wow.

 

[jchuli]

Our pussies are not that complicated

Perfectly well said. Cleaning our pussy can be done many ways and should not be a big topic of discussion. Unless you are looking for tips to more sexually clean like eating her after cumming in her.

You are catastrophically over-thinking this, and asking a bunch of pornographers, perverts and fetish-meisters for advice is just silly.

A box of tissues by the bed is all you need. The way it works is this - you make a nice bit of love, you come inside her. You give her a cuddle, she rolls on her side. When she gets up for a pee, she grabs two tissues, and wipes herself after she's done. When she's out of bed, you shift to the wet spot, because that's what a gentleman does.

You're not doing open heart surgery, you're not going to come in gallons. Have you not looked at the condom? A teaspoon or so, that's all there is. All this waffle about towels and warm flannels and changing the sheets, what the fuck? You're not cleaning up after a murder, you're not dealing with toxic waste!

Besides, your girl friend has a poo every day, a pee several times a day, and once a month, handles her period. Why you think she's going to freak out with your thimble full of cum is beyond me. If it drops on her skin, just rub it in like a hand cream.

I suspect that your main concern, to be honest, is how to last more than fifteen or twenty seconds, because when that condom comes off you're going to be more sensitive; and you sound a little...ummm... inexperienced at this sex stuff.

Hopefully she has a sense of humour - but if you come too quickly, you get the cuddle while she smiles fondly at her silly boy.

Hint - do NOT use porn for Sex-Ed 101, it's clearly giving you misinformation. Also, getting "advice" from jokers here is only going to increase your anxiety... so make that ten seconds .

I don't know if this thread is the saddest thing I've seen in a while, or the sweetest.

Dude, it'll be fine, just relax.

But don't even think about anal.

 

[Jada59]

I've been thinking about this all day and honestly I think the Shamwow can be a serious suggestion as well.

I am picturing Vince Offer by the bed, narrating as they go along. Maybe he can work the Slap Chop into there too!

 

[Jada59]

What sort of contortionist could get the windshield stained? Then again, I heard about someone who got her foot stuck in a steering wheel. That's why the back seat was better.

I once got stuck upside down in the driver's seat. I was picking my daughter up from school. Did that one all on my own. She was mortified. I was laughing my head off.