Crazy-Ass Night O_o

[Mac98]

I haven't been on Earth for very long, now... in fact, only 2 decades, but I have to say that wednesday (this week) night was by far the most ridiculously bizarre night I've ever had in my life!!!

The whole strangeness and awkward ambiance of it all has left me with some few questions I thought maybe some of you here could help me out with.

I won't go into too many details, for the sake of keeping this as short as possible...


I invited my friend over to my cottage wednesday night and he got there around 1:30 with two female friends. In all, we were 5. Me, my friend, my best friend and 2 girls. One of the girls (let's call her Kate), my best friend Dom has a crush on and she seemed to have taken a liking to him to. It wasn't full blown love, but definately some chemistry.

The night started pretty slowly, a bit of drinking here and there (not me, I can't drink... digestive problems, so I smoked a joint...), lots of reminiscing. Kate, Dom and I were all good friends back in junior high. Kate kinda' left the picture when she moved to the city. She just moved back a few weeks ago. Anyways, once they're drunk and I'm high, everyone moves indoors and into the living room where the magic really happens (actually, nothing really hot happens, sorry to get your hopes up like that...).

I'm really stoned, so I obviously bee-line to the sofa. So there we are, all in the living room making jokes and kidding around when Kate, Dom's interest, comes and sits behind me (picture it: She's sitting on the back rest of the sofa, her legs each side of my head) and starts playing in my hair. Now, for those of you who've been high before... getting your head massaged by an extremely beautiful girl is the closest thing to achieving Nirvana... really! Anyways, so there I am, getting my head brutally and amazingly caressed, looking at my best friend. I'm surprised to see he looks absolutely fine with all this. At one point, she tightens her legs together, so I use her groin as a pillow... but before I could dose off, she slides down behind me, lies me down and spoons me, giving me kisses at the back of my neck and stuff. I'm blazed out of my mind and battling with all my might the innevitable hardon when she starts reaching under my shirt and rubbing my belly.

I can't help, at this point, to feel she's probably drunk out of her mind (which she was!) and just looking for a quick lay. But the question was: Why me? Between Dom and I, he's usually the guy who ends up with the hot girl. Not that I'm freakishly rotten to look at, I'm not... but dom's a good-looking guy with a history of womanizing and getting the hot girl. So why did she choose me when EVERYONE expected her to end up sleeping with him that night?

Alright, so I've gone through the possibilities. She's either playing me, which is quite possible. Maybe she's trying to get my friend jelous (which would be totally weird, since there's no motive) or I can just pass it off as "way too fucken drunk". I've seen her once since junior high and there she is pretty much giving me blue balls (thank God I was high!). She ended up getting up later and sleeping in her bed. I ended up sleeping on the floor. Long story.

Anyways, that's not half the weird shit that went on that night, but I was just hoping you all could enlighten me on what just happened and why. I haven't been around long enough to understand what this means.

I would also like to point out... Nothing happened that night. I was stoned, but I wouldn't have done that to my friend... although he just did say to me he wouldn't have had a problem with it whatsoever. But anyways!

Finally, she ended up giving me her number and I mine because I promised her a one-hour free guitar lesson for playing in my hair all night. She left early the next morning (actually, only 3 hours after we all went to sleep). So what just happened to me? Should I be weary of this or tag along for the ride?

Any and all advice would be appreciatd. Thank you.

Mac

 

[satindesire]

You need to talk to her SOBER, both of you. I can't tell you, actually NOBODY can tell you what her motives were, because she was drunk. When a person is under chemical stimulation, their brain goes out the window.

She could have just been messing with you, she could have been trying to make Dom jealous, she could have been wanting a 'quick drunk fuck', or she might have been really genuinely interested in you. At a point like that, when a person is drunk, it's impossible to untangle the threads of motives and inebriation.

The next opportunity you get, call her. Or ask her over. And talk to her seriously, make sure both of you are 100% sober, and ask her what's up. That's the ONLY way you'll get a 100% straight answer.

 

[easyluckyfree]

i'd say she's into you. since you mentioned that she left 3 hours after falling asleep, she couldn't have been too drunk. i know that if i was drunk and then fell asleep, i would sleep at least 6 hours (most likely 10 though ) also, i've never been so drunk that i hooked up with someone and hugely regretted it the next day. usually i just feel brave enough to put the moves on whoever i've had my eye on. i'm sure your friend knows what she was doing. she was trying to express herself in a somewhat reserved way. i say, call her and ask her to hang out. if things move in a similar direction, you'll know she's into you on some level. good luck!

 

[Mac98]

You need to talk to her SOBER, both of you. I can't tell you, actually NOBODY can tell you what her motives were, because she was drunk. When a person is under chemical stimulation, their brain goes out the window.

She could have just been messing with you, she could have been trying to make Dom jealous, she could have been wanting a 'quick drunk fuck', or she might have been really genuinely interested in you. At a point like that, when a person is drunk, it's impossible to untangle the threads of motives and inebriation.

The next opportunity you get, call her. Or ask her over. And talk to her seriously, make sure both of you are 100% sober, and ask her what's up. That's the ONLY way you'll get a 100% straight answer.

I thought about doing this tomorrow (she's supposed to come over and I'm supposed to show her how to play guitar), but I don't want to insult her either. If her motives WERE to just mess with me, I doubt she'd actually admit it.

i'd say she's into you. since you mentioned that she left 3 hours after falling asleep, she couldn't have been too drunk. i know that if i was drunk and then fell asleep, i would sleep at least 6 hours (most likely 10 though ) also, i've never been so drunk that i hooked up with someone and hugely regretted it the next day. usually i just feel brave enough to put the moves on whoever i've had my eye on. i'm sure your friend knows what she was doing. she was trying to express herself in a somewhat reserved way. i say, call her and ask her to hang out. if things move in a similar direction, you'll know she's into you on some level. good luck!

Neither have I, but this still doesn't answer why she'd go to me before Dom? That's the biggest mind block right there... Heck, I've even contemplated the fact that maybe she was looking for a 3-way (which would've earned her a walk back to her car to get the fuck out of my life!). Her best friend apparently told my other friend that she's apparently SUPER easy... like RIDICULOUSLY easy. Maybe. It would explain a lot, although a lot of things her friend said that night were downright lies. It was abusive how much she fabulated!

Anyways, even if she is easy... I don't really care, as long as I get another head massage again ... but see, even THAT doesn't answer "why me?". She obviously had something going with my best friend... so why would she abandon that project and come on to me, who she's seen once in 7 years... odd!

Oh yeah, and the reason she left early was cuz she had no choice. Her ride home had to leave early. And (this may be going into too much detail), she takes meds (not for psychological reasons, I assure you), so she technically didn't drink to much (one jack and coke) but she was hammered! She slurred every second word and her eyes were... drunk lol. She wasn't shit-faced the next day, but she was nowhere near sober.

 

[satindesire]

I thought about doing this tomorrow (she's supposed to come over and I'm supposed to show her how to play guitar), but I don't want to insult her either. If her motives WERE to just mess with me, I doubt she'd actually admit it.

You won't insult her if her motives behind seducing you were 'pure' (as in, not to make Dom jealous or just get a quick fuck). If she was really interested in starting something with you, as a couple, then she won't have anything to get defensive about.

Watch out for this. If she seems defensive, then you KNOW that she wasn't being 'real' with you, that you were a convenient target, rather than someone she was really into. Egh, I hate to be that blunt because I'm so EQ and this sounds harsh to me, but you're a very IQ person so I know you'll totally get the message without being offended.

If she does get defensive, push the matter. Get her to come clean with you. You aren't a piece of meat, you're a HUMAN BEING and you deserve to be treated better than that. Make sure she understands this...girls have always complained about being 'used', she'll feel understandably guilty for doing this to you, and she won't do it again to anyone else in the future. You might even get an apology out of her, although I wouldn't count on it. Girls are notoriously difficult to get to apologize when they're upset.

 

[Mac98]

You won't insult her if her motives behind seducing you were 'pure' (as in, not to make Dom jealous or just get a quick fuck). If she was really interested in starting something with you, as a couple, then she won't have anything to get defensive about.

Watch out for this. If she seems defensive, then you KNOW that she wasn't being 'real' with you, that you were a convenient target, rather than someone she was really into. Egh, I hate to be that blunt because I'm so EQ and this sounds harsh to me, but you're a very IQ person so I know you'll totally get the message without being offended.

If she does get defensive, push the matter. Get her to come clean with you. You aren't a piece of meat, you're a HUMAN BEING and you deserve to be treated better than that. Make sure she understands this...girls have always complained about being 'used', she'll feel understandably guilty for doing this to you, and she won't do it again to anyone else in the future. You might even get an apology out of her, although I wouldn't count on it. Girls are notoriously difficult to get to apologize when they're upset.

See, I already get the feeling she's playing me. I don't understand why she'd be so drawn to me in a matter of minutes... If she's not playing me then she sure as hell doesn't fuck around when she's interested in someone.

There's a big festival in town tonight and she'll be there. I doubt I'll get much alone time with her, but if I do, I'll talk to her about it. Heck, I don't mind asking her "Why me?" in front of everyone. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but I'm not THAT attached to her that it would affect me so much.

 

[Mac98]

I went out with her and a few friends on Saturday. There was a festival in town. I can't say she was all over me all night. In fact, during the fireworks, I didn't even know she was there (I was pretty high...), though I can't say she was all over my best friend either. However, when the festivities were over, we went to my friend Dom's house where everyone decided to go clubbing. I despise clubs. I hate house music and more so being surrounded by a bunch of roid raging douchebags! But she didn't want to go unless I went so, not wanting to ruin everyone's night, I accepted to go there.

However, minutes after getting in, I was already sick of the place and just wanted to go home. I said buy to my friends and left before Kate had a chance to get there. She pleaded me ALL night (by text message) to go back and have fun with all of them and that she'd be there with me and it wouldn't suck. I was flattered, but there was no chance in hell that I was going back!

Anyways, so the next day, after work, she picked me up (because I had promised to teach her how to play guitar). So I sat down with her and we played for about 30 minutes. She ended up staying over for supper and we chit-chatted a bit. At the end of the night, I walked her to her car, kiss on the cheek, taw-taw, see you next time! She sent me a text message before going to bed saying "good night xxx".

I'm seriously out of my head trying to figure out what I'm doing that she likes so much. I've not been "particularly" nice to her... at least not more than I am with others, I haven't really flirted much (if I have, it was unconciously), She's COMPLETELY out of my league (like Mila Kunis and MacCauley Culkin)!

...Am I being played? I'm being played, aren't I?

 

[meathead96]

Doesn't sound like playing to me. Maybe she thinks you'll be a possible relationship when maybe e1 else was just a "fuck". I say ask her out, or over for a meal, whichever suits you, and see where it leads. Only this time, STAY SOBER. You'll be able to better grasp what is going on during the evening.

I went out with her and a few friends on Saturday.
There was a festival in town. I can't say she was all over me all night. In fact, during the fireworks, I didn't even know she was there (I was pretty high...), though I can't say she was all over my best friend either. However, when the festivities were over, we went to my friend Dom's house where everyone decided to go clubbing. I despise clubs. I hate house music and more so being surrounded by a bunch of roid raging douchebags! But she didn't want to go unless I went so, not wanting to ruin everyone's night, I accepted to go there.

However, minutes after getting in, I was already sick of the place and just wanted to go home. I said buy to my friends and left before Kate had a chance to get there. She pleaded me ALL night (by text message) to go back and have fun with all of them and that she'd be there with me and it wouldn't suck. I was flattered, but there was no chance in hell that I was going back!

Anyways, so the next day, after work, she picked me up (because I had promised to teach her how to play guitar). So I sat down with her and we played for about 30 minutes. She ended up staying over for supper and we chit-chatted a bit. At the end of the night, I walked her to her car, kiss on the cheek, taw-taw, see you next time! She sent me a text message before going to bed saying "good night xxx".

I'm seriously out of my head trying to figure out what I'm doing that she likes so much. I've not been "particularly" nice to her... at least not more than I am with others, I haven't really flirted much (if I have, it was unconciously), She's COMPLETELY out of my league (like Mila Kunis and MacCauley Culkin)!

...Am I being played? I'm being played, aren't I?

 

[Firebrain]

All this getting high is clearly inducing some paranoia.

 

[Firebrain]

My laptop thought an echo would have more impact.

 

[Mac98]

Doesn't sound like playing to me. Maybe she thinks you'll be a possible relationship when maybe e1 else was just a "fuck". I say ask her out, or over for a meal, whichever suits you, and see where it leads. Only this time, STAY SOBER. You'll be able to better grasp what is going on during the evening.

Well, see... when I invited her over for supper last night I was completely sober. I just have so much trouble sizing her. I've heard so much gossip about her from different very unreliable sources on top of the fact that she's way out of my league... she barely knows me, I barely know her and she speaks so little that it's hard to understand just what's going on in her head. Was that night she was all over me just the after-effect of alcohol, or was it actually legit?

All this getting high is clearly inducing some paranoia.

lolllll Firebrain... read any other thread I've ever started; paranoia and over-analyzing is ALWAYS an issue with me.

 

[Primalex]

...Am I being played? I'm being played, aren't I?

Who cares?

I mean, really, what exactly is the worst that will happen?

 

[Mac98]

Who cares?

I mean, really, what exactly is the worst that will happen?

Umm... ok, well worst case scenario would be that I fall for her and she ends up getting up and leaving. Then, I'm left alone with a broken heart and non-existent dignity. That's worst case scenario, and I'm not at that point, yet... and I don't know about you, but being played doesn't normally leave you with a pleasant feeling afterwards.

That, or I stay defensive and shielded so that I DON'T get hurt and end up interfering with what could be a pleasant friendship... one or the other would suck.

 

[SweetErika]

Well, see... when I invited her over for supper last night I was completely sober. I just have so much trouble sizing her. I've heard so much gossip about her from different very unreliable sources on top of the fact that she's way out of my league... she barely knows me, I barely know her and she speaks so little that it's hard to understand just what's going on in her head. Was that night she was all over me just the after-effect of alcohol, or was it actually legit?

Why would you listen to gossip from "different very unreliable sources" - what's the point if they're not credible? Can't you just enjoy the experiences for what they are and make up your own mind about her?

lolllll Firebrain... read any other thread I've ever started; paranoia and over-analyzing is ALWAYS an issue with me.

They must be behaviors you like/appreciate, or else you'd work hard to change them, no? If you keep doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

Firebrain might be onto something - it sounds like laying off the smoke could result in some very positive things for you.

 

[Mac98]

Why would you listen to gossip from "different very unreliable sources" - what's the point if they're not credible? Can't you just enjoy the experiences for what they are and make up your own mind about her?


They must be behaviors you like/appreciate, or else you'd work hard to change them, no? If you keep doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, you're going to be sorely disappointed.


Firebrain might be onto something - it sounds like laying off the smoke could result in some very positive things for you.

To be honest, I'm not sure who to believe... She told a few stories before that have kinda' made me wince and give more credibility to those rumours, but at the same time, out of everyone who's met her so far, I'm about the only one willing to get to see for myself weather this is true... because if those rumours are false, then she's definately someone I'd want to hang out with regularly. If they're true, then it doesn't mean she doesn't have a good heart, but she's not the type of person I want to surround myself with... I don't know...

And as far as overthinking and overanalyzing is concerned, I see it both as a gift and a burden. There are times where I'm thankful I'm like this and other times I wish I weren't. I'm trying to find the balance, believe me.

And please, although it may seem otherwise, I don't smoke on a regular basis. Actually, I've only started smoking socially in the past few months. I don't abuse of it. I smoke maybe once a week, twice if it's called for. Sometimes once every two weeks and never alone. I'm not a stoner nor do I condone smoking on a regular basis .

Drugs're mbad, m'kay?

 

[Luna_Bella]

well first of all get to know her better.... the guitar lessons are a very good excuse to get some one on one time with her.... so what if she's easy if you guys only turn out to be friends?

from my point of view, she's interested in you ,anyways if I was to act the way she was acting and doing the things that she's doing (ex:texting, scalp massages etc) I it would definetly mean that I am interested.

So what if Dom is (in your opinion) better looking? quit diminishing yourself , everyone is attracted to different things.... maybe she thinks you are more mysterious and profound than your womanizing friend, ever think of that???

I am friends with brothers, the younger one is taller, more charming, more flirty, and according to most better looking then the older brother. But I would pick the older brother every single time if you asked me to choose which one I am more attracted to; he's more caring , more serious and his smile is amazing when it comes out.

Some girls like flashy bling but some others prefer
discreet yet very luxurious/precious jewels. get my drift????

 

[Mac98]

well first of all get to know her better.... the guitar lessons are a very good excuse to get some one on one time with her.... so what if she's easy if you guys only turn out to be friends?

from my point of view, she's interested in you ,anyways if I was to act the way she was acting and doing the things that she's doing (ex:texting, scalp massages etc) I it would definetly mean that I am interested.

So what if Dom is (in your opinion) better looking? quit diminishing yourself , everyone is attracted to different things.... maybe she thinks you are more mysterious and profound than your womanizing friend, ever think of that???

I am friends with brothers, the younger one is taller, more charming, more flirty, and according to most better looking then the older brother. But I would pick the older brother every single time if you asked me to choose which one I am more attracted to; he's more caring , more serious and his smile is amazing when it comes out.

Some girls like flashy bling but some others prefer
discreet yet very luxurious/precious jewels. get my drift????

Yeah, I understand what you mean. I have a friend who had a thing for me and could have cared less about Dom. Not that she didn't think he was good-looking, she just preffered me. So I know what you mean, but "Kate" is used to having Joe 6-pack with the douchey Ed Hardy clothes and the faux-hawk. I fit nothing of that description. I don't diminish myself out of self-pity or anything, I'm just putting the facts on the table. I'm not terrible-looking, I know... but she could do better lol.

And the problem with her being easy if we turn out to be friends is that I'm scared that I'll fall in love with her. Falling in love with someone who's easy is not necessarily my cup of tea (again, though... this is assuming she's easy). Maybe she's into me... unlikely but maybe. I've decided to cut it down to alcohol and friendly chit-chat. Nothing more. But if she is, then I just stumbled upon the most precious of diamonds :O.

Oh, and fyi: She managed to hook my mom up with her dad... in a matter of 24 hours. Gotta' hand it to her, she knows how to get what she wants.

 

[Pointless_Username]

It sounds to me like she's flirting. But watch out, cuz some women are flirtateous (is that a word?) by nature and can sometimes send out mixed signals unintentionally. In any case, I'd say keep hanging out with her and see for yourself whether the rumors about her are true and in the end, you might end up making a great friend.

The question is: How would you react to her having feelings for you?

And I also agree with meathead... see how your brain "over-analyzes" these things when you're sober. Maybe a clear head will reveil more...

In any case, good luck!

 

[culloden]

Mac, same advice as I always have for you. Be straight with her. Don't let your assumptions trump her actual behavior. And above all, relax. You're your own worst enemy. But you know that.

Truth is, you sound like a nice guy, not a player. A lot of women dig nice guys.

And trust me on this - to paraphrase Mark Twain, in 20 years you'll regret the chances you didn't take a hell of a lot more than the ones you took.

 

[Mac98]

It sounds to me like she's flirting. But watch out, cuz some women are flirtateous (is that a word?) by nature and can sometimes send out mixed signals unintentionally. In any case, I'd say keep hanging out with her and see for yourself whether the rumors about her are true and in the end, you might end up making a great friend.

The question is: How would you react to her having feelings for you?

And I also agree with meathead... see how your brain "over-analyzes" these things when you're sober. Maybe a clear head will reveil more...

In any case, good luck!

See, that's exactly what I'm worried about. I'm worried that they be innocent intentions and I'm perceiving them as "she's playing me". I doubt she's into me, very much so. She seems to like who I am, but like I said... she seriously could do so much better. Models/actresses don't usually go for the 'nice-guy'. Her ex-boyfriends can confirm this (or so I've heard... there I go, making assumptions again!).

As per the high... I haven't been stoned in over a week.... I've cut down a lot because of my asthma (fucken allergies!!), so the last couple of times that I've been with her were all with a sober brain... and I still over-analyse lol.

I think it would help if she wasn't such a touchy-feely type of person. She likes to be close. Either that or she's throwing herself at me and I'm not noticing, but I've seen her do this with Dom too, so... y'know?

Mac, same advice as I always have for you. Be straight with her. Don't let your assumptions trump her actual behavior. And above all, relax. You're your own worst enemy. But you know that.

Truth is, you sound like a nice guy, not a player. A lot of women dig nice guys.

And trust me on this - to paraphrase Mark Twain, in 20 years you'll regret the chances you didn't take a hell of a lot more than the ones you took.

I know all this in theory, Culloden, but I'm so scared of having to go through another process of getting over the rejection... Heck, I'm not even in love with her yet... well, actually, at this point I think it's safe to say I've crossed the "feelings" boarder, I'm at least there... and already I'm going out of my mind.

But you're absolutely right (again). Instead of waiting another 4 years again, I guess I don't have much of a choice to confront her. Pfff! I've been through rejection before, worst comes to worse I'm sure I can take it *rolling eyes*!

Thanks guys. I'm seeing her on Sunday (her dad's running a marathon to raise money for cancer) so I'll see if I can take her aside a minute at the end of the day and get things straightened out.

 

[Pointless_Username]

See, that's exactly what I'm worried about. I'm worried that they be innocent intentions and I'm perceiving them as "she's playing me". I doubt she's into me, very much so. She seems to like who I am, but like I said... she seriously could do so much better. Models/actresses don't usually go for the 'nice-guy'. Her ex-boyfriends can confirm this (or so I've heard... there I go, making assumptions again!).

As per the high... I haven't been stoned in over a week.... I've cut down a lot because of my asthma (fucken allergies!!), so the last couple of times that I've been with her were all with a sober brain... and I still over-analyse lol.

I think it would help if she wasn't such a touchy-feely type of person. She likes to be close. Either that or she's throwing herself at me and I'm not noticing, but I've seen her do this with Dom too, so... y'know?

Thanks guys. I'm seeing her on Sunday (her dad's running a marathon to raise money for cancer) so I'll see if I can take her aside a minute at the end of the day and get things straightened out.

Touchy-feely people are hard to read, yes, but this doesn't mean that she's not into you. Anyone who spoons with someone else, no matter HOW touchy-feely they are, are either incredibly out of it or into you in some way or form. That's for sure! I think Culloden is absolutely right! Just relax, be yourself and go with the flow... Look at where this scene'll take you and go with it. You have nothing to lose anyways. If she's playing you, then the moment to find out is NOW. If you say you're starting to have feelings for her, then find out before you actually fall in love. At that point, if she IS playing you, then the hurt will be so much greater.

Just go for it, guy, you're only young once. Talk to her about it on Sunday if you get the chance. I suggest doing it when the day is done so you don't spend the rest of the day in an awkward ambiance, depending on her reaction, but reserve enough time so that you two can have a discussion is there's the need for it.

But I definately agree with Culloden. Just do it! Get it over with! Tell her how you feel about her and about the situation you're in. Good luck and let me know how it goes.

 

[littlebabyclit]

See, that's exactly what I'm worried about. I'm worried that they be innocent intentions and I'm perceiving them as "she's playing me". I doubt she's into me, very much so. She seems to like who I am, but like I said... she seriously could do so much better. Models/actresses don't usually go for the 'nice-guy'. Her ex-boyfriends can confirm this (or so I've heard... there I go, making assumptions again!).

I think it would help if she wasn't such a touchy-feely type of person. She likes to be close. Either that or she's throwing herself at me and I'm not noticing, but I've seen her do this with Dom too, so... y'know?

I know all this in theory, Culloden, but I'm so scared of having to go through another process of getting over the rejection... Heck, I'm not even in love with her yet... well, actually, at this point I think it's safe to say I've crossed the "feelings" boarder, I'm at least there... and already I'm going out of my mind.
But you're absolutely right (again). Instead of waiting another 4 years again, I guess I don't have much of a choice to confront her. Pfff! I've been through rejection before, worst comes to worse I'm sure I can take it *rolling eyes*!

Thanks guys. I'm seeing her on Sunday (her dad's running a marathon to raise money for cancer) so I'll see if I can take her aside a minute at the end of the day and get things straightened out.

Hi Mac. I don't like people who have to get all touchy feely in front of others. It's just like how I find it kind of stupid a lot and so "look at me" when people do public flirting in the threads around Lit. I'm not into exhibitionist behaviour at all. I find it a bit distastefully narcissistic. Is that at all part of your reaction here? Because that will color your reaction to the touchy feely displays of interest, flirting, affection or whatever is really going on. If you're like me, and you may be in this regard, her exhibitionist flirting with you came across as possibly a little manipulative. That doesn't mean it is necessarily, you may just both have different ideas on when and how it is appropriate to show physical affection in front of others. Her idea is a little immature, IMO.

As far as the possibility of rejection from her goes, I'd say you should go for the opposite of what you tend to do. You should attempt not so much to protect yourself from any potential rejection by analyzing, re-analyzing and eventually avoiding the chance of it, but throw yourself into life, and get used to changing fortunes and getting hurt ...this will serve you well in all facets of life, not just the love/romance department.

Let us know how Sunday goes.

 

[Mac98]

Hi Mac. I don't like people who have to get all touchy feely in front of others. It's just like how I find it kind of stupid a lot and so "look at me" when people do public flirting in the threads around Lit. I'm not into exhibitionist behaviour at all. I find it a bit distastefully narcissistic. Is that at all part of your reaction here? Because that will color your reaction to the touchy feely displays of interest, flirting, affection or whatever is really going on. If you're like me, and you may be in this regard, her exhibitionist flirting with you came across as possibly a little manipulative. That doesn't mean it is necessarily, you may just both have different ideas on when and how it is appropriate to show physical affection in front of others. Her idea is a little immature, IMO.

As far as the possibility of rejection from her goes, I'd say you should go for the opposite of what you tend to do. You should attempt not so much to protect yourself from any potential rejection by analyzing, re-analyzing and eventually avoiding the chance of it, but throw yourself into life, and get used to changing fortunes and getting hurt ...this will serve you well in all facets of life, not just the love/romance department.

Let us know how Sunday goes.

Ahhh! Nice to hear from you again, LBC! I don't have much of a problem with touchy-feely people, but within limits. I think that if you spoon with someone and toy with their emotions if you have no feelings whatsoever towards that person, then I think that's taking it too far. But I work with a girl who's constantly grabbing people by the shoulders and giving people high fives. She just likes the physical contact, but doesn't cross boundaries. I don't mind that, it's cute! It's nice that some people aren't all uptight and reserved like I am. I need my space and don't like it when people invade my atmosphere, though some people are just innocent enough and can pull it off without me having a problem with it. Either that, or get me when I'm not sober.

But apart from the fact that "Kate" was nowhere near sober that night, she crossed boundaries that normally, I would be uncomfortable with (if she has no feelings or attraction toward myself). However, I was high... so I didn't really care too much. But you are somewhat right. I am, in big part, fearful that she's trying to lure me to her only to reject me only so I can fulfill her need for attention and affection before she can move on to someone else. I don't think she'd do that, but it's something that preoccupies me which is why I feel I should talk to her about it.

I will thus end this long-ass post with the truer words of Maynard James Keenan:

"Suckin up all you can suck.
Workin up under my patience like a little tick.
Fat little parasite."

I hate manipulators and people who abuse of your trust. I've had a problem with these people for the longest time, which is why I'm so reluctant to get involved with this girl.

 

[culloden]

"As far as the possibility of rejection from her goes, I'd say you should go for the opposite of what you tend to do. You should attempt not so much to protect yourself from any potential rejection by analyzing, re-analyzing and eventually avoiding the chance of it, but throw yourself into life, and get used to changing fortunes and getting hurt ...this will serve you well in all facets of life, not just the love/romance department. "


That's great advice.

I'd also advise you to go easy on the weed and the alcohol. I'm not sayin' you have a problem, or to avoid them entirely, just not to get so fucked up that your judgment is impaired. It sounds like that was your state on the night in question, and you were left with a bunch of unanswered questions.

FWIW, it sounds like you're a lot like I was at 20. I turned down several very likely prospects because it was hard to fathom that some girl might actually be into me. It was easy to imagine that girls who seemed interested in me were just playing me. I'm sure that came from having been the fat, bookish kid in my mid-teens who did get played. That changes as people hit their 20s, and I regret those choices now. In retrospect the risks were minimal and the potential benefits were, well, benefits.

Faint heart ne'er won fair lady.

 

[Mac98]

"As far as the possibility of rejection from her goes, I'd say you should go for the opposite of what you tend to do. You should attempt not so much to protect yourself from any potential rejection by analyzing, re-analyzing and eventually avoiding the chance of it, but throw yourself into life, and get used to changing fortunes and getting hurt ...this will serve you well in all facets of life, not just the love/romance department. "


That's great advice.

I'd also advise you to go easy on the weed and the alcohol. I'm not sayin' you have a problem, or to avoid them entirely, just not to get so fucked up that your judgment is impaired. It sounds like that was your state on the night in question, and you were left with a bunch of unanswered questions.

FWIW, it sounds like you're a lot like I was at 20. I turned down several very likely prospects because it was hard to fathom that some girl might actually be into me. It was easy to imagine that girls who seemed interested in me were just playing me. I'm sure that came from having been the fat, bookish kid in my mid-teens who did get played. That changes as people hit their 20s, and I regret those choices now. In retrospect the risks were minimal and the potential benefits were, well, benefits.

Faint heart ne'er won fair lady.

I'm not much on marijuana and I don't drink alcohol. I can't drink alcohol because I can't digest it very well. And ya, that night, I was too high to really care about what was happening, but I've re-analysed with a clear mind since then and had I been sober, it would've probably raised even MORE questions... and if she weren't drunk, then I'm not too sure I'd even have a strong enough mind to fathom what the hell happened lol.

And yes, I have a tendency (well, not a tendency, more of a habbit) of rejecting before being rejected and, in the past year, am starting to learn to change that. That's why I'm not dismissing her entirely. Normally, I would've cut contact with her like I did all the others times, but thanks, in large part, to the people here on lit, I try to keep an open mind about these things.

I'll see on Monday. She's coming up to my cottage for the long weekend with a few other friends of mine. I'll sit her down and talk to her then. By next week, I should know exactly where I'm going with all this...