could use some advice

[WildChild19]

Okay- Hi All, this is gonna be a doosy! I need some advice. There is this guy from work, we'll call him Brian. He and I have been working together for almost a year and a half. From my first week on the job, we have been flirting, and I mean FLIRTING!!! He was married until a month or so ago. Last Friday he gave me his new cell phone number. didn't say anything, just handed it to me. I waited until Sat. night to call him (a) to show a little control, and (b) I had family obligations to tend to. I called him and after a 10 min or so conversation he said he could stand a little company and did i want to come over. So I drove over there. I wasn't too anxious because we are "friends", he was drinking, i drank a little, and we smoked up a bit. The flirting was pretty intence as it usually is, but then he made some comments about my body ( and he usually doesn't). So, we kissed, an innocent little lip action. Then we sat on the couch again and after a few minutes I kissed him again and this time there was a lot of tounge and his hands were all over me. Eventually, we were both naked and started really going at it. It was good sex, not stellar but it was our first time together and that tends to be a little awkward. I came, I think he did, my question is this.....if it was better for me than it was for him...do men give women a chance to redeem themselves in bed. I was nervous and really surprised at how fast it all happened. I am worried that he didn't have a good time. any help would be appritiated - thanks

 

[watergirl]

advice

well... I think he's a very lucky guy, and I hope he doesn't turn into a jerk who ignores you... (Boy, I have so much confidence in men, don't I.. ) But - really, I don't think you need to worry - time will tell. He probably thinks he's a lucky guy, too. That's brave of you to go there, working together - I try to keep my work & fun separate, as far as dating - but then, I work in theater, and we're a pretty nosy gossipy bunch sometimes...

I guess it's up to the men out there to really clue us in on your question!

 

[WildChild19]

thanks

Thanks watergirl- I usually try to keep work and fun seprate too but there was always something so irrasistable about him - the real digger is that he isn't even my "type", I just was drawn to him from day 1 I guess that's the way life is - funny to the point of shear insanity

 

[peachykeen]

He's a guy, you came over, and you fucked him. I'd reckon he's probably pretty happy about the whole thing. Quit worrying.

 

[Hexiegirl]

heh heh, yup wildchild, he's probably thrilled!!! Don't worry about it

 

[MyOpinion]

*Opi singing song*
"Wildchild, full of grace, savior of the human race..."

Oh, sorry, got carried away on name!

I came, I think he did, You're teasing, right?

my question is this.....if it was better for me than it was for him...do men give women a chance to redeem themselves in bed.
I was nervous and really surprised at how fast it all happened. I am worried that he didn't have a good time.

Just on the surface, and from what you write, either he 'came' or he did not. So lets look at that first and assume you are not teasing. (How could you not know? LOL!)

Ok, giggles behind us, IF he came and was conscious for it, was in the same room as you both mentally and physically, then I would have to say YEAH, HE HAD A GOOD TIME AT THAT TIME!

Beyond that, it seems to me you are worried about your performance and that you are not going to get this guy to be your lover. Is that the question? Or do we go deeper? (hehehe - gads, I love analysis! LOL!)

Originally posted by WildChild19: There is this guy from work, we'll call him Brian. He and I have been working together for almost a year and a half. From my first week on the job, we have been flirting, and I mean FLIRTING!!!

Right there, not a good thing from my own experience with gal from work. Never works out. She worries he'll fire if not responsive, he worries about her getting ahead of him. Unless the place is really big and you both are NOT in the same level of work/authority AND NOT affected by one another's decisions. Are either of you partners or owners in/of business? If NOT what happens in place of work and out of work will usually spill over.

He was married until a month or so ago.
Hmm, for a 1 and 1/2 period you two have been flirting at work and now he is separated or divorced? Which? Not that it matters but you gotta ask if this is a good timing for trying to start a relationship. I mean, you are looking to have a further relationship with this guy, right? Or you would not be concerned about what transpired, right? Or are you worried about losing him as a friend? To what? Friend to lover- friend to hating you- friend to expecting more of same from you later on?

Lover who didn't like how night went? I think there is more here than that!

Last Friday he gave me his new cell phone number. didn't say anything, just handed it to me. I waited until Sat. night to call him (a) to show a little control... I called him and after a 10 min or so conversation he said he could stand a little company and did i want to come over. So I drove over there.

Dam! LOL! Now, to me, who is older guy so forgive my sense of timing, 12 to 18 hours and 10 minutes later is quick. Now, I am not saying that this is quick for you and others but it would show me very "little control." Where were you when I was youthful lad? LOL! If your Brian is into control, baby you are his! In such a case you WILL be pleasing him in the future, oh yeah!

Gee, I don't know if this helps you or not or answers your question. But that's my opinion!

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I don't care how bad a woman is in bed teh first time, I'll always give her a second chance, and probably a third and fourth too!

 

[Purple Velvet]

Work Relations

You're obviously interested in this guy. You've now made your move, and had sex. Just wait for his reactions. You work together, so it's not like he can avoid you. Good Luck.

 

[WildChild19]

thanks - you're right, I am into this guy! I am nervous about waiting for his responce. Good news is he hasn't been avoiding me at work (woo hoo) Though he hasn't said anything about the night we spent together. And to clairify - he is not above or below me at work. We don't even work in the same department. I know that getting involved with someone i work with is a potentially hazerdous situation but I know better than to get involved with someone I work FOR or someone who works FOR ME.We did agree to not discuss it at work or with people we work with becasue my office is the gossip capital of the world. I guess I have no choice but to wait for his responce. I did call him but he wasn't home soI left him a message. Thanks eveyone!!!

 

[Autoguy]

Wild, afuck is a fuck.

 

[Jaded1]

See a lot of male bashing going on here ladys.....

Hi, Wildchild.

First of all not all men are desperate. I want to set that straight...

I think you have to decide were you want to take the relationship. If the love making was only fair then I wouldn't loose sleep over it. It's not like you owe him a orgasm! I see no pity in self inflicted whisky dick! Plus you don't keep count in love making! If you see a relationship with incredible possibilities and want to persue it then by all means go after him.

Ladys let me explain some very basic facts. You are reading WAY to much into what it takes to keep a man happy. We are in fact very basic primal animals. Are needs are basically simple. We reguire basically only two things to keep use for the most part very happy. We require food and lots of sex. I mean don't try treating us like idiots. But, really ladys us guys are not that dam complicated. You are reading way to much into like usual.... lol

Jaded1, CT

 

[AardRiven]

I dont see how you dont know if he came. I can see female faking orgasm (even after you tell them not to) but I just dont see it being an issue for a guy. If he was too drunk to get off, thats his problem and you arent to blame. But, I still think that he will call you regardless, if for nothing else, for another round.

I agree with Jaded1, except I need my computer more than I need sex. Maybe its that I had so much sex in last 7-10 years that its more than lots of people will in their life and my computers were always year or two old and now I got this kickass baby I spent a ton on. (I'm still not turning down getting laid, its just that after going two-three rounds some days, sometimes I'd rather be on my computer for an intermission)